The Fame Fatale

When it comes to red carpet events, Hollywood is kinda like India: There's a caste system. The brahmins at the top get to arrive whenever they want, diss whoever they want, talk to the masses, or not. And the untouchables--fledgling pop singers, wannabe reality sensations, regional beauty queens--scrape and hustle for whatever they can get. A lot goes on behind the scenes of a movie premiere or awards-show arrival schedule. And in this, my latest episode, I break it all down: Why do you hear from some stars when others remain silent? Why does one star arrive 30 minutes earlier than another if they're in the same movie? And why was McDreamy ever relegated to the untouchables category?

What else can you look forward to in this edition? How about...

Have a listen.

Well, look at that. We're at our 61st episode already. That's no small feat, given that I'm starting to rack up mortal enemies. Take the film office for a certain southwestern metropolis, for example. I hear that someone over there considers me formidable, or, at least, enough of a threat to shut out my sources down there. I feel so important!

This week's co-host is Friend o' the Show Clint Wells, who, for reasons yet unclear, has decided to play the Kim Kardashian Hollywood mobile game until he either reaches A-list status or spends all his money. Thinking of picking up the game yourself? Be warned. It's addictive. And not necessarily in a good way. Let Clint fill you in.

Also!

Have a listen.

Welcome to Episode 60 of my show!

A listener has written in asking why "all" of the celebrities are currently on Ibiza, that sexy Mediterranean island that features eight Scandinavian models for every fake Rockefeller in a sweaty silk shirt. In this latest episode, I reject the premise of this question. "All" of the celebrities are not currently in Ibiza. All of the single, horny celebrities with an Instagram account are in Ibiza. And they're attracting others of their kind. It's kind of like Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; they're building they're own little nation out there, and the rest of us are just endangered humans whose only advantage is higher cognitive brain function.

Also!

Wondering why Hollywood is foisting two Hercules movies on us at the same time? Why not one Hercules movie, one Ajax the Lesser movie? Why not throw Orpheus a bone, for chrissakes? Turns out, Hollywood has a long history of releasing two movies with the same theme at the same time. And there are reasons for that. I reveal 'em.

Plus!

I get to the bottom of what I call the Endless Tentpole Mystery. You tell me whether it's a conspiracy. (It's a total conspiracy.)

And finally!

I explain, once and for all, why you should never, ever feel sorry for a celebrity who gets photographed by paparazzi after getting her hair did.

Have a listen.

That's a long headline up there. Deal with it. It's a jam-packed podcast, and that's what happens when you record a jam-packed podcast that's jam-packed with jammy-packy dish.

For instance: My co-host this week is none other than Harmony Walton of the Bridal Bar, the celebrity wedding planning company that knows more secrets about star nuptials than pretty much every other person on the planet. You all wrote in with questions about said weddings: Do stars really marry for profit? Who really handles their guest lists? How many marriages are fake? 

And we answer. So there's that. 

Plus! One of you wanted to know if anything really worth your time happened at Comic-Con. I found precisely two things.

And! The next time your officemate insists that Kim Kardashian's new mobile game is set to make $200 million, tell your officemate to shut her dirty, lying mouth, because it's not even close to true. And I have the numbers to back that claim up.

Enjoy.

No they're not. But in my latest podcast, my co-host delves deep into the world of fake documentaries, particularly Animal Planet's amazing two-part "scientific" series that drew millions of Americans in the wild, wonderful and completely fake world of fish people. The Nerd Out's Lisa Jenkins admits she's kinda mesmerized by what Animal Planet has accomplished...and reveals just how devious such shows can be.

Plus!

A listener writes in to ask whether anyone who has ever worked as a production assistant ever gets anywhere in this cruel business of show. The answer is: Yes. There is hope for you, Mother of a Son Who Just Quit College and Moved to Los Angeles.

Also!

We ponder why tentpole movies seem to be getting longer. Or are they? Or do I maybe need to do more research on this?

 And!

We introduce a new segment bound to please fans of horror or genre TV in general. And Jenkins offers a basketful of celebrity sightings. (If you're headed to Los Angeles and are wondering where the smart celebs really go hiking, this is the episode for you.)

Have a listen.

The Emmy nominations are out! And they're as confusing and poorly reasoned as an episode of The Strain! 

But fret not, TV watchers. You have questions about why the nominations came down the way they did, and I have answers. This whole episode is dedicated to your queries about the 66th Annual Emmy Awards. Bonus points to me for managing to mention Murder She Wrote, Cher and Julia Duffy in an episode that–I swear–was taped in 2014. Yesterday, in fact.

Wondering how Martin Freeman qualifies as a supporting actor for Sherlock but as a lead in Fargo? I found out for you. 

Confounded by the fact that Jon Hamm looks like he does, and acts like he does, and still has no Emmys? There's a reason for that. And I deliver it unto you.

Or maybe you're just in the mood for a truly greedy little blind item. I've got a great one for you this week. Short version: TV hosts aren't exactly brilliant in the math department.

Enjoy.

Happy week of Fourth of July! Nothing says American independence like showing up at a synagogue and strippin’ down, amiright, fellow patriots? This week’s podcast features a nifty celebrity sighting that, if not red or white, is certainly blue. Find out which star recently shot a film at a synagogue, and used one of the offices as a changing room before settling down and taking a good old, all-American nap under the congregation’s tree.

Plus!

Casting expert Bonnie Gillespie of Cricket Feet explains the likely real reason why we won’t be seeing Zendaya Coleman play Aaliyah in that upcoming Lifetime biopic. (Hint: It’s got nothing to do with fan backlash or skin color.)

And!

A listener writes in asking if we’ll ever see another episode of Cosmos again. (Another hint: The universe doesn’t really update all that fast.)

Have a listen, my fellow Yankees!

I’m back with a brand-new podcast, people! For those of you who voiced concern over the utterly vicious, Uruk-Hai army of a head cold I had last week—and to those three of you, thank you—know that I am back. I am alive. I am ready to, once again, answer your questions about what’s really going on in show business.

As promised, this week I dig deeper into the Hollywood Black List, the annual survey of the most popular scripts that, for whatever reason, have yet to make it to the big screen. As Black List founder Franklin Leonard tells me this week, if you’ve been to the movies recently, chances are, you’ve seen a Black List script. Why do so many future Oscar-winning films end up on the Black List? Wouldn’t a project with Oscar potential shoot straight to the top of the production schedule? You’d be surprised. Listen to learn more.

Also!

Have a listen! I’ll be over here. Hacking up a lung. No, no. Go. Go on without me. Save yourselves.

If you've ever wondered why so many pop stars like to compare themselves to slaves–I'm looking at you, Prince–this is the episode for you. Yes, famous musicians are insanely rich, so rich that they can wear mountie hats made by Vivienne Westwood and not lose any of their friends.

But that doesn't mean that record labels are beneficent overlords. They're pretty cut-throat when it comes to money, actually. Spurred on by listener James L. and assisted by music industry vet Lisa Jenkins (co-host of The Nerd Out), I dig deep into the cesspool of the music industry to explain precisely how cut-throat we're talkin'.

Also this week: Another listener wrote in to ask what this here Hollywood Black List is all about. So I answer that question too.

But maybe you're not into the music industry. Maybe you don't care about record labels. Or black lists. Maybe you don't even care about Prince, which would make you a hater of America and all things funky, by the way.

Maybe–maybe–all you care about are dudes in gold sequined pants. If that's the case, you have something in common with a certain Saturday Night Live alumna who happened to hang out on a stage with my co-host earlier this month. My co-host was wearing gold sequined pants at the time, see, the very garment you see in this photo. And then....

Oh, just listen, already. It's pure–well, gold.

This week I promised you a podcast jam-packed with answers to your burning Hollywood questions, and here it is. Red carpet reporter and reality TV obsessive Lawrence Yee joins me for this episode, in which…

It’s all ready for you.