In this episode, we do something a little different.

We listen to Lily Allen’s West End Girl track by track and react to it in real time, using our own experiences in ethical non-monogamy as the lens for the conversation.

As the album unfolds, so does a bigger discussion about heartbreak, agreements, jealousy, attachment, communication, and the messy space between what people say they want and what actually happens in practice.

Rather than trying to give definitive answers, we let the songs lead us. Some moments are funny, some are uncomfortable, and some hit surprisingly hard.

What follows is a raw conversation about love, betrayal, power, desire, and the difficult questions that can sit underneath non-monogamous relationships when things stop feeling clear.

This episode is part album reaction, part relationship analysis, and part honest reflection on what can happen when intimacy, hurt, and uncertainty all collide.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Part 2 of Leonie’s story, the conversation moves from background into becoming.

We explore what happened after the rules started to loosen: the slow unfurling of sexuality, the complexity of identity, and the often messy gap between what non-monogamy is supposed to look like and what it actually feels like to live it.

Leonie speaks openly about moving from a conservative faith background into a much broader world of intimacy, queerness, friendship and connection.

We talk about the difference between attraction and compatibility, the challenge of unlearning old conditioning, the reality of dating in ENM spaces, and how non-monogamy can open up not just relationships, but entirely new ways of understanding yourself.

This episode is about fluidity, directness, friendship, desire, and the ongoing process of working out what connection really means when you no longer fit inside the old rules. 

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From Conservative Faith to Non-Monogamy: Leonie’s Story Part 1

In Part 1 of Leonie’s story, we go right back to the beginning. Leonie reflects on her childhood, her deep sense of spirituality, and the role conservative faith played in shaping how she saw herself, community, belonging and the world around her.

Together, we unpack the difference between genuine spiritual connection and organised religion, the comfort and healing that faith can offer, and the ways control, conformity and social expectations can quietly shape a person’s life. Leonie speaks openly about what it was like to move through rigid religious spaces, the pressure to be “good”, and the turning points that led her to question the path she had been given.

This episode is a conversation about spirituality, identity, community, freedom, and what happens when you begin stepping off the track that was laid out for you.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making more gorgeous chaos?

you can support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here: Ko-fi.com

Your support helps us make the podcast and also contributes to our broader mission of funding free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise be able to access it.

Come say hi or follow along:

Instagram

Tiktok

Email us!

Want to book a counselling session with Adam?

Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from potential collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation, reflection and shared experience. It is not a replacement for therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• Dating while polyamorous and ethically non-monogamous
• Why some of the best dates are platonic
• Online dating red flags and bios that make us swipe away
• First-time sex party nerves (and snacks)
• The pressure (or not) at ENM social events
• How community-based connections feel safer and more authentic
• One piece of advice we’d give to anyone starting out in ENM

• ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help fund free therapy and support groups
• The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (access via Ko-Fi)

• Follow, review, and support the pod over on Ko-fi — every little bit helps us fund free and subsidised therapy and support groups for ENM folks.
• Join our Discord to connect with other non-monogamous, queer, and curious humans from all walks of life.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• How we define “good communication” in ENM relationships
• Why listening is the most underrated communication skill
• Emotional regulation and learning your own processing style
• What a boundary actually is (and what it’s not)
• When communication isn’t enough and a relationship ends
• Common challenges like unmet expectations and miscommunication between partners and metamours
• The difference between boundaries, agreements, and rules
• Learning from past relationships and becoming “version 2.0”

• ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private community
• Polysecure (book)
• The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)
• TED Talk: “John Francis: Walk the earth ... my 17-year vow of silence | TED
• Miriam Margolyes Meets The Sistergirls Of The Tiwi Islands | Miriam Margolyes: Almost Australian

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• Coming out as ethically non-monogamous to friends, family, and colleagues
• Navigating disclosure in conservative or religious families
• Balancing identity, safety, and authenticity in the workplace
• Friendship shifts, chosen family, and community support
• How queer identity, culture, and values shape ENM disclosure
• The emotional labour of educating others about ethical non-monogamy

• ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and join our private community
• Polysecure (book)
• The E&M DNM Discord – connect, learn, and share in a supportive space (accessible via the Ko-Fi link)

• Follow, rate, and review the podcast — it really helps more people find us.
• Support us and access our private Discord via Ko-fi.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• How race, culture, gender, and queerness influence our experiences in ENM
• The impact of religious and conservative upbringings on identity and relationships
• Shame, internalised norms, and how we begin to unlearn them
• The role of gender identity and sexuality in open relationships
• Navigating ENM while feeling “not queer enough” or “too much”
• Relationship structures beyond the mainstream
• Friendship, intimacy, and redefining what connection means
• Vulnerability, self-discovery, and making space for change

• Ko-Fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and our community
• The Ethical Slut (book)

• If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.
• Want to keep the conversation going?
• Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, identity, support, and more.

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• Our first steps into ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and polyamory
• Where we looked for information, advice, and emotional support
• Early emotional challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and loneliness
• The cultural and queer identity layers that shaped our experiences
• How support groups, dating apps, and community events helped (or didn’t)
• Good advice, bad advice, and everything in between
• Personal reflections, resilience, and learning to sit with discomfort
• What we wish we’d known when we were starting out in ENM

• ko-fi.com/enmdnm
• yarnn.au
• Poly Phelia Instagram
• Shrimp Teeth Instagram
• The Ethical Slut (book)

• If this episode resonated with you, give us a follow, leave a review, or support the pod on Ko-fi.
• Want to keep the conversation going? Join our queer-friendly Discord community where we talk ENM, dating, identity, and more.
• Next episode, we’re diving into intersectionality in ENM—how our race, gender, queerness, and lived experience shape the way we show up in relationships. 

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

• How we each came to non-monogamy, and why
• Why labels like polyamory, ENM, and RA can be useful… or not
• What communication, consent, and boundaries look like in real life
• Early challenges and moments of growth
• How queer identity, community, and self-discovery intersect in our relationships

• ko-fi.com/enmdnm – Support the pod and help us keep going 💛
• yarnn.au
• hausofdizzy.com
• kinyalerrk.com.au
• clothingthegaps.com.au
• Decolonise Yourself Card Game by Aretha Brown

• Join our community on Discord (coming soon!)
• Support us on Ko-Fi
• Subscribe or follow wherever you get your podcasts
• Share this episode with your polycule, your curious mates, or your queer book club

Loved the episode? Want to help keep The ENM DNM alive, growing and making gorgeous chaos?

Support the podcast with a one-off or ongoing donation here

Your support helps us make the podcast and helps fund free and subsidised therapy for people who may not otherwise access it.

Come say hi or follow along: socials

Want to book a counselling session with Adam? Get in touch here: Halaxy

We’re also keen to hear from collaborators, sponsors, guests and partners.

Please note: this podcast is for conversation and reflection, not therapy, medical advice or crisis support.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.