Lessons on marriage from Malachi 2:13-17
Overview:
Heed a new perspective to keep that first love.
A new companionship to become better friends.
A new commitment to the end — ask how can I make this thing work, not how can I get out of it.
A new objective to raise Godly offspring.
A new attitude — her name is branded on my heart for life and I will look to my own heart to see what’s wrong.
“A faulty relationship with your partner is sure to mar your relationship with God, and a faulty relationship with your God is sure to mar your relationship with your partner.”
“We grow accustom to His grace. We grow accustom to her face.”
“You’re either building your relationship or burying it.”5 factors — from Malachi, under the Spirit of God — that can better your relationship and marriage
1. Treat your partner like you did when you were young. (Your perspective must change)
“The wife of your youth”.
Take initiative to treat your spouse like you did when you were young and pursuing your spouse.
We grow accustom to her face. We grow accustom to His grace.
2. Treat your partner as your companion — the one you are “glued” to. (Your relationship must change)
Learn how to give and take criticism and compliments in marriage.
Learn how to build the friendship factor in your marriage.
In the Old, and New Testament, the wife is always referred to as “the friend”. The other woman is always referred to as “the stranger.”
She’s the one you spend your most intimate moments with, and the one with whom you should be getting your best counsel and advice.
Three ways to develop your friendship in marriage
1. Mutual acceptance and respect of each other.
Accept them not as they ought to be, but as they actually are.
2. Assume total and unlimited liability for each other.
Instead of asking “what’s wrong with my partner?’, entertain the probable answer that “I am” what’s wrong.
3. Take initiative to actively bring sustenance into your marriage.
In your marriage, don’t be a thermometer. Be a thermostat. (Make the change)
3. Recognize that your commitment is permanent. It’s before God, not just man.
Love alone is not enough to keep a marriage together.
This was evident even before Abraham’s time. The marriage documents were signed by 8 men, 2 women, 2 scribes, and the king himself.
Sometimes the only thing that can keep a marriage together, for a period of time, is a contract.
Good marriages and poor ones have virtually the same set of problems. The difference is the commitment.
The good ones say, “We’re in it by covenant. How can we make this work?” The poor ones say, “How can I get out of this thing?”
4. Understand that the chief objective of marriage is to provide a Godly offspring. (Reference Malachi 2:15)
Your children should see that you love your partner well.
God said that it’s not good for man to be alone.
It is not solely a parent’s responsibility in raising up a Godly child, because the child plays a role in accepting the parent's guidance.
The child may cooperate with the process, or they may sabotage it.
“No child is a programmable computer…. God is not a celestial programmer.” This means that parents are not solely in control of how the child turns out.
Once you’ve done your best under God, commit them to God and get off the guilt wagon.
5. Check your own internal attitude. “Take heed to your spirit” (Reference verse 15 and 16)
You must assume that the primary problems in your marriage are your own problems. Don’t shift the blame to the other.
Chesterton: What’s wrong with the world? I am.
My own attitude has to change.
You must be faithful to your partner in your mind and thoughts. Don’t just be externally faithful. 
