Confidence Hack #84: Happiness is fleeting. Happiness is circumstantial.

The number one answer when people are asked, ‘What do you want out of life?’ Happiness. Now, I won’t go on one of those rants that tells you to live with joy instead of happiness. Potato, pototo.

But here is the truth that I am going to hit you with: You will never fully 100% love what you do. There will always be something in your job that irks you—a coworker, your boss, the project you are currently working on, not being appreciated as much as you think you should be, the hours you work, a red-eye flight that you swore you would stop taking once you turned 40.

Let me introduce you to Miguel. You will probably never meet the Miguel I’m talking about, and to be quite honest, I don’t even know his last name. He is a janitor at an apartment complex in Marina del Rey, California. He cleans, sweeps, takes out other people’s trash every morning, and cleans up dog droppings. Not your ideal dream job, is it?

But every morning, Miguel is whistling a tune with a giant smile on his face.

I asked Miguel one day, ‘Do you love being a janitor?’ He paused, smiled, and said, ‘No, I don’t. But I love serving others and this is the platform God has given me to do so.’

Gain confidence today, knowing that if you are in the ‘pursuit of happiness’ to love every moment of your job, you should stop. It’s a mirage that you won’t be able to obtain. 

Even if you aren’t happy at your job, or a portion of it, ask yourself today, ‘How can I embrace my inner Miguel?’

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Confidence Hack #83: Life without stress is not a life you want to live.

According to the American Psychological Association, as of 2022, 76% of Americans admit to being overly stressed out. If I had a nickel for every time I heard someone say, ‘I can’t wait until I am able to retire…’ 

Yeah, and do what? Go sit on a beach in Florida and die 8.6 years sooner than you would if you were stimulating your brain?

Let me introduce you to what will become your new favorite term: healthy stress. New research from UC Berkeley has uncovered exactly how acute stress—short-lived, not chronic—primes the brain for improved performance. Intermittent stress has been shown to increase neurons in the hippocampus, which are responsible for improved memory, adaptability, increased focus, and overall higher performance.

If you have too much of it on the left side (let’s call this side the bad stress), it will dominate your life, and you will be in constant fight or flight mode.  If you do have not enough of it on the left side and the right side skyrockets to the top (let’s call this side the ‘sitting on the beach doing nothing in Florida' side), your brain will become unstimulated, and you will be more likely to fall into the category of ‘death by retirement.’

The confidence boost today comes from understanding that stress is not necessarily a bad thing, and when used correctly, it can actually be a net gain.

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Confidence Hack #82: The ability to self-educate has never been easier!

Sorry scholars who took years and years to develop those books, the new go-to is pursing a doctorate in the education of YouTube. The question you should be asking right now is not, ‘What can you learn on YouTube?’ The question you need to be asking yourself is instead, ‘What can’t you learn on YouTube?’

A 2018 Pew Research Study found that 85% of Generation Z prefer YouTube as an education over reading books. The same study found that 51% of those viewers were actually on YouTube to learn.

One of the highest-paid YouTubers is Jeffree Star. Star is a YouTuber who focuses on beauty, makeup, and cosmetics. In 2019, Star made $17 million from YouTube alone, making him the fifth highest-paid YouTuber of that year. 

Do you know where Star crafted and sharpened his ability? Through watching YouTube videos. There is no longer any excuse for ‘not being educated.’

Gain confidence today knowing that a high-level education and potentially a career making $17 million a year as a YouTube expert are yours for the taking!

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Confidence Hack #81: Ummmm.... uh...these hurt how people perceive you!

Once you start listening for it when in conversation with others, you can’t unhear it. 

Humans use these spacers not because it makes them sound more intelligent; it’s because most people are ‘afraid of the pause.’

If you listen to some of the best speakers of all time, such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., John Maxwell, and Mel Robbins, you will find they often pause while speaking, even to the point where it feels uncomfortable for the listener. I have had to work on this skill as a professional motivational speaker. And trust me, it’s not easy at first.

It’s all about what happens in that open space. If it is filled with nonsensical fillers like ‘uh and um,’ you will lower your perception of your intelligence. If it is filled with silence, you will increase your perception of your intelligence.

Gain confidence today, knowing that the silent pause is something to embrace, not to run from. Try it today in conversation. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but I promise you if you stick with it, you will learn to love the pause.

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Confidence Hack #80: Hard work and quick thinking can change your life!

You probably recognize Wolfgang Puck. But do you know how his name became synonymous with Michelin-star restaurant quality?

The kitchen was out of bread. That’s how he created his world-famous pizza, out of pure necessity.

He trusted his intuition, and he life-improved.

That’s why it’s called ‘thinking on your feet.’ You aren’t faced with these difficult decisions when you are sitting down in your favorite pondering chair. You are faced with them in real-time, on your feet. 

Today’s confidence boost comes from improving when you don’t know what to do instead of conceding. You are an expert in your field and in yourself. Trust your skills and intuition; maybe you’ll make the next smoked salmon pizza.

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Confidence Hack #79: Enthusiasm, the trait no one wants less of!

I mean, think about it: the difference between getting a coffee and the person making your coffee couldn’t care less about your cup of joe vs. the person who tells you about the origin of the coffee bean itself and that it was roasted high in the mountains of Columbia at 7,000 ft elevation.

That is the difference in enthusiasm. Now, I’m not saying to fake enthusiasm. But, the awareness of it is vital.

Here are 5 ways to start infusing more enthusiasm into your life today:

1. Eliminate your time around toxic people
2. Take a risk
3. Smile
4. Create a ‘complaining jar’
5. Do something creative daily

Today’s confidence boost comes through implementing one (or ideally all five) of these enthusiasm ignitors to your day. Eventually, the more you focus on these five enthusiastic boosters, the more it will become a way of life—a life filled with infectious enthusiasm.

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Confidence Hack #78: According to DataReportal, as of 2023, the average American spends 6 hours and 59 minutes on a screen. Per day!

If you are into health and wellness, then I’m sure you’ve heard of Intermittent Fasting. It’s a trendy way to lose weight based on compressing the time window for eating. Usually, the eating hours are open from noon to 8pm or even as small as 2pm to 6pm. 

The concept builds parameters so the person reaching for the donut at 7am (and 8am) won’t. Today, you and I will make the term’ Intermittent Screen Time Fasting’ a thing together.

Why isn’t it easy for everyone to turn off their phone and put the screen down? Nomophobia. There is actually a phobia, which describes the fear of being without a phone.

In a study done by Psychology Today - they found that just by putting down the phone for an hour each day improves:

Sleep Quality 

Sex life

Energy throughout the day

Ability to get out of bed faster the next morning

Lower depression rates

The confidence boost today comes from right here, right now, setting up the hour window (just like intermittent food fasting) that you are going to be on your phone. 

Once you commit to a time window, that’s what you are sticking to. Try it for a week, and if you like it (which I have an excellent feeling you will), make it a daily habit.

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Confidence Hack #77: The true stories of those who survived 9/11 due to schedule interruptions.

I’m sure we all have, but try to remember a time recently when you got so frustrated over the slightest mishap in your schedule. Let me introduce you to the ‘unknown near-miss experiences.’

September 11th, 2001, is a day that will live in infamy in United States history. Everyone who was alive can remember precisely where they were on that day.

A woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off on time. 

Another man survived because it was his turn to bring donuts to the office. 

Someone else was delayed due to being stuck in a long traffic jam on the New Jersey Turnpike. 

One person’s car simply wouldn’t start. 

That morning, a man wore a brand new pair of shoes, got a blister, and had to stop at a pharmacy for a plaster.

Those are all true stories of people who unknowingly avoided death. I doubt they look at the minor annoyances of their days the same way most people do. They know they are on borrowed time.

And that’s the thing: we are all on borrowed time.

Today’s confidence boost comes from taking a minute to think about the truth—there have been many situations where we could have very easily expired, but we didn’t. And that alone can give us a new sense of joy and perspective. 

Gain confidence knowing that God is protecting you even from the things you don’t know and even when they might seem like burdens at the moment. Burdens can be blessings in disguise.

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Confidence Hack #76: Writing is better than typing.

All right, self admittance here. I have horrible handwriting. Not just bad, really bad. Be it as it may, I march on. There is absolute power in the brain and pen connection.

Your memory of handwritten words is tied to the movements required to make each letter. When you write by hand, your brain actually gets an encoding boost.

It’s unclear how much more powerful writing is than typing, but experts have estimated it can be up to 5x more powerful. Writing vs. only auditorily hearing the information can be up to 20 times more powerful in retention.

Today’s confidence boost comes from committing to journal daily - either in the morning or evening. And bonus points if you carry a notebook around with you where you go. Some of the smartest people and best leaders I have been around do this. Erik Spoelstra, head coach of the Miami Heat and one of the top coaches in all of North American sports history, brings a notebook to every dinner meeting we have and avidly takes notes. If the best of the best do it, we may, too!

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Confidence Hack #75: Students read books they are interested in.

Do you remember reading George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’ in 6th grade and having no clue what it was about, literally checking out after hearing the pig talks? I have nothing against Orwell; he’s one of my favorite authors of all time, and he’s brilliant. But in sixth grade?? Come on, school systems.

Finland has scored as the top education system throughout the 2000s. Why is this?

A multitude of reasons ranging from:

• Students stay with the same teacher for multiple years
• Outside activities are mandatory 
• No standardized testing 
• Cooperation with, not competition against 
• Fewer hours of the day actually ‘in school’

Among many others, the most telling reason is allowing students to read books they are interested in. It’s like anything: if you force someone to do something they don’t enjoy or understand, there will be no benefit.

Today, the confidence boost comes from embracing reading what you enjoy! It doesn’t have to be the headiest novel written in 10th-century English, and please, parents and teachers, don’t force kids to read something they despise and can’t comprehend. Read for enjoyment, and the increased fun of learning will follow!

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