The Happiness Standard

 Can AI be your friend? As AI companions become more common, we’re asking bigger questions about loneliness, happiness, human connection, and what happens when we turn to technology to meet our emotional needs. This episode of The Happiness Standard explores what we gain from AI—and what makes human connection irreplaceable.

Similar Episodes/ Episodes Mentioned: 

Why Did We Stop Being Friends:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/70ZRcUFP3Jgy48D3RlKKfi?si=8VbKu-j0SG2YCmC1s-z7GA 

Did COVID Make You Lonely?:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6jgSqxsP9FymfruJ0t2oeA?si=8hBUTezbRsaZloOsvtJitw  

References

Bernaerts, S., Buelens, F., De Witte, N. A. J., Balaskas, A., Colman, T., & Van Daele, T. (2026). Exploring real-world use of AI chatbots for mental health support: Cross-sectional survey study. JMIR Mental Health, 13, e104316. https://doi.org/10.2196/104316

Hu, M., Ho, J. Q. H., Ng, C., Wong, S. S. M., & Hartanto, A. (2026). Emotional support through AI: Venting to artificial intelligence or a perceived human may offer comparable emotional well-being benefits. Computers in Human Behavior Reports, 23, 101149. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chbr.2026.101149

Liu, C. H., Zhao, C., Lou, F., Zhang, W., Menor, A., Chow, A., & Yip, T. (2026). Loneliness and generative AI use for companionship among college students. Computers in Human Behavior: Artificial Humans, 9, 100348. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.chbah.2026.100348

Nakagomi, A., Akutsu, Y., Yasuoka, M., Abe, N., Ihara, S., Teroh, T., & Tabuchi, T. (2026). AI companions and subjective well-being: Moderation by social connectedness and loneliness. Technology in Society, 85, 103229. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.techsoc.2026.103229

Rainie, L. (2026). The rise of AI companions: A national public opinion survey on the relationships people form with artificial intelligence systems. Imagining the Digital Future Center, Elon University. https://imaginingthedigitalfuture.org/reports-and-publications/the-rise-of-ai-companions/

Ueda, M., Birnbaum, M. L., Liu, Y., Yu, Q., Tian, X., Mirer, A., Ramanathan, S., & Sinyor, M. (2026). Help-seeking in the age of AI: Cross-sectional survey of the use and perceptions of AI-based mental health support among US adults. JMIR Mental Health, 13, e88196. https://doi.org/10.2196/88196

Zhang, Y., Zhao, D., Hancock, J. T., Kraut, R., & Yang, D. (2026). Interaction with AI companions and psychological well-being. Nature Human Behaviour. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-026-02516-2

What do you do, simply because you love it? 🤩

In this episode of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the happiness of having something that’s simply yours—a hobby, interest, creative project, or little obsession that doesn’t need to be productive, profitable, or goal-oriented.

We’ll talk about intrinsic motivation, self-determination theory, autonomy, identity, productivity, and learning to recognize when something is enough.

Because not everything we love needs a purpose. Sometimes, we can do it just because✨

References: 

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68 

 In this episode of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers gets emotional discussing suicide awareness with it being the month of September, hope, and how looking at life through a curious lens can help encourage us to stay long enough to find out what happens next.

This episode is a reminder that there are people you haven't met, memories you haven't made, and moments you don't know are waiting for you yet.

If you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988 in the U.S. for free, confidential crisis support.

Stay long enough to find out what happens next 💛

Wildly Kind: wildlykind.org | @wildly.kind on Instagram

Cool School Pro Wrestling: @coolschoolprowrestling on Instagram

Combat Realm Wrestling: @combatrealmwrestling on Instagram

References

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2026, May 20). Suicide data and statistics. CDC

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2026, May 7). About suicide prevention. CDC

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (n.d.). Confidentiality. 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Conflict is normal. But how you fight can make or break a relationship 🐎💥

Explore Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the communication patterns that can predict divorce—and the antidotes that can help you break the cycle with Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers on this week's episode of The Happiness Standard.

References:

Gottman, J. M. (1998). Psychology and the study of marital processes. Annual Review of Psychology, 49, 169–197.

https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.49.1.169Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (2000). The timing of divorce: Predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(3), 737–745. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2000.00737.x

Why do we stay too long? 👀

In relationships, friendships, careers, goals, and even old versions of ourselves, we can keep investing simply because we've already invested so much. That’s the sunk cost fallacy—and it can make knowing when to stay, change, or let go surprisingly difficult.

In this episode of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the psychology behind why we struggle to walk away, how our emotions and identities keep us stuck, and how to make future decisions without letting the past make them for us.

Your past can have value without having authority over your future. ☀️

Listen now & share this episode with someone who needs to hear it 🎧

Episodes Mentioned: 

The Teacher I Am: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3n1VRNFz1LhmJUvDGq0hpq?si=977anwa_Sh-HJil1DeS-UA&utm_source=sms

References:

Arkes, H. R., & Blumer, C. (1985). The psychology of sunk cost. Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 35(1), 124–140. https://doi.org/10.1016/0749-5978(85)90049-4

Roth, S., Robbert, T., & Straus, L. (2015). On the sunk-cost effect: The role of project completion. Journal of Behavioral Decision Making, 28(4), 398–407. https://doi.org/10.1002/bdm.1851

We all remember that teacher—whether they changed our lives for the better... or for the worse 😂🍎

Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers shares the teachers who shaped her and the research-backed philosophy behind the classroom she strives to create.

Episodes With Similar Content:

Episode 11: Congratulations! You Failed

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2iLl7CCtTI1x51LPkhLduC?si=Jz40qGQTTgO7lDKCegF2Qg&utm_source=sms

References:

Cooper, K. M., Downing, V. R., & Brownell, S. E. (2018). The influence of active learning practices on student anxiety in large-enrollment college science classrooms. International Journal of STEM Education, 5, Article 23. https://doi.org/10.1186/s40594-018-0123-6

Emslander, V., Holzberger, D., Ofstad, S. B., Fischbach, A., & Scherer, R. (2025). Teacher–student relationships and student outcomes: A systematic second-order meta-analytic review. Psychological Bulletin, 151(3), 365–397. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000461

Freeman, S., Eddy, S. L., McDonough, M., Smith, M. K., Okoroafor, N., Jordt, H., & Wenderoth, M. P. (2014). Active learning increases student performance in science, engineering, and mathematics. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 111(23), 8410–8415. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1319030111

Radović, S., Hummel, H. G. K., & Vermeulen, M. (2021). The challenge of designing ‘more’ experiential learning in higher education programs in the field of teacher education: A systematic review study. International Journal of Lifelong Education, 40(5–6), 545–560. https://doi.org/10.1080/02601370.2021.1994664

Roorda, D. L., Koomen, H. M. Y., Spilt, J. L., & Oort, F. J. (2011). The influence of affective teacher–student relationships on students’ school engagement and achievement: A meta-analytic approach. Review of Educational Research, 81(4), 493–529. https://doi.org/10.3102/0034654311421793

Rubie-Davies, C. M., & Hattie, J. A. (2024). The powerful impact of teacher expectations: A narrative review. Journal of the Royal Society of New Zealand, 55(2), 343–371. https://doi.org/10.1080/03036758.2024.2393296

Why does vacation make life feel SO much better? 🌴🧠 

Dive into the psychology of “vacation brain”—from the happiness of anticipation to why we feel more present and why the post-vacation blues hit so hard. Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers covers all of this, plus the story behind her favorite vacation spot!

Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273–284. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.273

Bryant, F. B., & Veroff, J. (2007). Savoring: A new model of positive experience. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

de Bloom, J., Geurts, S. A. E., Taris, T. W., Sonnentag, S., de Weerth, C., & Kompier, M. A. J. (2012). Effects of vacation from work on health and well-being: Lots of fun, quickly gone. Work & Stress, 26(3), 196–216. https://doi.org/10.1080/02678373.2012.697126

Guevarra, D. A., & Howell, R. T. (2015). To have in order to do: Exploring the effects of consuming experiences on well-being. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 25(1), 132–140. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcps.2014.06.006

Kahneman, D., Fredrickson, B. L., Schreiber, C. A., & Redelmeier, D. A. (1993). When more pain is preferred to less: Adding a better end. Psychological Science, 4(6), 401–405. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.1993.tb00589.x

Sonnentag, S., & Fritz, C. (2007). The Recovery Experience Questionnaire: Development and validation of a measure for assessing recuperation and unwinding from work. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 12(3), 204–221. https://doi.org/10.1037/1076-8998.12.3.204

Van Boven, L., & Gilovich, T. (2003). To do or to have? That is the question. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85(6), 1193–1202. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.6.1193

Should you “Depression Maxx” your way through a bad day?

Learn when it’s okay to lean into the feeling, when it becomes avoidance, and how to take the next step when you’re ready with Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers on this week’s episode of The Happiness Standard!

CA Department of Health Resource: https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CCDPHP/DCDIC/SACB/Pages/Crisis-Hotlines--Resources.aspx

Similar Episodes/Episodes Mentioned:

Anxiety Isn't Your Enemy:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3X5CWye9fjmNjurWF2jSw3?si=GxQ2PubFR-mXU05nnbXtzg&utm_source=sms

Confidence Catch:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ymogdIzLRMj4aceFKHulf?si=gSRYFmcUS_u1I59PwMc4pw&utm_source=sms

Did Covid Make You Lonely?

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6jgSqxsP9FymfruJ0t2oeA?si=49amhn1wTfmYwZJJgWyRyA&utm_source=sms

References:

Cuijpers, P., Ciharova, M., Tong, L., Liu, Y., Sprenger, A. A., Miguel, C., Karyotaki, E., & Harrer, M. (2026). Behavioral activation for depression: A comprehensive systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 128, 102783. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2026.102783

Horne, S. J., Topp, T. E., & Quigley, L. (2021). Depression and the willingness to expend cognitive and physical effort for rewards: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 88, 102065. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2021.102065

Why do we feel anxious, and what is our brain actually trying to protect us from?

Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores why anxiety happens, how our past experiences shape our fears, and how to build trust in yourself through life’s challenges.

Episodes Mentioned:

Is Everyone Judging You? https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uWmlizLijyAgfan6MgAfN?si=DODbUNxoQXCw3B1N0mD6ag&utm_source=sms

The Confidence Catch

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4ymogdIzLRMj4aceFKHulf?si=R43OzzD-SMyJ3RjXvB3lig&utm_source=sms

Grief & Growth

https://open.spotify.com/episode/6kevufU8hDj6xA7wIuz8lX?si=ftO49nN-T4y-j8c6RuOQTQ&utm_source=sms

Congratulations! You Failed

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2iLl7CCtTI1x51LPkhLduC?si=6lN7qYtvRnKv0C9vCdMUzQ&utm_source=sms

References:

Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191

Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and the emotional disorders. International Universities Press.

Hayes, S. C., Wilson, K. G., Gifford, E. V., Follette, V. M., & Strosahl, K. (1996). Experiential avoidance and behavioral disorders: A functional dimensional approach to diagnosis and treatment. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 64(6), 1152–1168. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.64.6.1152

Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and commitment therapy: An experiential approach to behavior change. Guilford Press.

Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, fast and slow. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x

National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Any anxiety disorder. National Institute of Mental Health. https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/any-anxiety-disorder

Yerkes, R. M., & Dodson, J. D. (1908). The relation of strength of stimulus to rapidity of habit-formation. Journal of Comparative Neurology and Psychology, 18(5), 459–482. https://doi.org/10.1002/cne.920180503

How many of your thoughts are actually facts... and how many are stories?

This week, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores why our brains create assumptions, why we think everyone is watching us, and how one simple question can help you separate reality from the stories you tell yourself.

Learn how changing your perspective could change your relationships, confidence, and everyday happiness.

Episodes Mentioned:

Episode 16 The Expectation Effect: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3D8Gji7BZ6YDRGRnoKqwKC?si=iBLWcBo0Rz2kMebnfSz6mg&utm_source=sms

Episode 19 Why Did We Stop Being Friends: https://open.spotify.com/episode/70ZRcUFP3Jgy48D3RlKKfi?si=knq-XFIuSjSfwYS6WWZiQg&utm_source=sms

References:

Berger, C. R., & Calabrese, R. J. (1975). Some explorations in initial interaction and beyond: Toward a developmental theory of interpersonal communication. Human Communication Research, 1(2), 99–112. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2958.1975.tb00258.x

Burns, D. D. (1980). Feeling good: The new mood therapy. William Morrow.

Gilovich, T., Medvec, V. H., & Savitsky, K. (2000). The spotlight effect in social judgment: An egocentric bias in estimates of the salience of one's own actions and appearance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 211–222. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.78.2.211

Kruglanski, A. W., & Webster, D. M. (1996). Motivated closing of the mind: "Seizing" and "freezing." Psychological Review, 103(2), 263–283. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.103.2.263

Ross, L. (1977). The intuitive psychologist and his shortcomings: Distortions in the attribution process. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 10, pp. 173–220). Academic Press. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(08)60357-3

Ross, L., & Nisbett, R. E. (1991). The person and the situation: Perspectives of social psychology. McGraw-Hill.