The Harbour Breeze Home Podcast

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The Loneliness Project Podcast - Episode 4 Show Notes

Episode Title: Never Forsaken: God’s Answer to Loneliness

Welcome Back!

Before we dive in, I want to express my deep gratitude to you, the listener. Many of you have journeyed with me through all four episodes, and I truly appreciate it. A special thanks to those who have engaged with the reflection questions or reached out with messages. Your responses have been insightful, encouraging, and even humorous at times!

Recap of Previous Episodes

I hope you’ve found ways to bring more joy into your days—laughter is a powerful antidote to loneliness!

Key Assumptions Throughout This Series

God’s Presence in Loneliness

From the beginning, God declared that it is not good for us to be alone. Throughout scripture, His messages are often addressed to communities, emphasizing the importance of relationships.

God also champions the underdog—foreigners, widows, and orphans. Isaiah 46:4 provides reassurance: “Even when you are old, I will take care of you; even when you have gray hair, I will carry you.”

For those of us who claim to follow God, this means we are called to love and care for the lonely among us.

Personal Story: Trusting in God’s Presence

Years later, I see how God was indeed in control. Even in the storm, He was present.

This truth extends to all of us—whether facing personal loneliness or the uncertainty of our times, we can trust that God “has got this.”

The Loneliness of Jesus & The Hope of the Cross

Yet, His story did not end on the cross. The resurrection brings hope—a powerful antidote to loneliness. As my chaplaincy professor, Dr. Gloria Woodland, put it:

Closing Thoughts

Jeremiah 29:11-13 reminds us:

Final Reflections

This is Irwin (Mr. Harbourbreeze). Blessings, my friends. Thank you for being part of The Loneliness Project.

You can find Rita Joy over on her blog each day sharing recipes and ideas for your home. You can also find her sharing at any of these places online:

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Links & Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Laughing with Wisdom: Dr. Kataria’s Creative Blend of Quotes and Laughter Exercises!

This is a link to one of the Articles on laughter in the Turkish care home: The effect of laughter yoga on loneliness, psychological resilience, and quality of life in older adults: A pilot randomized controlled trial - ScienceDirect

The Loneliness Project - Episode 3: Building a Hope-Filled Life

Welcome back to The Loneliness Project, a podcast dedicated to overcoming loneliness as we enter our later years. In this episode, Building a Hope-Filled Life: Practical Ways to Stay Connected, I’ll be sharing strategies for combating loneliness in everyday life. This is a lighter episode than the last, focusing on practical and encouraging ways to stay socially engaged.

I want to express my gratitude to those of you who have reached out via Instagram, email, and my reflection questions form. Your stories reinforce how deep and complex this topic is—there’s so much more to explore! If you’d like to receive my reflection questions and aren’t on my email list yet, reach out, and I’ll send them your way.

In our last episode, we explored some of the more difficult aspects of loneliness in later life, including dementia, end-of-life distress, and medical assistance in dying. I was recently reminded of how dementia can affect socialization—one dear lady I visited told me her kids hadn’t come to see her in ages, only to mention moments later that her son had visited that very morning. It’s heartbreaking. But today, we focus on hope.

Loneliness isn’t just about physical isolation—it’s deeply tied to emotional and spiritual well-being. Addressing loneliness builds resilience. While today’s focus is on physical and emotional aspects, I’ll explore the spiritual and theological dimensions in Part 4.

Physical activity benefits not only our bodies but also our mental health. And often, physical activity and socialization go hand in hand. Recently, while on a bike ride, I noticed that even though I was riding alone, I was still part of a larger community. A simple “Good morning!” or a smile from a stranger reinforced that connection.

Physical activity doesn’t have to be strenuous—walking, stretching, or even moving around with a walker can make a difference. One older woman I spoke to, despite limited mobility, still made it a priority to attend church, go on cruises, and engage with others. Another woman found purpose in knitting and crocheting gifts for caregivers. These simple yet meaningful actions helped them stay connected.

Putting yourself out there socially matters. It’s not just about mobility—it’s about seeing beyond your own troubles and finding ways to connect. One listener shared how their outgoing father struggled with loneliness after losing his wife. When he entered a rehab facility, his spirits lifted—simply because of social interaction. His family later hired young people to help him at home, and their companionship helped him regain joy.

Encouraging socialization before aging makes it easier to stay connected later. As one listener wisely noted, we must “risk becoming more socially interactive.” Yes, it can be uncomfortable, but the rewards are worth it.

In response to my reflection questions, listeners shared these proactive strategies:

Belonging to a community makes socialization easier. Neal Krause’s research highlights a powerful chain reaction:

People who attend worship services more often receive more spiritual support, which fosters humility, leading to greater emotional support and, ultimately, reduced loneliness and better health.

While attending church may not always be possible, engaging with a supportive community in any way can be beneficial. Whether or not everyone in that community is perfect isn’t the point—sometimes, you just want to go where everybody knows your name.

This may sound unusual, but have you heard of Laughter Yoga? Also known as laughter therapy, it involves simulated laughter exercises led by a certified trainer. Studies show that self-induced laughter provides the same physiological benefits as spontaneous laughter.

Research from care homes in Turkey found that laughter therapy significantly reduced feelings of loneliness among older adults. Proverbs 17:22 tells us, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Science is now affirming what Scripture has long taught—joy is healing.

Laughter comes more easily to those who have hope. My mother-in-law had a contagious laugh, and my wife and her sisters have carried on that joy. My father, at 86, still travels, preaches, and ensures every waitress at Denny’s leaves with a smile. Despite facing personal health struggles, his humor and outlook keep him going.

What will you do this week to incorporate physical activity, socialization, and laughter into your life? Maybe take a short walk, say hi to a neighbor, or watch a classic comedy like I Love Lucy. Even small actions can make a difference.

Next week, I’ll explore biblical insights on loneliness and answer any questions you have. If you’d like to contribute, send in your thoughts early—I record midweek before releasing episodes on Friday.

Thank you for being part of The Loneliness Project. Until next time, this is Irwin (Mr. Harbourbreeze) signing off. Blessings, my friends!

***

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Show notes:

John Swinton, Dementia: Living in the Memories of God. (William B. Eerdmans Pub. Co., 2012). The following are affiliate links for your shopping convenience.

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Reflection Questions from Part 1 https://forms.gle/fohRMokUQSCtujG58

Listen to Episode 1 "Life Lessons I Learned from Mom's Dementia": https://www.podbean.com/ew/pb-ip9m2-1401671

Transcript of this episode:

Welcome back to The Loneliness Project, a podcast dedicated to overcoming loneliness as we enter our later years. This is Part 2, titled End of Life and Loneliness: Hard Truths and Real Hope.

My name is Irwin, and as Rita mentioned, I am doing this project as part of my master's degree in Chaplaincy and Spiritual Care. Thank you so much to those who listened to the first episode! I truly appreciate your support.

I also have a very short questionnaire that I sent to my mailing list. If you're not on that list, you can join via the show notes or send me a message on social media, and I'll send the questions your way. As a small thank-you, I’ll be sending a Starbucks card to a couple of randomly chosen responders. Your feedback means a lot to me, and I will respond to some of it in Part 4.

Before diving into today’s discussion, let’s briefly revisit the last episode. We talked about the definitions of social isolation, loneliness, and solitude, and why addressing loneliness among older adults is so crucial.

I asked some key questions:

These are not easy questions, and there are no simple answers. I don’t claim to be an expert, but I do have insights and practical strategies that I will share in Part 3. In Part 4, we’ll explore theological hope, because I truly believe that hope exists through Jesus Christ.

Today, I want to focus on loneliness near the end of life. This isn’t an easy topic—certainly not dinner table conversation—but it’s important to acknowledge the realities that we or our loved ones will face as we age.

The choices we make in midlife significantly impact how we thrive in our later years. My insights come from my studies, research, and personal observations with older adults inside and outside of care homes.

I’ll be covering three key areas:

Requests for MAiD have increased since its legalization in Canada. While reasons for seeking MAiD vary—from unbearable pain to not wanting to be a burden—loneliness plays a significant role, even if indirectly. Emotional loneliness can intensify the experience of suffering, making it feel unbearable and hopeless.

As Christians, our response must be sensitive and compassionate, even when we hold strong convictions. Jesus is present even in suffering, offering meaning in what can seem hopeless. While we may not always change someone’s mind about MAiD, we can offer a loving presence and companionship.

For this section, I am especially indebted to John Swinton’s book, Dementia: Living in the Memories of God. Swinton highlights that loneliness is a central experience for many with dementia. Studies show that lonely individuals are twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s disease, and loneliness in midlife increases mortality risk and health complications in later years.

One study found that loneliness before age 70 correlates with a higher risk of dementia. More concerning is that it’s not the actual level of social isolation, but the perception of loneliness that has the greatest impact.

Lonely adults are also more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors such as excessive alcohol use, smoking, and lack of physical activity.

This can feel overwhelming, but knowledge empowers us to take action—both for ourselves and for those we care for.

This reminds me of a conversation I once had with my wife, Rita. Years ago, she was part of a women’s group that included both young moms and grandmothers. She noticed that while some older women were kind and warm, others seemed bitter and harsh.

One day, she asked me, almost in a panic: “Does it always happen? Do I have to become a grouchy old lady?”

Without thinking, I replied, “Well, if you don’t want to be a grouchy old lady, don’t be a grouchy young one!”

We’ve talked about this moment ever since. The attitudes and habits we cultivate now shape who we become in later years. Science now backs this up!

Loneliness is both a cause and a consequence of dementia. As social networks shrink, those with dementia struggle to engage. Systemic changes in dementia care are crucial, but on a personal level, we can make a difference.

Jesus' Golden Rule is clear: “Treat others as you would want them to treat you.” That might mean:

As Andy Stanley says, “Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.”

People with dementia are still people. We must resist the mindset that they cease to be themselves once they can’t remember our names. John Swinton’s book title says it all: Dementia, Living in the Memories of God. Even when someone forgets everyone else—even when they forget God—He never forgets them.

Approaching death can bring existential distress, particularly if someone has unresolved spiritual concerns. This period can lead to either spiritual growth or spiritual distress. The difference? Hope. Without hope, loneliness and despair take root.

Spiritual preparation is crucial. A relationship with God in life transforms our experience of death. As I once wrote:

“What is the goal of end-of-life care? Perhaps it is to be more honest—that death is not an easy process. In the messiness, pain, and fear, we can realize that the God of creation, in the form of Jesus, walks with us. We can still be agents of hope—not just in healing or recovery, but in the presence of Jesus, whether in life or in dying.”

I’ll speak more about that hope in Part 4.

That was a tough ride! Thank you for sticking with me through this deep and heavy topic. I promise that the next episode will be lighter and more hopeful.

This is Irwin (Mr. Harbourbreeze), signing off.

Blessings, my friends.

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Below is a brief outline of this podcast episode with links mentioned:

Introduction

A Personal Journey into Chaplaincy and Spiritual Care

Ten years ago, I never imagined going back to school to pursue a Master of Arts in Chaplaincy and Spiritual Care. However, life has a way of leading us in unexpected directions.

In 2017, my mother entered hospice care after a long battle with cancer. During that time, I was deeply moved by the dedication of the hospice staff, and I felt a calling to this type of work. That experience led me to volunteer at a local hospice, and soon after, I enrolled in a degree program to deepen my understanding and ability to serve others.

Fast forward to today—while I continue to work as a facilities director at my church, my role has evolved to include ministry to older adults. My passion for providing spiritual care and companionship to those in later stages of life has only grown.

What is the Loneliness Project?

This podcast series, The Loneliness Project, is part of a larger research and practical initiative for my degree. Over the course of four episodes, I aim to:

While this topic may not have the same “romantic appeal” as other popular discussions, I truly believe it can be life-changing for those who engage with it.

Understanding Loneliness: Key Definitions

To have a meaningful discussion about loneliness, we need to define three important terms:

Understanding these distinctions is crucial because not all alone time is harmful, but persistent loneliness can have serious consequences.

Why Address Loneliness in Older Adults?

While loneliness affects people of all ages, it is particularly concerning for older adults due to its significant impact on health and well-being:

The Cycle of Loneliness and Trust

One of the more surprising findings in loneliness research is the connection between loneliness and trust.

Understanding this cycle can help us become more intentional in reaching out to those who may be experiencing loneliness, breaking down barriers of distrust.

Your Thoughts Matter

Loneliness is a deeply personal experience, and I would love to hear from you:

Let’s continue this conversation. You can reach out via the contact details in the show notes of the podcast.

Looking Ahead

In the next blog post, we will explore loneliness in relation to end-of-life concerns, including dementia and medical assistance in dying.

Thank you for joining me in this conversation—there is hope, and we are never truly alone.

Blessings, my friends.

Irwin

Whether you're hosting a cozy family dinner or a festive Christmas feast, setting the table can be such a fun thing! In this post, I share simple and easy tablescape ideas to add a special touch to your holiday meals.

Find all the links to today's show here: https://www.harbourbreezehome.com/tablescapes/

Decorating your tree & home for Christmas doesn’t have to be overwhelming or expensive! I’ll share budget-friendly and creative ways to make your Christmas tree sparkle—whether it’s your first Christmas or your 34th!

Find all the links mentioned in this podcast here: https://www.harbourbreezehome.com/christmas-tree-decorating/

Skip the overwhelm and find a Christmas color scheme that captures the cozy holiday feeling you want. Get inspired by examples you can find now, so you can deck the halls with ease!

Find the blog post with all the items described in this podcast here: https://www.harbourbreezehome.com/christmas-color-scheme/

Whether you're team real tree or artificial, this guide is packed with practical tips for choosing the best Christmas tree for your home, no matter the season of life you're in. Learn the pros and cons of each- with some hilarious real life stories thrown in.

Find the blog post with all the links mentioned at Harbour Breeze Home here: https://www.harbourbreezehome.com/choose-christmas-tree/

Rita Joy is the author of the home and recipe blog Harbour Breeze Home. You can find family favorite recipes (like these amazing rolled sugar cookies!), home decorating ideas on a budget, and time saving tips - like how to freeze avocados! You can find her writing on the blog or over on her Instagram telling stories most days...

Whether you’re celebrating your first Christmas as a new family or navigating the holidays as empty nesters, this series is packed with festive ideas! I’ll share my best Christmas tips—as a Christmas loving "Christmas minimalist" - from decorating and baking to gift-giving—tailored for every season of life.

Find all the information mentioned in this podcast here: https://www.harbourbreezehome.com/christmas-secrets/

Rita Joy is an empty nest Grandma who is the author of the homemaking blog www.harbourbreezehome.com. She shares recipes, decorating tips, & home organization she's learned over 30 years of homemaking to help make daily life more beautiful - and simple, too!

In this podcast episode, I'm introducing you to my sweet little granddaughter who teaches us all a valuable lesson in the value of learning hard things and celebrating the wins! Alongside her story, I'm sharing a piece of my own personal journey of facing fear and anxiety, and the truth of finding rest in where our true identity is found. Through our experiences, we are reminded of the unwavering support of our heavenly father, who cheers us on through every step of life's journey, ready to catch us when we stumble.

You can find the all the recipes I've written on my blog here,  and this week's new recipe is the BEST sloppy joes recipe. (It was my mom's, of course!)

You can become a VIP newsletter subscriber member and get exclusive access to a whole library of free printables for your home - including printable wall art and a 30 Day Decluttering calendar here: https://harbourbreezehome.ck.page/vip-printables

Find out more about Rita Joy at her blog Harbour Breeze Home where she shares practical tips for everyday life like the best way to clean a glass shower door and yummy ideas like her mom's recipe for rhubarb crisp. You can also see her smiling face over on her Instagram stories @harbourbreeze.