Rewards and punishments can change a child’s behavior—but does that change last? Duncan talks with Direction therapist Erin about why carrots and sticks often work in the short term but fail to build lasting change. They discuss natural consequences, the difference between control and authority, and why a strong parent-child relationship may be the most durable influence a parent has.

Autism is diagnosed more often than ever, but there is still enormous confusion about what it actually is—and what it isn’t. In the first of a series on autism, I sit down with Direction occupational therapist Valerie Bowles to work through the question from the ground up.

Using the DSM criteria as a loose framework, we discuss social communication, masking, eye contact, relationships, repetitive behaviors, rigidity, intense interests, and sensory differences. We also tackle common misconceptions, including the idea that autistic people lack empathy or don’t want meaningful relationships.

This is the first in a broader series exploring autism, including diagnosis, treatment, and some of the controversies surrounding how we understand and approach it.

Many of the parenting ideas I’ve shared over the years didn’t begin with me. They came from countless conversations with my father, psychiatrist Dr. David Gill, who in turn learned many of them from his own father. In this first conversation together, we discuss what decades of psychiatry and parenting have taught him about raising independent children, why “If you can’t say no, you can’t say yes,” and the simple philosophy that has shaped both of our approaches: provide maximum support, minimum interference. Along the way, he shares the remarkable story behind the title of his book, If I Cry or Need You, and one of the most profound lessons about parenting that I've ever heard.

One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to step in—and when to step back.

In this episode, I introduce two principles that help children become capable, independent adults: maximum support, minimum interference and allow your child to fail. Using the simple example of learning to ride a bike, we explore why children grow through experimentation, why natural consequences are often the best teacher, and how too much interference can unintentionally stunt confidence and independence.

Our role isn’t to remove every obstacle from our children’s path. It’s to support them as they learn to overcome those obstacles themselves.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.

What do elephants, wolves, bears, chimpanzees, and even house cats have in common with healthy human parenting?

In this episode, therapist Erin examines the surprising ways animals prepare their young for independence—and how those same principles can help us become better parents. From secure attachment and emotional regulation to play, boundaries, and gradually increasing responsibility, nature offers some remarkable lessons about raising capable, confident children.

The species may differ, but the goal is often the same: helping the next generation learn to thrive without us.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.

A common parental complaint is, “I’ve lost control of my child.” But what if control was never the goal?

In this episode, I explore the difference between controlling a child’s behavior and earning the kind of authority that creates lasting influence. I talk about how power naturally fades as children grow, why control battles are counterproductive, and how the parents who have the greatest impact over time are those who earn their children’s respect rather than demand their obedience.

Through the lens of the Direction Leadership Principles, this episode offers a different way to think about discipline, influence, and what it means to lead your family well.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.

“Doctor, if this were your child, would you prescribe medication?”

In this episode, I talk about my approach to one of the most important decisions families face. Rather than viewing medication as inherently good or bad, I explain why every treatment decision comes down to weighing risks, benefits, and how much a child’s symptoms are interfering with their ability to function and thrive.

I discuss the role of therapy, parenting, lifestyle changes, and medication, why psychiatric medications can be both life-changing and life-saving when used appropriately, and why they should never distract from the larger goal of helping children grow into healthy, capable, independent adults.

Whether you’re considering medication for your child or simply want to better understand how an experienced child psychiatrist thinks through these decisions, this episode offers a thoughtful framework for approaching one of parenting’s most challenging questions.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.

Parents have never had more access to parenting advice—but has it actually made parenting easier?

In this episode, I talk with Val Boles and take a closer look at some of today’s most common parenting recommendations, from reading to your child every day and avoiding the word “no” to praising effort instead of intelligence and teaching executive functioning. We explore how research is often oversimplified, why “studies show…” doesn’t always tell the whole story, and how well-intentioned advice can sometimes leave parents feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

Rather than chasing every new parenting trend, we discuss a more grounded approach: focusing on relationships, modeling the behaviors you hope to see in your children, and remembering that good parenting is rarely about following rigid rules.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.

Parents spend a great deal of time telling their children how they hope they’ll behave. But children are often paying far more attention to what we do than to what we say.

In this episode, I talk about the leadership principles of Lead by Example, Not Decree, and Be a Positive Role Model. I discuss why children learn most effectively through observation, how everyday habits shape a child’s development, and why becoming the kind of person you hope your child will become may be one of the most powerful parenting tools available.

Whether it’s apologizing, handling failure, exercising, treating others with respect, or simply living your values, children are always watching—and they’re learning far more than we often realize.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.

If I had to choose the single most important principle of good parenting, it would be this: show up.

In this episode, I explore why a parent’s presence is one of the most powerful influences in a child’s life. Drawing on clinical experience and examples from families facing difficult challenges, I discuss attachment, role models, co-parenting, and the importance of remaining available even when children struggle.

The conversation also examines the difference between setting boundaries and giving up, and why loving a child sometimes means staying connected while allowing them to experience the consequences of their choices.  Before advice, consequences, or parenting techniques, children need something more fundamental: adults who are there when it matters most.

For related articles and resources, please visit www.directionbehavioralhealth.com.