We all need community - to feel like we belong. Unfortunately, the Mormon church isn’t the only high-demand group out there and, when we leave, we are vulnerable to being swooped up into another one. In order to avoid “cult hopping” we must learn to spot the red and yellow flags. Thankfully there are also plenty of healthy, wholesome communities too! In this episode, we discuss the differences between healthy and unhealthy group structures so you can find your people without sacrificing your self.

Resources:
Characteristics of High-Control Groups
Cultish by Amanda Montell

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Life after Mormonism is never easy, but being free from the church doesn't mean you'll never talk to a Mormon again. In all likelihood, you have family and loved ones who remain members long after you've left. This can make family gatherings stressful, stilted, or even formal feeling. In this podcast, we explore how to best navigate the holidays and other family gatherings in a way that supports you and your boundaries while also honoring the relationships in your life. 

Resources

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It's typical for young adults, ages 18-25, to leave the nest and start to fly on their own. Many young adults continue to discover who they are and what believe as they move away from their family of origin. This is not the case in the Mormon church where Young Adults are sequestered into singles wards, sent on missions, and expected to start families at a young age, all with the intention of maintaining their position as a cog in the Mormon machine. This week we wrap up our exploration of the development of Mormon identity throughout the first 25 years of a person's life.

Resources:
Via Character
Personal Values: How to Know Who You Really Are
26 Questions To Help You Know Yourself Better
The Gifts of Imperfection
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"

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Self-exploration, peer relationships, and preparing for adulthood are the hallmarks of a healthy teenage experience. But what if that time is being taken up with religious classes, choreographed relationships, and focusing on an external group's needs. In this episode, we explore what it means to be a youth, ages 12-18, in the Mormon church and the psychological damage of conformity and judgment.

Resources

Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
The Body Is Not an Apology, Second Edition: The Power of Radical Self-Love
Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
We Should All Be Feminists

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Trigger Warning: in this episode we discuss rape, incest, child sexual abuse, and domestic violence.

In this special episode, we explore the beliefs Mormons hold about abortion, the dangers of the patriarchy for both men and women, the impact of living in a country where religious law has started to become the law of the land, and more.

Resources
Abortion Finder
Local Abortion Non-profit Directory
30 Grounding Techniques to Quiet Distressing Thoughts
4 common vasectomy myths debunked
Facts are Important: Abortion is Healthcare

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Baptism might seem like a banal rite of passage for an eight-year-old child, but when you teach children that they are not only capable of sinning, but that their entire eternal salvation is on the line, there are psychological implications. Weighty topics of death and the meaning of life can become front and center for children not yet ready to wrestle with the fear of judgment day and the “consequences” of their yet-to-be fully understood “sins”. 

Resources

Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl

Staring at the Sun, Irvine Yalom

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Instead of celebrating the rainbow of diversity that is humanity, the Mormon church has continued to double down on the black and white gender construct of hyper-masculine and ultra-feminine as the only form of accepted gender expression. The lack of inclusion for gender-queer, gender non-conforming, non-binary, trans-gender folxs, and anyone else outside these two gender boxes has led to a mental health crisis for many members and former members of LDS faith. This podcast explores the Mormon church’s stance on gender identity and gender expression and how its rigid constructs perpetuate the patriarchy, oppress the LGBTQ+ community, and harm the mental health of its members. We also explore educational resources for the LGBTQ+ community and its allies as well as paths to finding healing and community.

Resources

LGBTQ+ Center Locator

Mormon Mental Health Association 

The Trevor Project

Encircle

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Available 24 hours 800-273-8255

Contrapoints

Liberal Cook

Jonathan Van Ness: Getting Curious (2022, Netflix)

Disclosure (2020, Netflix)

Transhood (2020, HBO)

Gender Revolution: A Journey with Katie Couric (2017, Disney+)

Transmormon (2014, Radiowest Films & OHO Media)

Gender Bread Person

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Boundaries. What are they? Why are they important? How does being a member of a high demand group like the Mormon church affect your ability to hold healthy boundaries? And what kind of boundary violations are common in Mormonism?  We explore all of this and more in episode 3.   

Resources mentioned in the show:

Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Blink! Think! Choice! Voice!
Anger Iceberg

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This week we explore how attachment style is exploited and manipulated by cults, specifically the Mormon church, in order to keep members confused and dissociated from their emotions and reality. We review the origin of attachment style theory, why it is important, how it is affected by high-demand groups, and what ex-Mormons can do to start healing their attachment wounds. 

Resources mentioned in the show:

Patreon
Attachment Style Quiz
Healing Your Attachment Wounds
Terror, Love and Brainwashing

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For the debut FoMo podcast we take a minute to share our stories of leaving the Mormon church before exploring the age-old question, is Mormonism a cult? We measure the LDS Church with Steven Hassan's BITE Model of Authoritarian Control to determine what makes a cult and if Mormonism makes the cut.

Resources mentioned in the show:

Terror, Love and Brainwashing
Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships
Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults, and Beliefs
Undoing Undue Influence and the BITE Model

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