In this episode, the Steam Count has been commissioned to create a statue of the Sahara Desert holding a rice pudding, and Neddie Seagoon has been chosen to pose as the desert. Overcoming his scruples about posing in the nude, Neddie agrees due to the fat fee of Bank of England Cigarette Cards in the series of Criminal Footballers. However, the promoters of the scheme, Major Bloodnok and Grytpype-Thynne, have a wicked plan in mind.