The Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport

Fresh off a long helicopter ride, direct from the Gathering of the Juggalos, which we stole in our prison break for stabbing people. That’s the story of our delay, and we’re sticking to it. But What is a Juggalo? We don’t know, but we’re pretty down with these particular clowns when it comes to the world of wrestling. Like, if you’re looking for a hatchet job with this episode, you’d probably best look elsewhere, because as it turns out, the duo of Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope are actually a strong spot of the grim, terminally ill years of WCW’s later life. True workmen, these Homies are, individuals that displayed a higher level of understanding of the art of wrestling and its collaborative nature, and all without any requirement of being paid like Big Money Hustlas. Oh stop it, you knew I was going to do this, why wouldn’t I? Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, every real estate agent looks sort of like Norman Smiley.

You asked for it, brothers, sisters and those beyond and in-between, and you got it! It’s our first Q&A episode, where you come to us with pressing questions about WCW history and we mostly just goof on the responses. I mean, okay, we do so serious answering here, but we also note that modern-day Alex Wright has the unfortunate look of a typical MRA (#NotAllMeng) (#MengGoingHisOwnWay) and the multiple ways the statement “[Mike Awesome] could’ve worked someplace else” can be taken. So come with us, listeners, to a land of enlightenment, and also weed jokes. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, it’s time to grow up and put the toys away, because it’s all just men in tights, hugging.

Load the spaceship with the rocket fuel, load it with the warriors and put this podcast on the sound system, then prepare to break loose from all the vast sources of shouted incoherence across these weak planets. Yes, we’re talking about a man of many names on this episode, most known as Warrior, sometimes an Ultimate one, but with or without the facepaint, he is the Ultimate Warrior. He was complex man, some might say, what with his stream of consciousness promos, his seemingly practiced inability to perform basic wrestling holds, and his disdain for queer people and, well, pretty much anyone that wasn’t him. But did you know he was in WCW for a short spell? Because we do. We were there, watching, and we won’t forget what he did when he came to where the Big Boys Play and felt the injection from the gods above. Confused yet? I don’t blame you. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sports, we bring up the unfortunate sounds made during a test of strength spot that resembled oral sex more than most do.

A lot of talent switched sides back in the day between the big two on the block. Some jumped ship to Play (look at the adjective) with the Big Boys, while others found a better life among wrestling mounties and hockey enforcers. Among this exchange of talent is a group of really, really good wrestlers that held the highest title in WCW, that nevertheless never reached the same heights in New York. What’s the deal here? Well, let’s see if we can find out, shall we? Plus, a discussion of the thing with the Hardys going on in TNA right now, because wow, how could we not talk about that. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we discuss Vader’s tips and tricks to cleaning your fine Swiss-made clocks.

Like a lot of the big time pro wrestling promotions out there, WCW had quite a selection of video games out there to waste your time with. Some of them, like WCW vs nWo: World Tour, are much beloved titles. Others, like the much maligned WCW Backstage Assault, are baffling and best left as footnotes in the annals of wrestling game history. And what do you know, we got a little of both in our first bite into this particular part of WCW History. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we mash buttons to determine which one of Michael Hayes’ thighs is the more racist one.

Harlem Heat. The Steiners. Sting and Luger. The Outsiders. The Hollywood Blondes. Doom. WCW was not a promotion unfamiliar with memorable tag teams, either for their historical significance, their talent, or both. But for every success, there is a misstep. And sometimes, when you misstep, you wind up tripping over a guardrail, tumbling ass over teakettle over cliff, falling into a ravine, landing in a pointy skeleton tree and hitting every branch on the way to the ground. Then, when you wake up, you look down at your phone and see that you have a text from a coworker asking if anyone in management knew about the Nazi tattoos the new talent hires are sporting. That’s what we’re talking about today, possibly because we had too much genuine enjoyment from doing the last episode, and we must maintain a balance. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we discuss the uncomfortable subtext at the heart of the team of Curt Hennig and The Cowboy Guy.

A day late, due to both the worst internet service Doc has ever seen and also due to the sheer size of this endeavour, we are delving into one of the lost artifacts of WCW, Collision in Korea. A goodwill mission of wrestling in the heart of North Korea, this highly watchable show is strange for a number of reasons, the least of which is a very polite and huge crowd that keeps up a medium-loud roar throughout, with a modicum of whooping and whistling. Come with us, as we explore the nationalist tensions between commentators Eric Bischoff and Sonny Onoo, with Mike Tenay stuck in the middle. Thrill, as joshi legends clash at speeds sufficient to induce time travel! Be amazed, as Hiroshi Hase gets Steinerized like few in history have ever been before! Cringe, as Bischoff says the words “back leg round kick” one hundred times on commentary! Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we talk diplomacy, as it can only be undertaken by Antonio Inoki and Ric Flair.

Welcome back to the realm of chainlink and questionable creative decisions! We have for you today selection that runs the full depth of the WCW experience, which is to say three matches that run the spread from “legendary greatness”, to “so bad it’s good”, to “go fuck yourself, Hogan.” Yes, it turns out that Hogan doesn’t need another two cages balanced over his head to self-aggrandize. But let’s not let an orange goblin drag us down, because we also have the amazing story of Great Muta, Cage Match Firefighter and the Astonishing Electric Abdullah. Tonight, on what will surely go down as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we learn that whenever Dusty Rhodes woke up in a cold sweat, something memorable in wrestling would soon follow, for better or worse.

Welcome to the world of colourful ring gear, makeup that doesn’t smear and stiffness that’s stronger than death- it’s Joshi, the wrestling subgenre of women hitting each other really, really hard. It turns out, WCW had a lot of this going on, which is surprising to everyone here but Doublecakes, apparently. But what do I mean, “everyone?” Well, we happened to be joined by Elle and Megan of the mighty Hard Times Podcast! So join us as we delve into topics such as the many presentations of femininity in Joshi, how hard Bull Nakano hits people, how hard Bull Nakano owns and just how many times Madusa and Akira Hokuto actually faced off in WCW (we don’t actually know, but it’s a lot). Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we reflect on the horrid abomination that is Hog Wild 1996 through the lens of furious women smashing motorcycles.

Chris Jericho spent a lot of time in WCW testing the boundaries that he could get away with. As it turns out, he could get away with a lot, like blatantly lifting a sequence from This is Spinal Tap for a backstage segment, and getting both himself and a WCW camera crew ejected from the Library of Congress. And, on top of that, it turns out he could also gently press gang a less-than-imposing member of WCW’s road crew into donning ill-fitting clothing and marching him out alongside him as his bodyguard. Fun gimmick? Definitely, as watching Jericho order around his own personal midriff-baring Elmer Fudd is...well, unique. But what’s baffling about it is that with Jericho moving on up to New York, Ralphus didn’t fade away without him. In fact, he flourished on, as a small, concentrated spark of bottled lightning, a balding, toothless, rotund man that couldn’t work a lick and yet, somehow, kept getting a reaction. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we examine the merits of beating up and pinning children for heat in pro wrestling storylines.