Why is wholesome speech one of the hardest precepts to navigate?

Using the present Israeli / Palestinian conflict as an example, Tom Baker explores the many nuances of wise conversation, including:

• The ways our words cause suffering
• The intoxicating aspect of slander and gossip
• The mindfulness component of watching our speech
• Listening with our whole presence
• Our responsibility to speak out against injustice
• Overcoming our reluctance to speak up for ourselves
• A Buddhist perspective on freedom of speech

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Tetsugen Tom Baker is a Soto Zen priest in the lineage of Shunryu Suzuki-Roshi. He was ordained by Shinki Mark Lancaster at Dragon’s Leap Temple in 2017. He practices in the “Marketplace Priest” tradition. Long active in the Meditation in Recovery group, he was a founder of the off-shoot monthly Zen Men in 2015.

Tom works in the Geriatrics Division at UCSF and specializes in Palliative Care and end-of-life issues. He married his husband Gary Dexter in November 2021.

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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

What is humanity's relationship to change?
In this talk, Syra Smith shares her thoughts on impermanence, leading with this quote:

"Change is the thread woven through the fabric of Human existence, a constant force shaping our journey. In transition, we navigate the spectrum of emotions, from the excitement of new beginnings to the discomfort of uncertainty. It is in these moments that growth unfurls, pushing us beyond familiar boundaries. Like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon we transform, shedding old layers to reveal the evolving tapestry of our identity.  The dance of change, though challenging, whispers the promise of resilience and the beauty of embracing the unknown."
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Syra Smith is an artist, facilitator and Dharma Teacher interested in deep ecology and manifesting a culture where we can turn toward fearless abundance and generosity. Her grandmothers are Choctaw-Chickasaw and include those among the first freed black African women to own land in her country. Syra's studies and practices are deeply rooted in the heart and along the path toward awakening more fully to the truth of freedom in our lives.

A lifelong meditator and SF Bay Area native, Syra began her personal meditation practice as a teen in 1988 and has been practicing in the Theravada Buddhist tradition since 2009. She graduated East Bay Meditation Center’s Commit to Dharma program in 2011 and became a Spirit Rock Community Dharma Leader in 2017. Syra teaches Insight Meditation and mindfulness throughout the SF Bay Area and beyond and proudly serves as Core Teacher with the San Francisco LGBT Sangha. Syra is honored to serve as Board President as well as on the Guiding Teachers Council with San Francisco Insight.  More information and her teaching calendar are available at https://projectroot.org/

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To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Enjoy a full 5-day retreat experience with these recordings from GBF's Spring 2024 Retreat, held at Vajrapani Insititute. Includes dharma talks, chanting and guided meditations. 

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Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Enjoy a full 5-day retreat experience with these recordings from GBF's Spring 2024 Retreat, held at Vajrapani Insititute. Includes dharma talks, chanting and guided meditations. 

______________

Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Enjoy a full 5-day retreat experience with these recordings from GBF's Spring 2024 Retreat, held at Vajrapani Insititute. Includes dharma talks, chanting and guided meditations. 

______________

Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Enjoy a full 5-day retreat experience with these recordings from GBF's Spring 2024 Retreat, held at Vajrapani Insititute. Includes dharma talks, chanting and guided meditations. 

______________

Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Enjoy a full 5-day retreat experience with these recordings from GBF's Spring 2024 Retreat, held at Vajrapani Insititute. Includes dharma talks, chanting and guided meditations. 

______________

Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Recorded at the 2024 GBF Spring Retreat at Vajrapani Institute, April 18, 2024

A chanting session precedes the talk, which begins at 29:50

A Primer for Entering Retreat

Though much of our practice may be solitary, retreat can be a time to emphasize the richness of shared spiritual life. In addition to a collective, interwoven practice, retreats can also call us to go deeper by getting real with ourselves and our lives—especially as we age—by integrating parts of our experience we may have once left out.

In this rich talk, Sean Feit Oakes introduces two classic Buddhist paths of practice:

1. Samatha (calming/centering) – Settling the mind, working with energy, and cultivating samadhi (deep stillness and stability).
2. Vipassana (insight/clarity) – Cultivating profound vision through investigation and curiosity.

Working with Energies and Hindrances

To help us deepen in practice, Sean explores the Five Hindrances that obstruct samadhi (steadiness and joy in meditation):

• Sensual Desire – Wanting pleasurable contact through the senses.
• Ill Will – Pushing away what's unpleasant.
• Sloth and Torpor – Dullness, laziness, low energy.
• Restlessness and Worry – Nervous energy, mental spinning.
• Doubt – The inner voice that says, “Why bother?”

Growing Into Wisdom

In the second part of the talk, Sean reflects on how emotional and spiritual maturation—like growing out of youthful obsessions—mirrors the process of deepening into wisdom. With time and perspective, we don’t just gain knowledge—we develop wisdom, the kind that helps us meet life's fluctuations with calm and clarity. Sean likens enlightenment to “absolute maturity,” and highlights how true elderhood is earned through long engagement with life’s joys and losses.

The Heart of the Dharma

Sean underscores how real spiritual maturity requires presence with suffering, not turning away. He honors the wisdom found in queer communities, where grief, loss, and resilience have shaped a unique kind of elderhood. He offers a gentle but strong call to become lights on the path for others—through:

• Steadiness of heart and mind,
• Clarity that comes from facing impermanence,
• Courage to stay with difficult emotions,
• Bright-hearted resilience that resists bitterness.

He closes by reminding us that the invitation of the Dharma is not just insight, but transformation—a deep, grounded presence in the world that benefits not just ourselves, but all beings.

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Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Enjoy a full 5-day retreat experience with these recordings from GBF's Spring 2024 Retreat, held at Vajrapani Insititute. Includes dharma talks, chanting and guided meditations. 

______________

Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Enjoy a full 5-day retreat experience with these recordings from GBF's Spring 2024 Retreat, held at Vajrapani Insititute. Includes dharma talks, chanting and guided meditations. 

______________

Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. Learn more at https://SeanFeitOakes.com

______________
To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/
There you can:

• Donate
• Learn how to participate live
• Find our schedule of upcoming speakers
• Join our mailing list or discussion forum
• Enjoy many hundreds of these recorded talks dating back to 1996

CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter