First, we are forced to cover a cartoon pasted together with spaghetti and play-doh, and then JJ Abrams shows up to try to put the whole thing back together. Henry, we're home.

Skin is better than sand and Revenge of the Sith is better than Attack of the Clones. These are the two truths we will now live by.

It's The Franchise Holiday Special! Merry Christmas and Happy Life Day! And R2-D2 as R2-D2!

The Ewoks brutalize the Star Wars saga. Then, 16 years later, Jar Jar eats its remains. Yippee!

Here it is! The Franchise to end all Franchises! Hear an early recording of George Lucas discussing The Star Wars with Steven Spielberg! Then, stay for Henry and Daniel discussing one for the pantheon.

Joe Johnston cobbles together something that resembles a movie. Then, the franchise reboots to the tune of a one and a half billion dollars. Might there be merit in one or both?

Mike Bloom (@AMikeBloomType, of Rob Has a Podcast, Parade.com, Survivor Historians and lots of other great podcasts) takes us all the way back to the Jurassic age! Meaning those Spielberg dinosaur movies from the 90s. We're gabbing Goldblum and jabbering Jackson and one of us even knocks Neill! Hang on to your butts.

Christian Toto (@HollywoodinToto), from the Hollywood in Toto podcast and website, joins us to discuss a tale as old as time: Ancient Egyptian white lady vanishes into thin air, meets aspiring sculptor, bones him after he builds her to be a department store mannequin. We've all been there. Then, it happens again! The only thing tying these two events together? A flamboyantly gay black man named Hollywood with really cool sunglasses and a knack for choreography.

Special guest Jan Martino joins us to discuss the cult classic Blade Runner (at least 2 versions!) and its belated sequel. Is one of us a Replicant? Is there voiceover? Did any of us watch Soldier? Tune in to find out.

DIG THROUGH THE DITCHES AND BURN THROUGH THE WITCHES AND SLAM IN THE BACK OF MY DRAGULA!!! LIVING DEAD GIRL!!! Henry and Daniel review the motherfucking Rob Zombie Halloween movies, you peckerwood son of a bitch.