Whether you prefer to plan dates or have them planned for you, a date’s location or activity can play a big role in how well it goes – so this week we discuss how to successfully plan early dates with a new person.
 

Whose Responsibility? | Providing Input | Dietary Restrictions | Go-To Locations | Civil Liberties | Pour Boy | Activity vs. Conversation | Movies & Museums | Too Loud | Poor Planning & Incompatibility | Free/Cheap Date Ideas | “Sexy” Dates | Kate’s Upcoming Musical Improv Shows

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Lots of people like to incorporate multimedia into their sexting, so this week we discuss the benefits of sending voice memos and provocative pictures, among other things.
 

Eggplant Emoji | Shy Texters | Digital & Emotional Context | Parenting | Voice Notes | Phone Sex | Lewds & Nudes | Photography Tips

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

This week we discuss some of our favorite things about sexting – like how it can build rapport, establish compatibility, and even increase your empathy.
 

Filling Time at Work | Why We Love Sexting | During Daily Life | Intent & Desire | Good Sexts = Good Sex? | What Makes It Good/Bad? | Talk About the Clit | “Yes, And”-ing | Word Preferences | Attunement | Suddenly Vanishing | “Don’t Know What to Say” | Self-Censoring Critic | Psychological Element | Multi-Threaded Conversations | Metacommunication | Words & Empathy

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

This week, we answer more questions about asking questions – including questions that can help you suss out somebody’s politics or kinks, negotiate safer sex protocols, and (maybe) call the whole thing off.
 

Personal Questions | Touchy Subjects | Political Alignment | STI Testing | Disclosing Kinkiness | Assessing Chemistry

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Diving deeper into our recent discussion on how curiosity is sexy, this week we discuss the practice of asking questions on dates: why it matters, why it’s hot, and what kinds of questions we like to ask and be asked.
 

Why Ask Questions? | Demonstrating Interest | Assessing Compatibility | Conversational Labor | Building Connection | Carrying the Conversation | Different Conversational Styles | Easy Questions | Questions We’ve Loved

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Polyamorous dating can be pretty different depending on whether you’re single versus in a long-term relationship already; this week we discuss our experiences of both kinds.
 

Primary vs. Anchor | Hierarchy | Scarcity vs. Abundance | Avoiding Codependency | Growth & Change | New Relationship Energy | Monogamous-Minded People | Dating Newbies | Bringing It Up | New People | Couples’ Privilege | Security | Humanizing Metamours

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

This week we’re discussing some interesting and unusual fetishes we’ve stumbled across recently, from glossy magazines to nail-biting to haircutting.
 

Glossy Magazines | Eggs | Job Ethics | Squidly Co. (Discount Code DILDORKS20) | Non-Consensual Haircutting | Forced Masculinization | Nail-Biting | Context-Dependent Desires

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

This week we discuss two crucial qualities that can make you exponentially better in bed (and out of bed, too): curiosity and creativity.

Sexual Skills | Communication | Curiosity | Accepting Feedback | Limitations | Compassion & Empathy | Conflicts & Problem-Solving | Solo Curiosity | Curiosity is Attractive | Asking Questions & Listening | Long-Term Relationships | Brainstorming & Decision-Making | “Short Kings”

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

Pursuing pleasure isn’t always as easy as it may seem, so this week we’re discussing some common hurdles to pleasure and how to overcome them, among other things.
 

What is Pleasurable? | Resistance to Sensation | Underprepared for Pleasure | Hurdles | Daydreaming | Romanticizing Your Life | Posting About Pleasure | Nervous System Regulation | Mental Preparation | “How Can I Make This Fun?” | Workarounds for “Productivity” Anxieties | Idle Brain Time | Gender Euphoria | Public-Facing Persona | Suggestions

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.

When times get tough, pleasure becomes more important than ever. This week, we discuss our favorite ways of accessing pleasure, and the role it plays in our lives, both in and out of the bedroom.
 

Pleasure Activism | “A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats” | Taking the Leap | Beacon of Pleasure Permission | Our Favorite Pleasures | Cocktails & Rituals | Cleaning & Organizing | Learning & Improving | Savoring | Joy as Resistance | Pain & Masochism | Conversations | Chastity & Denial | Disordered Eating (42:00–46:50) | Alleviation of Discomfort | Trans Youth Healthcare Action

Credits:

Music by PROTODOME

Artwork by Addison Finch

Become a patron to support the show and get access to our private Discord, monthly bonus episodes, and your name mentioned on the show.