The Frustration Factor

When should toilet training begin? First, it should not begin until your child seems to know what the potty is for and can relate the idea to "making messes" in her clothing. For most children, this relationship does not become clear until they are about twenty-four months old. By that age children have enough bowel and bladder control to participate in the toilet training process. If you wait until your child is about thirty months old, she will probably start training herself.

Some parents have children sit on the potty immediately after meals, as if they will eliminate the food just consumed. But since it takes several hours for foods and liquids to pass through their systems, it makes more sense to encourage your child to use the potty when you use the bathroom. She likely will be willing to try to "go" while you are in the bathroom modeling appropriate toilet behavior. Even if she does not use the potty, she will enjoy the attention and verbal interaction.

Since people typically use the toilet immediately before going to bed and immediately after getting up in the morning, encourage your children to try to potty at those times. It also helps to encourage them to sit on the potty a few minutes every four or five hours. Once in a while, they urinate or have a bowel movement when sitting on the potty. At such times your enthusiastic approval reinforces the behavior. If your child wants you to look at what he has done, it is only fair to visually inspect the product of his efforts.

In addition, consistently help your child change clothing after each accident. Tell him calmly he has made a mess and has to put on clean clothes. If you disapprove of the mess, so will your child. Infrequently, children discover messing or wetting their pants is a very good way to upset you. If this happens, simply ignore the behavior for a few days. Even so, you have gotten into quite a bind with your child. …

When should toilet training begin? First, it should not begin until your child seems to know what the potty is for and can relate the idea to "making messes" in her clothing. For most children, this relationship does not become clear until they are about twenty-four months old. By that age children have enough bowel and bladder control to participate in the toilet training process. If you wait until your child is about thirty months old, she will probably start training herself.

Some parents have children sit on the potty immediately after meals, as if they will eliminate the food just consumed. But since it takes several hours for foods and liquids to pass through their systems, it makes more sense to encourage your child to use the potty when you use the bathroom. She likely will be willing to try to "go" while you are in the bathroom modeling appropriate toilet behavior. Even if she does not use the potty, she will enjoy the attention and verbal interaction.

Since people typically use the toilet immediately before going to bed and immediately after getting up in the morning, encourage your children to try to potty at those times. It also helps to encourage them to sit on the potty a few minutes every four or five hours. Once in a while, they urinate or have a bowel movement when sitting on the potty. At such times your enthusiastic approval reinforces the behavior. If your child wants you to look at what he has done, it is only fair to visually inspect the product of his efforts.

In addition, consistently help your child change clothing after each accident. Tell him calmly he has made a mess and has to put on clean clothes. If you disapprove of the mess, so will your child. Infrequently, children discover messing or wetting their pants is a very good way to upset you. If this happens, simply ignore the behavior for a few days. Even so, you have gotten into quite a bind with your child. …

Have you figured out how to pass the time while sitting at an airport waiting on that plane that is late again? Well, a few folks from the podcasting team were in that very pickle. No choice but to sit and wait and nothing to do. You might find their solution interesting, especially since you may not have much else to do right now but listen. If that’s not your situation, whether you listen is optional. If you give them seven minutes, I hope you enjoy.

At a broad level, the Leadership Team's responsibilities are not complex. The team identifies, establishes, and maintains the array of leadership connections best serving the agency's interests and those of its stakeholders. Embedded here is a critical concept. Each connection is two-way and has to be mutually beneficial. Part of what sustains the connection is the What's in it for me? factor. The connection benefits the agency but also benefits the stakeholder. Of course, the agency's interests are furthered. It is equally important each connection also furthers the interests of the stakeholder.

A good starting point for developing the Leadership Perspective is to think about what connections should be established for the specific agency. Some caution is important here. It is very easy to get this step so complicated no one actually takes it in a thoughtful and systematic way. My experience tells me, if this happens, the step is simply skipped. The result then is a more or less haphazard approach to leadership, with the agency never quite achieving the Leadership Perspective. With this caution in mind, consider how to identify the connections best serving the agency's interests.

Start with connections within the local Helping Triangle and specifically with 0-A connections with potential clients. Before identifying people, two questions have to be asked and answered. What is the agency's interest in establishing connections with these stakeholders? We have to know why we want to make the connections before investing the time and resources required to establish and maintain them. A somewhat subtle point is important here. Our focus is on outcomes and not on input. The value of the connections is in the future, not today. For example, the agency is interested in providing more responsive, more appropriate services as time goes on. The connections are expected to support this outcome. The agency's interest is in getting better and better at getting better and better; and solid connections with potential clients help achieve this end.

With a clear sense of why the agency wants to establish the connections in mind, there is a second question to ask and answer. What is each stakeholder's interest in establishing a connection with the agency? More specifically, what's in it for a potential client? Focus is again on output, not input. How will the potential client be better off tomorrow as a result of investing time and energy in the connection today? – Keep in mind this is a Leadership Connection and not the same as receiving or providing agency services and supports. It is important to refrain from pursuing the connection until we have seriously thought about the question and have an answer. For example, a payment or other reward might be appropriate in some situations, while not in others. Others might value helping people they know by contributing to increased availability of better services. Some may appreciate the opportunity to call attention to something they do not like about the agency or its services. Still others may be eager to share their ideas about what they think would really be helpful to people who are experiencing the types of issues and challenges for which the agency exists. Each person has his or her perspective and interests. This step requires learning what those perspectives and interests are and assuring the connection conforms with and supports those perspectives and interests. …

It's Down On The Farm. There's not much else to say. Have a listen.

This is the final broadcast from the former home of the Aliens Amongst Us. Intercept reports that the Aliens have departed. Please listen to get the details of their departure. Intercept1 has advised us that he will continue to monitor their transmissions if there are more. Any interceptions of their transmissions will be shared with you on the flagship channel of the Audio Tidbits Podcast Network at GaryCrow.net. It has been a pleasure sharing the activities of the Aliens Amongst Us with you.

 

Be well, do well and keep safe. – Intercept1

This is the final broadcast from the former home of the Aliens Amongst Us. Intercept reports that the Aliens have departed. Please listen to get the details of their departure. Intercept1 has advised us that he will continue to monitor their transmissions if there are more. Any interceptions of their transmissions will be shared with you on the flagship channel of the Audio Tidbits Podcast Network at GaryCrow.net. It has been a pleasure sharing the activities of the Aliens Amongst Us with you.

 

Be well, do well and keep safe. – Intercept1

a proactive leader knows his primary role is to help you succeed. You are not responsible for his success but he assuredly is responsible for facilitating yours. His task is to provide for you the best possible opportunity to get where you are committed to going. He saw your commitment and supported your being on his team because you are headed where he and the other members of the team want to go. From his perspective, you are his customer and he is growing a relationship with you.

Value your customers, those who benefit from your products and services.

As a member of a proactive leader's winning team, your commitment to customer service will reach new heights. You will learn to be more responsive to the needs and interests of your customers than you had thought possible. Meeting or exceeding your customers' expectations is yesterday's standard. On a proactive leader's team, every transaction with your customers is an opportunity to grow your relationship with them.

Whether your customers are interested in the advance of knowledge or a better hamburger, responsive public services or appropriate life insurance, a proactive leader's team is there for them. Association with a proactive leader's team is the road to wonderful outcomes for you and for your customers.

Have you ever been driven up the wall by a mainliner? "What's a mainliner?" you ask. Read on. You likely are already familiar with the type and how they can cause havoc in your company.

 

Mainliners cannot be bothered with elementary groundwork.

 

These players will plunge into any project without so much as a pretense of preparation or planning. They rely on their instincts and agility. They are usually from the group who never bothered to do their homework in high school. Later, they wrote their college papers the night before they were due, without inhibiting themselves with trivia such as a trip to the library. In a pinch, they used someone else's notes. The solution is always at hand if the player is observant enough and clever enough to recognize it.

 

Mainliners assume that actually knowing how to do a job is irrelevant.

 

The essence of this technique is seeing that "knowing how" only limits and inhibits the range and flexibility of expert players.

 

The blind spot here for non-Players is in understanding what "knowing how" refers to. The uninitiated think that "knowing how" means you have specific knowledge and skills related to the task or problem. They also think that related experience is useful.

 

Dyed-in-the-wool mainliners understand that, for them, these kinds of things are not important. The only skill they need is an ability and willingness to dive in and to keep poking. Usually, things have a way of working out. If not, truly creative mainliners either abandon the task or call in a specialist, taking full credit for saving the day. -- Read and learn.

 

Liz is an engineer assigned to troubleshoot a lockup problem with a computer installation at a small retail business. For some reason, the main application and the operating system are not interfacing correctly. The result is that the system is lockingup and the business is having trouble staying open.

 

Liz's first approach is to say that the people operating the system are causing the problem. When this does not hold up, she next attributes the difficulties to a hardware problem or bug in the operating system. Again, the explanation does not stick. Finally, she reverts to type as an experienced mainliner.

 

There are a few minor deviations from specifications in the way the business uses the system. One part of the application is one no other customers use.

 

"You are the only user who has tried to use this function. It's only an add-on to the main application. We did not expect it to be used on a daily basis. That is what your problem is."

 

"Well, it's important for us to use this function. How soon are you going to fix it so it doesn't keep locking up?"

 

Sure, Liz knows just what to say. "This problem is unique to your system. You will need to exercise your support agreements with the hardware and operating system vendors. They will need to straighten out your problems with their installations before we can help."

 

"We bought the system from your company. Aren't you going to stand behind your sales?"

 

Liz is again ready. "We will support you 100 percent. Just as soon as you get the other problems worked out, I will see you have a specialist assigned to the problem." A specialist? Yes indeed. That is someone, anyone other than Liz. That's the way to pass the old buck!

 

Mainliners start before understanding what you expect.

 

This technique is axiomatic for mainliners. To find out what you expect is a waste of their time. Adroit players have no intention of doing anything other than what comes to hand. This is called "winging it."