Who Comes First: Your BFF, Your Lover, or Yourself?

In this episode of The Disappointing Friend Podcast, we dive into the messy, real-life balancing act of managing romantic relationships, platonic bonds, and personal identity.

Is it possible to be a good partner without being a bad friend? Can you love someone without losing yourself?

Juliet shares how she’s the perfect plus-one—always ready with the right outfit and good chat —but is she also a friend who shows up when it counts? Meanwhile, Fatuma opens up about the time she ditched her friends for a new boyfriend, and the fallout that followed.

We’ll explore why it’s so easy to let our closest relationships slip when we’re swept up in romance & how to reclaim your sense of self.

Whether you’re caught in the middle of a love triangle with your bestie and your partner, or just trying to figure out where you fit in, this episode is for you.

Grab your headphones — let’s get into it. 🎧

Don’t forget to rate & follow the show.

DM us your own draining friendship stories @thedisappointingfriendpodcast on Instagram 💌

OR

Submit your stories or questions to

⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠

TV friendships promised us matching outfits, deep talks, and lifelong loyalty — but real life gave us missed calls, one-cheese platters, and complicated friendship breakups.

In this episode of The Disappointing Friend, we unpack how TV shows shaped our expectations of friendship, from The Babysitters Club and Saved by the Bell to Secret Life of Us and Sex and the City. We talk about how pop culture and media myths failed to prepare our friendships life's transitions — when in reality, friendship drift and change is inevitable.

We also dive into the loneliness that can come with adulthood friendships evolving, why building community as an adult is so difficult right now, and what real connection (not just curated TV moments) looks like.

Plus: we tackle a listener dilemma about navigating friendship when someone becomes a parent — and how to stay connected when your lives move in different directions.

Whether you're grieving old friendships, surviving adult friendship breakups, or just trying to find your people after 30, this episode is for you.

🎧 Listen now to The Disappointing Friend — the podcast about the messy, magical reality of friendship.

Grab your popcorn (and at least three cheeses) — let's get into it. 🧀🎧

Don’t forget to rate & follow the show.

DM us your own draining friendship stories

@thedisappointingfriendpodcast on Instagram 💌

Have you ever left a catch-up with a friend feeling absolutely wiped? Like you need to sage your whole body or order $50 worth of KFC just to recover?

What happens when a long-term friendship becomes more exhausting than energizing?

In this episode, Fatuma tells a hilariously too-real story about explaining the concept of an “emotional drainer” to her six-year-old—which spirals into a deep, funny, and brutally honest reflection on long-term friendships, shifting dynamics, and the hard truth: maybe you’re the drainer all along.

Juliet brings those “ouch but true” insights we all need to hear and together, they unpack:

• How draining dynamics sneak into close friendships
• Emotional labor, ego, and when advice becomes control
• Why we sometimes hide our “messy” selves from old friends
• Rebuilding connection without repeating the past

Whether you’re navigating a friendship fallout or just feeling the weight of growing pains, this episode is a balm (with a side of shade).

🎧 Listen now and don’t forget to rate & follow the show. DM us your own draining friendship stories @thedisappointingfriendpodcast on Instagram 💌

Welcome to episode three of The Disappointing Friend Podcast! In today’s episode, Juliet talks to one of her first friends Laura Sabine. First meeting at kindergarten, the pair forgot about each other during their years at separate primary schools only to meet again as teenage rivals on the Melbourne Punk scene of the early 2000's.

From a debate over the theft of a slab of beer to confronting eating disorders and drug addiction, the pair sit down for a raw, funny, and emotionally honest conversation. Reflecting on 30 years of on-again-off-again friendship and what it means to show up—even when it’s messy.

⚠️ Content Warning: Discussion of eating disorders, addiction, and mental health. We know this one is tender and maybe a bit heavy at times. If it brought anything up for you, or if you're needing support, please reach out. Here are some places that can help:

• Lifeline (24/7 crisis support): 📞 13 11 14 | ⁠www.lifeline.org.au⁠
• Butterfly Foundation (Eating disorder support): 📞 1800 33 4673 | ⁠www.butterfly.org.au⁠
• Alcohol and Drug Foundation: 📞 1300 85 85 84 | ⁠www.adf.org.au⁠
• Beyond Blue (Anxiety, depression, mental health): 📞 1300 22 4636 | ⁠www.beyondblue.org.au⁠
• Qlife (LGBTQI+ peer support): 📞 1800 184 527 | ⁠www.qlife.org.auSubmit your stories or questions to ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠

Welcome to the second episode of The Disappointing Friend Podcast!

In today’s episode, we dive deep into a topic that's close to our hearts – the importance of finding your first true friend and how that connection shapes the person you become. Our host, Fatuma Ndenzako, takes us on a personal journey through her childhood, navigating the complexities of being an African migrant in Australia in the early 90s.

Fatuma reflects on the struggles of exclusion and racism, and how finding her first best friend gave her the feeling of being seen and heard for the very first time. This relationship was a turning point, helping her feel understood and supported in a way that had been missing before. She shares how this bond not only changed her childhood but also influenced the kind of friend she is today.

Through this conversation, we explore a powerful theme: how do we become the friends we are? What shapes our friendship patterns, and how do they carry through into our adult lives? When you find that one special person who truly understands you, the world feels a little more invincible, and you feel unstoppable. Fatuma’s story is a reminder of the profound impact friendship can have on our sense of self and belonging.

So, grab a cup of something warm, and join us as we reflect on the connections that define us, on this heartfelt episode of The Disappointing Friend Podcast.

Have you felt like The Disappointing Friend?

Or been chronically disappointed by a friend or friendship dynamic? SUBSCRIBE

Complicated friend story? Looking for advice? Feedback? Or just keen to share?

Let Fatuma & Juliet help you out.

Submit your stories or questions to

⁠[email protected]

In the first-ever episode of The Disappointing Friend, hosts Fatuma Ndenzako and Juliet Miranda Rowe dive into the messiness of adult friendships—why they fail, how they evolve, and what we can do to be better friends.

Get to know the co-hosts as they share their friendship origin story and the friend breakups that lead them to starting the podcast.

Expect raw honesty, laughter, and the occasional tangent as they unpack the complexities of maintaining connections in a busy world.

Have you felt like The Disappointing Friend?

Or been chronically disappointed by a friend or friendship dynamic? SUBSCRIBE

Complicated friend story? Looking for advice? Feedback? Or just keen to share?

Let Fatuma & Juliet help you out.

Submit your stories or questions to

[email protected]

or

@thedisappointingfriendpodcast on Instagram for a chance to have it discussed on-air

Introducing “The Disappointing Friend” Podcast.

Episode 1: Launching March 31st 2025

Where Melbourne Creatives Fatuma Ndenzako & Juliet Miranda Rowe try to work out whats going on with the state of platonic relationships?!

After their own individual friendship breakdowns these co-hosts are evaluating their past, breaking old habits and speaking to experts on navigating the complexities of friendship in adulthood.

Have you felt like The Disappointing Friend?

Or been chronically disappointed by a friend or friendship dynamic? SUBSCRIBE

Complicated friend story? Looking for advice? Feedback? Or just keen to share?

Let Fatuma & Juliet help you out.

Submit your stories or questions to

[email protected]

or

@thedisappointingfriendpodcast on Instagram for a chance to have it discussed on-air