The Ewing Barbecue Podcast

S3, E05 The Kristin Affair

Kristin has her eyes on her big sister's husband, JR. JR is totally into a 19 year old having eyes on him. Sue Ellen is going to burn this whole town to the ground.

JR is also trying to drill for oil in the literal sense (in addition to the metaphorical one...). Since Cliff is cockblocking all his efforts in Texas, he decides to take the risk to bid on some oil fields in Asia. He's having some trouble raising the funds to bid though... 

Pam finally tells Bobby she's pregnant, but only because she had no choice. 

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S3, E04 Secrets

Valene is back in town and Lucy does not give AF. Lucy is finally starting to be able to vocalize her issues, like: my parents abandoned me to a family that never pays attention to me and the only attention I ever get is from creepy old men who could be my father, yet, because of my Daddy Issues I continually have inappropriate sexual relationships with them! And... she is correct. I mean, Lucy doesn't put ALL those dots together yet... but she's really starting to see the light and we're proud of her! Of course, JR finds out Valene is in town. That dude is OBSESSED with her! WTF?! Meanwhile, Pam finds out she's pregnant about 5 minutes after learning that, because of a genetic disease Digger is dying of, Pam's baby has a pretty high chance of dying before it's a year old. They won't know if they baby is sick until it's 4 to 6 months old though. Heartbreaking from all aspects! So, does she take the chance or medically manage the pregnancy? Seems like something she should be talking to Bobby about, doesn't it? Nope. Girl just runs around freaking out and never gaddam tells him until she's forced to tell him she's pregnant because he knows her obgyn has called. SIGH! 

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S3, E03 Silent Killer

Sue Ellen's mom and sister Kristin come to Dallas to visit baby John Ross. While the Ewings are picking them up at the airport, Cliff is picking up his dad Digger. Awkward! More awkward is that both Digger and Kristin are being played by different actors now. At the Ranch, Kristin spends all her time eavesdropping and getting all the dirt on the drama happening there. What could go wrong? On the other side of town, Digger isn't feeling well and collapses in Cliff's new apartment. Digger sees a doctor for the first time in 30 years and learns he has a genetic disease that is killing him. Bummer is that both Cliff and Pam would be carriers, which means any child they had could have this disease, which often kills children before age one. The doctor tries to make them feel better, "Well, it's a good thing you didn't have any children yet, Cliff!" Cliff: LOOKS DIRECTLY IN CAMERA. 

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S3, E02 Whatever Happened to Baby John, Part 2

Baby John has been kidnapped, y'all! I mean, honestly, it seems to be what happens when you're a Ewing, so you might as well get it over early, right? Everyone is a suspect! Cliff! Ames and Garr! Randos calling in! Cliff and Bobby argue a lot, but end up teaming up to break a lot of HIPPA rules. 

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S2, E12 Fallen Idol

Bobby's BFF from college Guzzler shows up out of the blue. Pam is NOT impressed! They stay out all night drinking, sexually harass waitresses and basically act like a couple of douchecanoe dude bros. Pam is even MORE unimpressed - MOSTLY after Guzzler hits on her... several times. Guzzler also hits on 17 year old Lucy. *serious side eye* Pam and JR actually agree on something for the first time - Guzzler is a dick and needs to go. JR is mostly concerned because Guzzler is trying to get Bobby to build a shopping center on Section 40 of Southfork! He quickly finds out that Guzzler is a con artist.

The actor who played Guzzler, Richard Kelton, unfortunately died before this episode even aired, as he was killed from accidental carbon monoxide poisoning in his trailer while on a film set. Poor one out for Richard!  

This episode was recorded on a Friday Night (Dallas night!) so the alcohol was flowing. Join us, won't you? 

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S3, E1 Whatever Happened to Baby John Part 1

Season 3 PREMIERE!!!!  The show has a bigger budget we can TELL! 

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The one where Sue Ellen breaks out of the institution, steals a car and runs into a tree! Oh, and John Ross is born. 

Sue Ellen has been committed. Girl is NOT happy about it! She's lounging in her own pity party whilst wearing pearls and panty hose in her room. Shady nurse takes advantage and trades her booze in a mouth wash bottle for her pearl necklace (and you know those babies are real!) She won't see JR and 100% loses it when Bobby comes to see her. She ends up sneaking out, stealing a gaddam car and getting into the most ridiculous accident in the world.

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The one where Sue Ellen is institutionalized.

Sue Ellen is in her 7th month of pregnancy, and 7th drink of the day... and it's 2pm. Girl is drankin' in the parking lot of her Ob/gyn appointment from a flask! It's... not great, Bob. Luckily for Sue Ellen, people in the 70s didn't seem to think drinking whilst pregnant is all that bad (WHAT?!). But when her doc calls her out on being wasted at her appointment, she's finally warned to sober up. Sue Ellen is all, "do you EVEN know who I am?" *serious side-eye* This is the episode before the season finale, so everything is starting to hit the fan. Also, Lucy masks her sadness with some mysterious red pills that make her messed up and HILARIOUS! We think maybe they're Quaaludes, but since we are too young to really know what quaaludes are... who knows! Also, prepare for some Queen Miss Ellie action! Girl has finally had ENOUGH! 

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Season 2, Episode 22: The Outsiders

Original Airdate: 16 March 1979

Written by Leonard Katzman 

Directed by Dennis Donnelly 

The one where Ray meets Donna.  

The Ewings are having trouble with both Cliff Barnes at the OLM and the Mainwaring family (guess they're mad about Lucy "calling off the wedding...." *eye roll*) So, they enlist the help of Senator Sam Culver. Sam, who is old as FAQ, is married to Bobby's college friend Donna - age 28. (We have some questions...)

Drama ensues!

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Cool IG account to follow: cattlemansclub