The Direction Podcast

Conflict with your kids is inevitable. Turning that conflict into a battle isn’t. Duncan discusses why adversarial dynamics can undermine a parent’s authority over time, why teenagers are especially prone to pushing back, and how parents can hold limits without getting pulled into unnecessary fights. The goal isn’t to avoid disagreement or keep your child happy—it’s to preserve a relationship in which, as much as possible, you’re still on the same team.

Getting your child out of bed can become one of those small daily battles that somehow takes over the whole morning. Duncan and Val discuss when waking up should become a child’s responsibility, why allowing smaller failures now can prevent bigger ones later, and how parents can support kids without taking over. They also tackle the harder situations—when a child’s struggle affects siblings, school, or the rest of the family.

Most good parenting involves knowing when to step back—but sometimes parents need to take charge. Duncan explains the idea of a “train track moment”: a situation where safety is at stake and there isn’t time to negotiate, deliberate, or worry about making your child unhappy. He discusses how to distinguish healthy noninterference from necessary intervention, and why decisive action during a genuine crisis is part of being a good leader.

Duncan talks with occupational therapist Val about how autism is recognized and diagnosed, what experienced clinicians notice that formal testing may miss, and why some children—particularly girls—can be difficult to identify. They also explore conditions that can look like autism, why diagnoses have risen so dramatically, and where the evidence ends and clinical experience and opinion begin.

Part of growing up is learning to take responsibility—for everyday tasks, decisions, mistakes, and ultimately your own life. Duncan discusses why parents often transfer responsibility too slowly, why diagnoses and developmental challenges should be treated as factors rather than automatic excuses, and why children need opportunities to try, fail, and try again. The goal isn’t responsibility for its own sake: with greater responsibility comes greater freedom, confidence, and independence.

Rewards and punishments can change a child’s behavior—but does that change last? Duncan talks with Direction therapist Erin about why carrots and sticks often work in the short term but fail to build lasting change. They discuss natural consequences, the difference between control and authority, and why a strong parent-child relationship may be the most durable influence a parent has.

Autism is diagnosed more often than ever, but there is still enormous confusion about what it actually is—and what it isn’t. In the first of a series on autism, I sit down with Direction occupational therapist Valerie Bowles to work through the question from the ground up.

Using the DSM criteria as a loose framework, we discuss social communication, masking, eye contact, relationships, repetitive behaviors, rigidity, intense interests, and sensory differences. We also tackle common misconceptions, including the idea that autistic people lack empathy or don’t want meaningful relationships.

This is the first in a broader series exploring autism, including diagnosis, treatment, and some of the controversies surrounding how we understand and approach it.

Many of the parenting ideas I’ve shared over the years didn’t begin with me. They came from countless conversations with my father, psychiatrist Dr. David Gill, who in turn learned many of them from his own father. In this first conversation together, we discuss what decades of psychiatry and parenting have taught him about raising independent children, why “If you can’t say no, you can’t say yes,” and the simple philosophy that has shaped both of our approaches: provide maximum support, minimum interference. Along the way, he shares the remarkable story behind the title of his book, If I Cry or Need You, and one of the most profound lessons about parenting that I've ever heard.

One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to step in—and when to step back.

In this episode, I introduce two principles that help children become capable, independent adults: maximum support, minimum interference and allow your child to fail. Using the simple example of learning to ride a bike, we explore why children grow through experimentation, why natural consequences are often the best teacher, and how too much interference can unintentionally stunt confidence and independence.

Our role isn’t to remove every obstacle from our children’s path. It’s to support them as they learn to overcome those obstacles themselves.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.

What do elephants, wolves, bears, chimpanzees, and even house cats have in common with healthy human parenting?

In this episode, therapist Erin examines the surprising ways animals prepare their young for independence—and how those same principles can help us become better parents. From secure attachment and emotional regulation to play, boundaries, and gradually increasing responsibility, nature offers some remarkable lessons about raising capable, confident children.

The species may differ, but the goal is often the same: helping the next generation learn to thrive without us.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.