The High Conflict Blueprint | For Stepmoms Dealing with a Toxic or Narcissistic Ex

You start to mention weekend plans to the kids, but you stop yourself mid-sentence. Because you know what happens next – within 24 hours, the ex will know. She'll have something nasty to say about it, she might even try to ruin it entirely.

This is one of the most frustrating parts of high conflict co-parenting – when everything you say or do gets reported back to the high conflict ex. 

You'll learn why she uses the kids as spies, how to protect your privacy and plans without shutting them out, and most importantly, how to stop feeling like you're constantly being judged in your own home. 

If you're tired of editing every word and feeling like nothing in your life is truly private, this will help.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Ever feel like you're losing your mind trying to understand why the ex acts the way she does?

By the end of this episode, you might finally have an explanation for behaviours that have been driving you crazy.

I'll walk you through the high conflict narcissist (“I’m superior, you're nothing”) the borderline (“I love you, I hate you”) the antisocial (cruel con artist), the paranoid (highly suspicious), and the histrionic (dramatic, accusatory).

If you recognise any of these personality types in your high conflict ex (and you likely will), this episode will help you finally understand what you're dealing with so you can learn how to manage her more effectively.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/5-types

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Another "emergency" text at 9 PM. Another crisis that somehow requires immediate attention. You're exhausted from fighting with her about everything she throws at you.

Today, I'll show you exactly how to choose your battles with a high conflict ex without burning yourself out in the process.

You'll discover why she creates endless conflict, and take the guesswork out of when to respond and when to let it go.

No more spending hours agonising over the "right" response. Instead, you can be strategic about where you invest your precious time and emotional energy.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/pick-your-battles

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You rehearse the perfect request – polite, reasonable, with plenty of notice. But you already know what's coming. The automatic "no" from the high conflict ex.

If you've been there, you'll know that crushing frustration of trying to negotiate with someone who seems to enjoy refusing everything.

And every time she refuses something reasonable that would actually benefit the kids, you feel that anger building. Why does it have to be this hard?

In today's episode, I'll show you how to make requests of a high conflict ex that increases your chances of getting a yes, while also keeping you out of the drama. 

Because when you understand the psychology behind her need to refuse everything, you can start working with it instead of against it.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/getting-to-yes

👉 Episode 5 – Tired of Feeling Blindsided? How to Predict Her Next Move and Stay One Step Ahead: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/pattern-behind-chaos

👉 FREE GUIDE DOWNLOAD – Stop Being Blindsided. Grab the "Drama Tracker" to spot the patterns behind her chaos. highconflictblueprint.com/drama-tracker

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

You're constantly frustrated. 

She won't respect boundaries. He won't stand up to her. Nobody does what they should do, and you're stuck feeling angry, disappointed, and resentful about it all. 

In this episode, I reveal the surprising reason you feel so frustrated – and it's not what you think. 

While you've been focused on the ex's toxic behaviour, there's something else quietly stealing your peace. It’s your "Manual” – a set of unwritten rules you have about how everyone should behave so you can be happy. 

The problem? When people don't follow these rules (and they don't), you're guaranteed to feel disappointed, angry, disrespected, deflated. 

You'll see how you've accidentally handed over control of your emotions to the ex, and more importantly, learn a practical process for taking it back .

This isn't about becoming a doormat or having no boundaries – it's about taking back control of how you feel, regardless of what anyone else does.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/the-manual

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

She's nice to you, then sends a toxic text.

You're wondering – is the ex really high conflict? Maybe she just had a bad day... maybe you're imagining things... maybe you're the problem?

This episode gives a clear way to help you tell if she’s truly high conflict, or if she’s just difficult. 

I'll walk you through real scenarios that show the patterns high conflict people follow, even when they seem reasonable on the surface.

This matters, because when you're dealing with a true high conflict ex, normal co-parenting strategies don't just fail – they make things worse.

When you know what you're truly dealing with, you can stop doing things that backfire, and start using tools that actually work.

If you've been second-guessing yourself or wondering if you're overreacting, this episode is your reality check.

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

It's 2 AM and you're lying there, running through every terrible thing she could do if you upset her. False allegations. Parental alienation. Another court battle you can't afford.

So you edit each text three times before sending. You bite your tongue when she makes another ridiculous demand. You give in. Again.

Because the fear of what she might do feels scarier than just putting up with her current toxic behaviour. Even though the exhaustion of constantly managing her is crushing you.

But what if all this careful tiptoeing is actually making you more vulnerable, not less?

In this episode, I'll show you why your current strategy isn't protecting your family the way you think it is, and what's really happening when you avoid setting boundaries out of fear.

You'll learn how to prepare for her worst-case scenarios, what to actually do if she follows through on threats, and how to set boundaries even when you're terrified of the consequences.

👉 Grab my FREE Escalation-Proof Boundary Planner, so you can set your first boundary TODAY and know exactly what to do when she pushes back. highconflictblueprint.com/boundary-planner

👉 Episode Show Notes

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

What do you do when your stepchild repeats something cruel – and you know it came straight from her?

This episode is your guide to one of the most painful things stepmum's face – when the high conflict ex plants toxic messages in the kids’ minds and tries to turn them against you.

I’ll walk you through exactly how to respond without throwing the kids in the middle or fuelling more conflict. 

You’ll learn how to support them through the confusion and protect your relationship with them.

Most importantly, I'll show you how to help your stepkids trust their own experience over her manipulation – and how to turn these heartbreaking moments into opportunities to teach them something she never could.

If you’ve ever felt gutted by words like “You’re not my real mum”,  this is your lifeline.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/when-the-kids-believe-her-lies

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

Do you ever feel consumed by hate toward your partner’s high conflict ex?

For all the moments she’s ruined, the plans she’s disrupted, the lies, the manipulation, the way she just makes it impossible to enjoy your relationship and your life.

In this episode, I unpack the raw, unspoken truth behind those feelings of rage and resentment. 

I’ll show you what’s happening beneath the surface – and how to shift out of hate without pretending everything’s fine.

This episode is a must-listen if:

• You’re constantly triggered, even when she’s not around
• She’s turning you into someone you don’t recognise
• You just want to stop this feeling … but don’t know how

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/hate-the-high-conflict-ex

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.

It’s not just what she says – it’s how it gets to you. Every time.

In this episode, we’re digging into why you feel so triggered, and how to take back your emotional control. 

You’ll learn how emotional triggers actually work, why you spiral so quickly, and the real reason her drama hits you so hard. 

I’ll walk you through a step-by-step process to stop internalising her jabs, shift your perspective, and finally break the cycle – without needing her to change a thing.

👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/mastering-emotional-triggers

🔍 Not sure if your partner's ex is truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz

📩 Join my list. My emails are where I share things I don't share anywhere else (because I don’t just teach this stuff, I actually live it). Join here: highconflictblueprint.com/email

🎙️Got a question or situation you'd like me to cover on the podcast? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/questions

Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional legal or mental health advice.