With NYC Mayor Eric Adams expressing the deeply researched opinion that protestors at Columbia University are being propped up by "outside agitators", let's once again revisit the 2011 clip in which which Adams --- a NY State senator at the time --- provided tips for beleaguered parents on how to properly search and seize guns and drugs from their childrens' bedrooms. "There are no First Amendment rights in your household, " Adams promised, and it doesn't appear as though there were any Second Amendment rights either (perhaps the future Mayor thought he was taken a stand against a fanzine revival) .

s I, like many of you, am overcome with PLAYOFF FEVER.  Whether imy favorite basketball team's heroic attempts to win a championship for one of the world's worst humans (and one of the top 5 worst guitar players) or my favorite hockey team's heroic atempt to win a championship for the very same worst human (and embarrassment to all-things-guitar), I'm not sure how I am meant to focus on music this spring. The first time I tried inhalants I envisioned sacrifices as having something or other to do with killing for satan, but in the many years (ok, weeks) since I did those inhalants, I have come to understand that true sacrifice means hard work (ie this radio show) and putting a cause above your own self interests.  The second part of that should really be optional, but as the saying goes DON'T MENTION THE SCORE, some of us are recording the greatest radio program of all time while the rest of you are watching the game

This week'd program was recorded, uploaded and published to all of the relevant platforms but I am sorry to say the the entire episode had to be taken down due to some unfortunate remarks by the host (ie. me).   In the aftermath of Monday’s WNBA’s draft, I suggested that one very prominent player (whose name I will not type because I am tired of having my car keyed) “couldn’t be bothered to get dressed up for the event”.  Well, as many of you have been all too happy to inform me, said superstar-to-be, was in fact, custom outfitted for the event by PRADA.   There’s an old saying in the online radio game — if your aesthetic is Modells discount bin  (see above) YOU DON’T GET TO EVER TALK ABOUT WHAT ANYONE ELSE IS WEARING.  I’ll try to keep in that mind going forward.   Also, I’ll try to stop bragging about having a car. 

This week we bid a not-so-fond farewell to "Coronation Street"'s Mason Radcliffe who appears to be headed for stretch in the stoney lonesome following his conviction on bullying & weapons charges.  With any luck, the small screen will no longer be graced by this paragon of abject dipshittery, with his zombie knives, ,his selling-vapes-to-children side hustle and his Richard Spencer haircut. To call this colossal schmuck the modern day Eddie Haskell is giving him and the show's creator's far, far too much credit.  May Radcliffe's prison stay be ENDLESS and when he eventually returns to Weatherfield, no doubt he'll be portrayed by another thespian, hopefully someone who's range is a tad deeper than "look like a complete asshole, 24/7"

This week's program --- while exceptional musically, as always --- finds your host remiss in acknowledging the passing of comedic titan JOE FLAHERTY, whose 8 year run as a cast member and writer for SCTV established such indelible characters as Guy Caballero, Sammy Maudlin and Count Floyd. That Flaherty's finest moments are currently unavailable on any streaming platform is not exactly the injustice of the century (this one or the last one), but it has to be considered somewhere in the top 25 injustices of the century. Making a list of those injustices and/or taking a listener poll is the sort of thing another, far more popular program is likely to trade in and I hope you enjoy the suspense (when playing someone else's show).

When I began this program nearly 4 years ago, I had some pretty lofty aspirations.  With the world engulfed in a horrific pandemic, it was up to someone (ME) to address to looming paucity of online radio shows(the CDC won’t admit it, but we were in danger of falling to fewer than one show per member of the adult population).  As much as it was quickly obvious this endeavor was going to raise the medium to new heights (or at the very least go from a medium to an extra large), I don’t think I ever would’ve imagined my many friends and associates would shell out for a congratulatory message from NCISfanatic.com.   It doesn’t get much more humbling, though you’ve got nearly 4 years to arrange something for episode 400 (preferably ANYTHING else)
 

Not since the 2013 release of Black Flag's 'What The...' has semi-prominent album release featured cover art nearly as diabolical as Sebastian Bach's forthcoming 'Child Within The Man', though spare a thought for the original designer who misheard his instructions and delivered a sleeve bearing the title, 'Man Within The Child', which for obvious reasons would not fly. Nearly 5000 recycled jackets later, here we are with a printed cover which is deeply confusing (as opposed to highly offensive). Analysis of the aesthetic atrocity in question takes up much of this week's program, though you'll be pleased or relieved to know none of the music is featured. Not for the usual rights clearance issues, mind you, I misplaced the album on the "Bach" shelf and now i can't find it anywhere.

Much as I thoroughly enjoy Fabio's "Strength Thru Failure" program on WFMU each week, I was a little concerned during yesterday's fund raising broadcast when the host sought to characterize his audience as "great listeners". Pandering aside, I could not help but wonder, HOW GREAT ARE THEY REALLY? Take this show for instance. I am sure each of you has some remarkable attributes and maybe there's a small percentage that could realistically be called "great". But great listeners? Great at listening? I've been incorporating subliminal messages in The Radio Hour That Feels Like Two Hours for nearly 200 episodes, and not one of you has followed my instructions when it comes to transferring money from your bank account to mine. No one has done my bidding and sought to slay or dismember any of my enemies. If i want snacks I HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE. At best, you're all mediocre listeners, maybe not even that.

as we're in the run up to that trade fair to end all trade fairs, South By Southwest, I've been made aware that some artists are boycotting the event due to SXSW's ties to Ray Of Today.  While fully respecting the right of any performers, established or not, to make their own decisions, it's hard for me to understand the depth of animus toward Mr. Cappo.  I mean, last time i checked yoga seemed universally popular.  Sure, raw foodism isn't for everyone but it's not as though healthy eating is a prerequisite for enjoying the music of Youth Of Today or Shelter (contrary to popular belief, no one ever had a kebab knocked out of their hands at a Youth Of Today show, though that might have more to do with no one serving or selling kebabs at the venue).  Everyone has to do what they believe is right but this seems a little hysterical, and you won't find a bigger critic of SXSW than me (save for Victor Wembanyama whose Austin showcase is scheduled for the day EVERYONE GOES HOME, WTF) 
 
 (UPDATE : OK, it seems this has nothing to do with Ray Of Today and it’s all about RAYTHEON’s presence at SXSW.  Which is a different matter entirely. Please ignore the post above, though I do think there’s a lot to be said for exploring raw foodism)
 

Not to put myself on too high a pedestal, but I tend to think of this program as a public service (you're welcome).  And I'm sure many of you have been wondering, "is it possible to fully comprehend the plot twists and intricate character studies of 'The Equalizer 3' if I've not seen 'The Equalizer 2'?"  Well, i think that is a very fair question and it poses even more questions. For instance, presumably things were equalized at the conclusion of "The Equalizer", then thrown into a state of unequality following "The Equalizer 2".  Without giving away the twist ending, I'm here to assure you that with the resolution of "The Equalizer 3", once again, we have achieved EQUALITY.  And by we, I of course mean fictitious persons in a made-up world.  Here back on earth, the boot remains on the neck of those oppressed  and anyone daring to stand up for them will continue to be gas lit,, slurred or much, much worse.  
 
  Fun (?) fact : a ways back Denzel was top billed in a not so wonderful star vehicle called "Man On Fire", and no one questioned his or the filmmakers' mental health.  As though some of you assholes have ever cared about the mental health of anyone besides yourself.