The Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport

Back again after some moving and shaking in realms other than old-style man-grappling, we return to talk about WCW’s questionable choices in co-promotion. Particularly, their tendency to try and blur the lines between wrestling reality and movie make believe. It’s still real to us, dammit. Because as you can probably tell, there’s a difference between putting a film’s branding all over your wrestling event, and having its cybernetic protagonist come out and rip the door off a cage containing your talent. Tonight, in what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we talk at length about the Future of Questionable Booking Enforcement.

Life comes at you quick, and it has a million ways to get you down. One such way is for an outspoken homophobe to debut to ovation on the biggest stage in professional wrestling- that’s a definite bummer. So in order to get the big happy party that is colourful spandex slap-grapplin’ back on track, we spend this freeform episode talking about the things we love about WCW, the little things to the big things. This means a lot of talk about Ric Flair being mad, red and nude in the best ways possible, of Mean Gene Okerlund being the best interviewer in wrestling history, of DDP being an inspiration at a high concept level and of the little spats that can blow up and reach detente in a matter of seconds in a wrestling ring. Oh, and we also discover the answer to the question “how could The Shockmaster Incident have gone worse?” Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we smile widely while declaring “yo, fuck Mil Mascaras.”

Beware, listeners, for Dark Wonders inhabit this episode and the fates of our podcasters are thus ETCHED IN STONE. Join us as we wander the halls of some weird faux-Aztec edifice apparently lost in the wilds of Georgia to expose the mysteries of WCW’s most Evil stable. Notice that it’s capital-E Evil, denoting whimsy, as opposed to the Col. Parker-led Harlem Heat, which was just plain ol’ real world evil. That’s how we’re differentiating these things, folks. Join us, as we discuss the marvels of the Zodiac, the horror of Kamala’s offensive gimmick, and how this stable did both Vader and John Tenta no favors. Also, Lex Luger was there too for some reason, I dunno, maybe someone thought bodybuilders were terrifying? Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we disrupt conventions of the industry and build a more efficient cannibal.

Comes now part the second of our exploration of Mr. Vincent Russo, delayed by Holiday Cheer and Holiday Burnout. Thought you could get away, huh? Too late, we’ve already trapped you in three cages stacked on top of each other! Within this edifice of steel and poor choices, we’ll discuss Russo’s tendencies towards race in his booking (they are all unfortunate), his stance on swerves (they are good, do not question the swerve, Hail Swerve) and his near grasping of success in WCW booking (Hogan, you tangerine fiend.) Don your football pads, we’re wading back into the fray. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we pledge eternal sobriety and fidelity to W.A.R.I.O.

Vince Russo. Where do you even begin? How can it be that the man that helped to raise the WWF out of its 84 week slump also be the man that laid the boots to WCW in its dying days? The short answer is “because pure, unfiltered Russo is something no promotion’s lungs can handle.” The long answer is this, the first of a giant-sized two parter, where we break down the Ten Commandments of Mr. Vincent Russo’s booking style and all of its foibles. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as the Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we discuss the finer points of incapacitating a human being with a tequila bottle.

Traditional psychology in a one-on-one professional wrestling match is a simple foundation to be built upon, one that is a simple conflict of person against person. You can build a lot on top of a foundation that solid and flat, storylines driven through physical action of competition, rivalry, hatred, inner conflict, child custody, custody of the letter T, custody of a mother on a forklift, whatever you want. It also leaves room for the introduction of physical props and obstacles, like cages, ladders, even hellfire. With all those choices, you’d think it’d be easy to craft something unique and wonderful. And you’d be wrong, because of those choices is the option of putting a thing dangling off a pole and then putting the pole in a corner; that’s never a good idea. Confused? So are we, but probably not for the same reason, because we’re frankly wondering why so many of these damn matches exist. Tonight, on what will surely go down in history as The Greatest Podcast in the History of Our Sport, we plead for the strength of the mighty crowbar and get Diamond Cuttered for our trouble.