Freddie Mercury. The Monopoly Guy. Josef Stalin. The dude off the Pringles tube. Sgt. Pepper Era Harrison. Magnum PI. Tommy Turner. All moustachioed and, to date, it remains the case that none have appeared on The Dogger Saints Podcast. We came close with the latter but, alas, no cigar. Fear not though, my dear friends, because your good buddies Sam and Dan still have new worlds of fun for you, in Episode 57 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

We have all the skinny following Saints’s 1-1 draw in West Lothian over the weekend, including the smallest man in the world scoring a header, Callum Davidson being weird, and a meeting of two #GoodFootballMen prior to the game, and also assess matters going forward with a play-off next weekend all but confirmed with a lovely big helping right boot from our old mate Chucky Adam.

Features? Baby, you better believe we have them, and two favourites to boot as we return to the Club Shop of Shame for the crossover of soft furnishings and third rate European Football Competitions that nobody asked for, and we also go house hunting in this weeks trip to see George in The Royal.

The cinch marches on at pace, and if the ghost guest was a disappointment to you, then fear not as we catch up with our lovely pals from the ABZ Football Podcast, for what was meant to be a look ahead to Wednesday’s game at McDiarmid, before we quickly realised it was way more fun to descend into utter chaos and rant about our football clubs and discuss famous people trying to pinch Sam’s wife away from him.

Sam Miller enjoying a celebrity demise! Danny Williams hypocrisy over someone’s mouth being in front of their brain! The ballad of Mrs Begg! With all this, plus a look ahead to our final game of the season at Hibs and a quick look forward to the play-offs, was away your Monday blues and come and have a rare old time with the boys. Get there!

“And now for something completely different”. Not our words pals, the words of comedy funsters Monty Python. So join Sam and Dan (and Struan, Joshua, Mav, Alan, Callum and Stuart) for Episode 56 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

Yep, we’re doing a phone in. So once Dan gets Saturday off his chest, we open the hotline and let our guests take it away - Callum In or Callum Out? Who’s to blame? Will we survive? It’s all laid out on the line.

We do know you love a feature though, as do we, so we have a belter of an O’Boyle to prove that even football legends can fall pray to the same delicious traps as us all.

Fashion with Sam Miller! Automobiles with Danny Williams! Bribery with Apple Pies! We’ve got it all, so let’s get right stuck into it all, and join us for a damn cathartic time. Get there!

“And now for something completely different”. Not our words pals, the words of comedy funsters Monty Python. So join Sam and Dan (and Struan, Joshua, Mav, Alan, Callum and Stuart) for Episode 56 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

Yep, we’re doing a phone in. So once Dan gets Saturday off his chest, we open the hotline and let our guests take it away - Callum In or Callum Out? Who’s to blame? Will we survive? It’s all laid out on the line.

We do know you love a feature though, as do we, so we have a belter of an O’Boyle to prove that even football legends can fall pray to the same delicious traps as us all.

Fashion with Sam Miller! Automobiles with Danny Williams! Bribery with Apple Pies! We’ve got it all, so let’s get right stuck into it all, and join us for a damn cathartic time. Get there!

“Hello and welcome to our brand new game show, ‘How Divorced is Mark McGhee?’ A very simple premise, where contestants run through the myriad of ways a man, clearly desperate for the attention his wife no longer gives him since she ran off with the milkman, gets the attention he craves!” Winner, right? Well it will always be the dream, but for now join your old pals Sam and Dan for Episode 55 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

Join us as we go through all the action of the 20 minutes of decent football we played on Saturday in the midst of the great Perth migration through the Carse of Gowrie, and try to assess whether this was an opportunity missed or a pragmatic point.

We also chat to Saints hero and 90s mainstay, Saints hero, absolute gent and the fastest man in Hull Leigh Jenkinson about upping sticks to Perth, Luggy, Stranraer, why Hearts are shite, the Rumbelows sprint challenge, and much more in a fantastic chat with the most Yorkshire man of all time.

Features? Features you say? Well you’re in luck, because we’ve got loads! Wholesome Content Corner makes a long overdue return, we return to the Royal to pop in on George (O’Boyle, not Michael) and head over to the Emerald Isle for a Club Shop of Shame that boiled Miller’s piss.

Sam’s escapades with Steve Beaton! Dan commits sacrilege against Henry Hall! Rylan loves the fitba! We have, somehow, got it all, and with a look ahead to our next cinchy outing against St. Mirren, you really don’t want to miss this like Mark McGhee misses his wife. Get there!

“Alone here in the kitchen, I feel there’s something missing, I’d beg for some forgiveness, but begging’s not my business.” Do you feel there’s something missing in your kitchen, in a similar fashion to 70s and 80s Hit Parade botherers Squeeze? Well, Sam and Dan might be able to help you out with just that, but we don’t want to give too much away, you’ll just have to find out by listening to Episode 54 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

It’s what a former Saints centre-forward who didn’t do much else once described as squeaky bum time, so we have all the build-up to Saints’ crouch tie away at Dens Park, as #PostSplitMadness begins with the archetypal six-pointer against Dundee.

Whilst the gents had a week off because of that fucking Kelty game, there was of course a Saints game on over the weekend, and we go over all the action from Sunday’s 2-0 victory for Saints Women over Stirling University in the final home game of the season at the Riverside.

Features, is it? Features you want? Well you’re in pure luck, because we have a couple of belters for you, as this weeks Kits and Pieces sees us review a lesser spotted Saints third kit from the Taylor Wimpey era, and we head over to The Kingdom for a Club Shop of Shame that started as a culinary expedition and swiftly descended into soccer musicality.

For this weeks headline act, we are absolutely delighted to be joined by bona fide St. Johnstone legend, Hall of Fame member, and all-round top man Jim Morton, as he joins us for one of our favourite ever interviews to discuss his time at Saints, his views on the game, Australia, Henry Hall and much more. We loved this one, and really hope you do too.

Mathematics with Sam Miller! Sexy Danny Williams! Shakira vs Rachel Stevens! It’s all going off, so pull up a chair, stick your feet up, and join us for a damn good time. Get there!

Hey! How are you guys doing? We hope you’re well. Certainly better than Bruce Forsyth, who isn’t doing very well, because he’s dead. However, old Brucie loved a bonus so he did, and we do too, so join us for The Dogger Saints Podcast: The Lock-In 3!

This Lock-In (or as Dan, wrongly, kept calling it a ‘Lockdown’) comes to you from Perth Theatre, and more specifically the workshop we were kindly asked to hold in support of the upcoming ‘Oh When The Saints Go Marching In Play’.

A little bit different for us, but if you fancy some live features, Dan dropping a mic, and us catching up with our old friend Katie, the shows co-director Martin and Saints fanatic Gordon, the you might just enjoy this. Get there!

Saints play in blue,

Melker makes knees weak,

Who the hell is behind

The Saints transfer leak?

It’s Monday! Saints lost! You know what that means, it means it’s time for you to put your feet up and listen to us not talk about football on Episode 53 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

Saints played Celtic at the weekend, and in the words of popular moron Forrest Gump, that’s all I’ve got to say about that. But we have got some other stuff to talk about, including a chat with the First Lady of St. Johnstone Bev Mayer, as we talk to her about her role at the club, superstitions, and a certain day back in May 2014.

Features but? Baby, we’ve got them all! We have a Kits and Pieces wi thy a ringing celebrity endorsement for a classic Saints third kit (it’s Teal and Magenta), a Saints goal machine is spotted down Wembley Way on this weeks trip to The Royal, and we once again hit Glasgow for what can only be described as commemorative undergarments.

Saints Leaks! Drama at the mill as we have all the skinny on a mysterious forum post, seemingly giving an insight to transfer goings on at the club. We also look forward to what all the kids (Dan) are calling #PostSplitMadness, as the fixtures for the relegation run-in are announced.

Time Zones with Sam Miller! Danny Williams v Jim Spence - The Battle of the Barnets! You lot being bloody lovely and generous! We have it all, so grab yourself a tea, coffee or mojito and have yourself a fine time with your all time favourite gang. Get there!

Had a couple of quiet weeks, have you? Been enjoying the football without two gobshites wittering on about it on a Monday, yeah? Not even thought about pool cleaning robots, is it? Well get ready for all that to change, because guess what? We’re back! So pull up a pew, and have a damn fine by joining Sam and Dan for Episode 52 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

Oh baby, it feels so good to be back, and we even have a win to talk about, as Saints just about kept there hopes of automatic survival alive with a....scrappy, we’ll say scrappy, 1-0 home victory over Livingston at the weekend - and we even get a Livi fan on to discuss matters with, as our good pal Liam Innes of the Almondview Podcast collects his hat-trick ball for a third appearance on the pod.

We also catch up with this weeks Headline Act, as we chat to the brilliant Steve Bright, creator of Super Saint to discuss his love for the boys in blue, Bananaman, his career in comics and much, much more in one of our favourite ever interviews.

But let’s face it, we know what you’ve really missed...features by the bucket load! We’ve got a couple of belters for you, as we discuss a culinary disaster of a kit from 2018/19 and have the return of Club Shop of Shame, which proves once and for all that winning Old Firm games and running away with leagues in no way qualifies you to provide kitchen appliances.

Sam’s sexual power hour! Dan’s giant sack! Papa Miller’s pie eating escapades! Somehow, we’ve got it all, in addition to a look ahead to the Celtic game and a run-down of our charitable fundraising efforts - including how you can get involved and give yourself a chance to win our most elaborate ever bundle. We love you all, and it’s good to be back. Get yourselves so far there!

“Jason Kerr, the captain with the header, it’s Rooney! Oh he’s done it again!” Remember that? Remember a year ago when we were good? Pepperidge Farm remembers, and so do your pals Sam and Dan, so forget about life for a while and come and enjoy your favourite rambling nonsense, with Episode 51 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

We discuss Saints’s capitulation away in Dingwall on Saturday, and dissect whether this is the end of the road in terms of staying up without the glorious patter of a play-off, but also pay tribute to the FCU’s incredible new ditty for the man we will dub ‘Lady GoalsGoals’, Callum Hendry. We also look back on happier times, because why the fuck not, as we celebrate the first anniversary of the first of Saints’s two steps to Hampden Heaven last season in the form of the delicious Betfred.

But we know what you really want, what you really really want, and that’s features but the bucket load, as we meet up with the Whoremeister General in The Royal, have a bloody lovely old time discussing our various failings as human beings in a Tartan Special Kits and Pieces, and talk about a robot.

For this weeks Headline Act, we are delighted to welcome former-MSP, head honcho of Scottish Women’s football, and all round terrific egg Aileen Campbell to discuss the women’s game, the Saints and everything in between. We are also delighted to chat to top fella Andy from the This Is Ibrox podcast, as we look forward to crunch ties this week at home to the reigning Champions and away to Hibs.

Sam Miller v Agia Napa nightclub scene! Danny Williams v His Own Sense of Decency! Everyone v The Dogger Saints because we like El Paz! It’s an absolute tear-up, but we love you anyway, so live la vida and come and have a rare old time with the groovy gang. Get there!

For Wee Max 💙💛

“Step back, don’t try to kiss me, right about now I’m 50/50”. Not out words, pals, but the words of popular hit maker Lemar. You know what, 50 is a pretty magic and baffling number for us this week, so please, why not come and join us for Episode 50 of The Dogger Saints Podcast!

For once, you might actually enjoy listening to us talk about football, as the Saints picked up four points in a week, so we discuss all the action from our trip up to Aberdeen and glorious home victory over high flying Hearts.

We also tackle all the big issues, and don’t tell us we shy away from them, as we take a deep delve into pies and also look at whether Blue Shorts could be the key to avoiding the trap door to the Championcinch.

But it wouldn’t be our big bash without a barrel-load of features, and we’ve got them all as Sam and Dan put aside a domestic in order to have a celebratory trip to see George in The Royal, Dave comes on to try and work out just who the bloody hell Wendy is, and we delve to places unknown in this weeks Club Shop of Shame.

Dan conveniently forgets the 2003 UEFA Cup Final! Sam’s Chicken Tonight based memories of childhood! Brian Clough shithousing superstition! We’ve got it all, and much more including a look forward to our trip to Dingwall at the weekend. Maybe Dan will fall down a hill again, who knows?! Thank you all so much for getting us to Episode 50, and we’d love it if you came and joined us for it. Get there!