The Frustration Factor

Frick, Don M, foreword by Peter M. Senge, & afterword by Larry C. Spears. Robert K. Greenleaf: A Life of Servant Leadership. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 2004.

Becoming a human being, and preparing a foundation for leadership, starts with developing the capacity to see what we have not seen before. If this capacity is absent, actions taken in the face of novel circumstances will actually be reactions from our past rather than appropriate for the present. As the capacity to stop becomes developed, our actions start to emerge from a broader field, the field of the future that is seeking to emerge.

…Greenleaf advocated: listening, consensus decision making, persuasion, lifelong learning, participatory research, exposure to ideas from the humanities, shared power, and full accountability.

Greenleaf says a leader is one who "goes out ahead and shows the way... He says, 'I will go, follow me!' when he knows that the path is uncertain, even dangerous."

The leader always knows the goal and "can articulate it for any who are unsure. By clearly stating and restating the goal the leader gives certainty and purpose to others who may have difficulty in achieving it for themselves.... The word goal is used here in the special sense of the overarching purpose, the big dream, the visionary concept, the ultimate consummation which one approaches but never really achieves."

People follow leaders because they believe leaders "see more clearly where it is best to go."

The servant-leader is servant first... It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. …

The best test, and difficult to administer, is: do those served grow as persons; do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants? And, what is the effect on the least privileged in society; will he benefit, or, at least, will he not be further deprived?

This suggests that a non-servant who wants to be a servant might become a natural servant through a long arduous discipline of learning to listen, a discipline sufficiently sustained that the automatic response to any problem is to listen first."

"Listening isn't just keeping quiet; and it isn't just making appropriate responses that indicate one is awake and paying attention," says Greenleaf. "Listening is a healing attitude, the attitude of intensely holding the belief--faith if you wish to call it thus--that the person or persons being listened to will rise to the challenge of grappling with the issues involved in finding their own wholeness."

If you're sure that you will take your turn at success, our old friend Simon has a couple of important tips for you. Please listen.

Farber, Steve, foreword by Patrick Lencioni and Matthew Kelly. Greater Than Yourself: The Ultimate Lesson of True Leadership. New York: Doubleday, 2009

…real leadership is not about calling yourself "leader;" rather, it's about taking up the cause to change some piece of the world for the better. Real leadership, in other words, is an extreme act rooted in love and motivated by a desire to create a better world--whether it's the world of your company, team, neighborhood, or family. Simply put, real leadership is Extreme Leadership.

"There are three tenets of Greater Than Yourself," said Charles, writing upside down on the pad so it was right side up to me. "Expand Yourself, Give Yourself, and Replicate Yourself."

Your job is to do whatever you can, to act in such a way that you extend and offer yourself to another, with the expressed purpose of elevating that person above yourself.

"Expand Yourself, Give Yourself, and, finally, Replicate Yourself by teaching others to do exactly what you've done for them."

…that, in fact, is the first element of Expand Yourself: Shift your perspective from isolated to connected; from alone to interdependent; from me to us.

GTY is really just a form of very personal, one-on-one philanthropy.

…a culture in which everyone reaches out not just to help, but to help each other excel. …

My job is to lead the company, not to be the smartest, greatest, most talented person in the building.

You want to get noticed around here? … Then use your life experience to start raising someone else up.

Consider this wisdom from Oscar Wilde, “It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” Which are you, charming or tedious

As you ponder the answer, keep in mind Wilde said it’s one or the other, there is no in-between.

If you can benefit from a lesson or so from charm school, Professor Henri Frédéric Amiel taught, “Charm is the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves.” Are folks more satisfied with themselves when they have an opportunity to spend time with you

If so, you may be charming. …

Another charm guru, Albert Camus, instructed, “Charm is… a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.” Do people try to please you without your doing anything specific to prompt their behavior

If so, you may be charming.

Henry Van Dyke pointed out, “There is no personal charm so great as the charm of a cheerful temperament.” Are you usually cheerful and positive about people and life

If so, you may be charming.

Marissa Crow, author of The Friend Factory and The Yes Bank, also stepped up to the charm school podium, “You treat people the way you want to be treated. Are you nice to people when you want something

Sure you are. You're also nice when you don't want anything. You're nice every chance you get… You're also friendly. You speak to people you know and are interested in them. You talk with people and care about how they feel. Here's your special secret. You take your good manners along everywhere you go.” Are you nice, are you friendly, do you take your good manners along everywhere you go

If so, you may be charming. And if not, you are, as Wilde observed, merely tedious.

None but a certifiable power junky would go with his own ideas and skills when someone more competent is readily available. Nonetheless, power junkies are more prevalent than you might think. You can find them mostly in the middle ranks but rarely at the top. Leaders do not get there by ignoring or overlooking expertise in others and especially not in people whose knowledge, skills, and resources can increase their chances for success. Skilled leaders take full advantage of whatever may give them the winning edge.

a proactive leader's reason for deferring to the expertise of others goes a little farther though. He truly values differing styles and opinions. Each person on the team has know-how, skills, and resources unlike those of anyone else. They all have their special areas of expertise. They also have their individual approaches, ways of thinking, and perspectives. This gives fullness and flavor to the team. Not to take advantage of this richness would be like ignoring the pilot when she suggests that you let her fly the plain this time. …

. . . . .

You already know a proactive leader has an organized mind and an uncanny ability to see problems before they are problems, opportunities before anyone else knows an opportunity is at hand. There is a value-added benefit of having a proactive leader that you may not know about though. a proactive leader deals with problems and issues as soon as he becomes aware of them. It is part of his do today's business today approach to everything. It also makes it easier for him to have an organized mind. The less there is to keep track of, the easier it is to keep it organized.

You know about how hectic things are the day after vacation. Stuff has not gotten done and work is backed up. Did you know there are people whose days are like that all the time? Sure, it may be due to having impossible jobs where they are always behind. That is a different matter they need to deal with. More typically though, the problem is caused by not doing today's business today, even though the opportunity is there to do it. They do the routine things but set the more difficult or unpleasant tasks aside. They want to think about it, will get back to it later, or do not feel like they have enough information.

a proactive leader has learned most all of these tasks are five-minutes-or-less activities and require a decision or response to a problem or issue. His rule here is simple.

First, delegate. Pass the problem or issue along to the person who has the needed information and the responsibility for the outcome. Please take care of this. Let me know by next Tuesday how you handled it.

Second, if you cannot delegate, the rule is handle it, now. Make the best decision you can, based on what you know right now. Trust your experience, your instincts, your well-tested judgment.

Third, if you cannot delegate and are not prepared to act, the rule is to trash it. A lot of unnecessary work is appropriately avoided by this simple step.

Less than 5% of the non-routine tasks outlive the previous three rules. This is at least much more manageable. a proactive leader's rule for this 5% is this.

If you cannot finish it today, assign someone to work on it with you. That person is responsible for developing a completion schedule, getting the needed information together, and bringing a recommendation to you.

When the recommendation comes back, start with the first rule and run the steps again. The most likely outcome is that you accept the recommendation and delegate the task to the person who has been working on the problem or issue. However you handle it, today's business has been done today.

I have been thinking about doing this episode of PPOV for a while now. The problem was that I seemed to be all thought and no talk. To get past that stuck place, I opened the mike and got started. The start was a little rough but it picked up as I got into talking about what I had just been thinking about.

 

I had been thinking about tariffs and all of the hoopla they seem to be generating recently. The main generator seems to be President Trump. I also notice that everyone I listen to seems to either be a cheerleader or a critic. The problem I am having is that I hear no shortage of opinion but very little in terms of supporting facts either way.

 

That’s what I focus on in this episode of PPOV. Have a listen and see if it rings any bells for you.

Drucker, Peter with Jim Collins. The Five Most Important Questions You Will Ever Ask About Your Organization. Third Edition. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2008.

Planning is frequently misunderstood as making future decisions, but decisions exist only in the present. You must have overarching goals that add up to a vision for the future, but the immediate question that faces the organization is not what to do tomorrow. The question is, What must we do today to achieve results? Planning is not an event. It is the continuous process of strengthening what works and abandoning what does not, of making risk-taking decisions with the greatest knowledge of their potential effect, of setting objectives, appraising performance and results through systematic feedback, and making ongoing adjustments as conditions change.

Another reason to encourage dissent is that any organization needs its nonconformist. This is not the kind of person who says, "There is a right way and a wrong way-- and our way." Rather, he or she asks, "What is the right way for the future?' and is ready to change. Finally, open discussion uncovers what the objections are. With genuine participation, a decision doesn't need to be sold. Suggestions can be incorporated, objections addressed, and the decision itself becomes a commitment to action. …

What is our mission? Such a simple question-- but it goes right to the heart of the fundamental tension in any great institution: the dynamic interplay between continuity and change. Every truly great organization demonstrates the characteristic of preserve the core, yet stimulate progress. On the one hand, it is guided by a set of core values and fundamental purpose-- a core mission that changes little or not at all over time; and, on the other hand, it stimulates progress: change, improvement, innovation, renewal. The core mission remains fixed while operating practices, cultural norms, strategies, tactics, processes, structures, and methods continually change in response to changing realities. Indeed, the great paradox of change is that the organizations that best adapt to a changing world first and foremost know what should not change; they have a fixed anchor of guiding principles around which they can more easily change everything else.

Customers are never static. There will be greater or lesser numbers in the groups you already serve. They will become more diverse. Their needs, wants, and aspirations will evolve. There may be entirely new customers you must satisfy to achieve results-- individuals who really need the service, want the service, but not in the way in which it is available today. And there are customers you should stop serving because the organization has filled a need, because people can be better served elsewhere, or because you are not producing results.

Need alone does not justify continuing. Nor does tradition. You must match your mission, your concentration, and your results. Like the New Testament parable of the talents, your job is to invest your resources where the returns are manifold, where you can have success.

Objectives are the specific and measurable levels of achievement that move the organization toward its goals. The chief executive officer is responsible for development of objectives and action steps and detailed budgets that follow. The board must not act at the level of tactical planning, or it interferes with management's vital ability to be flexible in how goals are achieved. When developing and implementing a plan, the board is accountable for mission, goals, and the allocation of resources to results, and for appraising progress and achievement. Management is accountable for objectives, for action steps, for the supporting budget, as well as for demonstrating effective performance.

When you have strong performance is the very time to ask,

Some children are more likely to exhibit this sign of relationship problems than others. For example, if a child has changed neighborhoods and schools, difficulty making and keeping friends is more likely; or if his life-experiences have not taught him good interpersonal and relationship skills, having the problem is nearly inevitable. A child who has low self-esteem and deals less well with the give-and-take of friends and the social scene likely have this problem to some degree.

Most children move out from a solid base at home into other relationships, enabling them to try many relationships while always having those at home. Children who do not have this solid base will certainly have this problem. Because of this, relationships they do find are more important to them. For example, they can easily become too possessive and smother the other person; or they may try too hard to please and to be part of the group, making them very vulnerable to mistreatment and exploitation.

Your child needs to be taught about friends and relationships. Approach your teaching task like this. "Getting a friend starts by hanging around with people who are like you want to be. Pick people who seem to value what you value. Next, talk and join in without being pushy. After a while, you'll notice you talk more with some of them than others. There'll be two or three you talk with the most. You and they are becoming friends. There're also some ways to keep friends and ways that turn them off. We can talk about that as time goes on." By talking to him like this, you are modeling an example of friendly behavior and are teaching him relationship skills. It is a slow but rewarding process. …

Be sure you also make a point to include him in family activities, at church, in the neighborhood, or in community organizations. This gives him a chance to see other healthy families and to make friends. Although child-only activities may be too stressful for him at first, family activities are safe and provide good opportunities to observe, coach, and support him.

Some children are more likely to exhibit this sign of relationship problems than others. For example, if a child has changed neighborhoods and schools, difficulty making and keeping friends is more likely; or if his life-experiences have not taught him good interpersonal and relationship skills, having the problem is nearly inevitable. A child who has low self-esteem and deals less well with the give-and-take of friends and the social scene likely have this problem to some degree.

Most children move out from a solid base at home into other relationships, enabling them to try many relationships while always having those at home. Children who do not have this solid base will certainly have this problem. Because of this, relationships they do find are more important to them. For example, they can easily become too possessive and smother the other person; or they may try too hard to please and to be part of the group, making them very vulnerable to mistreatment and exploitation.

Your child needs to be taught about friends and relationships. Approach your teaching task like this. "Getting a friend starts by hanging around with people who are like you want to be. Pick people who seem to value what you value. Next, talk and join in without being pushy. After a while, you'll notice you talk more with some of them than others. There'll be two or three you talk with the most. You and they are becoming friends. There're also some ways to keep friends and ways that turn them off. We can talk about that as time goes on." By talking to him like this, you are modeling an example of friendly behavior and are teaching him relationship skills. It is a slow but rewarding process. …

Be sure you also make a point to include him in family activities, at church, in the neighborhood, or in community organizations. This gives him a chance to see other healthy families and to make friends. Although child-only activities may be too stressful for him at first, family activities are safe and provide good opportunities to observe, coach, and support him.

De Pree, Max. Leadership Is an Art. New York: Currency, 2004.

One of the particular skills that leaders are required to exemplify in practice is the indispensable knack for building and nurturing relationships.

Authentic leaders see it as part of their calling to guide a group or organization in designing the kind of community they intend to become.

…the art of leadership: liberating people to do what is required of them in the most effective and humane way possible.

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant and a debtor. That sums up the progress of an artful leader.

The signs of outstanding leadership appear primarily among the followers. Are the followers reaching their potential? Are they learning? Serving? Do they achieve the required results? Do they change with grace? Manage conflict?

Leadership is much more an art, a belief, a condition of the heart, than a set of things to do.