My guest in the third episode of the podcast is Sharif Rangnekar author of ‘Straight to Normal’ my life as a gay man. He is the festival director of ‘The Rainbow Literature festival’ and he curates, ‘Embrace music justice arts’ platform. Sharif is a TEDx speaker,  a former President of the PRCAI and former board member of global communications forum ICCO. He is a communications and workplace sensitisation consultant and an advocate for the LGBTQ community in India

During the episode we delve into his journey as a 52 year old gay man, how writing the book ‘Straight to Normal’ helped him to claim his identity but left him feeling angry at the loss of near a lifetime looking for love and companionship. 

Some of the topics covered in the podcast are:

👉🏾 His personal identity and its influence on his personal & professional journey

👉🏾 Straight to Normal - my life as a gay man

👉🏾 Queer & Inclusion subtext vs Diversity & Inclusion 

👉🏾 The Second Innings; The Rainbow Literature Festival; Embrace Music Justice Arts; the future

👉🏾 Corporate India and the LGBTQ community. How young people in India are pushing     boundaries and the envelope

👉🏾 Impact of COVID-19 on the community in India

👉🏾 Progress and finding common ground

Excerpts from the conversation:

👉🏾 Well, I actually had first thought of writing a book in 2013 and it came with a lot of anger. And even prior to that, I think in 2006-07 or 08, I was sitting at the telephone bar in Bangkok. And I wrote a very angry, what I thought would be an introduction to a book. But there was no way that I could have written the book unless I quit my job. Later on in 2013 the question was whether it would be fiction or nonfiction and we tried fiction. We had a lot of fun meetings but somehow I couldn't fictionalise my story. And maybe deep down, I didn't want to deliver fiction. And so I did have a contract with Rupa Books(http://rupapublications.co.in/) in 2013, but by the time December came and the court order came, there was a complete reversal of things. We were recriminalised not as a community per se of being gay, but the sexual act. And there was also fear within me what impact could this book have on my family?

👉🏾 But, strangely I was very angry after I finished writing the book. I think at that moment, I made sense of so many things about life, and towards the end of the book, there is a conversation with one of the first few friends I made in the gay community back in 1999. And he said something that literally encapsulated so many things for a whole generation. That we spent so much of our life just trying to be ourselves find our identity or find ourselves that there was no time from love. To find people, to find a partner was so tough and you would find someone with the only common ground of sexuality and no relationship revolves only around sexuality. Even today, when I talk to a lot of young activists and young people who are coming out, that search is not easy for them either. And today with more awareness of the community, there's also more pushback from people who don't like the idea of us getting space. So, I think that is what may have angered me troubled me.

👉🏾 But it really is, how do you deal with this talent pool which is, seeking jobs. A large number of people particularly from urban parts they don't like labels, they like fluidity. They work differently, think differently. So I think, they are a lot, which will not like to be in a confined kind of space and that may have explain as to why a lot of protests in the last few years, over different issues of rights, came from younger lot. So their idea of identity, rights, fluidity, liking, loving, disliking, hating being woke or being nuanced is really entirely their choice. They don't want it to be imposed on them. I think the corporate world is recognising that so I think, which is why D&I is also becoming very important. 

👉🏾 It sounds clichéd but you have to have hope. You have to recognise the fact that you have many more community groups out there who you could reach out to. A lot of them are digital, available, accessible where you will feel that your thoughts resonate with those people out there. I think we also need to realise that we can't lose patience. There are many of us from the community who have started with the new words, which we use and we are learning. And I think the problem arises when we refuse to learn. So I think we need to be a little more nuanced, we need to shout out when we have to, we need to negotiate spaces and places, because we cannot afford to constantly have conflict over everything.

👉🏾 We should be what Dylan said, you know, ‘The times they are a changing’ and if you can't lend a hand, just move out. It's a lot of us in this battle, but we need to identify certain battles where Dalit lives matter, where caste issues matter, where colour issues and racism matters, where privilege cannot be for one, it has to be inclusive. Access has to be inclusive. It cannot be for one, and we can’t wear our blinkers. And, you know, I cannot sit in South Delhi and decide this is how life should be and everyone should listen to Dylan’s records. No, It can’t be like that. 

Sharif Rangnekar social platforms:

- Sharif D Rangnekar (FB)

- sharif_rangnekar (Instagram)

- @gottaservesome (twitter

Useful Links

https://rainbowliteraturefestival.com/

https://sharifdrangnekar.com/embrace/

https://www.asianage.com/life/art/181120/one-of-a-kind-a-humdinger-of-an-lgbt-arts-fest.html

https://www.thehindu.com/books/queer-eye-for-the-lit-club-at-rainbow-literature-festival/article33140742.ece

https://www.hindustantimes.com/books/review-straight-to-normal-by-sharif-d-rangnekar/story-DbVg9xPNMiDquRhZjlNzaJ.html

https://rainbowliteraturefestival.com/

https://www.indulgexpress.com/culture/theatre/2020/mar/06/avatari-devi-who-is-inspired-by-the-laundas-of-bihar-looks-at-gender-politics-in-her-debut-show-22835.html

https://devdutt.com/

https://www.hindustantimes.com/bollywood/apurva-asrani-purchases-house-with-partner-siddhant-says-for-13-years-we-pretended-to-be-cousins/story-SiT31crBC0dY9ofaJvLJXM.html

My guest on today's show is Clare Parsons Co-Founder of Lansons and Fellow CIPR.

In the podcast Clare speaks about her background, her journey into communications, setting up Lansons and being a values/purpose driven business. Some of the other topics covered in the podcast are:

Purpose and business in a Post COVID/BLM 

How BLM has impacted her view of the world, the industry and generally lives

On creating a more inclusive industry, collaboration, learning from best practice

Role of PR practitioners in today’s world

The glass ceiling and on being UK’s Top 25 Best Places to work for women and voluntarily reporting on the gender pay gap

The Role of Ethics in PR and Lansons own journey as the winner of PRCA’s Very large agency Ethical champion on 2018, 2019, 2020

Steps to making the industry more inclusive

Women Leaders, the future of agencies and how they are going to adapt to the changing needs of clients, communities and employees

Subscribe to the show on any of your favourite platforms iTunes, Spotify, Google Podcasts.

Memorable quotes from the conversation with Clare Parsons

“I've had to spend quite a time reflecting on it myself. And I have to for lots of reasons. I am a, as we all are a product of our time. My feminism is based on the time of which it was emerging and the battles I was fighting. And I had to look at myself and realise that my notion of being colour blind wasn't enough. And being a business that was meritocratic, wasn't enough. And I think that has been a catalyst for so many things. So one is the course of self-reflection. I'm lucky enough also to work with some great people at Lansons, who are looking at this in detail and we're collectively looking at what our diversity policy is and if anyone looks on our website, we've declared what we're trying to do as a consequence source material is important.” 

“But also, importantly corporate communications through COVID, has really shown that it was on the top of everyone's agenda. That actually boardrooms recognise the significance of their brand, their reputation, their purpose. A reputation is vital for them in these times. And that, again, our role in business had never been greater. And I think that there was a great communications person who always said you can't talk yourself out of something you've behaved yourself into. And, with COVID, this notion of how you behaved in this period, has shown a huge amount of virtue in some of those businesses, not all by any chance, but that we can make changes if we want to. And Corporate Communications is vital to do that. So I think it's an encouraging period now.”

“It was always part of our intention. At the very beginning, as I said, I wanted no glass ceiling because I’d experienced it. There's never been any holding back of anyone that has talent at Lansons. And there are role models throughout the organisation to show, you can do it in different ways as well. And that's also I think, really important that people can see themselves in the leadership and see different routes to that.”

“We seek those role models, with different voices, to be the clarion call for us. So that we can all learn from each other's stories and vision, and where they see the world. Strangely, Virginia Bottomley, it was her who said, when you recruit, or you look at the people that you are working with, you don't look in a mirror, you look out of the window. And I think that there's never been a more time now to look into society. They are the people we represent. And we have to understand everybody.”

Biography:

Clare Parsons, Co-Founder and Chair, Lansons a leading reputation management and PR business based in London and NYC. Over three decades running Lansons, formed in 1989, Clare has been actively involved both in the PR industry and the not-for-profit sector. Leading the agency’s international business, Clare is on the Global Board of PROI Worldwide. She was Global Chair (2018-2020 ). Clare is the first woman to hold this role in its 50year history. 

Over several decades, Clare has served on the various charity boards, committees, and on trade bodies. Currently Clare is an Advisory Board member for everywoman, a trustee of arts charity HighTide, and patron of Juvenile Diabetes Research Charity (JDRF). 

Clare was recognised with the Stephen Tallent Award by the CIPR for her contribution to the PR industry, where she is also a Fellow, The Holmes Report SABRE Award – Outstanding Individual Achievement which she won with her co-founder Tony Langham, and is a Real Business Magazine’s Top 100 Women UK Entrepreneurs alumni. 

Social Media Handles

http://twitter.com/ClareParsons_

https://www.linkedin.com/in/parsonsclare?lipi=urn%3Ali%3Apage%3Ad_flagship3_profile_view_base_contact_details%3BoMus3f8ETtaXwfQhN%2FehCQ%3D%3D

About Lansons:

For 16 years running, ranked by Great Places to Work in the Top 50 of UK's Best Workplaces™ 2020 (Medium size business) as well as Top 25 UK's Best Workplaces™ for Women 2020.

Named PRCA's first ever 'Very Large Agency Ethical Champion', and featured ever since, awarded 2018 (highly commended), 2019 and 2020.

Awarded EMEA Corporate Consultancy of the Year at the PRovoke SABRE Awards 2020

My guest on today's show is Dr Titilola Banjoko, MD NHS; Entrepreneur; Chair Board of Trustees, International Rescue Committee. 

In this in-depth and freewheeling conversation Dr Banjoko speaks about: 

- Setting up findajobinafrica.com and Africa Recruit and twin tracks of growth

- Intersectionality, structural and systemic racism including in the NHS

- Purpose, Fairness and Equity

- D&I talkshow vs actual progress on diversity, equity and inclusion

- Blending in, being colour blind, white fragility and privilege

- Black Lives Matter and accelerated progress on inclusion?

- Focus as Chair of Board of Trustees International Rescue Committee

- Role of history in fostering a better understanding of the contribution of BAME communities to British society

- Dr Banjoko speaking about her achievements, and what drives her

Excerpts from Dr Banjoko’s conversations: 

“As a woman, I am fully consciously aware of myself and my own imposter syndrome. And what I would define is and you will recall this Sudha, that as women, we sometimes don't seem confident enough to occupy a space, and so we are apologetic. I'm consciously aware of that. I'm also consciously aware that being a black person, in the UK, operating sometimes in spaces where I'm the, I'm the only person of colour, how it can be challenging. But I have learned to grow with my confidence, learned to understand that I have the right to be where I am.”

“The decisions that were being made in response to COVID, were being made by people may I say, who are not from these communities, or people who have no insight into these communities, the way we live, the way we interact, the jobs we do. So as a result of that there was a greater exposure by these communities, because there was no regard for them. And that has been the unfortunate thing. Because they are the ones who were didn't feel they could talk. We’ve all gone through years of what we discovered day to day micro-aggressions, where you get so used to it, so you just keep quiet and you do your bid. And sometimes that means people are put at risk in the process. They put themselves at risk. Because if I talk, they might not hear or they wouldn't act or I might even lose my job.”

“I said on Friday to someone, I don't know what it is to be white. I will never know what it is to be white. I can't, because I am not white. But I know what it is to be black. And I know what it is to live. So we all need to hear each other's story. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable, agree that we need each other, and work collectively. You can't prescribe solutions for experiences you don't have.”

“I think there are two reasons why - one is there’s been prescription of what the issue is by people who don't have the lived experience, coming up with solutions, and then implementing the wrong solutions because you don't know what the issue is. That's one part. The second part is those of us who are on the other side, have been quiet. We speak to ourselves. We don't speak out, we speak to ourselves. So, because we don't want people to be uncomfortable, because it is very uncomfortable.”

Useful links

https://www.rescue-uk.org/press-release/dr-titilola-banjoko-joins-irc-uk-chair-board-trustees

https://royalafricansociety.org/about/council/#submenu

https://www.forwarduk.org.uk/about-us/our-team/trustees/

https://www.thet.org/trustees/dr-titilola-banjoko/

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/jun/18/poor-countries-subsidise-the-nhs-by-training-doctors-compensate-them

https://www.linkedin.com/in/lola-banjoko-0a537a18/?originalSubdomain=uk

https://cdn-cms.f-static.net/uploads/905961/normal_5ee1390b002e5.pdf

Hey Everyone, Welcome to The Elephant in The Room Podcast, with me Sudha Singh

If you don’t already know the term, (according to Wikipedia) it is often used to describe an issue that involves a social taboo or which generates disagreement, such as race, religion, politics, homosexuality, or mental illness. It is applicable when a subject is emotionally charged; and the people who might have spoken up decide that it is probably best avoided. So, I am here to acknowledge and talk about the Elephant in the Room, which may mean different things to different people. My attempt will be to curate a safe space to have uncomfortable conversations about the pervasive inequalities in society and our workplaces.

Two years ago I decided to ‘opt out’ to find my own purpose and focus on passion projects including learning about the systemic biases that are endemic in business and society. The Podcast is my very own listening project, a step towards being more intentional in my learning. 

The idea of The Elephant in the Room podcast was born from my sense of conflict about identity, self and the concept of privilege. It emerged from a need to understand how socio/cultural norms and intersectionality create additional burdens for people, but especially so, for the marginalised and excluded. This was fuelled to a certain extent by my own journey as a mother to three adult children, as a women over 50, a first generation British Indian, an economic migrant, a minority, a carer and a professional. 

The purpose of the podcast is to amplify the voices of diverse people on a range of topics including systemic and institutionalised racism, casteism, discrimination based on further eight protected characteristics, poverty, mental health, climate change, anything that is a taboo and deserves to be mainstream(including culture). I believe silence and ignorance are no longer an option. 

The Elephant in the Room Podcast is for people who want to be a part of the change, for those who want to step up & speak out, for those who want to learn more about biases, barriers and best practice, for those who want a better tomorrow, for business leaders and for individuals. As we embark on this journey of learning my promise is that we will engage on these issues with respect, empathy and seriousness. And for you the listener I hope to share stories like your own, stories that you may have never thought to tell and keep the conversations alive by raising the decibel on issues of inequity and inequality in our search for a fairer and more inclusive world. 

There is an exciting line up of speakers on the Podcast including feminists, authors, LGBTQ Activists, Diversity&Inclusion experts, leaders and people with incredible life experiences. So if you like what you have heard so far do subscribe to my podcast and I look forward to meeting you next Thursday. Thank you for listening.