The Good Intentions Podcast

My guest this week is Denis Liam Murphy - author of the incredible new book: The Blame Game. I spent a weekend reading it and as I did, a thousand light bulbs went off in my head - it will honestly take everything you thought you knew and blow it to pieces.

How would you react to someone if they said the reason you feel unhappy, anxious, or lost is because you blame too much? You might, as i did initially - think - no way can this be me…

But the fact is, blame is interwoven into the very fabric of our language, society, and philosophical outlooks—it’s present in just about every conversation we have. In fact, blame has become more than just a game—it is an addiction...and that’s what Denis’s new book uncovers.

Denis is a high-performance coach, visionary thinker, and founding partner of RoundTable Global, an internationally recognised learning and development company that helps create high-performance leaders and corporate cultural change. 

 Over a decade ago, he had a life-changing realization—we have not only inherited an addiction to playing the Blame Game, but when we blame, we automatically become a victim. 

 These realizations led him to come up with a hypothesis: the more self-honest we are, the less we blame and the more effortless and painless life becomes. 

He offers a truly unique and unparalleled personal development and healing experience by specialising in helping people recover from a blame addiction they didn't know they had.

Denis says: for thousands of years, we have had a masterclass in blaming. It is time for a masterclass in self-healing. Amen to that - I loved the conversation we had about blame - during which Denis challenged a lot of long held opinions with truly insightful solutions and answers.

I hope you enjoy our conversation.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find Denis Liam Murphy here:

https://www.instagram.com/denisliammurphy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/denis-liam-murphy

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Denis Liam Murphy - The Blame Game

https://www.amazon.com/Blame-Game-Recover-Worlds-Addiction/dp/1637587546

Paulo Coelho - The Alchemist

https://magrudy.com/book/alchemist-the-25th-anniversary-a-fable-about-following-your-dream-9780062390622/

Daniel Everett - Don't Sleep, There are Snakes

https://magrudy.com/book/dont-sleep-there-are-snakes-life-and-language-in-the-amazonian-jungle-9780307386120/

Ann Hiatt is a bestselling author, executive consultant, speaker, and investor. She’s a Silicon Valley veteran who reported directly to CEOs including Jeff Bezos from Amazon, Eric Schmidt  from Google and Yahoo!’s Marissa Mayer.

Ann consults with CEOs and their leadership teams across the globe on C-suite optimisation and has published articles in publications such as Harvard Business Review, Fast Company and CNBC. She has also contributed to articles in the New York Times, Economic Times, the Financial Times and Forbes. 

She’s in Dubai at the Emirates Literature Festival to talk about her book Bet on Yourself.  Incredibly, she’s taken the leadership principles that guide the work of celebrity CEOs and explains how to use them to take a bet on yourself and use them as stepping stones towards a dream career.

Ann is so warm and full of amazing advice. I loved what she had to say about making sure your job gives as much to you as you do to it - and also her take on the tech bro culture and how to navigate an often patriarchal business system.

And of course I had to ask her what it was really like to work for Jeff Bezos in such a once in a lifetime role.

Whether you’re just starting on the career ladder, feeling stuck in your current job, or wanting to finally be recognised for promotion or a leadership role, this episode will help you identify how to create something extraordinary from ordinary opportunities. That Even when options appear limited, you can take charge of your career, and build a future that exceeds your wildest expectations. Please enjoy the conversation.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find Ann Hiatt here:

https://www.instagram.com/annhiatt

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ann-hiatt

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Ann Hiatt - Bet on Yourself

https://www.amazon.ae/Bet-Yourself-Recognize-Breakthrough-Opportunities/dp/1400220262

James Clear - Atomic Habits

https://www.amazon.ae/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Build-Break/dp/0735211299

Carol Dweck - Mindset Growth

https://www.amazon.ae/Mindset-Psychology-Carol-S-Dweck/dp/0345472322

Does old age fill you with dread? What about dying - how do you feel about that?  Why do some of us live longer than others?  What does the latest science teach us that will help us not only live longer lives but also to live fitter, healthier, and happier lives even in our ‘twilight’ years?

Well, this week my guest has all the answers where ageing is concerned - she’s Professor Rose Anne Kenny, who has 35 years of experience at the forefront of ageing medicine. 

She is a professor of Medical Gerontology at Trinity College Dublin, director of the Mercer’s Institute for Successful Ageing and founding principal investigator for the Irish Longitudinal Study on Ageing. Her book Age Proof - The New Science of Living a Longer and Healthier Life - draws on her own pioneering research and she’s in Dubai at the Emirates Literature Festival leading discussions on a life well lived.

As you would expect, Professor Rose is an absolute goldmine of information when it comes to ageing and we had such an enlightening conversation about everything from misconceptions about ageing to loneliness and we also discussed how purpose plays a huge part in how we age.

80% of our ageing is under our control and a positive attitude is scientifically proven to help us age well. I loved how much science and data Professor Rose brought to the table, along with a healthy dose of practicality and useful tips.

Please enjoy our conversation.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find Professor Rose here:

https://tilda.tcd.ie/people/profile/rkenny/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/rose-anne-kenny-b5615a10/

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Professor Rose Anne Kenny - Age Proof

https://www.amazon.com/Age-Proof-Science-Living-Healthier/dp/178870505X

Matthew Walker - Why We Sleep

https://www.amazon.ae/Why-We-Sleep-Unlocking-Dreams/dp/1501144324

Malcolm Gladwell - Outliers

https://www.amazon.ae/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0141043024/

Lisa Ray is an internationally acclaimed performer, philanthropist, author and public speaker. 

She’s also one of India’s most successful models and an award-winning actress who starred in Canada’s Oscar nominated film Water. 

After Ray was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in 2009, her forthright, courageous and humorous approach to navigating her experiences with this incurable blood cancer, which she chronicled in her blog, ‘The Yellow Diaries’, earned her international respect. 

She is the author of the memoir Close to the Bone and will be attending the Emirates Literature Festival in Dubai in February 2023 - I can’t wait to attend her sessions.

I talked to Lisa about her career in the entertainment business and what it’s like to navigate that challenging space as a woman, and of course we talked about her cancer diagnosis and how the illness shaped her and her life.

Lisa spoke so beautifully about spirituality and purpose and and was full of wisdom about life, connection and community. I also loved out chats about raising children and how to stay centred and connected in the madness of family life.

Lisa is warm and wise and I loved her sense of humour and her pragmatism. I’m sure you’ll love this conversation as much as I did.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find Lisa here:

https://www.instagram.com/lisaraniray/

https://www.instagram.com/theupsidespace/

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Gabor Mate - In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

https://magrudy.com/book/in-the-realm-of-hungry-ghosts-9781785042201/

Casey Schwartz - Attention

https://www.amazon.com/Attention-Love-Story-Casey-Schwartz/dp/1524747106

Chögyam Trungpa - Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism

https://www.amazon.com/Cutting-Through-Spiritual-Materialism-Chogyam/dp/1570629579

James Lafferty is the CEO of Fine Hygienic Holding and has been described as one of the most unique and diversified CEO’s in the world today. 

He’s not just a successful CEO, he’s also an Olympic coach. An award-winning journalist. A college professor. A competitive athlete.  A philanthropist, husband and father of 6. 

James started his career with humble roots, as a youth track and field coach. 

Hired by Procter and Gamble in his native Cincinnati, Ohio, James was recruited from the ranks of fitness instructor to enter P&G’s “Brand Management” program and after delivering incredible results on the US business, James was transferred into an international career that took him to North Africa, Central and Eastern Europe, The Middle East, Western Europe, Africa and Asia. 

Jams is clearly a business powerhouse, and I was so keen to speak to him to understand what drives him to achieve so much and how he uses his experience for good. 

He spoke with great honesty and candour about his challenging upbringing, what he considers to be his own personal failures, and how these have driven him to become the person and leader that he is today.

We talked about consumer culture, working practices post-Covid and how a modern CEO needs to bring empathy and energy to everything that they do.

He only hires on desire and his purpose in life is to leave the world a little better than he found it. 

James is warm, optimistic and his honesty made our conversation a real pleasure. 

I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find James here:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/james-michael-lafferty-2737071/

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Erik Weihenmayer - Touch the Top of the World

https://magrudy.com/book/touch-the-top-of-the-world-a-blind-mans-journey-to-climb-farther-than-the-eye-can-see-9780452282940/

Vince Lombradi - The Lombardi Rules

https://magrudy.com/book/the-lombardi-rules-25-lessons-from-vince-lombardi-the-worlds-greatest-coach-9780071444897/

Nelson Mandela - Long Walk to Freedom

https://magrudy.com/book/a-long-walk-to-freedom-the-autobiography-of-nelson-mandela-9780349106533/

Cassie Mather-Reid is a holistic life coach who left her 18-year career in corporate IT behind to follow her calling. 

One of her main areas of focus is blocked energy and how we store trauma and distress at a cellular level, leading to emotional and physical problems. 

She works with clients on both their belief systems and energy systems to overcome limiting beliefs and release energy blocks - sounds fascinating, doesn’t it?

We talked about how Cassie recognised that she was feeling lost and unfulfilled in life and chose to take a different path, healing her own trauma, discovering her goals and learning to live in alignment.

We also talked abut leadership and the challenges of the corporate world, discussed the mind body connection and how it works and how our body has everything that it need within it to heal itself. We just need to listen to it.

Cassie is warm and approachable and as you might expect, she has great energy - it was a delight to talk to her. 

I hope you enjoy this episode.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find Cassie here:

https://www.instagram.com/cassie_mather_reid/

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Gay Hendrix - The Big Leap

https://magrudy.com/book/the-big-leap-conquer-your-hidden-fear-and-take-life-to-the-next-level-9780061735363/

Hal Elrod - The Miracle Morning

https://magrudy.com/book/the-miracle-morning-the-6-habits-that-will-transform-your-life-before-8am-change-your-life-with-one-of-the-worlds-highest-rated-self-help-books-9781473668942/

Vex King - Healing is the New High

https://uae.kinokuniya.com/bw/9781788174770

I really do have an incredible conversation for you today. 

David Goulding is a Sober and Recovery Coach who has been on a 15-year journey of addiction discovery, which saw several attempts to get clean and sober in addition to several rehab stints and attempts to take his own life.

A recovered alcoholic and gambling addict, David finally surrendered and transformed his life.

It’s now his main goal in life to help those who are in similar situations, which led him to launch a programme unique to the Middle east called Sober Lifestyle Coaching.

David anonymously and confidentially supports and mentors clients who have made the brave decision to change their lives and embark on the journey of recovery. 

Of course we talked about alcohol, it’s pervasive and addictive role in our culture and society, and how insidious it has become in our every day lives.

We also talked about grey area drinking - how the term alcoholic can act as a barrier to change and acceptance and why addiction occurs in the first place - what trauma are we trying to numb or escape from by drinking or taking drugs.

More than that, we talked about hope, about connection, about how talking can save our lives and how we as humans are hard wired to help and connect with one another.

David says the best thing about no longer drinking is that he is free and at peace.

Our conversation was open and honest and beautiful and I left with the most incredible feeling of peace and hope and safety.

If you want to fulfil your full potential - if you want to navigate the stresses of life without running away from them, this conversation has so much to give you - whether you’re questioning your relationship with alcohol or not.

Please enjoy it.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find David here:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/soberdubai

https://www.facebook.com/sobercoachdubai

https://sober.ae/

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Jordan Peterson - The 12 Rules for Life

https://magrudy.com/book/12-rules-for-life-an-antidote-to-chaos-9780141988511/

Rhonda Byrne - The Secret

https://magrudy.com/book/the-secret-9781847370297/

Russell Brand - Recovery - Freedom from our Addictions

https://magrudy.com/book/recovery-freedom-from-our-addictions-9781509850860/

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of stuff you have? Do you have too many things at home that you don’t know what to do with? You are not alone: most of us have a bit of a hoarding streak and live with clutter in our lives.

So my guest this episode is perfect for all of us. 

Shelina Jokhiya discovered she had a natural gift for organising when she was a child, spending hours organising cassette tapes, CDs, DVDs and her huge collection of Madonna memorabilia into simple systems. While school teachers admired her organised files, it wasn’t considered a career choice, and she was encouraged to study law. 

After reading law at university, Shelina became a solicitor working in London and Dubai, but despite her success, she knew her heart was elsewhere. 

She never gave up on her dream of becoming a professional organiser and decided to take the leap, launching DeCluttr Me in 2013, where it became the region’s first licenced, professional organising service.

Shelina’s mission is to help people lead more relaxed, motivated, and productive lives – free of clutter - and we talked a lot about how the things that we own can overwhelm us, and this goes way deeper than you might think - affecting us on a very deep, cellular level.

We explored the  huge emotional side of decluttering and I loved what she had to say about conscious consumerism - thinking hard about what we buy and why we are buying it and how clutter can act as a cloud over our heads and hearts.

Shelina has also written a book “Can You Find it in Five Seconds?” which you’d better believe I am buying a copy of - everything she said spoke straight to my soul.

If you’re yearning to lead a more simple life with less then this episode really is for you  - Shelina is warm, wise and she’s also absolutely hilarious - I loved our conversation and I know you will too. Please enjoy it.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find David here:

https://www.instagram.com/decluttrme/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelinajokhiya

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Shelina Jokhiya - Can you Find It in Five Seconds

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09LTFV2DR?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420

David Allen - Getting Things Done

https://magrudy.com/book/getting-things-done-the-art-of-stress-free-productivity-9780143126560/

Tony Buzan - Mind Maps

https://magrudy.com/book/mind-mapping-kickstart-your-creativity-and-transform-your-life-9780563520344/

Vikram Seth - A Suitable Boy

https://magrudy.com/book/a-suitable-boy-9781780227894/

On this episode, I had a super conversation with Aliya Raja.

Aliya is a personal and professional development coach, a corporate trainer, a podcast host an entrepreneur and founder of Coaching with Aliya.

She helps people develop the range of skills they need to maximize their potential, which obviously I couldn't wait to hear more about.

We talked about changing our lifestyle and our habits, how organizations need to change and evolve post COVID at the confidence gap between men and women. Fascinating stuff.

Aliya says: "Have big goals, have wonderful relationships, have huge amounts of success in your life. But unless you're also dedicating yourself to knowing who you are, knowing what you want and nurturing the relationship you have with yourself, you will end up feeling empty and disconnected, no matter how many boxes you tick that look impressive to other people."

She gave lots of practical tips about how to stay connected to what's important to you, how to succeed at work and at home, and she gave me lots of food for thought about how we classify success in our lives. I hope you enjoy the conversation.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find Aliya here:

https://www.instagram.com/coach_aliya/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/aliya-rajah-0b72ba8a/

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Adam Poswolsky - The Quarter Life breakthrough

https://magrudy.com/book/the-quarter-life-breakthrough-invent-your-own-path-find-meaningful-work-and-build-a-life-that-matters-9780143109525/

Susan Jeffers - Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

https://magrudy.com/book/feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway-the-phenomenal-classic-that-has-changed-the-lives-of-millions-9780091907075/

Carrie Green - She means Business

https://magrudy.com/book/she-means-business-turn-your-ideas-into-reality-and-become-a-wildly-successful-entrepreneur-9781401953164/

https://www.instagram.com/iamcarriegreen

My guest this episode is Sasha Bates: psychotherapist, journalist and former BBC and Channel Four producer. Sasha’s husband, the actor and playwright Bill Cashmore, died unexpectedly at the age of 56. 

When Bill died, Sasha turned to writing and the resulting book, called Languages of Loss, is a moving, powerful and informative narrative account of how grief works, how it feels and how it can be managed; a searingly honest account of losing a loved one, and a practical guide to help anyone who is grieving. 

In this beautiful conversation, Sasha talked to me about the death of her husband Bill and how her best selling book The Languages of Loss, is a conversation between her therapist self and her grieving self in an attempt to express and make sense of the inexpressible and incomprehensible. 

We talked about the five stages of grief and how they are not necessarily helpful, why we are so bad at talking about death as a society and how we can best support someone who has lost a loved one. We also talked about guilt- how feeling happy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten a loved one, yet it is an inevitable part of the grief process.

Sasha is warm and wise and open about her experiences and has so much practical advice about how to attempt to navigate grief, and why it will never be the same experience for two people. 

Our conversation is a powerful insight into what it is to lose someone you love, and is also filled with hope and healing. Sasha says: “Fear is at the root of our inability to talk about death, we are absolutely terrified of speaking about it.” 

I really hope that my having more conversations like this, we can bring grief out of the darkness and into the light, where it can heal.

I hope you enjoy this episode.

Follow me, and the Good Intentions podcast:

https://www.instagram.com/kellyharvarde/

https://www.instagram.com/goodintentionsuae/

Find Sasha here:

https://www.instagram.com/sashbates/

https://sashabates.co.uk

Immerse yourself in some of the books we discussed: 

Sasha Bates - Languages of Loss

https://magrudy.com/book/languages-of-loss-a-psychotherapists-journey-through-grief-9781529312690/

Sasha Bates -  A Grief Companion

https://www.amazon.com/Grief-Companion-Practical-darkness-Languages-ebook/dp/B0967R92G4

Nelson Mandela - The Long Walk to Freedom

https://magrudy.com/book/a-long-walk-to-freedom-the-autobiography-of-nelson-mandela-9780349106533/

Ndaba Mandela - Going to the Mountain - 11 Life Lessons from Nelson Mandela

https://www.amazon.ae/Going-Mountain-Lessons-Grandfather-Mandela/dp/1786090570/

The Dalai Lama - Cultivating Happiness

https://magrudy.com/book/cultiving-happiness-9781607967170/