Your husband's a piece of shit. No one's asking if Johnny Sins is running for office and a little saddle that goes around your balls.

Hiccups are worse than cancer, porn needs canned laughter and the inflated price of whale cum these days.

Dan Andrews f**ked with my wife, cool teenagers flipping off cameras and a totally new thing called butter toast.

Pre-funeral wanks, pop-punk Christmas music and feeling threatened enough to do your job properly.

Bluetooth speakers displease god, chain-smoking joints while riding tractors and shitting loudly at your parents house.

Babies are inherently useless, picking up girls on razor scooters and Matthew McConaughey.