The Fox and the Foxhound: Love, Marriage, and Harry Potter

The Triwizard Tournament officially has its (four) champions, Moody’s out here casting Unforgiveable Curses on errbody, and through it all The Wilsons are revisiting the dark days of “that’s hot” and speculating about Shaquille O’Neal’s sexual logistics. What does Professor Kevlawney think may be a hidden gift of Dumbledore’s? How much Hufflepuff Pride does Amanda display over the moment Cedric is chosen as a Hogwarts champion? And can Kev do a French accent? Spoiler alert: no he cannot. 

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The Wilsons are still stuck inside- running out of alcohol rapidly and diving right in to The Unforgivable Curses! They’re discussing the zingers, Vietnam service, and episodes of actual child abuse from one Mr. Moody and deciding who they would want to spend quarantine with from the Wizarding World. And while this week doesn’t technically meet the requirements of a “musical episode”…there is a disproportionate amount of singing. 

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It’s a bit of a dark time on this planet right now, and this week The Wilsons are hoping that The Adorable (and Pint-Sized) Creevey Brothers might put a smile on their faces. Spoiler alert: they really, really do. Also, what the making of grits at Dollywood has in common with Arthur’s note-taking, Amanda and Kev beg Universal Studios to consult with them about coming attractions, and Professor Kevlawney has some initial thoughts about Mad Eye Moody. 

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Things are getting all kinds of creepy up in Goblet of Fire. This week your hosts are talking The Dark Mark, The Media, Elf Rights, and Kev’s rampant distrust for ol’ Toothbrush Mustache. Also, The Royal House of Windsor and (for some reason) Justin Bieber?

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Sportsball Alert! It’s the final of the Quidditch World Cup and the camping antics of a whole bunch of wizards with no chill that precede it. Your hosts are talking Bagman, Crouch, Wizard/Muggle Relations, a “writhing” Percy Weasley, and more. Who’s acting like Bruno Mars? Who’s reminding The Wilsons of the uncle in Napoleon Dynamite? And what had Amanda and Kev crying this time?

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It’s time for the next three chapters of Goblet of Fire, the introduction of the Portkey concept, and the return of mafia references! Kev and Amanda are delving into the logistics of getting an assload of wizards to one place and the titillation of cauldron-bottom thickness. Plus: porridge talk, Kev gets quizzed on The Weasley Birth Order, and Professor Kevlawney makes a prediction that will win or fail as soon as next week. 

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It’s the Season 4 premiere, and The Wilsons are tackling Chapters 1-3 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. A distinct tonal departure in Chapter 1 has Professor Kevlawney’s crystal ball a-glowing, Frank Bryce is assigned an alternative career, and numerous theories are posited about which part of Nagini exactly is being milked.

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This week, Kev and Amanda are at the mercy of The Manager of Mischief himself- Josh “Jay Bay” Bailey and his arsenal of patron-submitted questions. Some are sweet, some are strange, some are…ahem…for grown ups. How well do The Wilsons really know each other, and exactly how much bourbon was consumed in the making of this episode?

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This week your hosts are taking a stroll down memory lane that is completely metaphorical considering Kev has broken several things and can’t stroll anywhere at the moment. Nevertheless, The Wilsons soldier on with the very first Kevlawney Prophecy Round-Up. Join them as they review the hits, misses, and remaining question marks from the increasingly-polished crystal ball of our favorite FFH Seer. 

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Hope you bought your tickets to COMPLAINEYFEST 2020 because The Wilsons have opinions about the film adaption of Book 3. As usual for the movie episodes, they’re giving you their most magical moments, most muggle moments (spoiler alert that section is longer), best casting decisions, dream recasts, and movie-inspired marriage lessons. 

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