The Grid Is For Squares

Greetings, friends. Hope you’re staying safe and remaining indoors. Vince and I recorded this episode only one week ago, which now feels like approximately 5 years.

We do discuss the virus for a few minutes—after all, this kind of public crisis is the exact reason that some people build an off-the-grid homestead. But is that why we did it? Is this our bug-out spot? Or is it a community space? And if shit really hits the fan, does that change? There are no easy answers; it’s an ongoing conversation.

But then we move onto a brighter topic: building a greenhouse! Earlier this month, we built… oh, let’s say 75% of a greenhouse. There were trials and tribulations at every ding-dang step along the way, but we persevered!

WHAT WE BUILT:

• The Grandio Ascent Greenhouse (8'2" W x 16' L x 7'9" H)

  • Choose a building site that maximizes winter sun and minimizes summer sun

  • Level your pad, remove all organic material (usually digging a few inches down will do), and don’t forget to add drainage trenches on either side

  • Dig holes for your bolts and pour concrete footers

  • Lay down overlapping lengths of hardware cloth (vinyl-coated, 16-gauge, half-inch) to protect your greenhouse from rodents

  • Then just, you know, construct a 2000-piece kit like you’ve shopped at the devil’s own IKEA

WHAT WE LEARNED:

• Debit cards have daily purchase limits (yeah, yeah, I should’ve known that, but I don’t buy $3000 things every day!)

• Don’t use slate rocks to prop up a pie tin inside of a cast-iron. The moisture between the layers of slate will explode once heated over the fire and will get dirt in your pie.

• Triple-check your boxes of parts when you pick them up to make sure you have every box. If they’re labelled “1 of 5,” “2 of 5,” etc, don’t just count 5 boxes. Check that you have every box.

• If your greenhouse kit says it can be assembled by 2 people in 1 day, assume that is a complete lie. Even for experienced construction folks. That said, it’s a decent greenhouse with a good design, so we do recommend it.

Don’t forget to check out photos of our progress on Instagram!

This week, we discuss breaking ground on our first structure: a dugout. Like pioneer families of old, we are digging into a hill to create an insulated space. But digging isn’t as easy as it sounds… we are laden with boulders. Rich with rocks. And we’re talking, like, 500-pound chunks of granite here.

We also get real about our mental health and how it’s affected our property journey. Spoiler alert: we’re screwed up, and probably so are you, but we muddled ahead with our dreams anyway. Excelsior!

WHAT WE BUILT:

• Well, a hole is sort of something you anti-build. But we have begun digging a very large hole for an eventual dugout dwelling.

WHAT WE LEARNED:

• The time is never “just right” to embark on a huge project. Be kind to yourself and don’t rush things, but don’t be afraid to take a big leap.

• I know we said this last week too, but always always think like water.

• Use gravity and leverage to your advantage when moving large objects (like, say, huge rocks). And consider using ratchet straps!

As always, don’t forget to check out photos of our progress on Instagram!

We finally spent a night on our new property—3 of them, in fact—but Mother Nature wasn’t about to make it easy on us. It was raining when we arrived, and during the first night, it snowed!

But we didn’t let that deter us. We loaded our tent up with blankets and made mulled wine over our campfire and got to work.

Hear about our PVC sukkah and compost toilet, our debate over the value of suffering, some minor catastrophic structural failure, and the first few improvements we’ve made on our vacant 10-acre property.

Oh, and also, we discovered that the dirt is full of gold. GOOOOOLD!

WHAT WE BUILT:

• A “sukkah” made out of 3/4” PVC and a 20’x10’ tarp decorated with black duct tape

• A compost toilet, the frame made out of 3/4” PVC and the bench made out of 3/4” MDF with a 5-gallon bucket (more on our outhouse in a future episode!)

WHAT WE LEARNED:

• Always start by thinking about water. Where will it flow? Where will it pool?

• If you build with PVC, pre-label your pieces for easier assembly on site.

• In most states, a No Trespassing sign will legally protect you if someone trespasses onto your property and injures themselves.

As always, you can check out photos on Instagram! Here are a few.

Big news... we did it! After 3 years of searching for our dream property, we now own 10 acres of beautiful vacant land outside of Yosemite!

But first, we had to get our hearts broken. We withdrew our offer for the 40-acre property we were so excited about and were forced to reassess our entire plan in light of our finances, permitting, and other stupid "truths" and "realities."

Hear about our successes and failures, our giant boulders and our Very Grownup Documents, and the kinky shit that notaries are into.

The next phase has begun! And don’t forget to check out pics of our new place on Instagram.

Hi again! Welcome back to The Grid Is For Squares. In today’s episode, Vince and Amy discuss the enormous project of searching for vacant land to purchase. California’s big, but finding the perfect acres for us hasn’t been easy.

Hear all about Zillow searches, deal-breakers, future neighbor lawsuits, picnics, and tilting the Earth at our leisure as if we are gods. You can check out some pics of our property visits on Instagram.

And at the end of the episode, we reveal some details about a 40-acre property that we found and love. Spoiler: it has a waterfall. A WATERFALL.

Thanks for tuning in! Stay frosty, bears.