“I think the most important thing in relationships is you’re always on the same team.”

Table of Contents (times are approximate):

0:00 Intro

2:55 possessive language

4:15 designer relationships

5:00 labels as a means of avoiding uncomfortable conversations

6:10 what the law says about husbands and wives

8:15 why everybody needs a prenuptial agreement

9:25 how to articulate stuff (for the inarticulate)

11:50 using labels descriptively

16:41 the language around emotions

19:19 raising kids to be good communicators

23:30 (the language of) cheating

30:00 fairness as a concept is overrated

32:30 you’re on the same team

33:50 rules vs. boundaries

Find Wes on X at @wfenza. Listen to him on The Mindkiller Podcast and check out his blog, Living Within Reason. Or if you really want to spice up your life, you can even date him. (I highly recommend it!)

“IDENTITY ANARCHY”

Table of Contents for Part 4 (times are approximate):

0:00 facilitating safety

31:50 identity anarchy

37:55 reflections

43:35 key elements for healing in group settings

Find Elodes on X at @ElodesNL and on Substack at elodes.substack.com

“What you don’t reveal, others feel.”

Table of Contents for Part 3 (times are approximate):

0:00 intergender anger space

14:25 witnessing/embracing ritual and processing

23:05 personal anger space

32:40 healing as a physical process

36:00 party temple space

51:30 other spaces

54:05 brotherhood initiation ritual

55:40 self-reinforcing negative patterns

1:14:55 attunement to the group

Find Elodes on X at @ElodesNL and on Substack at elodes.substack.com

“It resonated with so many people that sex had always been quite fast, you know — a little too much, a little too fast, maybe a little too soon — and that so few of us have ever seen it happen in the way that it should happen, rightly, or experience that.”

Table of Contents for Part 2 (times are approximate):

0:10 musical interpretation

4:40 race space

29:30 slowness

58:53 reclaiming the power of the cock

Find Elodes on X at @ElodesNL and on Substack at elodes.substack.com

“Trauma that happened in group settings can only be healed in group settings.”

Table of Contents for Part 1 (times are approximate):

3:45 intro to the retreat

6:35 healing in tribes and group trauma

13:38 men’s spaces

17:54 intention and efficacy of the modalities

21:00 judgement space

25:00 women-centered vs men-centered

27:00 getting into our fire energy

30:00 adjusting to intimacy

32:50 belly-to-belly work

41:30 gentleness

44:00 impromptu devotional space

52:00 men-devouring space

Find Elodes on X at @ElodesNL and on Substack at elodes.substack.com

“The key to getting fucked is being honest about my emotions.”

In which we talk about: being vulnerable, being a mess for each other, feeling safe, having regular meetings, intimacy through cuddling, finding new adventures to regain that New Relationship Energy, allowing each other to blow each other’s minds, actively loving each other, taking risks, lessening the amount of time between something happening and when it gets addressed, the effects of COVID, finding balance, choosing Them, leaving them room to be different, saying the thing you can’t say, “It’s not a finish line.”

Find Michelle at @MichelleAkin on twitter and at www.michelleakin.com.