The Frustration Factor

Be open to ideas and suggestions from anyone.

You know a proactive leader is mentally well-organized and has a vast supply of ideas and information at his mental fingertips. Well, now just where do you think all that wisdom came from? Did he figure it all out by himself? Not on his best day, my friend.

a proactive leader is a mental sponge and he goes around soaking up ideas and suggestions everywhere, from everyone. He says, I can't use the idea I didn't hear or follow the suggestion I didn't listen to.

His special strategy here goes beyond being open and listening though. a proactive leader's secret is he learns something from every idea, every suggestion, whomever its source. He listens and then he learns. That winning combination, listen and learn, is a proactive leader's real success secret. …

Understand problems and issues from other people's points of view.

This technique goes nicely with listen and learn. Have you ever told someone about how a problem or issue looks from your point of view only to be told, I don't see it that way. Let me tell you what the real issues are here.

What is the not so subtle message to you?

You've got this all wrong. It's not that way at all. You are either stupid or out of touch with the real world. I am the source of all things right and will condescend to educate you.

You will never get that kind of demeaning approach from a proactive leader. First, such disrespect is just not a proactive leader's style. More importantly, he knows by using that approach, he loses. Just as he gets most of his ideas from others, he also gets most of his insights and new perspectives from other people. How does he do that?

He listens and learns. He takes time to understand your perspective, to get your take on things. When he walks away, he has more of what he needs to lead.

He has what he knows and now has part of what you know too. It is only a matter of time until a proactive leader becomes brilliant, one conversation at a time.

Make sure a job can be done before holding anyone responsible for it.

Now there is a no-brainer for you. Who but an idiot would hold someone responsible for a job that cannot be done?

Alas my friend, if idiots could fly, many so called leaders would have their own airports. Have you ever seen a project fail and someone reflexively gets reprimanded or fired?

Never mind the project's history of success was limited to visions in someone's mind. It happens on a grand scale and in little situations, but expecting the impossible and holding someone accountable happens often and repeatedly.

It will not happen with you when you associate with a proactive leader though. You will be expected to try, to give it your best. You will not be held responsible for its not working out though, unless he can objectively confirm it was doable.

Be clear with people about what you expect.

This starts with being clear about whether you actually expect the job to be done. You may only expect the person to give it a try, work on it if there is time, or to do as much as interest and resources allow. Alternatively, you may expect the job to be done and done on time.

Do you expect the person to work alone or to get help?

Do you expect perfection or will just getting it done suffice today?

a proactive leader knows being clear about expectations is a touchstone of great leadership. If you are on his winning team, you will always be clear about what he expects. You will never have to wonder or have doubts about that.

Take time to be sure people understand how their jobs fit in with other jobs and activities.

a proactive leader does not go overboard here,

If you let fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, then your life will be safe, expedient and thin. Katharine Butler Hathaway

The implication here is that fear of consequence is pretty normal. so having some, or maybe even a lot, isn't that much of a big deal. The big deal is having a life that is safe, expedient, and thin.

What the problem with this actually is remains hidden. so you are simply expected to intuit it, it seems. The rub is that you have little faith in your abilities and less faith in your basic grasp or understanding of situations or circumstances. Since you don't believe that you can trust your judgment or instinct, you don't take a chance on yourself. You likewise don't have much faith in your ability to anticipate or predict the behavior of other people. Your belief is that you cannot predict if a specific action of yours will lead to good or bad outcomes. Usually, you think the likely outcome of following your judgment will be bad. You don't trust yourself and feel that any errors or mistakes you might make will likely be just another example of your screwing up. …

Given that reality, a life that is safe, expedient, and thin sounds like a reasonable alternative. There is a potential glitch in going with the safe alternative though. Brooke Foss Westcott described it this way,

Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or we grow weak, and at last some crisis shows us what we have become.

Fortunately, Eleanor Roosevelt suggested another alternative that you may want to consider.

I believe that anyone can conquer fear by doing the things he fears to do, provided he keeps doing them until he gets a record of successful experiences behind him.

Sure, conquering fear sounds good in theory. but it's certainly easier said than done. As you weigh your choices, Glenn Turner's point deserves your attention,

Worrying is like a rocking chair. it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.

Ruth Gordon also joined the fear fighters,

Courage is like a muscle. it is strengthened by use.

and as you might have expected, the famous Anon. added a tidbit as well,

The mighty oak was once a little nut that stood its ground.

Since the Fear vs. Safe debate can't be resolved here, another thought or two will be enough for now. Haddon Robinson said,

What worries you, masters you.

and Roger Babson said,

If things go wrong, don't go with them.

There you go. Do what you need to do, when you need to do it. and while you're at it, adopt the Charlie Brown philosophy for fear management,

I've developed a new philosophy … I only dread one day at a time.

If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it.

William Arthur Ward

This isn't altogether true but is definitely a popular, self-affirming message for most people, most of the time. One can easily imagine being faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and perhaps even leaping one of those tall buildings in a single bound. but no matter how much you dream, you still aren't turning into Superman. It's also true that you may find that you have achieved things you never imagined and have become someone you didn't think it was possible for you to become, in your wildest dreams. Unfortunately, that can work in both positive and negative directions. The reality is that imagining and dreaming can lead to achievement and becoming, but only within limits. Exploring those limits is instructive.

Imagination and dreaming can assist in avoiding bad outcomes and finding oneself in undesirable circumstances.

The Aliens Amongst Us are continuing to assimilate as Earth humans. This spring afternoon, they are catching their first Major League Baseball game. It’s a strange new experience for them. Please join them as they try to figure out what all the hoopla is about.

Pitch in and do what needs done.

Leaders are doers. This is a simple principle but a proactive leader has elevated it to an art form. You can count on a proactive leader to do what needs done and to give his 110%. Lazy is not a term anyone uses when talking about a proactive leader.

What you also need to know is that he expects the same from everyone on his team. Put this in context though. Pitching in does not apply to other people's work. If it needs done and they are not doing it, you can be certain it will get done, even if he needs to do it himself. At the same time, a proactive leader will take whatever action is necessary to assure such negligence does not recur. Doing what needs done starts with doing what you are expected to do.

Having said that, there is always this and that needing done with no one specifically responsible for doing it. On a proactive leader's team, it does not have to be said that he will and does pitch in. The same level of responsibility and initiative is the order of the day for everyone else. …

Keep focused on getting the job done.

Of course, a proactive leader does not get into being negative and depressed about things. You already know he accepts personal responsibility for his attitude and behavior. He knows too it is easy to lose focus, to lose track of the goal.

Here is where a proactive leader along with all truly effective leaders excels. Every event, every situation, every transaction is viewed by a proactive leader through the mission's lens. Others may let their focus drift, but a proactive leader is always there to bring them back. Others may be more focused some days than others, but he is there to sharpen their perspectives, to keep them continuously on task.

How does he do this? It always comes down to his bottom line. He is obsessed with why he does what he does and with the cost of not doing it well, the first time, on time, every time. For a proactive leader, the potential cost of losing focus is just too high.

Have faith in those who make the journey with you.

This starts with living the values and beliefs that are the trademarks of leaders who have carefully developed excellence. Specifically, it starts with not reflexively blaming or accusing someone whenever there is a problem. That initial level of faith is followed by believing people are normally honest and trustworthy. If you start by assuming a problem's coming up does not necessarily mean someone screwed up, you have opened your mind to the alternative possibilities. Assuming that team members are honest and trustworthy allows you to comfortably collaborate with them. Together, in the spirit of trust and good faith, you can best understand the problem and how to reduce the likelihood of its recurring.

a proactive leader knows problems are usually not caused by anyone's inadequacy or failure. They are caused by the unexpected, by the improbable, or by things that could not be predicted or controlled. To start with the people instead of the problem runs a high chance of never solving the problem. It also runs an even higher risk of breaking trust with people, with the team. If the problem turns out to be with one or more of the people, a proactive leader has strategies for handling that, but he has faith in you and invariably initiates problem solving from a good faith perspective.

What do you think so far? Is a proactive leader a leader worthy of being followed by you? He is certainly demanding of those who would follow and has very high expectations for anyone who would join his team. If a proactive leader's mission is one with which you identify, do you think teaming with him is your path to success? a proactive leader is intense and not particularly open to those who would try to change or modify his mission. If you want to go where he is going, then welcome aboard.

1. Be positive and energetic whether things are going well or going badly.

This is a point where the wrong conclusion is at hand. a proactive leader most assuredly does not see the plumbing's backing up as a great opportunity to bond with the plumber, just as he does not get suddenly energized by bad news. At the same time, he does not take the fact the plumbing backed up out on everyone else and does not act like someone let the air out of his tires whenever the news is not good.

Neither temper tantrums nor pouting are consistent with a proactive leader's approach to problems and disappointments. He gave that nonsense up by the first grade. His attitude and commitment are his responsibilities and not reactions to people and events. If you are on a proactive leader's winning team, you get the Proactive Leader you have come to know and count on, at his best, every day, every time, no exceptions, no excuses. …

2. Accurately understand and appreciate your skills and limitations.

Knowing what he does well and then doing it well are among a proactive leader's strongest assets. What you need to know is he will make a point of learning what you do well so you too spend most of your time in the strength of your game. He understands his team cannot excel unless all team members spend most of their time doing what they do best.

There is another side of this strategy that is equally important though. a proactive leader knows his limitations and will come to know yours. The team is then developed in part by filling in the identified limitations with people who are strong in those areas. Beyond this, a proactive leader is making a personal point. His limitations keep him from achieving his mission. He does not have the skills, know-how, and resources to get there by himself. For a proactive leader, you are not just a follower, a member of the winning team. You are critical to his success.

3. Be well-organized.

Organization is among the few absolutely critical characteristics of a successful leader. a proactive leader's special brand of organization goes far beyond the day to day need to keep track of things and activities though. He has an organized mind. a proactive leader can and does think about things in an unusually organized way, has at his mental fingertips a huge range of relevant information and concepts, and routinely demonstrates his special ability to mentally organize complex problems and issues.

a proactive leader's level of mental organization sets him apart from merely competent leaders. He fully understands what needs to be understood. This by itself is impressive. The truly amazing thing though, is a proactive leader maintains this level of organization over time, as circumstances change, as what is important shifts, as information serves its purpose and is replaced with new information. Among other benefits for the team, a proactive leader's exceptional mental organization lets him see problems before they are problems, opportunities before they are opportunities, and solutions before others recognize there is an issue. By the time something needs done, he has already done it. His master touch is he makes it look easy. Unless you observe closely, you may never know anything exceptional is happening, right before your eyes.

The devil is in the details. That is my only point here. What can be missed is the fact this devil is particularly devilish. Every situation, set of circumstances, problem, or issue has its broad-brush look and feel. From that perspective, it takes on its special definition. Given that definition, a proactive leader can draw on his insight and experience and take appropriate action. He does not need the details to know what to do. In fact, he is so oriented to managing people and processes at this level he quickly becomes impatient with those who insist on providing far more detail than he wants or needs.

Less successful leaders take a different approach. They want and need every detail, no matter how trivial. They believe the more information they have, the better will be their choices and decisions. These leaders see themselves as thoughtful and thorough. Proactive leaders are, they think, impulsive and inclined to shoot from the hip.

Here is the underlying problem. No matter how much detailed information leaders have, there is most always more information that could be made available, if they are patient enough. There are also things they cannot know and details that will not be forthcoming no matter how patient they are. It is normally possible to know more and impossible to know everything.

Leaders always act based on partial information. The challenge is knowing when to act and when to wait on more detail. Were that not enough, information tends to go down in proportion to the potential unwanted consequences of the decision or choice. The more potential there is for bad outcomes, the less well-informed the leader is likely to be. In these situations, successful leaders tend to act too quickly and less successful leaders tend to get bogged down in the details and postpone action indefinitely.

Understanding these facts of leadership, Attend to the details without getting bogged down in them. If you are apt to act too quickly, slow down and assimilate more detail. If instead, you are apt to obsess over the details, take a deep breath and act. Either way, you may want to use a proactive leader's secret technique. He sets a specific, future time to decide. This forces him to consider more detail and to get more input. It also forces a closure to input and an end point for attending to detail. When the time comes to decide, he decides. As a wise and experienced leader put it, When the bell rings, you just jump on the bull and hope you can hang on.

The Great Mouse has again been spotted in the city near the airport. Our intrepid hunters zero in on the Great Mouse, hoping this will be the time they prevail. The Great Mouse ducks into the parking garage and on into the terminal. The chase is on, with the hunters taking full advantage of their new lasers which they were gifted from the terrorist taskforce. This may be the time the hunters finally corner and capture the Great Mouse. Please join the hunt.

Douglas Adams had what was likely an important insight into the nature of free will. If you were free to do what you will, what would you choose?

Before you take your pick, here is Adams’ point for you to contemplate, “It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.”

A particularly good time to do your contemplating is the next time you are doing the laundry or find yourself parked on the freeway during rush hour or trying to figure out how to negotiate the new login procedure for the office network. Your conclusion may be that Mark Twain had a point when he said, “I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.”

Red Auerbach said, “The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology.” Now isn’t that just dandy. It likely means the key to correct actions is to never make a mistake, to never make an error in judgment, to never make a social or emotional miscalculation …. You get the idea.

Red may have identified the key, but using it may be a bit risky. It is the same key that locks the door to personal growth, more fulfilling relationships, and expanding opportunity. So long as you don’t overdo it, an occasional apology is, as grandpa liked to say, “A good way to have the last word.” Just be sure to keep Kimberly Johnson’s caution in mind when you apologize, “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

You may be tempted to presume self-confidence is a good quality merely because it improves your performance. People who are self-confident generally do better than those who aren’t.

Feeling confident does enhance one’s functioning, but that is only the half of it. As Lord Chesterfield said, “Polished brass will pass upon more people than rough gold.” The point is that looking confident may be as important as being confident. Niccolo Machiavelli put it like this, “Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration.” Daniel Webster expanded on the point, “The world is governed more by appearance than realities so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.”

Baltasar Gracian may have been excessively cynical, “Things do not pass for what they are, but for what they seem. Most things are judged by their jackets.” Even so, Ivy Compton-Burnett’s view is likely at least partially correct, “Appearances are not held to be a clue to the truth. But we seem to have no other.” The take home point is to be sure, along with being self-confident, you also appear to be who you want others to think you are. For example, Along with feeling like a winner, you also need to look like a winner.

In the last chapter, we saw a successful leadership connection supports and furthers the mutual interests of the agency and the person with whom the connection is made. For a successful connection, the agency has to be very clear about what its interests are. Why? is not for the sake of yesterday. We never use leadership connections to complain or whine about things that have already happened. We may report past events for the sake of the record or to make it clear we are disappointed or unhappy; but if we do, we are cautious, understanding such actions and behavior seldom accomplish anything useful. They definitely do not serve to positively reinforce our leadership connections. Criticizing, blaming, accusing, threatening, or any other version of finger pointing is counterproductive. It is seldom if ever in the agency's best interest. There is an old saying that the squeaky wheel gets the grease. This is occasionally true; but equally true is the fact if it keeps squeaking; sooner or later it simply gets removed from the wagon.

Leadership connections serve multiple agency interests, but those interests are in the future. The connections are for the sake of future events, situations, and circumstances. This includes providing and receiving information about areas of mutual interest, along with staying current on happenings within the agency and within the stakeholder's area. It includes a continuing opportunity to influence each other in ways working to the advantage of the agency and the stakeholder. Each connection serves to improve the odds for future success of both participants.

Reciprocity is a key feature of successful leadership connections. There is and should be a good measure of give and take in every leadership connection. The point that may not be obvious is a fair degree of equity in that give and take is essential. From the agency's point of view, however, the balance stays tipped away from the agency in favor of the stakeholder. On average, the stakeholder gets a little more out of the relationship than the agency. When the time comes when the agency receives significantly more than it gives and that time will come the agency will have a sufficient balance with the stakeholder to handle the temporary inequity without jeopardizing the connection. The underlying concept here may be thought of as Leadership Banking.

Justin brings you a narration of the first section of Three Steps To Success: A Self-help Toolbox for Young Readers. This link takes you to the books page on Amazon: Three Steps To Success Justin hopes you enjoy his narration and I hope you and your young readers enjoy the book.