the divorcing without damage podcast

The holidays after divorce can bring unexpected emotions, difficult transitions, and the challenge of creating new traditions when life looks different than you imagined. From splitting holiday time between households to navigating family gatherings, gift-giving, birthdays, and school events, special occasions can bring added stress for both parents and children.

In this episode, Dr. Leslie Roberts shares practical advice for navigating the holidays after divorce while keeping your children's emotional well-being at the center. She discusses planning ahead, communicating with your co-parent, creating new traditions, handling holidays without your children, and navigating special events when both parents are present.

Most importantly, she reminds parents that children don't need perfect holidays. They need predictability, permission to enjoy themselves, and reassurance that both parents will be okay.

You may not be able to recreate the holidays exactly as they once were, but you can create something meaningful, safe, and special for your children.

Because it's not about winning the holiday. It's about making sure your children can enjoy it.

Divorce can leave you feeling like you have to do everything for everyone while putting your own needs last. But what if taking care of yourself isn't selfish? What if it's one of the most important things you can do for your children?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts explores why self-care matters during divorce and what it really looks like beyond bubble baths and occasional breaks. From managing stress and navigating the loneliness of an empty house to rebuilding your support system and allowing yourself to grieve, Leslie shares practical ways to care for yourself while showing up for your children.

You'll also learn about the HALT tool (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired), why being a “good enough” parent is more valuable than striving for perfection, and how small changes can help you feel more grounded during one of life's most challenging transitions.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why self-care is a part of good parenting, not a distraction from it

• Simple, realistic ways to prioritize your well-being during divorce

• Managing the emotions that come with shared custody and an empty house

• Rebuilding friendships and asking for help without guilt

• Modeling healthy boundaries and self-care for your children

• Recognizing when you need additional support

Your children don't need you to be perfect. They need you to be present, supported, and human. Start small, give yourself permission to have needs, and remember that you matter, too.

You may never badmouth your ex or ask your child to take sides, but that doesn’t always mean they’re staying out of the conflict. In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts explores triangulation and the subtle ways children get caught in the middle of their parents’ divorce.

From carrying messages and asking questions about the other household to managing a parent’s emotions, children often take on adult burdens without anyone explicitly asking them to. Dr. Roberts explains how these patterns can affect children’s emotional well-being and shares practical ways to recognize them, respond with intention, and help your child feel safe loving both parents.

You’ll learn how to:

• Recognize the subtle signs that your child may be caught in the middle.

• Avoid turning everyday conversations into loyalty tests or interrogations.

• Respond when your child shares something negative about the other parent.

• Set boundaries with extended family and new partners.

• Repair mistakes when you realize you’ve pulled your child into adult conflict.

Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need you to be steady. Learn how small changes in your words, reactions, and behavior can help your child feel free to simply be a kid.

For more tools, scripts, and support, visit childcentereddivorce.net

Description:

Teenagers going through divorce can be some of the hardest kids to read. They may withdraw, lash out, act like everything is fine, or suddenly seem responsible for everyone else’s feelings. But what’s happening beneath the surface may be very different from what you see.

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts explores how divorce affects teenagers, what their behavior may be communicating, and how parents can support them without putting them in the middle. She shares practical ways to keep communication open, balance empathy with boundaries, navigate parenting schedules as teens grow older, and help teenagers feel heard without making them responsible for adult decisions.

Most importantly, you’ll learn why teenagers don’t need you to fix everything. They need you to be steady, to make room for their feelings, and to remind them that taking care of the adults is not their job.

Because your teenager doesn’t need you to be perfect. They need you to show up as a safe, reliable parent—even when divorce makes everything feel uncertain.

🎧 Listen now on Spotify and Amazon Music.

For more tools, scripts, and support, visit childcentereddivorce.net.

Therapist, custody evaluator, guardian ad litem, parenting coordinator… What do all these professionals actually do, and how do you know which one your family might need during divorce?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts breaks down the differences between these often-confused roles, explaining what each professional does, who they serve, and when their involvement might be helpful. She also addresses the fear many parents experience when an evaluation is ordered and why it doesn't automatically mean the court thinks you're a bad parent.

You'll learn the difference between seeking support for yourself, resolving co-parenting disagreements, and getting independent professional input when serious disputes arise. Most importantly, you'll discover why these roles aren't punishments, but different tools designed to address different needs.

Because understanding the process can help you replace fear with clarity and make better decisions for yourself and your children.

🎧 Listen now and share this episode with a parent navigating the uncertainty of divorce.

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts tackles one of the biggest fears parents have during divorce: “How do I make sure this isn’t traumatic for my kids?”

The answer may not be what you think.

Leslie explains why divorce itself isn’t necessarily the source of lasting harm—and why the environment surrounding the divorce matters so much more. From chronic conflict and uncertainty to predictability, repair, and having at least one steady adult, this episode breaks down what children actually need while their family is changing.

Leslie also addresses the guilt many parents carry when they lose their patience, struggle emotionally, or worry they’re “ruining” their kids. You don’t have to be perfectly calm. You don’t have to get everything right. You do need to repair.

You’ll also learn Leslie’s “Soft Landing” framework: Predictability, Permission, and Presence—three practical ways to help your child feel secure even when life around them feels anything but.

Because you can’t give your child a divorce-free childhood. But you can help give them a childhood where the ground beneath their feet stays as steady as possible.

Divorcing Without Damage is not therapy or legal advice. It’s real talk rooted in compassion, strategy, and the belief that your mess doesn’t disqualify you—it equips you. 

Boundaries sound simple—but when you’re navigating divorce or co-parenting, actually setting and holding them can feel incredibly hard.

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts breaks down what a healthy boundary really is, why so many things we call “boundaries” are actually demands, and how guilt can make us question perfectly reasonable limits.

You’ll learn why a boundary is about what you will do—not controlling what someone else does, why over-explaining can turn a simple boundary into a 45-minute negotiation, and what to do when someone pushes back or gets angry.

Dr. Leslie also shares practical examples for setting boundaries with an ex, family members, and friends—including simple language you can actually use in real life.

Because setting a boundary doesn’t make you selfish, difficult, or the villain. Sometimes, it simply means you’re learning to stop abandoning yourself in order to keep everyone else comfortable.

You don’t need permission to have limits. You just need to practice holding them.

What if the parenting plan that feels most fair to the adults isn’t actually the best fit for the child?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts takes a closer look at one of the most important—and often overlooked—parts of divorce: the parenting plan.

As a forensic psychologist, evaluator, and child-centered divorce coach, Leslie has seen countless parenting plans built around equal time, equal holidays, and what feels fair between two parents. But she challenges us to consider a different question: What does this particular child actually need?

From the popular 50/50 week-on, week-off schedule to the developmental needs of toddlers, young children, tweens, and teenagers, Leslie explains why there is no one-size-fits-all parenting plan. Age, temperament, distance between homes, school schedules, activities, and each parent’s real-world capacity all matter.

She also explains why a parenting plan shouldn't be treated as something that is signed once and defended forever. Kids grow. Their needs change. Families change. A plan that works beautifully at five may not make sense at twelve or sixteen.

Most importantly, Leslie shares three child-first questions every parent should ask when creating or revisiting a parenting plan:

1. What does my child need right now, developmentally?
2. What is actually sustainable for both households?
3. How will we know when the plan stops working—and how will we revisit it?

Because a parenting plan isn't just a peace treaty between two adults. It's the framework your child is going to live inside.

Your child didn't choose the divorce. The very least the parenting plan can do is be built around them.

Find more tools, scripts, and support at childcentereddivorce.net.

What if the healthiest way to parent after divorce is actually having less contact with your ex?

For many divorced parents, the idea of “successful co-parenting” comes with an expectation that you should be friendly, flexible, and able to communicate easily. But what happens when every conversation turns into conflict, every schedule change reopens old wounds, and your kids can feel the tension during every exchange?

In this episode of Divorcing Without Damage, Dr. Leslie Roberts breaks down the difference between collaborative co-parenting and parallel parenting—and why parallel parenting is not a failure.

You'll learn:

• What parallel parenting actually is

• How it differs from traditional co-parenting

• Why less contact can sometimes create more peace

• How to recognize which parenting model may fit your family

• What parallel parenting is—and what it is not

• Why calm, predictable homes matter more than having a friendly relationship with your co-parent

There is no trophy for having the friendliest co-parenting relationship. The real goal is calmer kids, predictable transitions, and homes where everyone’s nervous system has a chance to breathe.

Sometimes, the wiser choice isn't learning how to communicate more.

It's learning how to structure communication better.

What do you actually say to your kids when you’re getting divorced? The answer depends on their age—and getting it right matters.

In this episode, Leslie breaks down how to talk to children about divorce from the toddler years through adulthood. She explains what young children need to hear, how school-aged kids process divorce, why tweens need honesty without feeling managed, and how to give teenagers more truth without turning them into confidants.

You’ll learn:

• What toddlers and preschoolers actually need to know
• Why young children often blame themselves for the divorce
• How to use concrete information and calendars to create security
• How much “why” to share with school-aged children
• Why tweens need honesty without blame or oversharing
• The critical difference between teenagers being able to understand something and being an appropriate audience for it
• What to do if you've already told your child too much
• Why one imperfect conversation doesn't determine your child's outcome
• The three things every child needs: Be concrete. Be consistent. Be repeatable.

You don't need one perfect speech. You need an ongoing, honest, age-appropriate relationship with each of your children.

Because when it comes to divorce, give your child the truth they are ready to carry—not the truth you need to tell.