Shownotes:
In the 50th episode of The Elephant in the Room podcast my guest is Shilpa Ajwani, a strategy consultant & leadership advisor to consumer/lifestyle enterprises and Founder of two startups UnoMantra and SheMantra.
As two women leaders we were keen to use our conversation to explore the barriers faced by women in leadership, her second innings; passion projects; spirituality, being a mother, her identity....👇🏾👇🏾
👉🏾 Challenges she faced as a woman leader in the direct selling industry
👉🏾 Women and their self-limiting beliefs
👉🏾 Being overlooked and the importance of taking charge of one's own career and life
👉🏾 Her journey to becoming an entrepreneur and launching UnoMantra and SheMantra
👉🏾 The shift from success to significance as a driver in her second act
👉🏾 Redefining leadership:traits of aspiring and potential leaders and our ability to learn or nurture leadership traits
👉🏾 The importance of resilience and adaptability for managers and leaders
We also spoke about what drives her to do better each day or who/what inspires.
Want to know more, listen here 👇🏾👇🏾
Memorable Passages from the podcast
👉🏾 Hello Sudha, so glad to be here with you and your audience today.
👉🏾 My name is Shilpa Ajwani and I'm the founder and CEO of UnoMantra, which is my strategy consulting and leadership advisory firm. This is my second act, an act of an entrepreneur. But in my first innings, I have been a corporate professional, creating a successful career in some really well-known multi-national corporations, such as Oriflame and Tupperware brands, where I had my last date as the managing director for Tuppaware brands in India. I am the mother to a 19-year-old and feel very proud to have fulfilled that role to really my satisfaction and that's something I always talk about in my introduction Sudha, because I think I'm a nurturer at heart and that's an important part of me as well. In the pandemic last year, I founded a community for women-led coaching and consulting enterprises called Shemantra. And that is something which is a passion project and that's something I love to do. I also am very passionate about creating gender-equal organisations and that's something which takes up a lot of my time as I am passionate for the cause but, more importantly I'm driven to do something about it as well. So that's me Sudha.
👉🏾 So that I do not know if that will sound spiritual today. I'm at that stage where I honestly feel that that would be my most honest answer when it comes to answering any question on my identity. I identify very closely as a human being and that's it. I feel I'm this tiny little particle of the universe and that really keeps me humble.
👉🏾At the same time, I have realised that I am the universe. And that makes me feel extremely powerful. So I think, you know, today I'm able to make peace that the humble side is me and has to be me. And at the same time, there's a very powerful Shilpa because she is also the universe. Everything else in my journey on this planet will be a blessing in the form of different roles I'm gifted to play. Starting with when I became a daughter. And then, you know, I became a wife and a daughter in law. Always have been friends and many, many other relationships with people around me. Then I became a mother which I think was a turning point in many ways for me personally. And then of course, there's this whole professional aspect of me which I think introduced me really to the outside world, not just, you know, in my city, in my country.
👉🏾 But that gave me exposure to know and make meaningful relationships with so many people around the planet. So, all of these you know, are me. And Yet none of these is me. These are all gifts or blessings that we get as, we journey through life, is how I have you know, decided to see it. Call it "wearing a different lens as one starts to get some gray hair".
👉🏾 But this is what really, you know, gives me a lot of peace. Otherwise when we start to sort of live the identity of, for example, a CEO or a managing director, it's very easy to, to adopt only that mono identity. Or if I just have the identity of being a mother or a wife and, you know, everything in my life just, just is about that.
👉🏾 Then somewhere we will feel not really complete When any of those things suddenly get taken away from us, then we are at a loss. However, when I choose to see myself as a human being journeying through life I think, you know, everything just falls into its own perspective. And I like that.
👉🏾 This is a question, you know, today, when I look back, I think I have an answer. However, when you know, I was in the early years of my corporate career while still growing in my career. I have actually no inclination that I was a woman leader , right?. Such was perhaps call it, a blind spot, call it ignorance. But for me it was blessed because it just allowed me to show up wanting to do my best work to be fully committed, to growing myself and my organisation and making my own contribution without the whole idea of Gender. Making me either someone who was less able or more worthy. In either of these scenarios. Right. So I think I could bring my most authentic, natural self without over thinking about any of those aspects. However, you know, as I started to grow, I realised that, you know, in more and more rooms round me to be firstly, one of the few women and then ultimately to be perhaps one woman in a room full of men over a period of time.
👉🏾 And then to always have leaders, the ultimate leader, the CEO, or the Managing Director to be always a man. And then, somewhere, I think it, it started to create some questions in my own mind and I realised that you know, perhaps, there wasn't anybody who had held my hand and mentored me to actually make me think that I could actually one day be at the helm of affairs of organisations that I truly loved.
And then once that realisation started to set it, you become a little bit aware that there are biases that you encounter in the everyday. And, and when I saw that I was someone who was respected, the results were great. I gathered courage and I asked one of our you know, super bosses in one of our meetings about my future and roadmap and all of that.
👉🏾 I said, No, "do you see me as someone who could be leading this organisation?" And He, you know, his expression is something I will not forget because it was like, he looked extremely surprised as if that didn't even cross his mind. And he said, well, "I think you would be a great number two, but I, I honestly don't know if you can be a number one."
I said, "Fair Enough", not everybody can be a number one. There can after all be only one number one, I said, "can you elaborate what would make me qualify to be a number one or what makes me disqualified?" And, just, you know, making me good enough to stay at a number two, if at all. And he honestly didn't have a great answer to that question.
👉🏾 And that is just one of the instances I'm sharing with you Sudha. Of course, all of us might have many, many more, but that was my realisation that you know, for too long, I had allowed other people to determine what my career should look like? At what pace should I grow? What are the roles that I could or could not really be good enough for?
👉🏾 And that's where I realised that our career and our life are our responsibility. So I chose not to blame him. I chose not to look at myself in a way that would disempower me. I took it as a challenge, that "Oh Great!, you know, my eyes are opened and even if It's a foolish try, but I would want to know what really is the barrier between me at that number one position.
👉🏾 How can I get it? And then in the next couple of years, I was a managing director. I was in a leading role and did that for a decade before I set out to be an entrepreneur and set up my own firm and become a founder and CEO there as well. So that's one instance.
👉🏾 So yeah, so I have always wanted to be an entrepreneur and on my birthday, I think it was my 45th birthday, which was a fantastic birthday. I really sat down and I started to reflect upon how life has been so fa also professionally, my entire journey. And I had a lot of gratitude when I did that little exercise Sudha, because I felt that I was blessed with a lot of success from a very young age.
👉🏾 And of course, it came with hard work and you know, grit and, and a lot of persistence. At the same time, I just wouldn't take away from the fact that it was a successful career. And then I asked myself one question. I said, you know, I have seen a lot of success. What does it take for this success to become significant?
👉🏾 And I think, you know, asking that question and honestly answering that, gave birth to the idea that the time is now. And of course, it took a few months from the time I thought about it to really, you know moving out of the corporate world with my own idea of what I wanted to do, giving it form and shape, and then getting started off as an entrepreneur in 2019, early 2019.So success to significance is the driver.
👉🏾 So Unomantra is a strategy consulting and leadership advisory firms. So I break that up into parts. The leadership advisory bit is what I will start with. So when I take on my work with organisations and I primarily work in the consumer and lifestyle domain
So, brands, which are in the beauty and personal care space, health and wellness, food and beverages, home and lifestyle, fashion. So anything which you and I would consume, I'm in love with the entire consumer and lifestyle businesses. I've grown brands and organisations all my life and it's a natural extension of what I know the best. So I work in that domain and as a leadership advisor, what I do is that when I go in I work first with the founder or the CEO and the leadership team more as a mentor and advisor to them. I help them unpack their personal purpose and I help them to find meaning and connect that back to the organisational purpose.
👉🏾 Many times organisations haven't sat down and articulated, why do they exist, what really is at the core. So that's the bit I start with when I take the strategy consulting piece that we really uncover the purpose. Which I think is a great point of differentiation, but it's also a great way to inspire, the founders themselves, the leadership team and everybody in the team. Then we really sit down and we talk about the strategic roadmap with purpose at the core and once the purpose is clear, everybody's aligned to it. I see the energy of just working with that team the before and after completely different.
👉🏾 And with that excitement, then we talk about all the things which make an iconic organisation of tomorrow, and that's what I'm driven to create. So we talk about the go-to-market strategy, the brand strategy, the people strategy, the financial strategy, everything that is needed. But I say that those are bells whistles but purpose is the real deal. And once that is clear, you can build strategy and actually convert that strategy into brilliant execution. That's what I do, strategy consulting and leadership advisory. And that's the proposition of Unomantra.
👉🏾 So purpose is at the core and for me I have to really spend a lot of time in unpacking my own purpose and articulating that. And once that clarity really was defined for my own self with that inspiration, I actually created the proposition for Unomantra Sudha and that's ``where I feel that purpose is what wakes me up every morning.' Most all mornings without an alarm, because it's creating an excitement, right? To go out and do some great work and to make that contribution that, the whole significance piece. I see that coming through every day as I get down to work. The second act I feel is going to be an evolution. It's not a revolution, I like to see it as an evolution of who I was, because the learnings are very much something that I will take from what I did in the corporate world for more than 25 years. I've had my fair share of setbacks, challenges, mistakes, oh my God, how many? Learnings, lessons, some really big ones and some fantastic successes as well, which I feel very proud to own.
👉🏾 I have had the big privilege of working with exceptional people, learning from them. And I have also been a good student reading, observing, discussing, having brilliant conversations with people on businesses and what really is an iconic business all about and how have businesses that have endured stood the test of time? What had they done differently, that we love them as consumers, their stakeholders have so much of respect and they can make profitable organisations and sustain them over a period of time. So for me, I think the second innings is really an evolution and coming from everything that I'm hungry to share of what I know and I have gained so richly and so beautifully in the last 25 years.
👉🏾 When I look at barriers and I work with so many women as a mentor, very very closely, and I worked both with professionals as well as entrepreneurs today. I like to look at the barriers in a way that I can describe them as intrinsic and extrinsic. So I start with intrinsic because I think that's extremely important.
👉🏾 You know, thanks to all the social conditioning and a lot of it, inherited generation to generation. What we do find is that women tend to grow up with a lot of self-limiting beliefs. A lot of boundaries are already defined for them in terms of what can you aspire for and what you cannot. And when somebody is told something enough times that tend to believe it, right? And one of the biggest things that shows up in every research that I get to read about women and what really stops them, what's the biggest barrier. The biggest barrier turns out is confidence or the lack of it. So I think, self-limiting beliefs, the lack of confidence and this ingrained social conditioning creates a very powerful, system inside a woman which actually nags her and stops her and allows the imposter syndrome to show up every time she decides to get out of her comfort zone actually stretch the boundaries. So that's one piece of it and an extremely important one to have a deep authentic conversation and sometimes they're not even aware that this is happening to them, by themselves, right?
👉🏾 The other aspect, which is better known and now, beginning to also be understood and researched and spoken about thankfully, is the extrinsic piece, where we see that there is a closed society which has also decided the roles and responsibilities that we should or should not have across genders. And I think that somehow is deeply entrenched and that's where sometimes the family becomes the first place where the woman is pulled back rather than propelled forward to go for her dreams. That’s one of the first things that I see. The other piece which is really spoken about is that we tend to lose women and India we see has a decreasing percentage of women in the corporate workforce year on year now, thanks to the three M's you know, marriage, motherhood, mobility. And I think these have been very classic in terms of just putting an end to just so many brilliant careers.
👉🏾 Today though there are a lot of returning programs where women can even come back after motherhood. But I have such horrendous stories of extremely talented women who have to just give up everything that they had worked so hard for and they just didn't get the respect, forget equality, forget equity. They just didn't get the basic decent respect every human being deserves. Just because they became a mother and chose to go back and work in the same organisation. It's amazing to me and apart from that, I think there are, many other, some of them are more exposed, some of them are below the layers, but they're working all the time.
👉🏾 Sometimes differential access to technology sometimes, differential responsibility level. So look who are the caregivers, the primary caregivers. So we get hit by a pandemic suddenly, whose responsibility do seniors at home and the babies at home become? And logically who is then expected apart from keeping everything intact at home, also look after everybody who's at home. And good luck to them, if they also try and nurture their dreams at the same time. So things like these, I think the pandemic exposed so much of what was already happening and these are just few of the things that I can talk about. When I work with entrepreneurs access to funding, to know-how, to even mentorship, I mean all that is rare. Access to networks, completely missing, there are no valuable connections a lot of women themselves build, or they are seen as the right to build those. So they don't even have the right to build those as for many, many people. So I think it's a complex mix of many things happening inside and outside and around a woman. But together they very, very capably keep the woman back and she has to fight against all possible odds to go out and do what should come naturally. So yeah, there's a lot happening out there.
👉🏾 I think the debate can go on for the next billion years Sudha on this one. But I have a view that all of us are born with certain strengths and what's important is to take help and recognise those strengths as early as possible. And then work on honing those strengths and in that sense, everybody is a born leader because a lot of those strengths, which you have as a human being, as a person are also extremely good at you being a leader. So like I said, I think nurturing is a strength that I have. Now that's not just for moms, but you know, you could nurture other leaders in the organisation you work for. You could nurture an entire organisation, and you could nurture a country, right? As a political leader. So, these traits are just an extension of what you can apply in the corporate world.
👉🏾 And thankfully, a lot of the traits such as empathy, nurturing, being a better listener are collaborative working styles. They were seen as feminine and not really worthy of so-called "great leadership". But today, I mean, I think we're talking a very different language and a lot of the men might have to actually go back to school and learn a lot of these. That brings me to the other part of it. Once you have awareness, and you have the ability to get access to information on, what