The Fertility Warriors

You'll know that a few episodes past I shared about a conversation I had with my dear friend, Jackie Figueras, both a registered Nurse (with an impressive resume) and a miscarriage and loss coach that there are so many things we just don't talk about enough when it comes to miscarriage and loss.

Trigger warning: we get really honest and share the gritty and detailed experiences of our losses in this episode. It was one of the FIRST episodes ever that has truly brought me to tears (I'm usually so great at setting my feelings aside for interviews, but Jackie's story just got me). As we dish down the HONEST truth about miscarriage and loss, we shared:

The differing emotional and physical experiences of our loss

What a medical miscarriage really feels like (with tips for anyone who needs to go through it)

Where healthcare providers are just getting it wrong

And Jackie shares some really wonderful tips and insights.

Links:

•Learn more about Jackie and her program, Roadmap to Recovery

•5 things you need to know about miscarriage

•Have I finished grieving my miscarriage

•How to recover from a miscarriage

•How to help a friend who has had a miscarriage

•The story of my infertility, IVF and the miscarriage that brought me to my knees

•How to honor your miscarried baby

Want more?

•Check out my 5 day Mini Mindset Program, Warrior Rising (it's just $27!)

•Jump on the waitlist for The Fertility Warrior Intensive (My 12 week holistic mind body program)

•Follow me on Instagram

If you liked this episode, please take a few moments to pop into Apple iTunes and leave a podcast review. It would mean the absolute world to me and it means that more people will be able to find and enjoy the podcast.

Well, I don't know if you got the time to see the Meghan Markle interview (I rarely watch stuff like this on TV) - more of a cooking show kind of girl, but I did take the time to tune into this interview, and wanted to share with you 5 lessons or insights that I had from the Meghan Markle and Oprah Interview, from the perspective of someone who does what I do, in helping women with infertility conquer the stress of infertility so they can thrive through the journey.

Notes from this episode:

•You often don't know what someone else is going through

•You are allowed to struggle, despite your circumstances

•What really happens when people are hurting

On today's podcast I'm talking about 5 things you need to know about miscarriage. Know that if you have experienced a miscarriage - whatever the terminology or type or gestation, I am, really and truly, so so sorry.

We all process miscarriage in different ways and as I always say - please don't let anyone hurry you with their timelines. It's so important for you to process and grieve your miscarriage in a way that works for you.

I've covered miscarriage and loss on a number of podcasts here, from ways to honor your miscarried baby, how to recover from a miscarriage, the story of my own miscarriage recovery, how to cope with recurrent miscarriage and loss, to an episode with Dr Malinda Lee where we discussed the medical aspects of recurrent loss.

And on today's podcast I touch on some of the things you may not be aware of with miscarriage, or that nobody talks about.

Tune into the episode to learn more.

I also mentioned my friend, Jackie Figueras - you can find her website here.

I get asked A LOT either by email or via the DMs on Instagram with warriors who are coping with Infertility Sadness for some guidance on what they can do to feel better. I love responding to you all, but I struggle with this one because unfortunately, there's not a quick or simple answer.

Up until now, I've always recommended The Fertility Warrior Intensive. I'm so freaking passionate about this program - it's a 12 week in-depth look at your perspective, self confidence, inner voice, ability to let go and address toxic guilt. SO many life changing things. But.... late last year I sat down and asked myself, what if I could help warriors who were struggling for a quick win?

What would it take for the quickest and easiest way to get you back in the saddle and feeling like you've got the energy to get back out there and get back on the saddle? As I kept pushing myself for these things, I eventually landed at 5 days.

5 lessons and 3 quick daily actions to help you feel better on your journey, and I've shared them in my new program, Warrior Rising. Gosh, I am so proud and excited about this program, and especially because it's delivered via a SECRET podcast (how cool is that?!) and a gorgeous 68 page workbook. Each day contains your lesson, as well as a simple breathwork exercise and some journal prompts. The workbook is infused with zen stories and other important lessons.

Visit robynbirkin.com/rise to learn more about this small but mighty new program.

The feedback has already been incredible, especially about the very first module - I can't wait to hear your feedback.

So... you've landed in donor conception land.

Maybe you've just been slammed with the news from your Fertility Specialist, or you're starting to suspect that you're just not going to get pregnant with your own eggs/sperm/embryos.

Maybe you're a hard no.

Maybe you're a maybe.

Maybe you're a yes but absolutely and completely terrified.

Well... if you're EITHER of those things, you need to tune into this episode with Meta Getman, one of my good friends and a Donor Conception Coach who chatted with me today about 5 myths surrounding donor conception (which let's be real... everyone has thought about at some point or another) as well as her own journey of using donor eggs and going from feeling hit by a brick wall to being a hard no to considering using donor eggs to becoming a donor egg mom of twins.

About Meta

Meta Getman is a donor conception coach who helps family-focused, responsible, and thoughtful women and couples who have found themselves facing a journey to parenthood they had never imagined: using donor eggs, donor sperm or donor embryo. Through her e-course, The Donor Downlow, Meta helps her clients go from isolation, loneliness, and fear of the donor process to hope, confidence and excitement for building their families.

Meta and her husband Michael went through their own infertility challenges and after four IUIs and three rounds of fresh IVF, they achieved their dream of a family through using donor eggs. Meta has been featured in multiple podcasts, has spoken multiple times at the RESOLVE Midwest Family Building Summit and co-founded a local community where she lives for families who used a donor to have their children. She is passionate about sharing her story and helping others who are exploring or headed down the path to using a donor.

Grab a copy of Meta's free Essential Donor Checklist. This free resource gives you all the essential questions you need to consider when using a donor to build your family.

Connect with Meta on Instagram @metagetman or at her website: www.metagetman.com

Today on the podcast it's my absolute pleasure to welcome fellow Aussie, Lucy Lines of Two Lines Fertility in Melbourne Australia (although ALL of the stuff we chatted about is totally relevant across the globe.

Here are a few highlights from our chat together

Choosing your clinic and Specialist

- your fertility clinic is going to play a really important part in how your family grows over the coming months/years, so choosing where to go is a super important step

- different people respond differently to different people - not everyone is for everyone (in fact, very Rarely is any one person for everyone!) - it's important to choose someone you like and someone you TRUST

- think about the clinic FIRST and the individual specialist SECOND. The clinic is where the nurses, counsellors and importantly the LAB are. The nurses and counsellors are really important for your cycle management, but the lab has the greatest influence over your outcome. How the lab deal with the eggs and sperm and grow the embryos has the greatest impact on your outcome and small changes within the lab can make a big difference. The fertility specialist, nurses and counsellors are responsible for managing your treatment, interacting with you and ensuring that the raw materials that are delivered to the lab (the eggs and sperm) are the best they can be.. but the lab does the rest.

- There are lots of things to think about when choosing a clinic:

- location

- reputation and results

- clinic policies

- choosing a specialist

- gender

- sub-speciality

- other specialities

- do they offer add-ons?

- is this YOUR person? fertility specialists are human - they have good days and bad days, they have particular areas of specialisation, and they have personalities - find one that matches YOU

I remember when we were trying to conceive... but before anyone knew anything about our journey, and my father looking at me square in the eyes and telling me that if we couldn't have children, we should just adopt.

We'd been together for YEARS before we got married and several years after that before we had tried to have children. I don't know if it was just an off the cuff remark or whether deep down my father suspected that we were having trouble conceiving.

But nonetheless, I felt this deep pressure to deliver grandchildren, over and above the desires and the wishes that I also had.

Can you relate?

Do you feel like a big portion of your life is lived spent trying to please your parents?

Do you feel like sometimes there's things that you want in your life, that are maybe a bit risky or different to what you think they'd approve of, and that you're possibly playing life safely as a result?

Learn about my process of unlearning and separating myself and my wants and desires from that of what I believed my parents wanted in this week's podcast.

I turned 39 in January! Truth be told I'm actually REALLY excited about entering this chapter in my life. I can honestly say I've learnt SO much more in my 30s than at many other times in my life - my infertility journey triggered this uncomfortable growth in me, that I can now also look back on with gratitude for the lessons it provided to me.

Tune into this week's podcast where I share my biggest lessons over the last 39 years although below are the cliff notes. Enjoy! And reach out to me on Instagram to let me know what you think.

•How you speak to yourself, is one of the important things you can control

•Stop looking at what you want to achieve or do, and start thinking about how you want to feel

•Most of the time, in the present moment, things are fine, safe and boring

•You only live once

•There is never a wrong decision

•Stop caring so much about what your parents want and start thinking about what YOU want

•Deep down inside, YOU know the answer

•Money is a renewable resource, time is not

•Never discount the lessons in the journey

•The worst-case rarely ever happens. Neither does the best case. It's usually somewhere in the middle

•Everyone deserves respect

•Often, what triggers you (or what triggers someone else) is more about you and less about them

•Perfection is a unicorn

•Balance is BS

•Do the scary things

•Most things are change-your-mindable

•Most things are figureoutable if you commit to navigating solutions

•>> But you get to choose whether you want to take the shortcut

•The 5 minute rule >> ask yourself - what do I need right now

•Get a cleaner

•You can control more things than you think

•Everyone suffers

•Expect obstacles

•Being hopeful feels better than trying not to get your hopes up

•Crying feels good

•A hot (or cold) shower or a walk outside fixes most things

•Get your mind right FIRST

•Women do not exist on a 24-hour cycle

•Sometimes the rest is the work

•Sometimes it's not giving up, it's changing priorities

•Life has seasons

•Guilt is a motherf*cker

•Sometimes things take time - it's not about quitting or giving up or that it's not working, it's that you're still on the path to getting it there

•Sometimes friendships hibernate

•Your mood is a mirror

•You should always make your bed

•You don't need to believe everything your brain tells you

•Meaningful human connection is a life force

•Your future could look NOTHING like you had ever planned and be a THOUSAND times better than you could have ever imagined

Hellooooo and welcome to my Behind the Scenes Series for January. Today's topic is about choosing (or not choosing) a word for the year.

These podcasts are taken from inside the private Fertility Warrior Family Facebook Group that accompanies my signature 12 week program. The Fertility Warrior Intensive. These are NOT the training videos or modules from within the course, but within our private Facebook Group, I jump in with regular group coaching and support for warriors - I'm super active in there and drop in every few days with videos, images, thoughts - support, advice, real talk - you name it, and then once a month we do a big group coaching session.

There is SO much to this program, and I'd love to share more with you - to learn more, jump on the waitlist here: robynbirkin.com/warrior - we'll be opening the doors to the program in February and we'd love to welcome you as our latest warrior.

Hellooooo and welcome to my Behind the Scenes Series for January. Today's topic is about what to do if you feel triggered by something.

These podcasts are taken from inside the private Fertility Warrior Family Facebook Group that accompanies my signature 12 week program. The Fertility Warrior Intensive. These are NOT the training videos or modules from within the course, but within our private Facebook Group, I jump in with regular group coaching and support for warriors - I'm super active in there and drop in every few days with videos, images, thoughts - support, advice, real talk - you name it, and then once a month we do a big group coaching session.

There is SO much to this program, and I'd love to share more with you - to learn more, jump on the waitlist here: robynbirkin.com/warrior - we'll be opening the doors to the program in February and we'd love to welcome you as our latest warrior.