The episode begins with Arthur, who has been "diverted" by Agrajag, who claims that Arthur has killed previous incarnations of him hundreds of times. He also claims to have been the bowl of petunias that materialised into existence in Fit the Third. Eventually it transpires one of the deaths was at Stavromula Beta, where someone tried to assassinate Arthur, and he ducked, hitting Agrajag. Arthur however has never been there. Agrajag cries "I've brought you here too zarking soon", but decides to attempt to kill Arthur anyway.

Arthur and Agrajag struggle, and Agrajag dies. Arthur escapes from the Cathedral of Hate, to which he had been diverted, by running into a passageway in the mountain. He notes that he has somehow ended up with the wrong bag—one he lost on Earth many years ago. He trips, and falls, only to discover that he is flying. He experiments with flying for a while, only to be hit in the small of the back by the party which Ford and Slartibartfast are attempting to enter.

The party is flying as well, and Ford and Slartibartfast are on a ledge around the building, not being permitted entry due to the lack of a bottle. Arthur remembers that his bag contains a bottle of Retsina, and this gets them entry. They see Trillian and Thor at the party, where Thor is chatting Trillian up.

They quiz people trying to find the Silver Bail, and discover that it has been instantiated as an award (a Rory) for the Most Gratuitous Use Of The Word Fuck In A Serious Screenplay. Before they are actually able to find it, the Krikkit robots appear, massacre the party-goers and take the Silver Bail.

Arthur tricks Thor into walking out of the building by challenging him to fight, leaving Trillian with no choice but to come with them. The Krikkitmen now have all the parts of the Wikkit Key, and Slartibartfast notes that their next move must be to go to the Wikkit Gate itself and try to intervene. 

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 12 October 2004

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Slartibartfast shows Ford and Arthur an Informational Illusion about the Krikkit Wars and the Wikkit Gate, and that the game of cricket on Earth is a "racial memory" of the Wars. Investigating further, they discover that the Krikkitmen, a previously peaceful people, built their first spaceship in a year, after a spaceship landed on their planet. The planet and its sun had been previously obscured in a dust cloud that left the Krikkitmen unaware of the existence or even possibility of existence of stars. It is considered remarkable that they constructed a working ship in just a year. After they saw the rest of the universe existed, they decided to annihilate it.

Meanwhile, on the Heart of Gold, Zaphod Beeblebrox hears the noise of thousands of people saying "Wop". He intercepts them on the bridge, where he is told they want the "Golden Bail", the ship's Infinite Improbability Drive. They take it, shoot him, and leave.

Back on Slartibartfast's ship, Ford and Arthur watch the Krikkit War Crimes Trial, presided over by Judiciary Pag. Pag's sentence is that Krikkit will be locked in an envelope of "Slo-Time", until the universe has ended, when it will be released, thus saving the universe from attack from Krikkit, and allowing Krikkit to exist in isolation after the end of the universe. However, a Krikkit ship escaped.

Slartibartfast notes that parts of the key to the Wikkit Gate, sealing the envelope of Slo-Time, have been re-appearing. After a failed attempt to recover the Wooden Pillar (the Ashes), Slartibartfast plans to go to a party, to locate the Silver Bail. Ford disagrees with this objective but agrees with the concept of going to a party. They teleport from the ship.

Arthur does not materialise with Ford and Slartibartfast, but elsewhere, in a gloomy room, with signs such as "DO NOT BE ALARMED. BE VERY VERY FRIGHTENED, ARTHUR DENT". The episode ends on a cliff-hanger, with the previously unintroduced character of Agrajag saying "Bet you weren't expecting to see me again."

The episode includes several Guide interludes, notably the story of Lallafa the poet, and a description of Brockian Ultra-Cricket. 

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 5 October 2004

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Arthur and Ford arrive at Lord's Cricket Ground on the sofa that they had caught in the previous episode. They have arrived in the final Test Match in the Ashes, in the middle of the field. A policeman apprehends them, and they retire to the pavilion.

Watching the match, Arthur drinks some tea and glances upon a newspaper. He notices the date on the newspaper, and realises that it was from the day before the Earth was demolished. A ball lands in Arthur's bag, and when the fielder comes to collect it, Arthur decides to keep it.

With the planet about to be demolished again, they then look for another lift from the planet. They discover a spaceship, hidden by a "Somebody Else's Problem field", hidden behind a screen.

The game finishes, with England winning the Ashes, and Slartibartfast joins Arthur and Ford. Slartibartfast explains that he has arrived because "something terrible is about to happen". He walks to the centre of the cricket pitch, and asks to be given the Ashes saying that they are "vitally important for the past, present and future safety of the Galaxy".

Another spaceship arrives. Eleven white robots, carrying bats, and wearing rocket pads on their shins (dressed like cricketers), come suddenly out, and start attacking the spectators and players with their bats, using them to hit grenade-like explosives at the humans present. They take the Ashes, say "we declare", and go back into their ship. Ford and Arthur catch a lift with Slartibartfast on his ship.

Meanwhile, Marvin is once again making conversation with a mattress. A similar ship to before arrives, and white robots get out and take Marvin's one remaining leg. After a brief while, they return and decide to take all of Marvin instead. 

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 28 September 2004

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Arthur wakes up in a cave on pre-historic Earth (thus ignoring the  events of the Secondary Phase), on the day, four years after he last saw Ford Prefect,  that Ford arrives back.  Ford carries news that he has detected  disturbances in the "space-time wash", and that they might be able to  escape.  The disturbance turns out to be an old sofa, which materialises  in a field.  They chase the sofa as it runs off, and then are  transported elsewhere.

Zaphod and Trillian are on the Heart of Gold, without Marvin.  Zaphod is extremely hung over, and upset that Trillian is dismissing the events of The Secondary Phase as a "psychotic episode".  Trillian wishes to do something and is  getting increasingly annoyed at Zaphod.  After preparing a fabulous  meal, and Zaphod still refusing to come out of the bathroom, she  teleports away, telling the ship to "transport me the hell out of Zaphod  Beeblebrox's life."

Meanwhile, Marvin is on a swamp on Sqornshellous Zeta, conversing  with the native life-forms, mattresses.  He is circling around and  around on one leg, while his artificial (i.e. replacement) leg is stuck  in the swamp.

Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 21 September 2004

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The BBC Radio 4's arts magazine programme Kaleidoscope previews the forthcoming BBC TV adaptation of The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Presenter Colin Ford talks to comedian Rob Buckman.

Disaster! Our hapless hitchhikers, Lintilla, and her clones are attacked by Brontitall Foot Warriors. Chaos ensues when the Lintillas meet Allitnil and his clones. Ford and Zaphod attempt to take over the working space ship only to find that there is a crew on board. They are whisked away from Brontitall and find themselves in from of the man who is running the Universe. He tells them that it was Zaphod who arranged the demolition of the Earth in order to put in the space bypass. Arthur is not pleased. 

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Ford and Arthur explore their new planet and find a spacecraft park full of abandoned spaceships. One appears to be in reasonable condition. Lintilla has excavated found a complete layer of shoes below the surface of the planet. 

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Once again, the Infinite Improbability Drive allows the Heart of Gold to escape. The ship ends up in a cave 15 miles above the planet Brontitall. Arthur falls out of the cave onto the back of a bird. This bird lives on a statue of Arthur himself. He discovers the archeaologists, the Lintillas. 

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The hitchhikers find that a Vogon fleet has been following them. The Vogons appear to be waiting for something before blowing them up. This is fortuitous since the Heart of Gold's computer has been programmed by Arthur to solve the problem of why he should ask for real tea instead of synthesized tea. The ship is therefore defenceless. 

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Zaphod is taken to the Frogstar, the most evil world in the galaxy. His punishment is to enter the Total Perspective Vortex. Meanwhile Ford flags down a passing spaceship, however it crashes when landing and a volcanic eruption ensues. The two hitchhikers become trapped in a cave. At the last moment they are rescued by Zaphod in the Heart of Gold, he having survived the almost always fatal Total Perspective Vortex. 

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