Episode 52

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

Jess came to visit!! And we went to a Herd conference! And now we are back talking to you about being peopled out and completed out of everything. 

So we’re talking to you about that! Some of the fun we have and some of the ways we are trying to rebalance and recharge ourselves, and moments we found in the conference to help ourselves through it. 

And yes, I am old enough that traveling with my own pillow sounds much more fun than traveling without. 

There is a NSFW joke at about 32:57 to 33:18 (video) or 31:45 to 32:06 (audio) for those especially fragile. Not that we don’t swear all the time anyway.

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in a podcast episode, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/ Stay tuned for episodes featuring some of his top notch clinicians!

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 51

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

Sorry for the skipped episode drop! I was going to rush and put it out later that week and then I realized no…just take a breath and get back to it. And here we are!

This week we’re talking about building some compassion for the version of ourselves that stayed in bad situations too long. Be it a toxic work environment, that relationship we just can’t seem to step away from, the habits that do nothing for our actual health, whatever it is that we know we “should” step back from but just can’t let ourselves yet.

There’s comfort in familiarity, shame and anger at ourselves for staying when we know it’s not healthy, legitimate barriers in our way…so many things that we have to navigate not only to break ourselves free but also to create the capacity to grow and change and not just fall back into another trap. 

The Stanford Prison Experiment wasn’t as fantastical as papers like to write it up to be, but it did show a lot of adapting to environments and expectations. 

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in a podcast episode, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/ Stay tuned for episodes featuring some of his top notch clinicians!

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 50

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

Today we talk about that impact when someone else is trying to make their panic and stress into something that you have to solve OR ELSE. Not my monkeys, not my circus. I’m more than happy to attend but I cannot take over in order to let you avoid your own anxious feelings.

As a therapist, as a friend, as a family member or spouse or child or any relationship, I completely care about you as a human being that is a rough spot, and I can stay grounded in my own limitations and abilities and my own understanding of reality for how I need to respond. 

It’s a lot to hold the focus and the field in mind at the same time; to separate what is mine and what is yours.  Doing so will let me know what needs to be addressed, what is safe or unsafe, and what my next step should be to remain.

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in a podcast episode, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/ Stay tuned for episodes featuring some of his top notch clinicians!

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 49

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

Apologize for Jess being dark/having off audio. It is what it is. 

Today we are talking about the window of tolerance. This is the optimal space that we function in, where we are energized enough to engage and not so overwhelmed as to fly off the handle at anything that is in our path. Avoiding the zombie phase and the rage phase is a struggle we all face. 

And full disclosure, the two of us are having another set of weeks where we are stressing the edges of our window of tolerance and trying to maintain functioning truly and not just by stealing energy from tomorrow.

We want to know our edges and our boundaries, so we can keep ourself in the optimal area for working on hard things, and so we can increase our window of tolerance and skills in self-regulation to make life easier for us. So listen to us ramble through our attempts to find our window and make it open a tiny little bit wider. 

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in a podcast episode, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/ Stay tuned for episodes featuring some of his top notch clinicians!

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 48

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

Today we are touch on the difference between hiding in coping skills and opening up to potential healing and growth. 

Coping skills are for regulation. They get us through the tough moments. If we keep running from discomfort though and never use new skills to challenge that which we could not do before, there is no growth. 

We need closure, we need autonomy, we need to be able to live life, not to slowly isolate it down in order not to face things that are hard, because even then the hard things find a way through. 

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in a podcast episode, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/ Stay tuned for episodes featuring some of his top notch clinicians!

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 47

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

Today we are joined by Zico Alame from Journey Together PC!

Zico wanted to talk about the importance and impact of a healthy therapeutic alliance on progress in therapy. 

Having a healthy relationship lets you work on the hard things, learn how to navigate ruptures and identify actual read flags and harmful behavior, and practice the skills that you want to take into the world to use in their ongoing relationships. 

We explore what goes into a healthy relationship in therapy, what to look for, and that it is ok to walk away from a therapist (or a client..or a person) who we just do not fit well with. 

The podcast Very Bad Therapy has finished updating but it is well worth listening to if you are concerned that you are being a bad therapist (which all of us should be checking) or  if you’re a client and feeling uncomfortable in your therapeutic relationship. Or if you just like drama. 

And there totally are studies on how using electroconvulsive therapy (ECT…old school One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest brain shocks that are actually still used in several places these days) as well as just administering electric shock or other aversives (including spraying with a water bottle like a cat) to alleviate self injurious behaviors in individuals with lower cognitive functioning  (feel free to raise all the red flags about this…..there are several. I feel grosser having looked up the studies, and only am slightly relieved by the fact that many I saw were older).

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in a podcast episode, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/ Stay tuned for episodes featuring some of his top notch clinicians!

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 46

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

“This guy is a whole ass train wreck”

Today we found an anonymous post on one of my Therapy Support boards and we react. There is no username to attach this to but if you recognize the story, give us a shout. Unrequited love, red flags, projection, manic-pixie-dream-girl, profound questions along the lines of “You still play guitar…” the never ending search for mental health and healthy relationships…This interaction gets you feeling for times when we’ve been on both sides of these interactions. 

If all you love of someone is your image of who you want them to be, you are not really loving the person.  And if you're wondering what my face was doing the entire time Jess was reading, head over to the youtube channel to find out!

Jess and I therapeutically explore the concerns in this interaction and point out some of the considerations behind this projected connection and where to start unpacking the experience from either side in order to progress from here. Mainly this includes recommendations of paper spray and get ye to therapy. 

Also if you got this far, I’m the shark ;)

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in a podcast episode, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/ Stay tuned for episodes featuring some of his top notch clinicians!

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 45

Welcome to the Healing Pod! 

First off an apology for this one, Jess’ internet was not cooperating and it nerfed her vocals very badly on all copies of her recording. So rather than being sensible people and rescheduling everything with our guest we pushed through anyway. 

Today we’re talking with Miki! The wonderful person who created our intro and outro music who is out about her poly status in the world so seemed a good person to talk about. Honestly I would love top dive deeper with the attachment theories of it all and so maybe we’ll do another one down the line.

But we talk some general information, some of Miki’s experiences, and some of our own understanding and questions regarding just how does one relationship when you decided to throw away the manual.

Some vocab: Ethical Nonmonogomay: A relationship style where you ethically (clear consent from ALL parties) engage in whatever you and your partners consider to be nonmonogomous behaviors. Included in this is polyamory (many loves, meaning maintaining or being open to multiple relationships and whatever you determine to be a relationship) and open marriages (a little more flexible, like swinging or just open to flings, less of an emphasis on establishing additional relationships). Much like the bi/pan/omni sexual debate, these labels are very largely open to individual interpretation and the way one party acts out their label may not match how another interprets the label. 

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in the podcast, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Dr. Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Dr. Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 44

Welcome to the Healing Pod! It was really a struggle behind the scenes for us to actually get this one together. So we just literally picked a reddit story and decided to talk off of that. It’s getting us back into the flow at least, promise for next one we will be a little more present!

The story is simple. A girl falls for guys she doesn’t like hoping for the fairy tale to just be handed to her and surprise! It ends in heart break despite the protections in place.

We dig into some of the people pleasing, attachment patterns, pity relationships, and avoidant tendencies that go into trying to make a fairy tale movie out of half a script. 

It’s a little more rambling and looser, but we go through what we notice and some ideas of what’s behind it and how to take another step from that point. 

Bonus moments of talking about open relationships, Disney princesses, and Jess’s poor rooster having a bad day.

Comp-het is Compulsory Heterosexuality in case anyone wondered. It’s where the assumption is that you’re straight so you just lean into it and don’t quite realize that the lack of response you have is due to a lack of orientation and not to some flaw or lack of effort. 

Spoiler alert: No one is good at dating in high school. It’s practice, we know nothing, we are learning. It’s supposed to be messy. 

I still don’t like grilled cheese. But I do love my wife. 

Please do come to couple’s therapy to build skills when you notice there’s an issue, not as a last ditch attempt when someone is checked out. You need to still have grace for each other and want things to get better. 

If you want to give us something to talk about, or join in the podcast, feel free to post on any of our social media or submit an anonymous story here: https://forms.gle/77KgEmvVpLYBMAHt6

As always, thank you to the wonderful Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

And thank you to Keith Christie of Journey Together and Mia Karpack for helping us get our socials up and going! https://journeytogetherpc.com/

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod 

Episode 43

Welcome to the Healing Pod! Here’s a more clarified start for season two, right before we debate changing it!! 

Trues story yo, meeting with people now to see about plans and ideas for more interviews and fun things for this season.

In the meanwhile, here we are again, talking about making a trauma dump chaotic life period a little more therapeutically healthy 

We’re looking at getting more into personal stories this year, but not letting it turn just into a trauma dumping/re-traumatizing period. We want to create a space to explore these stories. 

And no trauma bonding! Because we do not want to pull you into an abusive situation with us, we want you to walk away with perspectives to consider and tools to use.

We will be in here with you, because we’ve been there, we’ve heard it, we’ve trained for it, and we’ll be damn’d if we’re leaving you to go through it alone. 

DTMFA = Dump the M*therF*cker Already (props to Dan Savage for that acronym).

We’ll update this and keep you all posted as we develop this season further and shall have all the fun we can along the way!

As always, thank you to the wonderful Miki Anderson for our intro and outtro music. She can be found under Pax Minerva on Apple Music and is all around a wonderful human being. 

Come join us and chat, complain, or send in what mental health you would like to hear us ramble about! 

Find us on Facebook, TikTok, and instagram at The Healing Pod 

We are online at https://www.PeasInTheHealingPod.com  

You can email us any questions, suggestions, comments, or memes at [email protected]  

If you want to hunt down the bits and bobbles that have been cut out of our episode, join us for another live recording, or just to buy us a cup of coffee, come join us at https://www.patreon.com/TheHealingPod