In this Episode, Haylie and I talk about the Parent, Child and Adult's in our head. If you have ever read the Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters this is along similar lines.

Transactional analysis (TA) is a psychoanalytic theory and method of therapy wherein social transactions are analyzed to determine the ego state of the communicator (whether parent-like, childlike, or adult-like) as a basis for understanding behavior.In transnational analysis, the communicator is taught to alter the ego state as a way to solve emotional problems. The method deviates from Freudian psychoanalysis which focuses on increasing awareness of the contents of unconsciously held ideas. Eric Berne developed the concept and paradigm of transnational analysis in the late 1950s

Join us for a short bite size episode where we discuss Self Sabotage openly from where it comes from to how to manage it. 

Self Sabotaging Behavior & Thoughts: What Causes It and How to Rise Above It. Self-sabotage is when we actively or passively take steps to prevent ourselves from reaching our goals. This behaviour can affect nearly every aspect of life be it a relationship, a career goal, or a personal goal such as weight loss. Although very common, it is an incredibly frustrating cycle of behaviour that lowers our self-confidence and leaves us feeling stuck. 

There are many reasons why someone may choose to self-sabotage but many stem from a lack of belief in ourselves. Why do we self sabotage? We lack self-worth – when we do not believe in ourselves we cannot achieve our goals. Included in self-confidence is our self-worth. If we constantly tell ourselves that we are not smart enough, qualified enough, or good enough to have what we want, we will act accordingly to what we are telling ourselves. 

They way we speak to ourselves matters and directly affects how we present ourselves to the world. When we don’t have confidence, we will do things to stop ourselves from achieving our fullest potential. We fear success – When we have worked so hard for something our success can sometimes become a stressor. This often happens when we have a lack of self confidence. We may worry that we truly aren’t qualified or prepared and that we will be exposed as a fraud. Our fear of success leads us to engage in behaviour that limits our success. When we are getting close to achieving he goal. We want to place fault elsewhere – When we believe that we aren’t going to do well or will fail not matter what, we begin behaving in a way that ensures we will fail. When we think things like “I won’t get the contract anyways” we displace our responsibility in achieving our goals. When we do fail, because we already told ourselves we would, the blame can be transferred to someone else. We can justify procrastination or not preparing as we’ve already accepted that we won’t succeed. 

We want control – We feel better when we feel like we are in control. By accepting a negative outcome ahead of time, we feel like we are in control even though it is not what we want to happen. We in effect control our failure when we apply this self-sabotaging thought pattern. We fear failure – we fear that we will give all we have to a goal and still not be enough. It is easier to give yourself reasons as to why you failed than to truly give it your all and still not succeed. This is the most overwhelming reason why we self sabotage. Reach out to us on Instagram @theglasselevator or email directly [email protected]