In this episode, Taylor and Pete dig into dogmatism: the mindset of holding opinions so strongly they’re treated as unquestionable facts. They talk about why the need to be right feels so comforting, how rigid beliefs can turn into hostility, and why “strong feelings” aren’t the same thing as truth. Along the way, they unpack the difference between values vs. opinions, explore how people can think they're being “open” without actually being flexible, and examine what happens when a belief system collapses under the fear of being wrong.

They share stories ranging from workplace rigidity to politics and religion, plus personal experiences of friendship loss and clinical examples of what it looks like to meet people where they are instead of writing them off. The episode ends with a challenge: a more examined life is uncomfortable… but it might be the only way to avoid the danger of unexamined certainty.

• What “dogmatism” actually means (and why it’s more than religion/politics)
• The difference between open-mindedness and non-dogmatic thinking
• A real-world example of needing to be right at any cost (and how expensive that gets)
• Why standardization is useful, and why rigidity still creates problems
• Values vs. opinions: why confusing them makes everything brittle
• Questioning vs. doubting (and why people often confuse the two)
• How dogmatism shows up in relationships, work, and identity
• Why “being right” gets confused with power, and how that becomes dangerous
• The fear underneath dogma: “If I’m wrong, my whole system collapses”
• What an “uncomfortably examined life” looks like in practice

00:00 Intro
04:10 Why this episode exists (listener request) + the “need to be right” setup
06:20 Defining dogmatism: opinions presented as facts
09:10 Taking a dogmatism assessment + comparing scores
11:10 Standards vs rigidity: when “why?” matters (and when it doesn’t)
14:20 Openness vs dogmatism: you can listen and still refuse to change
16:00 Religion, faith, and “the wrestle is the point”
17:30 Politics, values, and why people define themselves against “the other side”
21:40 Bedrock beliefs: do you need a foundation to function?
35:00 Questioning vs doubting: testing strength without tearing it down
39:40 Labels, diagnoses, and rigid “should” thinking
42:10 The cost of rigidity: losing relationships + hostility link
46:30 Dogma from both ends: religion AND anti-religion
48:10 Meeting people where they are (Christopher Columbus / Santa example)
51:50 The real structure: values stay, opinions change
54:10 The danger of flattening everything into one issue
56:10 Being right vs power, and why “no questions, only obedience” is dangerous
58:30 Strong beliefs vs unexamined rules
01:04:40 Final question: what’s the danger of being wrong?
01:10:00 Why dogmatism is appealing: it’s easier
01:11:30 Wrap-up

• Listener prompt: Jeff Barlow
• Instagram: @drawitinone (Jeff Barlow)

If you’ve got a topic you want us to cover, email us: [email protected]
We read every comment and reply whenever possible — thanks for being part of the conversation.

Burnout is usually framed as a personal failure: try harder, rest more, be more resilient. In this episode, Taylor and Pete argue that this framing misses half the picture.

Using the metaphor of the foot and the shoe, they explore burnout as both a personal and environmental problem. Sometimes burnout comes from the foot (capacity, expectations, boundaries, energy, or self-care). Other times, the problem is the shoe (workload, leadership, policies, role fit, or systems that were never designed with human limits in mind). Most of the time, it’s a little of both.

The conversation unpacks what burnout actually feels like (low energy, anhedonia, loss of accomplishment, guilt, and the sense that there’s “nothing left to give”), why burnout is better understood as a path rather than a destination, and how guilt often accelerates burnout instead of resolving it.

They discuss early burnout research, how caring professions are especially vulnerable to exploitation through “calling” language, and why many burnout conversations focus too narrowly on individual responsibility while ignoring systemic pressure. The episode also explores hope (and why hope must be realistic rather than delusional) and how milestones and end dates make sustained stress survivable.

Both hosts share candid stories from their own careers, including being fired early on, how those experiences fed self-blame, and why approval from supervisors or institutions is a poor measure of competence or worth. The episode closes with a discussion about identity, why letting your job become who you are makes burnout far more damaging, and how spreading identity across multiple roles can protect against collapse.

This episode is for anyone wondering whether burnout means something is wrong with me or something no longer fits.

00:00 – Opening and catching up
03:30 – Introducing burnout
05:30 – School, pressure, and performance expectations
07:00 – Early burnout research and definitions
09:30 – Burnout as a path, not a destination
11:30 – Fuel vs. fit: the foot and the shoe
14:00 – Guilt, failure, and crossing the burnout line
18:30 – Parenting, wrestling, and self-blame
22:30 – Burnout in caring professions and “calling” language
27:00 – What burnout actually feels like
30:30 – Milestones, end dates, and triage mode
34:00 – Hope, peace, and anhedonia
37:00 – When the job won’t change: realistic hope
40:00 – Being fired, competence, and identity
49:00 – Why your job isn’t who you are
55:00 – Control, acceptance, and closing reflections

• Burnout as a process, not a single event
• The “foot vs. shoe” framework (person vs. environment)
• What burnout feels like emotionally and physically
• Guilt, self-blame, and shame cycles
• Why self-care alone isn’t enough
• Burnout in caring and helping professions
• Realistic hope vs. false optimism
• The importance of milestones and end dates
• Being fired and measuring competence
• Identity, work, and resilience

Support for the Emotional Men Podcast comes from McCarrey Counseling.
McCarrey Counseling provides virtual therapy to clients in Texas and Washington, with in-person sessions available in Round Rock, Texas.
Learn more at mccarreycounseling.com

#Burnout #MentalHealth #WorkplaceCulture #EmotionalHealth
#Therapy #Careers #Leadership #Psychology
#SelfWorth #Resilience #EmotionalMenPodcast

The holidays can promise connection and comfort… and still deliver stress, awkward conversations, and disappointment. In this episode, Taylor and Pete break down why holiday stress feels uniquely heavy, how “perfect holiday” expectations backfire, and what to do when you feel yourself hitting your limit.

You’ll hear practical ways to recognize your stress signals, set boundaries without being harsh, and step away from conversations (including politics) that aren’t going anywhere while still keeping relationships intact.

• Why holiday stress can feel worse than everyday stress
• The “Broken Promise Effect”: when the holiday’s expectation is the thing that fails
• How to spot your personal stress tells (somatic + behavioral cues)
• Radical acceptance: “Here we are” (not “nothing can change”)
• Boundaries without being a jerk: clarity, honesty, and follow-through
• Stated vs. unstated expectations, and why that distinction matters
• Handling politics at family gatherings: disengaging without escalating
• When placating is a survival tool (and when it costs you)
• Repair after rupture: what to do when things go sideways
• The underrated skill: always have an exit plan

• Expectations create stress; agreements reduce it.
• You’re responsible for what you do with your feelings, not everyone else’s feelings.
• You can love people you don’t agree with, without pretending you’re fine.
• Emotions cool down; give space, then repair.

This episode briefly discusses self-harm/suicide-related research in the context of population-level mental health patterns around major holidays.

If you or someone you know is struggling, in the U.S. you can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). If you’re outside the U.S., local crisis resources vary by country.

Emotional Men Podcast — weekly conversations on emotions, meaning-making, relationships, and the messy reality of being human.

Email us at [email protected]

#EmotionalMenPodcast #HolidayStress #Boundaries #RadicalAcceptance #FamilyDynamics #AnxietyTools #Relationships #MentalHealth #ConflictResolution

00:00 Opening banter & holiday setup
06:45 Why holiday stress feels different
09:05 The Broken Promise Effect (expectations vs reality)
16:20 Radical acceptance: “Here we are”
19:35 Spotting stress before it takes over
24:40 Boundaries without being a jerk
29:05 Stated vs unstated expectations
39:55 Politics, conflict, and disengaging cleanly
47:05 Placating, power, and when to walk away
55:40 Repair after rupture & exit plans
58:10 Closing thoughts & holiday send-off

If you’re having suicidal thoughts, call or text 988 (U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). Veterans press 1.

This episode is a direct, stigma-free conversation about suicide. We talk about what suicidal thoughts feel like, how ideation differs from plans and intent, and why human connection can pull people back from the brink. Guest Mike Dolloff shares his experience of an attempted suicide at 18 and what helped him recover. We talk about anhedonia, loneliness, masculinity, safety planning, and how to actually show up for someone in pain.

Content note: frank discussion of suicide, a suicide attempt, and dark humor used as coping.

00:00 – Crisis resources (988) & content note
01:17 – Introducing Mike Dolloff
04:59 – Lithuania story & dark humor
06:19 – Mike’s background (sales leader)
08:46 – Ideation vs plan vs intent
12:01 – Mike’s suicide attempt
15:37 – Shame, secrecy, and survival
18:09 – “Permanent solution to a temporary problem”
19:38 – Bravery, empathy, and connection
23:33 – Why attempts stop: fixation & exhaustion
25:10 – Readjusting to life after an attempt
28:17 – Why saying suicide out loud matters
31:13 – Vulnerability → real connection
34:28 – How to show up for someone suicidal
37:33 – “The opposite of suicide is living”
41:52 – Talking to kids about suicide
49:36 – Clinical breakdown: thoughts, plan, intent
52:39 – Means safety (locks, meds, distance)
56:53 – Research: asking doesn’t cause suicidality
58:13 – Language, censorship, and stigma
01:00:36 – Humanity vs anonymity
01:03:19 – Contact info & listener support
01:04:38 – Integration & reflection
01:06:18 – Close and sign-off

Key takeaways
• Suicide is often about escaping unbearable pain; ideation ≠ intent.
• Naming suicide reduces stigma and can lower ideation when paired with support.
• Connection beats lectures: sit with, listen, remove access to means, build a safety plan.
• Anhedonia (loss of pleasure) is a red flag; small “living” behaviors matter.
• Masculinity scripts (“be stoic”) isolate men; vulnerability protects.

Resources
• U.S. Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call/Text 988 (24/7). Veterans press 1.
• Means safety: trigger locks/gun safes; secure meds; add time/distance between impulse and access.
• Tell one trusted person today. Human contact changes outcomes.

Guest
Mike Dolloff — business/sales leader and attempt survivor speaking candidly about loneliness, stigma, and recovery.

Hosts & contact
Taylor McCarrey & Peter Kingsley — therapists discussing suicidality, safety planning, and recovery.
Contact: [email protected]. Licensing varies by state; not a substitute for therapy.

Help others find this episode
If this conversation helped you, share it and rate/review so people searching for suicide, suicidality, suicide prevention, mental health, anhedonia, or safety planning can find it.

Search tags
suicide, suicidality, suicidal thoughts, suicide prevention, suicide attempt survivor, mental health, depression, loneliness, anhedonia, safety planning, crisis hotline, 988, masculinity, vulnerability, stigma, therapy, lived experience, recovery, resilience

In the final part of our “balanced life” arc (creativity • education • physicality), we dig into how the body teaches identity. This one isn’t reps-and-macros. It’s about push-ups to kill an urge, trauma collapsing your whole self into one joint, posture shifting mood, Weird Al-induced joy, ballet and masculinity, nature as a somatic reset, “dad hands,” EMG tests, and memento mori. We connect physical experience to power, vulnerability, spirituality, art, and everyday confidence. By the end, the throughline’s simple: your body isn’t a noisy vehicle your brain tolerates; it’s the instrument you live your life through.

CHAPTERS

• 00:00 — Cold open, money jokes, “plans on plans”
• 02:25 — Series framing: this isn’t about “exercise”
• 03:20 — Mind–body unity, movement ↔ mood
• 04:45 — Push-ups vs urges; agency in motion
• 07:03 — Fear, trauma, and somatic reality
• 09:35 — Creativity in movement; not just the gym
• 10:40 — Ballet, masculinity, beauty
• 15:50 — Synthesis: sex, art, work as physical
• 17:26 — Suffering ≠ virtue; body as teacher
• 19:51 — Permission to feel joy (Weird Al)
• 22:20 — Evidence: posture helps mood/pain; yoga ≠ EF fix
• 28:34 — Embodiment and presence (Ben Kenney)
• 33:18 — Nature vs physicality; how they stack
• 37:03 — Where do you “live” in your body?
• 40:28 — “Dad hands” and identity
• 44:45 — Pain hijacks self; zooming out
• 49:09 — Memento mori and acceptance
• 53:10 — Ritual/space: temples, weddings, bodies
• 55:04 — Nature/art reduce anxiety
• 59:19 — Stage volume; photography you can feel
• 1:06:21 — Showing up with your body
• 1:07:45 — Next week: suicidality with Mike Dolloff

Content notes: casual references to addiction and trauma; candid language about bodies/sexuality.
Series note: Part 3 of 3 on a balanced life.

• Physicality ≠ exercise. It’s how you inhabit your body: posture, breath, movement, presence.
• Agency lives in motion. Small, deliberate acts (push-ups, a walk, posture reset) can interrupt urges and restore control.
• Pain collapses identity. Trauma and chronic pain can reduce “me” to a body part; practices that widen attention help.
• Mood is embodied. Posture and movement correlate with affect; not a cure-all, but a lever.
• Expression beats suppression. Letting joy or pleasure register physically is connection, not chaos.
• Ritual matters. Spiritual and communal practices work through the body; meaning is somatic as much as cognitive.
• Memento mori clarifies. Remembering you’ll die often makes room for clearer choices and deeper joy.
• Identity is learned physically. “Dad hands,” stage air, dawn stillness—specific sensations anchor who you are.

• Contact: [email protected]

#EmotionalMenPodcast #physicality #embodiment #mentalhealth #fatherhood #addictionrecovery #chronicpain #mementomori #menshealth #mindfulness

Creativity isn’t just paintings and songs. It’s making anything that didn’t exist five minutes ago, be it spreadsheets, shelves, systems, owl houses. Taylor and Pete dig into creativity as agency, meaning-making, and identity. You’ll hear how “creation is confrontation,” why anchors matter, how to practice “everyday creativity,” and a simple three-step framework you can use tonight.

Content note: one explicit phrase

• Thesis: Creativity ≠ art. It’s the act of making; the value is in the making.
• Why bother: Control, meaning, identity; it anchors you to yourself.
• Do-this-today: Curiosity → Make → Share (10 minutes is enough).
• Myth-bust: Worth ≠ marketable. Make it for you; audience comes last.

• 00:00 Cold open & series setup (Balanced Life Pt. 2)
• 01:18 Camera shenanigans → Homestar joy, then pivot to thesis
• 05:41 Expecting outrage vs real-life responses
• 14:20 Creativity ≠ art (definition) + the Ben Kenney spark
• 20:30 Everyday creativity as micro-control (choose your route home)
• 25:00 Post-Traumatic Growth & emotional creativity (plain-English takeaways)
• 35:57 Anchors: the habits that tether you to yourself
• 38:54 The crooked shelves: pride, humility, and learning by making
• 47:15 The “ugly owl house” and pride in process
• 54:37 Framework: Curiosity → Make → Share
• 59:03 Marketability myth; make it for you
• 01:05:32 Double digits: Ep 10 milestone + next week’s “Physicality” teaser

1. Creativity is agency. It’s choosing to make something and owning the consequence.
2. Meaning beats metrics. The thing you made is a time-stamp of who you were.
3. Anchors keep you you. Identify 3 creative anchors (e.g., sketching, music, systems) and use them when you feel unmoored.
4. Process over polish. Imperfect output still teaches, connects, and counts.
5. Sharing helps. You don’t have to share the whole thing—share a detail or the process.

• Feel curiosity: Ask “I wonder…” about one mundane thing.
• Make one tiny thing: Sketch your chair, write 4 lines, reorganize one shelf, build a 4-bar loop, or jot a system for a daily task.
• Share a corner of it: Tell one person you made a thing; show a detail or a process shot.

Curiosity → Make → Share

• Curiosity: “I wonder…”
• Make: a 10-minute micro-creation.
• Share: connect with one human; it can be a detail, not the whole thing.

Hosts: Taylor McCarrey & Peter Kingsley
Editing/Production: Emotional Men Podcast

• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: @emotionalmenpodcast
• Rate/review if this helped.

creativity, mental health, meaning making, post-traumatic growth, identity, anchors, perfectionism, agency, everyday creativity, balanced life, habits, vulnerability

This episode launches a three-part series focusing on the pursuit of a balanced life through three essential human endeavors: Education, Creativity, and Physicality. Hosts Taylor and Pete argue that focusing on these three areas provides a richer, less overwhelmed existence.

The first pillar is Education, defined as the lifelong process of filling the voids of ignorance and cultivating an educational mindset.

• Education vs. Degree: True education is about personal growth and the pursuit of possibility, driven by interest, not formal certification.
• The Value of Synthesis: Education provides the knowledge needed to synthesize new ideas and solutions (combining existing concepts to create new insights).
• Embracing Humility: The best learning requires intellectual humility and a commitment to continually "soak up stuff," even if it's not for professional gain.
• Overcoming Boredom: To stay engaged in long-term tasks (like a degree), hosts suggest:
  1. Increase Proficiency: Find your weaknesses and practice "sucking" at them to improve.
  2. Love the Result: Focus on the value and outcome of the task, not the immediate difficulty.

The hosts discuss the role and value of psychology as a science.

• Soft Science: Psychology and mental health are probabilistic sciences, not hard, predictive sciences like physics. Human history and interpretation make guaranteed outcomes impossible.
• The Value of Unknowing: The inability to predict human behavior is not a weakness; the "unknowing" is central to humanity.
• Focus on Association: Social science's value lies in creating strong associations (e.g., risk factors) and effective theories (like color theory) even without guaranteed predictive certainty.

The discussion covers the challenge of integrating deep personal pursuits with life responsibilities.

• The Obsession Trap: Hobbies and learning can easily encroach on family time and other duties, requiring constant awareness to maintain balance.
• Stress Management: The goal is to maximize eustress (good, productive stress) and avoid descending into distress (unproductive, anxious stress).
• Interconnectedness: All three pillars are related: Education (learning a skill) leads to Creativity (making a product), which involves Physicality (the hands-on work).

• Next Episode: Creative Pursuits (How to incorporate more art and creation into your life).

Humility isn’t “I suck.” It’s “I’m listening.”

In this episode, Taylor and Pete sit down with their long-time friend Jihad Alex Sakhnini (former Army linguist, performance consultant in oil & gas and aerospace, ex–head of sports strategy at EA, and current leadership coach) to dismantle the “hero leader” myth.

They unpack the difference between formal and informal leadership, how humility shows up as receptivity, and why management is a technical skill while leadership looks more like great teammateship. Expect stories from aircraft maintenance bays, gaming studios, oil rigs, and therapy rooms, plus a simple way to diagnose whether your team has a leadership problem, a humility problem, or a management problem.

Jihad Alex Sakhnini
Leadership & performance consultant, former Army linguist and contractor, ex–head of Sports Strategy & Content at Glu / EA, high school football coach, and lifelong builder of weirdly great teams.
📧 [email protected]

• Humility is a skill. It’s not a personality trait you either have or don’t; it’s practiced receptivity: feedback, differences, and other people’s excellence are not threats.
• Anyone can lead. Picking up the metaphorical soda can and putting it in the right bin — behavior that inspires others — is leadership, with or without a title.
• Titles = accountability, not superiority. On high-performing teams, the only real difference between “leader” and “everyone else” is whose name is on the fallout when things go wrong.
• Teammateship is undertrained. We train people to be “leaders” and “top performers,” but almost never train them to be great teammates. That’s where humility lives.
• Boundaries protect trust. Being kind and open does not mean giving people unlimited access to you. For leaders and therapists, over-closeness eventually kills the work.
• Output is the scoreboard. When people overstep, disengage, or pull sideways, the clearest signal is declining or distorted output — not vibes in a meeting.

Chapter List

00:00 – Cold open & Jihad’s “friend test”
02:10 – Introducing Jihad’s background (Army, consulting, EA, coaching)
06:00 – Formal vs informal leadership
09:40 – Adapting leadership style to different teams
13:40 – Politics vs team-first leadership (leaving EA)
18:30 – Curiosity as a career engine
20:55 – What is humility? (receptivity vs self-abasing)
23:50 – Accurate self-assessment: strengths, limits, and deference
31:15 – Power, expertise, and informal leadership
41:00 – Servant leadership & “citizenship” on a team
55:30 – Teammateship, humility, and the management vs leadership split
1:05:10 – How to reach Jihad + teaser for balanced living series

In this episode, Taylor and Pete tackle one of the most loaded phrases in modern culture: toxic masculinity. What does it actually mean? Who decides? And can we talk about it without turning it into a fight?

Through an honest, sometimes uncomfortable, but always thoughtful conversation, the guys unpack what’s behind the label and how it often gets misused. Together, Pete and Taylor dig into the difference between being masculine and being told what masculinity has to look like.

They cover where the phrase came from, why it triggers such strong reactions, and how it intersects with power, emotion, and the roles men learn to play from childhood. It’s not intended as a takedown of masculinity. Rather, it’s a closer look at what happens when the definition of “being a man” becomes a weapon instead of a mirror, whether used against men or against the people who love them.

This isn’t about shaming men. It’s about breaking open the language we use so we can have better conversations. Ones that include everyone instead of shutting people down. The goal isn’t to erase masculinity, but to make space for all the ways it can look healthy, human, and real.

• Why the term “toxic masculinity” gets misused and misunderstood
• The difference between labeling behaviors vs. labeling people
• How men inherit unearned power and what responsibility comes with it
• What happens when masculinity becomes a measuring stick
• How emotional expression in men is still policed (and by whom)
• “Toxic” as a conversation stopper vs. conversation starter
• How culture shapes what “manly” looks like, from kilts to construction sites
• The tension between strength, vulnerability, and fear

Follow Emotional Men on Instagram @emotionalmenpodcast
Email thoughts or stories: [email protected]

Hosted by Taylor McCarrey & Peter Kingsley
Produced by McCarrey Counseling
Music by Taylor McCarrey & Sean Graham

Art is so much more than just decoration. It’s nervous-system care! In this episode we bring on arts critic and teacher Cat McCarrey to explore why engaging with art measurably lowers anxiety, increases empathy, and strengthens well-being. We talk about “giving vs. demanding” art, why hospitals with nature images see reduced stress and medication use, how design and acoustics count as art, and why good art pushes with velvet, not a dagger. We also dig into censorship, banned books, and art as “safe truth-telling.” Practical ways to start engaging with art included, even if you don’t think you’re an “art person.”

• Art isn’t fluff; it’s nervous-system input. Thoughtful visuals/sound reduce anxiety and even staff errors in care settings.
• “Giving” art (e.g., nature landscapes) soothes; “demanding” art stretches your perspective. Both matter.
• Good art is a velvet push. It challenges without bludgeoning.
• Empathy engine. You can argue with a person; you can’t argue with a painting. Art forces you to sit with another lens.
• Everyone is creative. Creating sharpens your ability to appreciate creation and improves well-being.

• Two-Week Art Habit (lightweight):
  • 1 local gallery or museum visit (free day if possible)
  • 1 live performance (theater, dance, classical, indie show)
  • 2 full-album intentional listens (no multitasking)
  • 2 poems (read aloud)
  • 2 films outside your usual lane
• Where to look: your public library (exhibits, talks, music nights), city museum calendars for free days, neighborhood galleries/artist co-ops.