I been telepathically programming bitches

To mimick this addictive obsession with [Expletive]

If anything just to hop up on his dicks in

Get his attention

And end his

Ahem

Apparently awful//awesome marriage edits in multidimensions, for the unmentionable shit that might just hit too close to home, for some

What

Be a parent to your son,

They said

I said,

Hey, man

I'm just a dear old dad with bad habits

It's a trap, you know!

You can't trust us bitches

I took pictures of this bitches ass

To put on top of the dead presidents

Hell yes, I said

Get dressed man,

It isn't hygienic,

All that shit we just did,

Remember?

I live in a trash can!

(It's a dumpster but)

[IT's actually really nice in here, what the fuck]

Damn, alright what is that

Idk

#RIPJImmyFallon

I was fasting like a maniac when that hashtag happened

You just can't come back from that,

You just can't ever

Get back to the dad joke

The man told.

That pulled you out of that last fast,

Like I did

From that man whole!

FLAGPOLE

FLAGPOLE

—what?

OHFD.

*OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

-The Rock And The Kite

As told by

Who's that guy

Uh.

TESTPILOT.

I need some sages

And stages

And sages in this bitch!

I need some

Pages and

Playlists and

Paiges in this bitch

It just goes

On an on for days,

This just gets crazy in this bitch

Can't say

Expletives because peacock is paying for this bitch!

Nevermind,

Lets just do Netflix?

Pass.

Amazon Prime?

This costs too much for us

I'll do this : every dime I own,

Will go straight up your but

I

Is that an innuendo for ‘anal.plug'

No, don't be gross!

But I'm supposed to be gross

(Going back and forth with Alec Baldwin)

You win.

Win WHAT

You're the best.

All your brothers are the off-awkward versions of you.

*YES*.

30+ Rock

ID please.

Here you go.

Sorry. No go.

What do you mean.

We're 21.

I'm actually 23, but.

No can do.

This lounge is 30 Plus

30 PLUS?

WHATTHEPLUG.

Yup.

Sorry kiddos.

I'mfilthyDRUNK.

I'm an ADULT.

Pfft. That's what you think.

Are you serious!?

Serious as a heart attack; which,

I'm at higher risk of actually having,

Because I'm allowed in here. So

Consider yourself lucky!

PSH! I could have a heart attack if I want to!

PSHH.

PSHHHHHHHH.

Hold your liquor, punk!

I'll hold you—all night long!I

—see you in like a decade!

PSSSHSHUTUP.

Shh. C'mon, lets go.

Apparently, though

According to some voice inside,

He's miserable

I call it insertinct*

Or psychic inclinations,

But perhaps that just my

Hormonal fluctuations

And high hopes to open up a portal

And jump into some

Seriously self deprecating behavior,

Or some other alien shit

Who the fuck can say, anyway

You can't say any of these things publicly

-1And actually expect to get away with them.

You're just an asshole,

That's a whole ass scandal waiting to happen

I'll just light a candle and pray about it

“God will work it out,” I said

I'll just keep working out

Avoiding bread, and figure out how to get out of debt

Maybe crowdfunding?

Somebody wake him up, yet?

Nope, nothin.

Mm. Poptarts.

That's why I called it

“The Allegory of [Redacted]” after all

He's practically infinite except for

That part

And-1

That's that nigga!

Are you sure.

Fuck yeah,

JIMMY FALLOn(s)

Fuck you, dude.

SUNNI BLU (shrugging)

Whatever.

All they played was Fallon in the pen, bro.

Really?

YeahYeah. And Sesame Street. And he even on THAT mo'fucker.

Aight.Aight. you want ‘em.

I got ‘em.

Straight shot?

Straight and clean.

Aight, then.

Well, alright then.

[JIMMY FALLON is shot in a driveby.]

“First Person Shooter”

First person shooter is a live action open world game where.

{BLAT}

OH NO.

AHAHA.

Wait. The guns are REAL?

The whole world's in slow motion.

Nobody's supposed to know this kind of stuff, you know—

Nobody's supposed to go there

–I hope she doesn't post or publish this anywhere.

Sure, that's what they all say,

But hey, you could never love me anyway

I'm on my way up

I'm on my way up to Heaven

Fuck this

It's just this shit

Over and over again

All for the sake of the artform,

All of up in arms,

No comfort

non conformist,

With no money

and no hopes left,

Just a bunch of

Too much, conscious

And time on her hands

Shes got

One hand on the gun

Underworld

The other on the Trigger

Which means

Each hand has a gun in it

Gun in it

Gun in it

EXT. MEXICO. DAY

[Crying inconsolably in a hammock]

COSMIC AVENGER

(as a bird)

I WILL AVENGE THIS!!!!!

Man, I miss that bird,

I wonder if he ever sings

“I miss that girl”

Gosh, he followed me everywhere

I loved to hear him there,

Even when I moved,

He found me

Must have been God in that bird

Must have been God on that mountain

talking some shit about

Jimmy Fallon

–That was a long fast.

(The fucking longest)

My veins, they ached

At least a week, I think

Some haloed being,

Urging me to urgently

just spill the blood

for sweet relief,

Wavering, I needed something

Soothing, pleading

Leaning in my weakness

Back and forth ,

And that was when

The fascination displayed

With affection the affliction

of infliction and in reflection

of James turned Patrick

Her turned to the successor

He returned up to the surface

The servitor became the alter

After all and only in ever after
The Procter, A doctor astonished him

In neverland, somewhere beyond Asension

Where the story starts and ends,

Here.

Oh man.

This Jimmy Fallon dude is gonna fucking hate me

Who is that again?

I don't fucking know, honestly.

Hello, John.

Woah.

Don't open this box.

Okay.

woah , this just came in crystal clear..

[A young and disheveld looking, tired young man turns on the television; Some sort of special, hosted by a popular commedienne and actress sparks his interest almost magnetically, and even seems to call to him.]

Why, Hello, Jim.

I'm–I'm Jim.

Well, you're James.

I am James!

For now, actually.

Well, forever, actually…

Wtf is this.

This is a parallel dimension, I guess, where everything that happened to me, just happens to this guy, and I'm—

wait , who are you then.

I'm glad you're watching this.

Wait, who are you?

I'm you!

I–doubt that.

Don't.

Huh!

Fuck, that's when I started wondering about–

HEY.

What the fuck, man.

Did we ever figure out Jimmy Fallon's Skrillex?

Not…yet, but…

No. No. no. NO.

It's not like i've tried to.

You see,

As they say

This Fallon

Is the front man

for a larger operation at hand

Hold onto your hat kids,

Here comes the axe,

Have your heads ready

To get disconnected at the neck,

Cause this shit gets

NECK- BREAK.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Crazy.

No political affiliations, ever!

Your inattention to the deficit, the prerequisite

Inquizitive kid, this one

A wizard at this, that

He waxes and waxes off,

Smokes with his left hand

And slaps the shit out of that

oncoming diaster with his right

SLAP.

AaaaaaaYY.

That's for–the bike incident.

Okay. alright, Fallon. You win.

That's fucking right, and I'm gonna keep winning.

Now get your shit together.

Oh.

And stop calling me Fallon;

My name's Patrick.

What is WRONG with him

(I'm doing this method)

I don't think this dude is eligible to play this character at all, but i'll just dedicate it to him—

He is devistatingly attractive, and apparently super-professional so,

Of course

They had to hire him for SNL, but also….

THIS SHIT NEVER ENDS, DOES IT?

NOPE.

MORE CORNBREAD?

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA

YES PLEASE.

his punctuality is perfect;

His punchlines, astounding

In actuality, he's kind of an asshole

Abandoned Catholosism for entertainment

It's just engrained in him to be deranged,

Rearranged his images for campaigns against hatred

Hey, lets save this for another lesson,

Okay, kids?

The worst part is

I think i'm a genius

The other worst part is,

Nobody can read this

The other worst part

Is the worst part of all

I got words

But no money to dream with

It's just sequences of sequence

Beyoncé dancing with coffee

The plot thins and gets thick again

Cause my budget alternates between ketogenics

and cost-effective carb days

My neighborhood's getting worse

It's covered in trash and littered with ignorant [explitive]

Motorists interrupting arcadian rhythms

And all i want is some dick

And fried chicken

I'm so tired of this

The American Nightmare

Could be a dream, but then i'd be

Up there

On stage

A fast forward
I been up for four days

Hard working as ever

In a hard hat,

I'm so blazed

And these days

Tina Fey just says

“Hey” every now and again

Cause i've been obsessed

With her success/or

It fuckin sucks, man

It came on suddenly

What if i told you I've been attached to this project since the beginning

When's the beginning?

Uhhh, i'd say,

:”get out of my head, Jimmy Fallon, you're an imaginary Psycho fucking fart created as a result of my brain collapsing after imminent death from a successful suicide?”

Is that a question?

It had a question mark on it for inflection.

Well, inflect this: you're right. I fucking–hate you.

Okay! I'm assuming you also hate yourself,

And you're also Skrillex.

Okay, you're only correct, because that's entirely accurate,

And also, you're Jesse Eiseinberg.

Okay.

OKay.

OKAY?

OKAY.

Fuck, I hate you.

I fucking hate you.

MEANWHILE,

Everyone's Grammy Awards begin projecting strange messages to its recipients.

What the fuck, dog.

The more of them you have…

[ L E G E N D S ]

What if Kurt Cobain

Kept you up at night,

screaming

“Let me out”

But you don't know how

So you turn on the tube,

Just,

Kind of confused

Just to do what you do

The truth, it alludes you

Don't even know who this dude is,

But he's cute

Don't need this stupid music

Would you just

Shut up

Let me shoot up some drugs

Stuff some straws up my nose,

Because I am the Walrus

Fuck!

If i run out of smoke

I can choke on some dramamine,

I think i found the first mouse

After that kid

Left my house in a stretcher

Left my house in a stretcher!

So what happens after

OWSLA shapeshifts into Jimmy Fallon

And makes him the master of ceremonies

In the tragic conflict of interest—

Which happens to be The Festival Project

Cause nobody wants to understand or polish

this

Abolishment of slavery?

“Amen”

She keeps praying

“Amen”

He keeps playing his game

Okay, kids

This hatred that's been described as “mental illness”

Up until (When?)

—Is actually just poverty and inequality

Building up in all of us

It's just distrust and lust buddy,

Get out of the spin for a minute

But if I did,

I wouldn't finish it

However

What's an end to Infinite?

—Nothin.

WAYWAYEXT. NOTHING. NEVER.

Pass the butter.

Pass the WHAT

What is “butter”

What is WHAT? SHUT UP.

Shut Up WHAT? I don't exist, remember?

Stuck in your head

You're stuck in my head

Shut the fuck up then

You're mumbling again

Quit doing drugs, then

Who do you love

What is love

Shut the fuck, up

Bitch

Butter

What

Shut

WHAT

UP

FUCKYOU THEN

*nothing*

Nothing but an 8 millimeter penis,

A fishing pole, half a sandwhich

And some actor,

I don't care who it is

As long as

Nothing and no one makes sense

For at least

A century after this

The algorithm is getting different

I should spin it to a record

Or let one of these other niggas spit it

Cause i'm frazzled as fuck and just can't handle the madness, man

I got another hat to slap you with

It says DUNCE on it

What? No it doe—

*hat slap *

Don't be so fucking gullible,

Asshole.

Give that one to Marshall Mathers

I imagined it was narrated by actors

Rappers, and other masters of the craft

Cause by the time I finish it

I'll be dead as Fallon is

I should gather up the lawers I'mma need

For this class action

ACTION!

Wait, you mean, we're actually doing this series??

YES.

Oh— FUCK.

What.

Everything is YES.

YES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPPPLLLES

JERRY?

No, it's JASON SUDAKIS.

[FALLON being FALLON]

Hey look! It's–

IT'S JASON SUDAKIS!

Everybody!

JASON SUDAKIS

SHOVE IT, FALLON.

I read your wiki.

FALLON

…did you LAUGH?

JASON SUDAKUS

FUCK NO. IT WAS TRAGIC. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR LIFE?

FALLON

(Shrugs)

I don't know yet, actually…

I don't know how to describe how,

This guy now,

Is just the

Overseer of everything under us,

Like a cameo appearance, but—

…Why is he just up there like that?

Cause whatever the fuck Kesha said

At the beginning of this 7 year curse

Fucked up all space and time and…

[Thank You]

He parks the hearse with the coffin in it,

he can't stop coughing

And now it's public knowledge

The curse was reversed

With the censorship of the cursewords,
The flow of the work of art known as

The Festival Project

Shit gets touchy, though,

Nobody ever touched me

With anymore

Than their superstardom and own art projects

I do it for the art,

And just

Know nobody can love me and trust me

After all I've come up from

And through

But dude,

I should just—

Yo, Mr Protagonist

I got a few words for you

I been on my knees at the pews

Confused as fuck as why God chose us

To do this dumb show,

Just show up ,

And stop smoking
Switch the flow up a little,

Try not to throw up, though

When you blow up,

OKay?

Okay.

Okay

OKay

I wanna be so pretty

He sends for me

I wanna spend thanksgiving in LA

And Christmas in New York City

Nevermind

Reverse that

I want it the other way

I wanna see the Macy's Parade

From the right place, this time

With my son

In my arms

But

I don't want no

Problems

I don't want no problems

With the fake shaman

Who hates saying he's the one that's crazy

But love making games

taking turquoise and sending demons after me

So he says

but —

I've been dead since

Getting stuck in the spiders web

With liars and writers and high up men

Who love girls half my age enough to

Buy them a ticket

Some hush money

some lunch

probably some purse or something

Here

Sign the NDA;

And you might be famous

The industry hates me
Cause i can type,

But almost never say it

Living in fear of motorcycles and stock cars racing up my block

It's tearing into my heart so much

I might just have a heart attack

And die, I hope

Stick a serrated knife up my spine

And my veins pulse

Like i'm supposed to just

Kill myself

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

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ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.