The Evolving Man Podcast

Mike Muscari joins me for a discussion about purpose. We talk about how to cut a path in your life that is aligned with your heart’s desire and your mission in the world.

In a world of infinite choice and many voices telling us what we should do, it is all too common to feel lost and directionless in our pursuit of purpose. The process of peeling away the “Shoulds” that have been placed on us by society is not easy. Mike has created a program to guide regular people through the process of uncovering and aligning with their purpose, so they can live an aligned life of fulfillment.

On this episode we cover

• Mike’s personal story of finding success as a financial advisor, and the transformation that followed.
• The mid-life crisis that comes as a result of pursuing the illusion of success
• The power of writing down your goals and dreams
• Personal Development - learning about who you really are
• Creating purpose for your life will create a ripple of change
• The fear of change and our tendency to stay safe
• How to use a “faith-based approach” to address fear
• Purpose = Not what do you want to do, but WHO do you want to be in the world? 
• Using your purpose to guide your choices
• Choosing the meaning for everything that happens in your life
• Inside-out approach VS an outside in approach
• The Purpose Method - uncovering one’s deepest values
• How to ask the right questions to reveal the themes that point to your purpose
• Resources in creating your own Purpose Constitution
• The purpose of the purpose method - Uncovering your highest and deepest values so you can live without regrets
• Creating a statement that guides your life
• Mike's upcoming trip across North America to interview people about purpose

Books and resources

1. Think And Grow Rich - by Napoleon Hill
2. 17 Principles Of Success - by Napoleon Hill
3. Wayne Dyer’s work on Purpose
4. Dan Millman’s Books - peacefulwarrior.com/books/

Mike's Links

Website - Thepurposemethod.org

Instagram - instagram.com/thepurposemethod/

Mike's (amazing) Lyposomal Vitamin Company - Nano Nutra

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Its time to talk about purpose and fulfillment on the Evolving Man podcast. Jordan Gray- a sex and relationship coach who has written 10 books - joins me for an in-depth talk about how to find your unique gift and fullfill your dreams. We all face these big questoins in our lives: 

"What am I here to do?"
"How can I do that thing I'm passionate about?"
"When should I make the move? "

When you're asking these questions, Jordan is the man with the fuel to dump on your fire. He helps his clients find their passion, find their 'why', and remove the barriers holding them back. He has written 500+ articles on relationships, sex, emotional intelligence, and masculinity, and he drops a whole dump truck of enthusiastic passion on this episode. 

We all want to live a life where we're creating every day and serving a cause that fulfills us. So many of us get stuck in the start-up phase of a new venture, facing obstacles like analysis paralysis, self-doubt, unrealistic expectations, and loss of energy. These things get in the way of achieving our goals, and they often keep us stuck in a “safe” position. We're left wondering how to get over the initial minefield of roadblocks that get in the way of our progress, stuck in a life of mediocrity.

If you want to dig deeper in to your purpose, find more passion in your life, and life a life of greatness, this one is for you. We'll outline the do's and don'ts of creating something that you’re passionate about.

If you need a pep talk to get you started on that thing you've been delaying forever, listen to this episode on repeat.  

On this episode we cover:

• Creating a life where your work is your passion. It is possible for YOU.
• The trap of looking for the ultimate 'trick or hack' to get successful ASAP
• The Do's and Don'ts of starting a business centred around your passion
• "Abundance mindset" VS "scarcity mindset"
• The Lone Wolf - trading humility and relationship for ego, fast success, and isolation.
• Collaboration - the key ingredient in exponentially increasing the success of your endeavours.
• The paradox of success - the goal you thought you wanted was actually just a milestone on your path
• The antidote to lacklustre goal achievement - choosing larger more "unachievable" goals 
• Start-up energy expenditure and how to deal with it
• The power of isolated lazer-focus 
• The dangers of spreading yourself too thin
• Finding right things to focus on - aligning with your values
• Making space in your life for new results
• Inner work - overcoming the belief that you do not deserve success
• The two major ways that we sabotage our own progress - overinflation (narcissism) and underinflation (self-deprecation).
• Collusion - a way that we hold each other down and keep each other blind because we're afraid to be honest.
• The value of authentic relationships in finding the Truth in your life
• The danger of piggy-backing and copying the success of others
• Competing with yourself - Rather than competing and comparing to others - how other competitors and comparison will take you off target. 
• Faith (the non-religious kind) - the antidote to the fear that holds you back. 
• Finding a passion that aligns with your values, and pursuing it in a sustainable way.

This episode is packed full of useful quotes, inspirational tidbits, and loaded with wisdom for those who want to step further in to bringing their unique gifts to the world. Please share this with your friends and family who need it. We all need some motivation, inspiration, and a gentle push in the direction of our ultimate creation. 

You can find Jordan Gray at - Jordan Gray Consulting

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Robert Kandell, host of the Tuff Love podcast joins me for a conversation about how to have authentic relationships in business, social, and with romantic partners. 
Bringing "tough love" and having tough conversations is not easy, and often uncomfortable, but the payoffs for the quality of your relationships is huge. 

Robert has a new book our called unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them, and you can find that (and pre-order) on his website.

Quick reference for this show, we cover:

• The Junkyard dog - a real archetype that the world needs
• How to improve your self-esteem and find freedom
• How men remain hidden in the world
• Robert's 8 step process for UnHiding:
  1. Confront - face the uncomfortable reality you've been avoiding
  2. Investigate - explore that reality. Find answers. Find sanity.
  3. Commit - Make a decision to DO something
  4. Design a strategy - make it achievable, don't white-knuckle it
  5. Complete the milestone - complete the cycle
  6. Celebrate - Actually celebrate, physically.
  7. Debrief - find our where you can restructure
  8. Repeat - Do another cycle
• Why a man would consider quitting porn. 
• How to have a "tough love" conversation
• The secret to releasing the tension of that thing you've been withholding: Apology

Robert's Bio:

Robert Kandell has spent the last 20 years helping people re-energize their lives and build better relationships and sex through more honest and authentic connection and communication.

After building a successful consulting firm in San Francisco, he then took his business acumen and co-founded One Taste (orgasmic meditation) with Nicole Daedone in 2004. Taking on the challenging task of bringing conscious sexuality to the mainstream market, Robert built the company from a paper napkin sketch to an 8-figure international corporation. He left OneTaste in 2014 to start his own consulting firm, Kandell Consulting, which helps small businesses become marketable and profitable.

Robert is also an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer with over 400 workshops under his belt. He also brings his enthusiasm and passion to his weekly podcast, Tuff Love podcast on subjects around relationships, intimacy, sex, communication and gender dynamics.

He also has written a book titled unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them
which will be released November 15th this year.

robertkandell.com - preorder the book

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Robert Kandell, host of the Tuff Love podcast joins me for a conversation about how to have authentic relationships in business, social, and with romantic partners. 

Bringing "tough love" and having tough conversations is not easy, and often uncomfortable, but the payoffs for the quality of your relationships is huge. 

Robert has a new book our called unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them, and you can find that (and pre-order) on his website.

Quick reference for this show, we cover:

The Junkyard dog - a real archetype that the world needs

How to improve your self-esteem and find freedom

How men remain hidden in the world

Robert's 8 step process for UnHiding:

Confront - face the uncomfortable reality you've been avoiding

Investigate - explore that reality. Find answers. Find sanity.

Commit - Make a decision to DO something

Design a strategy - make it achievable, don't white-knuckle it

Complete the milestone - complete the cycle

Celebrate - Actually celebrate, physically.

Debrief - find our where you can restructure

Repeat - Do another cycle

Why a man would consider quitting porn. 

How to have a "tough love" conversation

The secret to releasing the tension of that thing you've been withholding: Apology

Robert's Bio:

Robert Kandell has spent the last 20 years helping people re-energize their lives and build better relationships and sex through more honest and authentic connection and communication.

After building a successful consulting firm in San Francisco, he then took his business acumen and co-founded One Taste (orgasmic meditation) with Nicole Daedone in 2004. Taking on the challenging task of bringing conscious sexuality to the mainstream market, Robert built the company from a paper napkin sketch to an 8-figure international corporation. He left OneTaste in 2014 to start his own consulting firm, Kandell Consulting, which helps small businesses become marketable and profitable.

Robert is also an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer with over 400 workshops under his belt. He also brings his enthusiasm and passion to his weekly podcast, Tuff Love podcast on subjects around relationships, intimacy, sex, communication and gender dynamics.

He also has written a book titled unHIDDEN: A Book for Men and Those Confused by Them

which will be released November 15th this year.

robertkandell.com - preorder the book

One of my favorite mentors, Phil Teertha Mistlberger joins me on the show to illuminate and discuss "the dark side of the masculine". 

In a time where Toxic Masculinity is a common concept - and the outright rejection of that term being equally as prevalent - we need to have a productive conversation that helps us find our way to the other side. 

Phil guides us in the direction of seeing the polarities of life and how we can use them to become fully integrated human beings. For men who want to learn about how to engage shadow work, this episode is for you. 

On this episode, we cover:

• Toxic Masculinity
• Wounding - the unmentored young man
• The story of Saturn - the tyranical male
• Why men fear success
• Unhealthy competition between men: How boys are often raised competing with each other for approval and attention
• The father vacuum - when a boy doesn't have enough contact with the father
• A man's resistance to power and success
• How unhealed relationships with power figures in your life holds you back
• Why men get stuck when they are full of tallent
• How to focus your attention to to counteract 21st Century Distracted Man Syndrome
• The extremes of competitiveness: extreme competitiveness, and denying it alltogether
• Shadow aspects VS the dark masculine forces
• Vanity and Pride as the two pillars of the ego
• Donald Trump - a poster boy for the dark father guru archetype; intollerance of criticism
• How your ego can co-opt your "personal growth" work, and use it against the world
• The key to discovering your shadow without being fooled by it --> Being witnessed by other men. 
• How to break through your ego in a support group by seeking to give rather than receive. 
• Why you need other people to do good shadow work
• 2 functions of a men's group: support, and leadership training
• Revealing the King inside you - learning what you have to give
• Why it is easier to receive feedback from a peer group than it is to receive feedback from your romantic partner. 
• Why some guys trigger you more than others 
• How to do shadow work on your own - be accountable for the people and the patterns that are in your life. The contrasts are there because you crave them.
• Befriending your shadow
• The dark side of the hero archetype
• Why engage in your inner work if your romantic partner isn't interested in it?

Teertha's Books 

• The Inner Light
• A Rude Awakening - Perils, pitfalls, and hard truths of the spiritual path. 
• The Three Dangerous Magi
• The Way of the Conscious Warrior, out early 2019

Teertha's Website - www.ptmistlberger.com

Samurai Brotherhood - samuraibrotherhood.com

 

 

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Mark Groves is a relationship and communication coach. We've previously discussed How To Be A Man , and wanted to dive in to the concept of "Holding Space". This is often regarded as something that is done in romantic relationships, where one partner sits with another while they are having an emotional process.

We outline the long definition of holding space, and the steps you can take to learn how to do it.

On this episode we cover:

• Resistance to getting feedback from your partner.
• What is Holding Space: Presence, compassion, open-ness.
• Consent - the importance of acknowledging that both people are ready and willing.
• Boundaries - saying "no" when you're not able to hold space.
• Step 1 - check in with yourself, see if you're ready and able
• Men's ability to connect to their own emotions
• How to find out what you're not good at
• The best way to learn how to connect to your emotions
• The art of separating your feelings from your partner's
• Step 2 - Prepare your inner space and open your heart
• Heart opening meditation. Not that hard. 
• Self talk to help yourself be ready for space holding
• Bypassing and our tendency to look for shortcuts
• The quickest way through an emotion is to lean in to it.
• How to build trust: Rigorous honesty and personal boundaries. 
• Step 3 - Accept the role, or say “no” and set a boundary
• Step 4 - Hold it
• Step 5 - Validate, Reflect. 
• The results of successful space holding - closeness and ego dissolution

How to find Mark:
Instagram: @createthelove
Website: markgroves.tv

Connor Beaton’s article on Holding Space

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Dr. Joe Tafur has a unique story. While in medical school, in the midst of a low-point in his emotional life, he encountered the world of plant medicines through Peyote (and subsequently Ayahuasca) and found a whole other world-view of healing. After finishing medical school, he split his time between studying plant medicines in the jungle of Peru and practicing medicine in the United States. He is now a shaman, an author, and a doctor, sharing a unique view of healing that encompasses the physical along with the spiritual. 

Joe's book, The Fellowship Of The River tells Joe's story along with other stories of shamans clearing up conditions like Chrones, Diabetes, Psoriasis, Addiction, and Trauma with plant medicines. He eloquently describes the methods shaman's use, and what parts of the body are being affected. Healing occurs at the level of DNA and epigenetics.

In this episode we discuss:

• Joe's book at its connection to The Cosmic Serpent, a book about healing at the level of one's DNA, and how Shaman's take their consciousness down to that level using Ayahuasca
• The link between emotional healing and physical healing
• Genes and the programming in them that interfaces with the environment, the epi-genome
• How environmental imprints can cause illness that looks "genetic" and permanent.
• Proof of how the epigenome can store and carry memories from one generation to the next. 
• How trauma is stored in the body and needs to be released
• LOVE as the most powerful force for healing and health.
• The number 1 factor in healing through therapy
• Phenomenon: Mystical experiences healing physical addictions --> The spiritual solution
• The Psycho-Neuro-Endocrine-Immunologic network - the mind-body network that connects the mental, emotional, and spiritual.
• The role of spiritual healing in modern health care 
• Joe's project to track epigenetic shifts in the physiology of participants in the MAPS trials that are happening with PTSD and MDMA healing. 

The Modern Spirit Project - modernspirit.org

Joe's Website - drjoetafur.com

Find Joe's book here on Amazon

Joe will be speaking at the Psychedelic Psychotherapy Forum in Victoria in October 2018

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"How do I help my sister/uncle/friend with his/her addiction? How can I support them without 'enabling' them?"

I get this question all the time, and the answer isn't simple, so I did a solocast to give this subject the long answer it deserves. This podcast is for those of you who have a loved-one or a close friend who is struggling with an addiction. 

On this episode I cover:

• How to assess how ready someone is to change their behavior
• Ways to support someone who isn't yet contemplating quitting
• How to support someone who is ready to quit and make a change
• The balance of maintaining relationship while having boundaries
• Addiction as a physical, emotional, and spiritual illness
• Treating addiction from a "holistic" perspective
• The power of environment and social group on an addict
• The power of "hitting bottom" and what it means and how it works
• Interventions and sharing honestly about how someone's behavior affects you
• Stacking factors in an intervention to create a breakthrough for an addict
• Ego and its relationship to addiction
• Group recovery and the power of recovering together
• The power of 12 step programs - Fellowship + Structured Spiritual Program
• Objections to the 12 step program and classic smoke-screens
• The core of recovery: Community that supports recovery + spiritual principles
• Healing trauma as a path to healing the addiction
• Ayahuasca, Psilocybin, Ibogane and other psychedelics for treating addiction and healing trauma. 
• "The Environmental Cure" and changing location to start over
• How to leverage your relationship with someone to help them in crucial moments

Resources to explore: 
Dr. Gabor Mate's work

Dr. McCauley's presentation as addiction as a dis-ease

 

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Mark Groves, The Human Connection Specialist, joins me for another conversation about masculinity, relationships, and healing our wounds as a group. 

Mark provides no BS relationship advice to men and women, drawing on his many years of experience and studies of relationships. He brings his blunt, funny, and outspoken style to our conversation. 

On this episode, we discuss:

• Intro - Mark's Upcoming Podcast
• What "Be A Man" Means
• The old "masculinity". Time to redefine it.
• Childhood trauma, circumcision, and fighting for whats right
• "Men's Rights" - Why its not okay to speak about it
• The school system and why "all boys have ADD"
• The making of the "Nice Guy syndrome"
• How modern conflict-avoidant men end relationships
• The shaming of men, and how it wounds men further
• Shaming men for being sensitive
• How to build an emotionally cut-off man
• How not talking about sex makes our sex culture worse
• The "Me Too" movement and how it is a part of our healing
• Criticism and our critical culture
• Masculine and Feminine traits
• Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Femininity 
• Societal shadow issues
• Holding space at an individual level, and societal level
• Men - learning to express emotion
• Leaning in to The New Masculinity 
• The Masters Of The Universe Summit

Mark's Instagram - @createthelove
Mark's Website - markgroves.tv
The MOTU Website - motusummit.com

 

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Gerald Thomas is a researcher and policy maker at the British Colubia Ministry of Health. He is the director of alcohol, tobacco, cannabis and gambling policy for the region. Despite working on government policy, he is not an average government worker. He has sat in ceremony with Ayahuasca and was also the head of the first observational study on Ayahuasca in the country which had quantitative and qualitative elements. 

Gerald has been on the forefront of some of the psychedelic medicine research over the past decade and has built his own relationship with the substances he studies. His heart centered approach coupled with his passion for science and discovery makes him a powerful agent for change in the way we view drugs and plant medicines. 

On this episode we cover:

• Cannabis policy and standards in the province
• The Ayahuasca research that changed the landscape
• How trauma is stuck in the body
• Why treating PTSD is so difficult
• How psychedelics like Ayahuasca can heal trauma
• Trust - as the key to facilitating healing
• Being comfortable with discomfort - another key to healing trauma & addictions
• Plant consciousness and Plant Spirits
• Psychedelic Assisted Therapy
• Healing trauma through feeling what hasn't been felt
• Soul Loss - losing a piece of yourself during a traumatic event
• Soul Retrieval - getting those pieces back
• Presence - Learning to stay present so healing can occur
• Tapping in to Flow as a guide in life
• Natural ways to connect to your source - Kundalini yoga, meditation, and breath work.
• Triggers of trauma and how to work with them
• The Crisis of the Heart we are facing now, and the call to healing
• The Fixing Culture - the tendency to commodify medicines

Professional Bio: Gerald Thomas is a Collaborating Scientist with the Centre for Addictions Research of BC, an Adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at University of British Columbia, and owner/operator of Okanagan Research Consultants. He received his Ph.D. in political science from Colorado State University in 1998 and has worked in the area of Canadian addiction policy since 2004. He served on the secretariat of the working group that created Canada’s first National Alcohol Strategy in 2007, worked on several national and provincial level projects related to substance use and addiction​, and has published numerous peer-reviewed papers with leading researchers in the field. He lives with his family near Qualicum Beach, British Columbia, where he enjoys a variety of outdoor pursuits including mountain biking, hiking, and windsurfing.

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