Some of you know me as a teacher & researcher, others as a tour leader or as a blogger and now pod-caster, but I am also a cancer survivor and as today is international cancer survivor’s day I wanted to do a short episode that I have had in the back of my mind for a couple of years…
So now that I am a whole 32cm from my chemo coiffure, I thought it was time to have a chat. About the hats.
Over the last few years a number of people have asked me if there is some sort of gift that would be of comfort to friends or family members going through cancer treatment and most of them have been surprised when I have answered “anything but a hat or bandanna!”. So I thought it might be useful to explain this based on my own experience and what I learned chatting with other patients in the chemo ward.
Now, to be clear, I get it, a hat seems like the most obvious thing to make…I mean there is an obvious vulnerability that we see in chemo patients, when they lose their hair it is a natural impulse to want to wrap them up and protect them and that is generally in the form of a hat.
But it is a little more complicated than that. It is incredibly confronting when all of your hair falls out because you are sick. There is a sense of loss of control over you own life which can be exacerbated by others trying to dress you. The thing about hair-loss is that it is a very visible, public sign of the illness the patient is experiencing and how they choose to deal with that is extremely personal.
Some patients are happy to channel their inner Yul Brunner or Sinead O’Connor while others have special wigs fitted so no one need know what they are going through…then in-between there are many types of hats, scarves and bandannas which patients can choose from depending on their personal style.
The problem with gifting hats is that it takes that control out of the patients hands at a time that they need to hang on to any small choices that they can – hats also sit differently when you don’t have any hair and it is tricky to find the right one, I personally got through with my husband’s collection of plain black beanies which were discreet and perfect.
The other tricky thing is that sometimes in an attempt to cheer the patient up people get a bit carried away with their hat creations or choices using bright colours, quirky patterns or giant flowers which just draw more attention to the fact that they have lost their hair and can leave them feeling that they are somewhere between being in fancy dress or maybe even a bit like a teapot.
So in the interests of sparing everyone an embarrassing experience I thought it might be useful to make some suggestions of alternative handmade gifts which can show your loved one that you are there for them at this difficult time, and you can tune in to hear them or read all about it over on the blog: https://www.textilesupport.net/single-post/2019/06/02/HugsnotHats
Teacosy by: Cherie Hingee
Music: "Survivor" by Destiny's Child