When’s the last time you changed your mind? I don’t mean about what to have for breakfast but changed your mind about a deeply held belief? Its not an easy thing to do but by challenging our assumptions we can sometimes see the world more clearly.

That’s what Shemsah Farooq did by re-examining her beliefs about who she might like to marry. As a never previously married high flying professional Muslim woman she had always thought she should try to find a spouse of a similar status; but all that changed a couple of years ago on the eve of the pandemic.

As usual this is a meandering conversation with the air of two people shooting the breeze about the oddities of Muslim dating :)

Some of the topics we discuss are:

- Halal pandemic dating.

- Why people find it hard to meet and prefer to text.

- Finding a spouse without fixating on trying to find a spouse.

- Managing mismatched expectations and rejection.

- How a good healthy divorce purges bad habits, builds resilience and develops depth of character.

- Wondering if single people can cope with a divorcee.

- Why it might be in your interest to widen your search.

- The pros/cons of marrying a divorcee.

- The difference between baggage and experience.

- How to retain optimism in your search.

- And ‘Living the possibility of love’. :)

If you have any comments, feedback or suggestions pls DM me on Twitter/Insta: @moiazam

Or email me [email protected]

Enjoy!

Imran

In this episode I speak with Sarah Khan Bashir, a Muslim lawyer based in the UK. Sarah runs SKB Law; a specialist Family Law firm providing services to the Muslim and South East Asian community. Its a fascinating meandering conversation where we shoot the breeze about:

- Whether you really need to get lawyers involved when splitting up

- Why Muslims are getting divorced these days

- Intra-family marriage dynamics

- What ‘Vata Sata’ is (?!)

- Navigating the grey area between therapy and legal advice

- Balancing commercial goals vs providing a community service

Sarah was super to speak with and I hope you get something from our discussion.

Feedback welcome: [email protected]

DM: @moiazam on Tw/Insta

Last night #muzmatchisghetto was trending number 1 on UK Twitter. The tweets were commenting on a real-time discussion taking place on the audio sharing platform Clubhouse about the extreme experiences of some Muslim women using online dating services. What I heard was both shocking and saddening. This is my take...

Whilst I’ve been publishing this podcast series over the last 12 months a number of listeners have emailed me about their relationship dilemmas. In this episode we hear from ‘Naeem’; a young, educated, articulate Muslim guy from India who takes his faith seriously. He’s keen to get married and has met someone Jess fallen in love with. At the beginning things are great between them but as time goes on the cracks begin to appear. Should he try to hold it together or call it off? If you want to comment on anything you’ve heard in this episode please use #dmdad on Twitter or Instagram and we can carry on the conversation. Please remember to be respectful when offering opinion. General contact: @moiazam tw/insta or email [email protected]

I've been dating since my divorce in 2011; trying to navigate the new world of online dating whilst adhering to the tenants of my faith has been the trickiest of balancing acts. I've made a tonne of mistakes over the years meaning wasted time, money and emotional energy. Although I'm yet to find success online it hasn't made me a relationship sceptic; if anything the amazing women I've met along the way have given me hope for the future. In this episode I discuss what it was like to date after a ten year marriage, the challenges of Muslim dating, why I date non Muslim women and the best way to find a date online. Enjoy. Get in touch. Insta: @moiazam / [email protected]

It's clear that the quality of our lives is determined by the quality of our relationships. If that's the case then it makes sense to assess how we behave with people we care about; especially when they act in a way we find hurtful.

Is our reponse constructive or destructive?

Do we seek to engage and resolve or hide away?

Are we prepared to be honest, brave and vulnerable?

In this short but essential episode you'll find out how to assess your own level of emotional maturity and why embarking on the journey towards improving it makes for happier healthier relationships with our partners.

Comments/feedback/critique welcome: [email protected] or DM @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram

Good looks? Check. Great job? Check. Good Muslim? Check. Shared interests? Check. Great family? Check? Emotionaly healthy? Check. Now if you manage to find someone to marry that ticks all these boxes then you've hit the jackpot right? Well not necessarily. There's another dimension you really should consider that's absolutely crucial; spiritual compatability.

In this episode of Insights Alyas and I discuss what 'spirtual compatability' is, how it should manifest in a marriage, how it differs from religious compatability, why searching for 'a good Muslim' isn't enough and what we can do to develope our spiritual nature.

This episodes was so much fun to record. The time flew by. Always a good sign. I hope you get something from it. Comments/feedback/critique welcome: [email protected] or DM @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram

It's taken a bit longer than expected but in this episode I'm finally talking about my divorce: how we went about it, the emotional journey I've undertaken and some of the lessons I've learned. You'll also hear why I believe emotional compatibility between couples is more important than having common interests, why you're probably wasting your time looking for a soulmate and why 'til death do us part' is highly unlikely. This one's probably best listened to when you have done quiet time to yourself. Chk it out. Listen I do love hearing from you so don't by shy, get in touch here: DM Tw/Insta: @moiazam or [email protected]

Tariq is a dear friend; someone I've known for over 20 years. He married in 1996 and 16 years and 4 kids later he experienced the anguish of a painful divorce. Remarkably only 12 months later he found love again in a far away land. As someone who has been single after divorce for many years I wanted to hear first hand how he overcame the heartache and trauma and how he was able to find the capacity to love again. I thought I knew everything about Tariq's story but whilst recording this episode he opened up like never before and laid his soul bare. So much to take away from this one. If you have comments/feedback/question please do contact me here: tw/Insta @moiazam or [email protected]

A newly married couples first experience of intimacy togther is a critical moment that sets the tone for the immediate and perhaps long term future of a relationship. In this episode Alyas Karmani (imam, psychologist, sex therapist) and I speak candidly about intimacy problems Muslim couples experience, the increasing prevalence of psychosexual disfunction, the impact of pornography on sexualities health and the path to a happy sex life. It's a frank and open episode so if you're of a sensitive disposition you might want to give it a miss but I'd encourage you to 'lie back and think of England' as they say and give it a go! All jokes aside I hope by the end you feel it was a well worth 45mins of your time. As usual if you want to send any questions, comments or constructive feedback please contact me at [email protected] or @moiazam on Twitter/Instagram.