What happens when we stop leaving desire to chance — and start setting intentions for it instead?

The powerful New Year ritual continues with this fourth and final instalment. Three real kinksters, (including the first couple!) step into the studio to openly share their erotic and kink intentions for the year ahead — what they want to explore, deepen, confront, or finally give themselves permission to desire.

And this is only the beginning.

Each of these guests will return at the end of the year so we can reflect on what actually shifted, what surprised them, and what happens when desire is treated as something we can consciously engage with, rather than wait on.

Because we set goals for our careers, relationships, bodies, and finances.

But when it comes to erotic desire, most of us were never taught how to set direction — only how to judge it, suppress it, or worry when it changes.

This episode explores why intentionality matters in erotic psychology, and how attention — not pressure — shapes desire over time.

In this episode:

• Three kinksters (including the first couple!) share their real erotic goals for the year ahead.
• Why desire responds to attention, not force.
• Erotic intention-setting as psychological and relational self-leadership.

Plus: I introduce The Desire Diary — a psychological tool designed to help you track, understand, and work with your desire over time. Available now via this link or simply grab the Softcover here or Hardcover Here.

Set intentions for your own desire and follow this year-long erotic experiment alongside us!

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What if sound, pain, and pleasure were forms of communication — not spectacle?

In this episode I’m joined by LadyRed, host of Interview My Kink. A Leatherwoman, impact switch, and community builder, we explore the psychology of power, sound, and service within kink and leather culture.

We talk about learning pain tolerance, the role of sound in impact play, and how dungeon and leather spaces function as environments for trust, feedback, and erotic self-knowledge. Drawing on sociological research, this conversation reframes BDSM not as pathology, but as a process of embodied learning, identity formation, and community stewardship.

In this episode, we explore:

• Why sound matters in impact play — psychologically and relationally
• How pain teaches body awareness and emotional limits
• Leather as culture, not aesthetic
• Pleasure as a resource that must be stewarded
• Service as an erotic and ethical practice

Research article: Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism (BDSM) Identity Development

dynamics through sexual practice?

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when we stop leaving desire to chance — and start setting intentions for it instead?

The powerful New Year ritual continues with this third instalment. Four real kinksters step into the studio to openly share their erotic and kink intentions for the year ahead — what they want to explore, deepen, confront, or finally give themselves permission to desire.

And this is only the beginning.

Each of these guests will return at the end of the year so we can reflect on what actually shifted, what surprised them, and what happens when desire is treated as something we can consciously engage with, rather than wait on.

Because we set goals for our careers, relationships, bodies, and finances.

But when it comes to erotic desire, most of us were never taught how to set direction — only how to judge it, suppress it, or worry when it changes.

This episode explores why intentionality matters in erotic psychology, and how attention — not pressure — shapes desire over time.

In this episode:

• Four kinksters share their real erotic goals for the year ahead
• Why desire responds to attention, not force
• Erotic intention-setting as psychological and relational self-leadership

Plus: I introduce The Desire Diary — a psychological tool designed to help you track, understand, and work with your desire over time. Available now via this link or simply grab the Softcover here or Hardcover Here.

Set intentions for your own desire and follow this year-long erotic experiment alongside us!

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Sign up to the Her Climax Code Masterclass here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when sadism is approached not as harm, but as ethical power?

In this episode of The Erotic Realm, I’m joined by R1HZ — a humanist Top, compersive sadist, and athletic kinkster — to explore the psychology of ethical sadism, responsibility, and leadership in erotic power exchange.

We discuss the shift from repression to expression, the quiet lives of under-the-radar sadists, and why ethical dominance often mirrors high-functioning leadership in the real world.

In this episode, we explore:

• What happens when two sadists meet.
• Compersive sadism and why pleasure in intensity requires accountability.
• The parallels between athletic training and erotic discipline.
• Why ethical sadists often thrive as leaders, CEOs, and collaborators.
• How consent transforms power into intimacy rather than harm.
• and much more!

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to see what else Emma is up to and reach out via [email protected] to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when we stop leaving desire to chance — and start setting intentions for it instead?

The powerful New Year ritual continues with this second instalment. Four real kinksters step into the studio to openly share their erotic and kink intentions for the year ahead — what they want to explore, deepen, confront, or finally give themselves permission to desire.

And this is only the beginning.

Each of these guests will return at the end of the year so we can reflect on what actually shifted, what surprised them, and what happens when desire is treated as something we can consciously engage with, rather than wait on.

Because we set goals for our careers, relationships, bodies, and finances.

But when it comes to erotic desire, most of us were never taught how to set direction — only how to judge it, suppress it, or worry when it changes.

This episode explores why intentionality matters in erotic psychology, and how attention — not pressure — shapes desire over time.

In this episode:

• Four kinksters share their real erotic goals for the year ahead
• Why desire responds to attention, not force
• Erotic intention-setting as psychological and relational self-leadership

Plus: I introduce The Desire Diary — a psychological tool designed to help you track, understand, and work with your desire over time. Available now via this link or simply grab the Softcover here or Hardcover Here.

Set intentions for your own desire and follow this year-long erotic experiment alongside us!

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Sign up to the Her Climax Code Masterclass here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What makes surrender feel safe — and when does submission become destabilising instead of erotic?

In this episode of The Erotic Realm, Kinkerbell joins M to explore the psychology of desire, power, and erotic trust, focusing on non-degrading submission, clear boundaries, and nervous system safety.

Rather than framing submission as identity or ideology, this conversation centres on how safety creates desire — and why surrender only works when consent is embodied, not just verbal.

In this episode, we explore:

• The psychology of safe surrender and erotic trust

• How boundaries create freedom in power exchange

• Submission without degradation or self-erasure

• Trauma-informed intimacy and nervous system cues

• Erotic writing as emotional regulation

• Desire evolving later in life

Research article: Feminist SM: A contradiction in terms or a way of challenging traditional gendered

dynamics through sexual practice?

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when we stop leaving desire to chance — and start setting intentions for it instead?

This episode opens Season Two of The Erotic Realm with a powerful New Year ritual. Four real kinksters step into the studio to openly share their erotic and kink intentions for the year ahead — what they want to explore, deepen, confront, or finally give themselves permission to desire.

And this is only the beginning.

Each of these guests will return at the end of the year so we can reflect on what actually shifted, what surprised them, and what happens when desire is treated as something we can consciously engage with, rather than wait on.

Because we set goals for our careers, relationships, bodies, and finances.

But when it comes to erotic desire, most of us were never taught how to set direction — only how to judge it, suppress it, or worry when it changes.

This episode explores why intentionality matters in erotic psychology, and how attention — not pressure — shapes desire over time.

In this episode:

• Four kinksters share their real erotic goals for the year ahead
• Why desire responds to attention, not force
• Erotic intention-setting as psychological and relational self-leadership

Plus: I introduce The Desire Diary — a psychological tool designed to help you track, understand, and work with your desire over time. Available now via this link or simply grab the Softcover here or Hardcover Here.

Set intentions for your own desire and follow this year-long erotic experiment alongside us!

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Sign up to the Her Climax Code Masterclass here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Erotic Mind & Why These Moments Matter

In this fourth episode of an end-of-year series, we explore more deeply the concept of peak erotic experiences—those rare, unforgettable moments of desire that linger long after they end and quietly reshape how we understand ourselves.

Drawing on psychologist Jack Morin’s seminal work The Erotic Mind, this episode offers a psychological framework for understanding why certain erotic experiences feel transformative rather than merely pleasurable. Rather than focusing on acts, identities, or techniques, this series explores the inner architecture of desire: tension, risk, power, permission, and altered states of consciousness.

The excerpts you’ll hear across this series are not full stories or performances, but distilled moments—glimpses into how the erotic mind works at its most alive.

In this episode:

• What defines a peak erotic experience.
• Why orgasm or extremity alone don’t explain erotic intensity.
• Jack Morin’s psychological insights into desire, tension, and risk.
• How power, permission, and emotional exposure shape erotic experience.
• 5 peak erotic experiences share by The Erotic Realm podcast guests.

This episode is an invitation to listen slowly, psychologically, and with curiosity—not just to what is said, but to what shifts beneath it.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

• Peak Erotic Experience 1: #27 The Fetish Lens: Erotic Photography & the Art of Visual Desire with Fet-Erotica.
• Peak Erotic Experience 2: #28 Erotic Resistance: Politics of Pleasure & Submissive Power with Auntie Vice.
• Peak Erotic Experience 3: #29 The Whip Master: Ritual, Rhythm & Erotic Precision with Dex.
• Peak Erotic Experience 4: #31 Master MissMarie: 40 Years of Domination, Devotion & Queer Power.
• Peak Erotic Experience 5: #32 The Trans Cuckquean: MelissaBound on Erotic Surrender & Submissive Wisdom.

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Sign up to the Her Climax Code Masterclass here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Erotic Mind & Why These Moments Matter

In this third episode of an end-of-year series, we explore more deeply the concept of peak erotic experiences—those rare, unforgettable moments of desire that linger long after they end and quietly reshape how we understand ourselves.

Drawing on psychologist Jack Morin’s seminal work The Erotic Mind, this episode offers a psychological framework for understanding why certain erotic experiences feel transformative rather than merely pleasurable. Rather than focusing on acts, identities, or techniques, this series explores the inner architecture of desire: tension, risk, power, permission, and altered states of consciousness.

The excerpts you’ll hear across this series are not full stories or performances, but distilled moments—glimpses into how the erotic mind works at its most alive.

In this episode:

• What defines a peak erotic experience.
• Why orgasm or extremity alone don’t explain erotic intensity.
• Jack Morin’s psychological insights into desire, tension, and risk.
• How power, permission, and emotional exposure shape erotic experience.
• 5 peak erotic experiences share by The Erotic Realm podcast guests.

This episode is an invitation to listen slowly, psychologically, and with curiosity—not just to what is said, but to what shifts beneath it.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

• Peak Erotic Experience 1: Erotic Realm Episode 17 here.
• Peak Erotic Experience 2: Erotic Realm Episode 21 here.
• Peak Erotic Experience 3: Erotic Realm Episode 22 here.
• Peak Erotic Experience 4: Erotic Realm Episode 23 here.
• Peak Erotic Experience 5: Erotic Realm Episode 26 here.

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Sign up to the Her Climax Code Masterclass here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What happens when masculinity is no longer defined by control — but by how power is held, shared, or even surrendered?

In this thematic episode, The Erotic Realm explores the second gendered arc to emerge from its first year of conversations: men rethinking dominance, vulnerability, and erotic leadership in a culture that often mistakes sensitivity or submission for weakness.

Drawing on episodes with romantic Dominants, queer sadists, male submissives, and emotionally devoted partners, this episode examines masculinity as an ethical and erotic practice — one that includes authority and surrender.

Male guests speak openly about redefining dominance as responsibility, submission as devotion, and vulnerability as strength — pushing back against cultural narratives that flatten masculinity into performance or aggression.

Following The Feminist Submissives, this episode completes the gendered inquiry within the wider thematic series. Together, these arcs reveal that the erotic psyche is not divided by gender — but by how we relate to power, trust, and care.

• Dominance as stewardship, not entitlement.
• Male submission and vulnerability beyond weakness narratives.
• Challenging performative and “toxic” masculinity models.
• Reflections from the first year of The Erotic Realm.

Guest 1: #26 Healthy Masculinity & Queer Dominance: Biker Bear on Sadism, Power & Play

Guest 2: #34 Master Xtac: The 12 Rules of Power, Leather Tradition & BDSM as a Sexual Orientation

Guest 3: #40 The Humiliated Devotee: Petitmortician on Cuckolding, Worship & the Psychology of Submission.

Guest 4: #24 The Romantic Master: Arcane on Dominance & Devotion in a 24/7 M/s Bond (Part 2 of 2)

Thank you for being part of this journey to support it continuing Subscribe to the Psychology of Desire Substack here.

Sign up to the Her Climax Code Masterclass here.

Apply to be on The Erotic Realm podcast here.

Interested in Kinky Speed Dating? ⁠⁠⁠Register Here.⁠⁠⁠

The Erotic Realm now has it’s own merchandise! If you love the show and want to support it check it out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠psychologyofdesire.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to apply to be on the podcast. I'd love to chat to you.

Thanks for listening!

Stay perverted,

Emma

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.