The Easy School of Hard Knocks

George Carlin's wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic George Carlin - the crude, oft-controversial comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent and so very appropriate.

An observation by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.

An excerpt from Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, the eminent psychologist who was interred in the Auschwitz concentration camp during WWII.

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Recently, the wife of the superintendent of the district where my son attends school was in hot water because of a rather foolish post she made on social media that insulted President Trump.

I discuss the incident, and why Trump, although he has said far more outrageous and inappropriate things, is superior to this poor lady.

It's all about control, i.e. of your emotions and your words. Trump is calculating with his words, which often appear to be ridiculous, knowing he'll get a strong reaction, be it positive or negative.

This woman, a no-name wife of a small school district superintendent was the reaction.

Alice hails a taxi.

Bob pulls over.

Alice gets in.

Bob asks, “Where to?”

Alice hands Bob a piece of paper.

Bob glances at it. It’s a list of directions:

“Turn left at the corner, turn right at the second light, stay left at the fork...” and so on.

It doesn’t say the destination.

Just step-by-step instructions.

It’s a long list.

Bob isn’t sure where they lead.

Three Scenarios:

1. Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. Bob doesn’t bother to ask where she is headed. He just takes the directions and follows them. They get to the end of the instructions, but Alice is not where she expected to be. She gets panicky and starts ordering Bob to do things like, “drive around the block” or “try the next street over”. Bob complies silently. Meanwhile, the meter is tick tick ticking away. Alice is getting more and more agitated. She’s now running late and her fare is ballooning. Bob has done exactly as instructed, but Alice is increasingly dissatisfied. They eventually find her destination. Alice begrudgingly pays $120 for the ride. Alice gets out of the cab and Bob drives away.

2. Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. When she hands them to Bob, he asks, “Where are these supposed to take us?” Alice says “123 Main Street.” Bob says, “These directions are out of date. There’s construction on this route and terrible traffic this time of day. I know a shortcut that will get us there in half the time.” Alice fears Bob is trying to scam her and she tells him so. Bob asks, “How much were you expecting the ride to be?” Alice says, “About $100.” Bob says, “I’ll get you there my way for $75. Deal?” Alice agrees. Bob gets her to the destination quickly and without incident. Alice pays the $75 fare and gets out of the cab. Bob drives away.

3. Alice doesn’t know her way around very well. She found the directions on some website. When she hands them to Bob, he asks “Where are these supposed to take us?” Alice says “123 Main Street.” Bob asks, “Why do you want to go there?” Alice says, “It’s a flower shop. I need to pick up a dozen roses.” Bob says, “That shop is closed today.” Alice asks, “How do you know for sure?” Bob says, “Because it’s my shop. I drive a cab on my day off.” Bob continues, “As luck would have it, I’ve got a dozen roses in the trunk. I’ll sell them you for $60. Deal?” They both get out of the cab, having driven nowhere. Alice gladly pays Bob $60 for the roses. Bob gets back in the cab and drives away.

Three Outcomes:

1. Alice spent 60 minutes in a cab and is now standing in front of a closed flower shop. She has spent $120, is late for her next appointment, and still needs to figure out where she’s going to get a dozen roses. Alice is angry. Bob has driven his car down half the blind alleys in the area, endured an insulting amount of micromanagement, and been brow-beaten by a disgruntled customer for a full hour. For this, he grossed $120 from which he must deduct his time, gas, and wear and tear on both the vehicle and his emotional well being. Bob is dejected.

2. Alice spent 45 minutes in a cab and is now standing in front of a closed flower shop. She has spent $75 and but still needs to figure out where she’s going to get a dozen roses. Alice is satisfied by the cab ride specifically, but is distressed overall. Bob minimized his costs (e.g., time, gas, mileage, stress) and is enjoying the small rush of pride that comes from a job well done. Bob grossed $75, which is significantly less revenue than the $120 in scenario 1, but arguably more profitable because his costs were dramatically lower. Bob is energized.

3. Alice hasn’t had to travel anywhere. She has spent $60, is early for her next appointment, and is holding a dozen roses. Alice is delighted. Bob has eliminated his costs completely, sold a dozen roses for triple what he paid for them, and has delighted a...

Bill Galvin of the Center on Conscience and War joined me on a Skype call to discuss the modern conscientious objector, how the Center on Conscience and War helps those who identify as conscientious objectors lawfully be released from their enlistments or commissions, and several stories of people who have "hit a point of no return" and simply could not reconcile their views with their military service.

Learn more about the Center on Conscience and War.

It wasn't because he couldn't play football, that's for sure.

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