The Evening Tickler

Gets fast quick, as natural selection is played out in the murky closet at WIOX. Coyote barks at fish, fish bellows at coyote, deer looks on unmoved. Steve and Julian welcome King Mott to the table and gasp in astonishment as he takes to the thesaurus of political science with a chainsaw. Listen to them squeal like schoolgirls as the taxonomy of gender is sliced and diced like scallops on the hibachi. It's the only dining room for a hundred miles around where Christocentric anal intercourse can be deftly twirled round a fork without splattering the wallpaper. Finally somebody squashes the Tickler Brothers' tittering and sends them off to the library with their pants around their ankles ...

Gets fast quick, as natural selection is played out in the murky closet at WIOX. Coyote barks at fish, fish bellows at coyote, deer looks on unmoved. Steve and Julian welcome King Mott to the table and gasp in astonishment as he takes to the thesaurus of political science with a chainsaw. Listen to them squeal like schoolgirls as the taxonomy of gender is sliced and diced like scallops on the hibachi. It's the only dining room for a hundred miles around where Christocentric anal intercourse can be deftly twirled round a fork without splattering the wallpaper. Finally somebody squashes the Tickler Brothers' tittering and sends them off to the library with their pants around their ankles ...

This week finds Steve and Julian shuffling nervously in a forest glade, waiting for Evan the Forager to emerge from the ferns like Bilbo Baggins, milkweed thistle in his beard and a carp in his trousers. Like the Ancient Mariner, he holds them with his skinny hand and they listen like a three years' child. Foraging, it turn out, is a thing. Its firebreaks lead to Brooklyn and storied Viennese publishing houses. Poaching ground-squirrels from the Squire's grouse-moors and Newport butts from the PriceChopper car park? Think again. Evan the Forager will disabuse you. But you will have to put your ear to the forest floor; and listen ... listen ...

This week finds Steve and Julian shuffling nervously in a forest glade, waiting for Evan the Forager to emerge from the ferns like Bilbo Baggins, milkweed thistle in his beard and a carp in his trousers. Like the Ancient Mariner, he holds them with his skinny hand and they listen like a three years' child. Foraging, it turn out, is a thing. Its firebreaks lead to Brooklyn and storied Viennese publishing houses. Poaching ground-squirrels from the Squire's grouse-moors and Newport butts from the PriceChopper car park? Think again. Evan the Forager will disabuse you. But you will have to put your ear to the forest floor; and listen ... listen ...

Never content to be dawdling in the zeitgeist, Tickler Industries inaugurates National Mooch week by making Joe DeSalvo an offer he can't refuse. Finger focaccie, backwashed Lanzarote rosé and an industrial-strength existential colonic over the black vinyl couch at WIOX. Staring down the tunnel of his own destiny, Joey (The Landrover)D turns state's evidence and sings like an altar boy about Bovina, love, fashion and where the bodies were dumped. He now lives in a motel outside Sydney Center under the name Murray Schwartzbaum.

Never content to be dawdling in the zeitgeist, Tickler Industries inaugurates National Mooch week by making Joe DeSalvo an offer he can't refuse. Finger focaccie, backwashed Lanzarote rosé and an industrial-strength existential colonic over the black vinyl couch at WIOX. Staring down the tunnel of his own destiny, Joey (The Landrover)D turns state's evidence and sings like an altar boy about Bovina, love, fashion and where the bodies were dumped. He now lives in a motel outside Sydney Center under the name Murray Schwartzbaum.

With cow shit still encrusted behind its ears The Tickler takes a moment to dip its toe into the shimmering stream of the La Traviata set. Julian, fresh from fopping round Europe like Maria Callas, rejoins La Stupenda Burnett to plunder their operatic myths and those of our own Violetta Valéry, Anita Graf von Schoenborn. Hotels and humans with names like Prussian grocery lists, halcyon days when the yachts pulled out of San Tropez drawn by teams of Nubians leaping from the water, glittering like dolphins. This and more, fueled by crustless nachos and Mike's Hard Lemonade from the Roxbury Sonoco. A reminder that it takes a village, and that every village should have a Schloss.

With cow shit still encrusted behind its ears The Tickler takes a moment to dip its toe into the shimmering stream of the La Traviata set. Julian, fresh from fopping round Europe like Maria Callas, rejoins La Stupenda Burnett to plunder their operatic myths and those of our own Violetta Valéry, Anita Graf von Schoenborn. Hotels and humans with names like Prussian grocery lists, halcyon days when the yachts pulled out of San Tropez drawn by teams of Nubians leaping from the water, glittering like dolphins. This and more, fueled by crustless nachos and Mike's Hard Lemonade from the Roxbury Sonoco. A reminder that it takes a village, and that every village should have a Schloss.

View from the 18th floor. In a departure from the usual panoply of geriatrics and bedwetters, Steve and Julian welcome the veal calves of the Bovina herd to the WIOX salt lick. Winnie Richards and Noah Dougherty, 18 years old and astride the rubicon of adulthood. What fresh hell to have been born at sea and weaned on the Raft of the Medusa? 'Day after day, day after day, we stuck, nor breath nor motion;

as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean'? The Ancient Mariners go after Ship's Boy and Monkey with oven mitts and tongs ...

View from the 18th floor. In a departure from the usual panoply of geriatrics and bedwetters, Steve and Julian welcome the veal calves of the Bovina herd to the WIOX salt lick. Winnie Richards and Noah Dougherty, 18 years old and astride the rubicon of adulthood. What fresh hell to have been born at sea and weaned on the Raft of the Medusa? 'Day after day, day after day, we stuck, nor breath nor motion;

as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean'? The Ancient Mariners go after Ship's Boy and Monkey with oven mitts and tongs ...