What happens when your earliest education about sexuality comes from growing up around the adult industry?

In this episode I chat with filmmaker and storyteller Laila Ocean to explore her unique experience of being the daughter of a porn performer, and how that shaped her understanding of sexuality, relationships, stigma, freedom, and desire.

Laila is currently creating Unbound, a documentary exploring sexuality, identity, and the human stories behind the adult industry. We discuss what it was like discovering her father's profession, the assumptions people make about pornography, and how growing up around adult entertainment influenced her own erotic development.

Here is the International Documentary Association fundraising page to support Laila's project: https://www.documentary.org/project/unbound-crowned-pleasure or connect with Laila on her Instagram @laila.ocean

We explore:

• Growing up as the child of a porn performer.
• Sexuality, stigma, and identity formation.
• The making of the documentary Unbound.
• Media narratives around sex work and porn.
• Sexual freedom and cultural expectations.
• Parenting, sexuality, and honest conversations.

Research Article: Adolescents and Pornography: A Review of 20 Years of Research.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
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• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when BDSM isn't really about sex?

In this episode I chat with Ms Hyde — an asexual disciplinarian, BDSM educator, life coach, author, and craftsperson — to explore the psychology of power, discipline, communication, and consent.

We explore:

• Asexuality and BDSM.
• The psychology of discipline.
• Therapeutic spanking and meaning-making.
• Beyond Vanilla and BDSM education.
• Repair, accountability, and relationship growth.
• Why pleasure and power are not opposites.

Research Article: Making Sense of S&M: A Discourse Analytic Account.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if the people with the richest erotic lives are often the ones you'd least expect?

In this episode I sit down with Sarah—a self-described nerdy submissive to explore the intersection of kink, neurodivergence, fantasy, imagination, and hidden desire.

We explore:

• The psychology of submission.
• Neurodivergence and kink.
• Dungeons & Dragons and erotic imagination.
• Hidden desires and secret erotic worlds.
• Non-extreme BDSM and everyday kink.
• Fantasy, belonging, and finding your tribe.

Research article: The Prevalence of BDSM in Finland and the Association between BDSM Interest and Personality Traits.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Why do some people describe rope as a pathway into trust, presence, and altered states of consciousness?

In this episode I sit down with Mark DeViate — Dominant, rope practitioner, polyamorous relationship veteran, and long-time member of the BDSM community, to explore the psychology of surrender, ethical dominance, and the transformative potential of connection-based kink.

We explore:

• • The psychology of ethical dominance.
• • Shibari, rope bondage, and surrender.
• • Topspace, flow states, and altered consciousness.
• • Performance-based kink vs connection-based kink.
• • Long-term polyamory and relationship longevity.

Research article: The Biology of BDSM: A Systematic Review

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Can kink help people heal trauma—or is that a dangerous misunderstanding?

In this episode I sit down with JDominatrix, a trauma-informed kink educator, Mistress, sadist, and community leader, to explore one of the most debated topics in BDSM: the relationship between trauma, healing, and erotic power.

We explore:

• Trauma-informed approaches to BDSM
• Can kink become part of healing?
• Consent, trust, and ethical power exchange
• The psychology of Dominance and submission
• Running a dungeon and teaching kink
• Community, growth, and erotic empowerment

Research article: Trauma-Informed Kink Healing

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when a woman stops believing the myth that desire belongs only to the young?

In this episode I’m joined by Brookiana to explore aging, erotic reinvention, and the psychology of becoming desired again.

We explore:

• Noetisexuality and attraction to intellect and depth.
• Aging, femininity, and erotic reinvention.
• Returning to sexuality after abstinence.
• Why younger men are drawn to emotionally mature women.
• Writing erotica and reclaiming erotic identity later in life.

Research article: Sex and the (older) single girl: Experiences of sex and dating in later life.

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when desire is no longer seen as something personal — but something ecological?

In this episode I’m joined by Sketchy to explore the intersection of queer identity, biology, and erotic connection. We unpack the idea of “the ecology of desire” — where attraction, intimacy, and sexuality are not just internal experiences, but relational processes shaped by our connection to the world around us.

We explore:

• The concept of the ecology of desire.
• Queer erotics and nature as inherently diverse.
• Biology, symbiosis, and intimacy.
• Desire as relational rather than individual.
• Kink, identity, and connection beyond the self.

Research article: Queer Ecologies: Sex, Nature, Politics, Desire.

VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when surrender isn’t weakness — but identity?

In this episode I’m joined by Daniika — a submissive, masochist, and self-described slave exploring the psychology of power, pain, and total surrender.

We explore:

• The psychology of masochism and meaning in pain.
• What “slave” and “ownership” actually mean in BDSM.
• 24/7 power exchange in real life.
• Kink, identity, and the idea of orientation.
• Neurodivergence, structure, and erotic regulation.

Research article: The Kink Orientation Scale: Developing and Validating a Measure of Kink Desire, Practice, and Identity.

VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when submission isn’t about obedience — but about play, tension, and choice?

In this episode of I’m joined by Jade — a bisexual, bratty submissive navigating the psychological complexity of power, identity, and desire across both kink and swinging spaces.

We explore:

• The psychology of brat energy and boundary play.
• Submission as choice vs identity.
• Kink vs swinging: key psychological differences.
• Navigating marriage alongside a D/s dynamic.
• Why people may already be engaging in BDSM without knowing it.

Research article: From Fantasy to Communication: BDSM Engagement, Sexual Experience Breadth, and Pleasure Deservingness Among College Women.

VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when submission isn’t about giving up power - but finding freedom through it?

In this episode I’m joined by Alixx Amour to explore a question that has fascinated me for years: Are some people born kinky? We talk about early awareness of submissive desire, the psychology of trust, sexual agency in BDSM, and whether kink can feel less like something learned and more like something recognised.

We explore:

• Are some people born kinky?
• Submission as freedom rather than weakness.
• Trust, TPE and red flags in power exchange.
• What filming for Kink.com revealed about fantasy vs reality.
• Erotic belonging, community and finding your people.

Research article: From Fantasy to Communication: BDSM Engagement, Sexual Experience Breadth, and Pleasure Deservingness Among College Women.

VOTE for The Erotic Realm to win best podcast here. Thanks for voting!

Supporters of The Erotic Realm:

• Firm Tech for sexual health tracking here.
• Splash blanket for intimacy-friendly comfort here.
• ProDx Health at home STI testing here.

Innovative Sex Tech:

• Lioness here.
• Kiiroo here.
• Luxus here.
• Lovense here.

Science-backed libido support:

• Flow supplement here.
• Desire supplement here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.