The hidden costs of workplace intimacy and how to navigate systemic betrayal.

Episode Summary

We are often told that trust is the foundation of a healthy workplace, but what happens when that trust is used to mask deep-seated inequity? In this episode, sociologist and author Sarah Mosseri joins host Ellen Whitlock Baker to discuss her book, Trust Fall: How Workplace Relationships Fail Us. Sarah shares the "weird puzzle" that sparked her research: while institutional trust in America is at an all-time low, over 80% of workers still claim to trust their managers and peers. Through over 1,200 hours of ethnographic observation across tech startups, restaurants, and the gig economy, Sarah reveals why we cling to these bonds even when the underlying systems are increasingly insecure.

The conversation dives deep into the phenomenon of "trust overload," where personal relationships are forced to do the work that fair rules and structural protections should be doing. Sarah explains how "Maverick Managers"—often white, cis-gender men who use plain talk or "endearing incompetence"—can build intense loyalty while women and people of color are often denied that same latitude (think Michael Scott from The Office). Ellen and Sarah explore how these dynamics shift risk onto the most vulnerable employees, making workplace betrayal not just personal, but systemic.

Finally, Sarah offers a way forward using her MAP framework: naming the Moment, Analyzing the pattern, and finding your People. Ellen and Sarah discuss the power of collective action, the lessons learned from ride-hail drivers who fought back against platform invisibility, and the importance of building community outside of our primary job. Whether you are a leader looking to build genuine accountability or a worker trying to "unlearn" toxic norms, this episode provides a necessary reality check on what it really means to trust at work.

Keywords

trust in workplace, organizational culture, workplace inequality, management practices, employee relationships, ethnography, workplace trust, systemic bias, leadership, workplace research

Key Topics

The paradox of trust in workplaces with low institutional trust

Ethnographic research across diverse workplaces

How managerial practices influence trust and betrayal

The role of systemic inequality in workplace trust

Strategies for building genuine trust and community

Resources

Trust Fall by Sarah Mosseri - https://www.smosseri.com/trust-fall

Sarah Mosseri's Website - https://www.sarahmosseri.com

Work Fails (Substack) - https://workfails.substack.com

In this episode of the Hard at Work podcast, host Ellen Whitlock Baker sits down with Dr. Laura Suttin, a family physician, consultant, coach, and author of The Purposeful MD, to tackle the crisis of healthcare burnout.

While the medical field often treats self-sacrifice as a "badge of honor," Dr. Suttin argues that the current level of clinician fatigue is a solvable systemic issue rather than an individual failure. They dive into the reality of modern medicine, from the burdens of Electronic Medical Records (EMRs) designed for billing rather than care, to the staggering statistic that a typical family physician would need 27 hours in a day just to manage their patient panel effectively.

Dr. Suttin shares practical, high-impact solutions for healthcare leadership, emphasizing that the "system" is ultimately made of people who have the collective power to demand change. The conversation explores the promise of AI in healthcare to reduce charting burdens and the importance of "practicing at the top of your license" through team-based care.

Whether you are a clinician looking to lead without guilt or a leader striving to build a sustainable workplace culture, this episode offers a hopeful roadmap for moving beyond survival mode and reclaiming purpose in the medical profession.

What’s Inside the Episode:

Have you ever sat down to rest, only to find your brain spinning with a mile-long to-do list and a heavy dose of guilt? You aren’t alone. In this episode, Ellen dives deep into the "insidious inability to rest" and why our brains view healthy changes—like setting boundaries or recovering from surgery—as a threat to our comfort zones. Even as a coach who teaches burnout prevention, Ellen reveals her recent struggle with the "itch" of productivity and why choosing yourself can often feel countercultural.

It’s time to unlearn the belief that rest is a reward you have to earn. Ellen shares a practical, three-step process to navigate uncomfortable feelings: naming the emotion, locating it in the body, and using Susan David’s "what the func?" method to understand what your brain is trying to tell you. Whether you’re recovering from a setback or just trying to survive a Tuesday without a meltdown, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap for unravelling yourself from toxic productivity—one color-by-number page at a time.

Key Takeaways & Links:

The Science of Naming: Why labeling your emotions makes them easier to manage.

What the func?: Understanding the function and purpose behind your emotions.

Practical Mindfulness: How simple acts (like coloring) can quiet a spinning mind.

Show Notes:

• Tricia Hersey's Rest is Resistance and The Nap Ministry
• Tricia Hersey's Rest Deck
• Listen to Episode 13 of Hard at Work, "When Rest Feels Wrong"
• Susan David's book Emotional Agility (creator of "what the func?")

Is your "experience" actually creating rigidity? In her first solo episode of Season 2, Ellen Whitlock Baker dives deep into the essential leadership skill of modeling. While many leaders espouse the importance of work-life balance and behavioral health, Ellen challenges us to look in the mirror: Are you actually living the values you’re teaching, or are you a "do as I say, not as I do" leader?

Drawing on insights from past guests like Kira Mauseth, Trystan Reese, and Britt Frank, Ellen breaks down why the "old school" management books from 20 years ago don’t cut it in today’s reality—especially when it comes to managing Gen Z and rejecting toxic, "always-on" work cultures.

• The Hidden Cost of After-Hours Communication: Why sending that "quick" 2:00 AM email ruins your team's ability to disconnect, and how to use delayed send or notes apps to protect your boundaries.
• The Science of the Nervous System: How true out-of-office time (no lurking on Slack!) is clinically necessary to move from "fight or flight" into a restorative parasympathetic state.
• The "Meeting Overload" Trap: Why a schedule with no breathing room makes you unavailable to your team and leads to systemic burnout.
• Micro Yeses for Leaders: Using Britt Frank’s philosophy to reclaim your calendar one hour at a time—without the world falling apart.

This episode offers you the ability to find one tiny, actionable thing you can do tomorrow to make your workplace healthier for everyone.

Tags: Leadership Development, Empathetic Leadership, Modern Management, Servant Leadership, Executive Coaching, Healthy Workplace, Toxic Productivity, Burnout Prevention, Work-Life Balance , Behavioral Health , Modeling Behavior , Micro Yeses , Time Management , Reducing Meetings , Out of Office Best Practices , Gen Z in the Workplace , Managing Younger Generations , Kira Mauseth , Trystan Reese , Britt Frank

In this episode of the Hard at Work podcast, host Ellen Whitlock Baker sits down with award-winning author, facilitator, and coach Trystan Reese to explore the transformative power of "adaptation skills" in the modern workplace.

Reese challenges the prevailing "throwaway culture" by arguing that no employee is truly disposable, particularly when harm is caused unwillingly due to a lack of awareness or a steep learning curve. By moving away from shame-based reactions and toward restorative coaching, organizations can help leaders transition from causing harm to becoming genuine accomplices in building more inclusive environments.

Reese introduces the "farming for dissent" framework—a strategy used by leaders like Barack Obama—to proactively seek out and reward disagreement as a means of building trust and improving project outcomes. Listeners will learn how to implement "pre-mortems" to identify risks before they become failures, turning potential workplace disasters into opportunities for collective growth.

For people who struggle with receiving feedback, Reese provides a masterclass on navigating rejection sensitivity and the physiological "tunnel" of emotional triggers. He shares practical "nervous system hacks," such as the power of starting a difficult conversation with a simple "thank you" to signal safety to both the speaker and the receiver.

The episode also highlights the importance of modeling self-awareness by allowing leaders to "tap out" of conversations when they are too emotionally activated to respond productively.

Finally, the discussion reframes the goal of workplace culture from "psychological safety" to "brave leadership". Reese explains that while safety can be misconstrued as mere comfort, bravery allows for the discomfort necessary to dismantle systemic biases and foster real change. By centering dignity and curiosity over defense mechanisms, teams can create higher-trust environments.

#BraveLeadership #WorkplaceCulture #ConflictResolution #TrystanReese #InclusionAndBelonging #FeedbackSkills #PsychologicalSafety #HardAtWorkPodcast #LeadershipDevelopment #FarmingForDissent

How burnout shows up when success is fueled by old wounds

What if the hardest part of being “hard at work” isn’t your workload — it’s everything underneath it? In this episode, Dr. Merary Simeon joins Ellen Whitlock Baker to talk about the invisible drivers that fuel ambition: old messages, past pain, and the pressure to prove you’re “enough.” Merary shares the moment she realized her success was being powered by survival mode — and why burnout often shows up when your body finally refuses to keep carrying what your mind has normalized.

Merary walks us through H.E.R.A.C.T., her framework for doing the work beneath the work: Healing, Elevating your mindset, Respect, Achieving confidence, and Transformation. Together, Ellen and Merary unpack why so many of us want to skip the healing step (because it’s personal, messy, and confronting) — and why it’s also the most freeing. They talk about grief, guilt, perfectionism, microaggressions, and the way “constant availability” gets confused with effectiveness… until it becomes burnout in disguise.

They also zoom out to what needs to change inside workplaces — not just inside individuals — including the power of sponsorship, sharing power, and building real relationships across difference. If you’ve ever felt trapped by a job, haunted by what work has taken from you, or stuck in a loop of trying harder while feeling worse, this conversation offers a grounded path forward — and one unforgettable reframe: forgiveness is the hidden reset button.

Tags: Dr. Merary Simeon, Hard at Work Podcast, The Work Beneath the Work, HER ACT Framework, Multicultural Women in Power, Executive Leadership, Inner Work, Burnout Recovery, Healing at Work, Leadership Development, Diversity and Inclusion, Career Transformation, Sponsorship vs Mentorship, Professional Growth, Overcoming Adversity, Work-Life Integration, Women of Color in Leadership, Code AM, Forgiveness as a Reset, Holistic Leadership, Ending Constant Availability, Sharing Power

Chapters:

00:00 – The Work Beneath the Work Dr. Merary introduces the concept of inner healing and doing the "invisible" work required to show up strong in the professional world.

04:00 – Recognizing and Resetting from Burnout A candid discussion on how burnout manifests physically and the importance of being intentional about resetting over and over again.

06:05 – The HER ACT Framework Breaking down the five pillars of Dr. Merary’s research-based framework: Healing, Elevating, Respect, Achieving confidence, and Transformation.

08:10 – Why You Can’t Skip the Healing Step Exploring why healing is the most difficult but freeing stage, and how it provides the clarity needed to regain personal integrity.

17:05 – Reclaiming Power and Prioritizing Family Dr. Merary shares her personal journey of choosing her family over the trap of "constant availability".

22:11 – Building Multicultural Women in Leadership Strategies for closing the pay gap and moving more women of color into executive positions through the "Code AM" framework.

29:30 – The Power of Connection and Community The importance of finding "truth-tellers," mentors, and good friends to ensure you don't isolate yourself during hard times.

35:45 – Sponsorship: Sharing Your Power How leaders can proactively expand their networks and use their influence to create seats at the table for others

Show Notes:

• Book: H.E.R.A.C.T. by Dr. Merary Simeon.

• Podcast: What Rules!? (Co-hosted by Dr. Merary Simeon, Alisa Manjarrez, and Courtney Copelin).

• Website: Merarysimeon.com

• LinkedIn: Dr. Merary Simeon

• Instagram: @MerarySimeon

How people-pleasers stop outsourcing their decisions and reconnect with their inner knowing

For anyone who has ever hit every goal and received all the praise yet still felt profoundly miserable, this episode offers a roadmap out of the "A-student" trap. Host Ellen Whitlock Baker is joined by Lauree Ostrofsky—coach, business and marketing consultant, and two-time author—to explore what happens when high achievers realize their current career no longer fits. Ellen and Lauree dig into the classic people-pleaser trap: being valued for one set of skills while the work that lights you up gets sidelined—and how that disconnect can keep you stuck longer than you want to admit.

Lauree shares the reinvention lessons she’s seen in her most successful clients, including: “find the linchpin.” She and Ellen talk about the small, crucial people and moments that bolt your next chapter into place (even when you don’t have a perfect plan), how gratitude helps you notice new doors, and why change doesn’t have to be a brutal, hustle-y leap off a cliff. If you’re burned out on overthinking and constantly needing a second opinion, you’ll love Lauree’s take on building self-trust and making decisions without outsourcing your confidence.

• The "Linchpin" Strategy: Lauree breaks down how to identify the small, crucial moments and people that anchor a new chapter, just like a linchpin holds parts of a car together. By practicing gratitude for past "linchpins," listeners can open themselves up to noticing the new doors and connections appearing in their current lives.

• Building Self-Trust: A look at how to stop "outsourcing confidence" and overthinking every move. Lauree shares a challenge from her own coach that forced her to send proposals without a second opinion, highlighting how ingrained the need for permission can be.

• Fear with Compassion: Lauree explains the origin of her mantra, "I’m scared, but I’m doing it anyway." This philosophy was born from a life-altering brain tumor diagnosis at age 28, which forced her to redefine what was truly scary versus what was merely uncomfortable.

• The "First Day of School" Approach: Instead of "muscling through" fear, Lauree suggests treating your inner anxious self like a child on their first day of school—offering snacks, comfort, and kind words to move gently over the start line.

• Certainty in the Chaos: From keeping a puzzle in her office to finding "soft" ways to pivot, Lauree emphasizes that reinvention doesn't have to be a "hustle-y" leap off a cliff. It can be a series of kind, intentional shifts that prioritize personal happiness over corporate praise.

If you're looking for a smarter way to pivot without losing your sense of self in the process, this conversation provides the permission and the tools to begin.

Tags: Career Reinvention, Overcoming Burnout, Self-Trust, People Pleasing, Women in Business, Professional Coaching, Mindset Shift, Career Change, Overcoming Fear, Personal Development, A-Student Syndrome, Intuition at Work, Life Transitions, Leadership, Entrepreneurship, Mental Health, Work-Life Balance, Self-Compassion, Pivot, Career Growth

Show Notes:

• Simply Leap by Lauree Ostrofsky
• I'm Scared, But I'm Doing It Anyway by Lauree Ostrofsky
• The Science of Stuck and Align Your Mind by Britt Frank
• Learn more about Lauree’s membership program

Connect with Lauree:

• Website

• Instagram

• Facebook

• LinkedIn

Whether you’ve spent 20 years in one field and realized you’re unfulfilled, or you’re just a few years into your first job and realizing the path you were "supposed" to take doesn't fit who you are, this episode is for you. Ellen is joined by Aleenah Ansari—a writer, content creator, and strategic creative who specializes in helping people find and amplify their own stories.

Ellen and Aleenah dive deep into "Step Zero" of a career pivot: reclaiming your narrative. Aleenah shares why jealousy might actually be your most honest career coach and how to perform a skills audit that honors your humanity, not just your job titles. They also explore how to apply human-centered design to the workplace, reimagining our environments to work for us rather than feeling like something we need to escape.

This conversation is a masterclass in owning your story before someone else writes it for you. They discuss how to make networking feel authentic to the current version of you and why being honest about being in transition is the key to building a supportive community. For anyone ready to stop starting from scratch and start designing a career with agency, Aleenah’s insights provide the roadmap to get there.

In this episode, Ellen and Aleenah discuss:

• Step Zero: How to reclaim your professional narrative during a career transition.
• The Jealousy Compass: Using envy as a data point to identify what you actually value.
• Skills Auditing: Why you aren't starting at zero and how to identify your transferable "human" skills.
• Human-Centered Design: Applying design thinking to your career and your workplace.
• Authentic Networking: Building a community that supports the version of you that exists today.

Show Notes:

Aleenah’s Website: AleenahAnsari.com

Aleenah’s TEDx Talk: "How to Reclaim Your Narrative"

Book: Uncompete by Ruchika Malhotra

Book: The Design of Everyday Things by Don Norman

Tags: Career Pivot, Personal Branding, Transferable Skills, Human-Centered Design, Career Change, Narrative Identity, Professional Development, Networking for Introverts, Workplace Culture, Design Thinking, Mid-Career Transition, Women in Business.

What if the nonprofit sector isn’t broken because people don’t care—but because we’ve been taught a whole lot of nonsense about how work, funding, and leadership are “supposed” to function? In this episode of Hard at Work, Ellen is joined by writer, activist, and nonprofit truth-teller Vu Le, author of Unicorns Unite and the mind behind the long-running blog Nonprofit AF, for a wide-ranging, funny, and deeply honest conversation about why nonprofit work is exhausting—and how it could be radically better.

Vu breaks down the biggest myths holding the sector back: risk aversion driven by short-term funding, performative accountability obsessed with metrics instead of impact, and workplace structures borrowed from corporate culture that burn people out instead of supporting them. Together, they explore alternatives like four-day workweeks, co-director leadership models, advice-based decision making, and community-centric fundraising—approaches that prioritize trust, expertise, and shared power rather than hierarchy and control. Vu also names how philanthropy’s refusal to fund operations, salaries, and long-term work keeps nonprofits stuck in survival mode while pretending that’s “responsible.”

This episode is especially for fundraisers, nonprofit leaders, and mission-driven professionals who feel tired, disillusioned, or trapped in systems that don’t align with their values. It’s also a reminder that hope doesn’t only live inside institutions. Vu shares powerful examples of community-led action, mutual aid, and collective care that exist beyond nonprofit status—and why reconnecting to community is often the antidote to burnout. Expect laughter, righteous frustration, praise of the Oxford comma, and a new way of thinking about the future of work.

Show Notes

• Get Vu's book, Reimagining Nonprofits and Philanthropy, here
• Check out Vu's blog, Nonprofit AF

Keywords: workplace culture, burnout, nonprofit leadership, toxic work culture, equity at work, systems change, moral injury, emotional labor, mission-driven work, nonprofit burnout, values-driven leadership, women at work, humane workplaces

In this episode of Hard at Work, Ellen is joined by critic, speaker, and author Jodi-Ann Burey (Authentic: The Myth of Bringing Your Full Self to Work) for an honest conversation about why “bring your whole self to work” has become one of the most misleading—and dangerous—ideas in modern workplace culture.

Jodi-Ann shares that she wrote the book because she wanted to have a conversation about authenticity that she could recognize. She explains the concept of "ops," or the "agents of the status quo," who she describes are the people in the workplace who help to keep things the same when they really need to change. Ellen and Jodi-Ann get into how the fear of losing power keeps these agents of the status quo working against the best interests of employees, and leads them instead to practices like employee monitoring (checking badge swipes, whether you're active on teams), which, instead of creating productivity, create an environment of unease and distrust.

Jodi-Ann explains that when we ask people to "bring their whole self to work" we are pushing off the work of creating a protective environment to the individuals who are most vulnerable to the workplace's harms. Ellen and Jodi-Ann also discuss how toxic and corrosive the nonprofit sector can be, particularly for people of color, whose individual stories Jodi-Ann shares in the book.

How do you avoid being an op? Jodi-Ann suggests building community connections and performing an audit of your personal and professional life -- asking yourself what communities are you connected with? Who are you getting feedback from? Who might be missing? And answering honestly.

If you're in the workplace in 2026, especially if you're a leader, this is an episode not to miss. It may be uncomfortable to investigate your own history with asking team members to bring their whole self to work, or encourage authenticity for everyone, but Jodi-Ann's thought leadership helps us all more deeply understand why it's time for change in the workplace.

Show Notes

• Buy Jodi-Ann's book here
• Jodi-Ann's website, LinkedIn, and Instagram
• Watch Jodi-Ann's TED Talk, The Myth of Bringing Your Full, Authentic Self to Work
• Read Stop Telling Women They Have Imposter Syndrome, an HBR article by Jodi-Ann and Ruchika Malhotra, and their follow up, End Imposter Syndrome In Your Workplace.