We slog through the drudgery that is the Austin Powers franchise, a half-assed sprawl of sex and poop jokes. "Get in my belly," it says, and we try our hardest not to be swallowed up.

It's our most shagadelic episode yet! With all that that entails. Yeah, baby. Yeah.

We cover one of the best movies of all time! Then we cover its Jack Nicholson-helmed sequel, which is not one of the best movies of all time. Really not. Like, way not.

Michael Bay invades Crystal Lake. PLUS: We rank all 11 (12?) Friday the 13th movies.

Jason turns out to be a little wormy thing. Then he goes to space. Oh, New Line Cinema. What hath thee wrought?

JASON VS. CARRIE! Um, I mean Tina. JASON FIGHTS A BOAT! CRACK! HEROIN! And the beginning of the "Kane Hodder era" if that means anything to anybody.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS. And then a good movie. Check it out. Two of the absolute strangest films (I mean movies) of this franchise.

A YOYO FLYING AT YOU!!!!!!!! And then The Final Chapter. Part 4 of 11. With Corey Feldman and 80s Crispin Glover, the greatest actor of all time.

We enter the spookiest month of the year by covering a major horror franchise! It's got boobs, decapitations and ratty old sweaters. And a guy in a wheelchair taking a machete to the face. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

Tommy Lee Jones wins an Oscar! For a sixties TV adaptation?! And then RDJ gets PISSED. But Wesley Snipes owns.