In this episode, I chat with Osher Günsberg, Australian award-winning TV presenter, author, podcast host, writer, and mental health advocate.  

Osher talks openly about his self destructive early career years as a roadie, then radio DJ and TV host, including colourful and sometimes frightening stories of hitting rock bottom.  And how it was these moments that forced him, together with support of friends and colleagues, to let go of his independence and ego to then accept and ask for help.  

Some of the themes we cover are:

• The triggers to start to accept help can happen when your coping strategies are completely dwarfed by the amount of stress in your day-to-day life.
• Not accepting the help and support from professionals to deal with depression and anxiety, resulted in wasting 7 years of his life.
• Power of exercise as a regulator for mental health.  Pushing yourself to the limit helps to remove the worries in your head. 
• It's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the friendliest, since our brains are wired to be rewarded when we assist and help others.
• Practising a selfless culture of doing things for others, of being of service to others in your professional environment can improve the quality of work. 
• People are often all too happy to receive that "got time for a chat" call to help them get out of their brains and everyday worries.
• How different cultures significantly influence our attitude to help.  Specifically in contrast to the West, how in Fijian culture it would be an affront to not accept help.    

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

In this episode I chat with Tim Wotton.  A Cystic Fibrosis sufferer, who has been defying the odds all his life.  He wasn’t expected to live past his 17th birthday, but yet at 51 he continues to embrace life as a motivational speaker, author, hockey player and family man. 

He explains from how from a young age, he was forced to accept and ask for help.  How this has made him feel more like a survivor than a victim.  And that when he went to University he appreciated that help is out there in abundance, and people offer it out of love and the profound feeling they get by doing so. 

Some of the themes we cover are: 

• The power of the mind, nature, stillness and following your breath enable us to embrace our own wisdom. 
• How Tim historically managed his inevitable low moments and frustration with mental workouts and self-talk.  But also struggles to reach out for help to others during those times.
• Our brains are hard wired to negativity and hence often feel like a victim.   How using self-talk, anchoring yourself to the present and a fake-it til you make it approach can influence your physical health and how feel about it.  
• An attitude of practise makes progress to nurture positive self-care habits.
• The practise of Helping yourself by helping others, enables you to become less of a victim, by passing over compassion to others. 
• Asking for and accepting help by sharing the burden of survival embraces the ecosystem of willing and motivated helpers in your world.
• And when you realise people are waiting to be asked, how reaching out to close family and friends with the phrase ‘Your help please’ can be game-changing.  For you and for them.  By doing so it can make those around you more likely to offer you help  in the future versus waiting to be asked. 
• Most people offer help unconditionally, not expecting it to be returned, since it simply ‘serves them and their sense of self-worth.  

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

This clip is from my conversation with David Rosen.

We cover off the theme of how we should be more kind to ourselves, and that this can increase our instinct to actually help ourselves, and in the end of the wonderful outcome of helping each other.

Plus we discuss an example of how reaching out for help when you're feeling low, can help you and the other person be lifted. 

You can listen to the full episode with David here:  https://www.buzzsprout.com/2075728/11708501

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

A year ago I was admitted to hospital … and nearly said goodbye.  

It’s been the most extraordinary past 12 months of priceless lessons. So on Ashley 2.0’s birthday I wanted to share what I’ve learnt about life, myself and each other. 

Nothing would make me happier if they can help you as much as they’ve helped me.
 
 To commemorate this all, I proudly made this podcast.   And complied this list:

1. Compassionate connection.
2. Mutually fuelled friendships.
3. To give and receive a thinking-of-you message or call
4. Helping others is selflessly selfish. You both end up happier.
5. Cooking for yourself. And others.
6. Intentional breathing.
7. Quality sleep.
8. It’s ok to not be ok. And to share this with those around us.
9. Listening to how you are feeling more than how you are doing
10. The small moments of joy are the big moments - a heartfelt hug, a smile with eyes, a contagious giggle, a spontaneous compliment, to wake up to a healthy body. Even a fashion compliment from your teenage niece;)
11. To be active. And then be still
12. Rest 
13. Being  in nature: the forest, a lake, a river, the beach, the mountains, fresh snow, warm rain, gentle sun, bright flowers.
14. Being with animals: dogs, horses, ducks, birds… 
15. Smiling. With family, friends and strangers.
16. Losing your inhibitions.  Laugh, cry, shout, sing, dance. 
17. Accepting help with gratitude 
18. Asking for help with courage 
19. Offering help with no conditions 
20. Be grateful, and kind. To yourself.  And others
21. Cycling.  Moving your body, being outside, boosting your mental health. Chance to contemplate and be with yourself.  Or be social and connect. Some of the best chats and ideas have come on the bike.
22. 80:20 rule. Don’t have to like like a saint or monk all the time.  It ok to let yourself go every once in a while. The mood boost is usually worth it.  
23. I’ve learned about myself. The body is an extraordinary machine, if we let it do it’s thing.  It tells us what we need. We just need to listen. And fuel it with more of it needs and less of what we want. 
24. To be vulnerable is to be brave. 
25. Takes bravery to accept help and ask for it
26. Treating yourself is not selfish, it’s self care
27. Your mind is powerful in guiding your actions. Your heart is powerful in guiding your instinct. In how you most honestly live out your Your life 
28. How you’re feeling is more important than you’re doing.  Feeling comes from being aware of your own energy and that of the world around us. To lean into this is your best guide.
29. To be honest with yourself. By feeling more and thinking less. To then be more honest with those around us.
30. To be self aware, you need to be at peace with your past. To accept the emotion of trauma and your personal grief.  To survive and then thrive, unburdened and free.
31. Sometimes you can feel the most alive when being the most still.
32. To be in, and grateful of, the moment.  By digitally switching off. (Irony noted, as you read this on your mobile;)
33. Social media isn’t all bad.  As long as you control it more than it controls you. 
34. To surrender and let go. Of fear, self-doubt, the future, and people that take more energy than offer.
35. Real love enters your life when you embrace who you are.  Your vulnerability.  Your strength.  Your gift to yourself and the world.  When you love yourself!

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

This clip was from my conversation with Tom Bagnall, a survivor of Stage 3 melanoma cancer.

Friends of Tom were invested in his recovery.   By accepting help, it gave a chance for friends to rally together to support him.  They did so because they care, and to get joy from witnessing and celebrate the results of their help in his recovery.  

It's a great example of having been on the receiving end of help, and experiencing its benefits, it helps you more instinctively offer help to others. 

Here's the full episode with Tom https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/11708446

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

This clip was from my conversation with Tom Bagnall, a survivor of Stage 3 melanoma cancer.

We talk about tips for offering help: Make them specific, tangible and constructive.  
And how recognising your own historical blockers, helps you see these in others to then be more empathetic and effective at offering help.  
And this in turn supports you to be more accepting of more help in your own life. 

Here's the full episode with Tom https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/11708446

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

In this clip from conversation about my health journey, we talk about the abundance of help around us, and that ironically to not accept help is selfish. But accepting it is practising self-care, and a chance to trigger a wonderful positive ripple effect of help on those around you.

Here's the full episode of my conversation with Marco https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/11599749

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

This short episode covers 3 simple tips:

1. If you have trouble accepting that offer, consider it the other way round -  would you happily offer help if you were asked in the same sitation?
2. Avoid assuming there is an effort, burden and time the offerer will go through to offer that gesture of help
3. Start small - accept everyday gestures even like the offer of a coffee!

This clip is from my conversation with a good friend Marco about my health journey, and my experience of embracing the life-changing concept of ‘the gift of help for yourself and each other’.  

Here's the full episode of my conversation with Marco https://www.thegiftofhelp.org/2075728/11599749

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

This episode is with Ursula Tomlinson, a wonderfully generous retired paediatric oncologist nurse I met recently on a personal development program. 

Born into a large family, and as the eldest she learned to be highly independent, self reliant and from a young age instinctively wanting to spend a lifetime helping others.   Drawing on this experience she has a fascinating insight on not only offering help as a nurse but also asking for help for herself.  And is honest about her own blockers towards accepting help from others.

There so many gems to highlight, some include:
- Being a kid in a classroom of 70 in the 1960’s, asking for help would be seen as slowing the lesson down.
- Asking for help is often mistakenly seen as stupid or overly bothering people
- The distinctive influences of northern vs southern European cultures and male vs females approach to asking for help.
- Her teacher giving tasks that they couldn’t finish, forced them to ask others for help.  And this made them realise that you can’t know everything and you can't do everything by yourself.  
- Culturally, it's easier for women to depend on each other, and how this more naturally encourages a sense of teamwork in  female sports.
- As a nurse, you can’t get through a shift alone - and that you know you’d always get the help when you asked for it.   Help other others/patients  help each other …. but not necessarily yourself!
- The importance of the help me help you culture in paediatric care - what do I need to know to help you // Parents saying thank you for asking.
- The power and importance of a specific and empathetic offer of help to make it so much easier to accept.  And the significance of doing so without expecting any thanks. 
- How saying ’ My pleasure’ instead of no problem to those who express thanks for someone’s  help - highlights beautifully the wonderful buzz the offerer feels.  And this may encourage the receiver to more readily accept help in the future.
- Selfish altruism - help yourself by helping others
- Offering and accepting help bonds a community.
- Put the specific request for help out there, and it’s likely there will be someone who’d be happy to offer - like a match making service
- The mental block to asking for help can come from thinking no one will offer and the anticipated feeling of disappointment and/or rejection.  So to avoid it, we don’t ask.
- The power of phrasing an offer of help by saying ‘nothing would make me happier than letting me do this for you.”
- In these current times, we’ll need each others help a lot more moving forward, and how this will make us better listen to, and help, not only each other but also ourselves. 

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/

This episode is with Ton van Klaveren, a good Dutch friend, successful head of corporate sales, aspirational business owner and damn strong cyclist.
Highly driven and active, and a self-described impatient, somewhat private and fiercely independent person.
After a car crash, Ton suffered whiplash and was diagnosed with concussion.  But only 8 days later did he start to feel the severe repercussions.  Leaving him incapable of working, socialising and controlling his moods.

Some of the fascinating topics we cover are:

- His struggles to understand the effects of the injuries on his body, the debilitating symptoms and having no clarity as to how long it would take to recover.   
- How he was forced to learn to be patient, vulnerable, and comfortable in his own company. 
- It took him to be at his lowest and a feeling of being ‘broken’ to accept help from his wife.  And that thus then became the turning point to start to get his life back. 
- The dilemma of the need to rest yet keep doing things to get you a mental and mood boost.
- Sharing his story and anxieties helped the recovery process.
- The realisation that he couldn’t go through this by himself.  And how asking a neighbour to go for a walk was a chance to be simply taken out of your own head an thoughts.  
- Fight versus flight response to his situation
- The challenge presented by his difficult upbringing, going into survival mode and how it’s made it difficult to lean on others for help.
- The default characteristic of entrepreneurs and corporate culture to do everything themselves and not ask for help.
- Receiving compliments is as often harder than giving them. Yet this can be a start point for receiving help. 
- Share your vulnerability with those close to you, so they can offer help and be part of your journey.  So ultimately it can strengthen connections and relationships.

You can contact me on:
Email: [email protected]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/