The Holding Time Podcast

 “I always just assumed that I would give birth and just breastfeed, and that would be it. It would be this natural, straightforward thing.”

“It's not just feeding them. If they hurt themselves, you can offer milk and that’s a comfort. It’s their safe place with Mum.”

Rachel shares her breastfeeding journey, reflecting on initial struggles with her first child. Despite her mother’s positive portrayal of breastfeeding, Rachel found it challenging, particularly as a single parent. She sought help from a lactation consultant but still struggled alone. With her second child, she felt more informed and experienced an easier transition. She highlights the importance of support networks and public breastfeeding-friendly spaces. She also shares Luca’s engagement with creative expression, showcasing how breastfeeding shaped their bond beyond infancy.

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

01:00 Meet Rachel: A Mother of four from Bradford

02:00 Breastfeeding journey 

15:00 Looking at breastfeeding locations in Bradford

18:00 Conclusion and Gratitude

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"I would see people passing the house and I would just daydream and think, ‘I wonder if they breastfed their baby? I wonder if they found it hard?’ And I was thinking that about people I didn’t even know."

"The idea of baby groups before I had a child was hell to me. Absolute hell… I realise now I've really eaten my words with that massively. The breastfeeding group that I go to—that's for me."

Hannah shares her emotional breastfeeding journey.  Desperate for support, she attended a breastfeeding event just two weeks postpartum, where she met the Breastfeed Together group, which became her lifeline. Facing tongue tie issues, painful feeds, and pumping exhaustion, she credits the infant feeding team, for saving her journey.

Despite overwhelming pain and doubts, her determination kept her going. Hannah reflects on the importance of strong female support systems, the lack of preparation for breastfeeding, and how she underestimated the emotional toll of birth interventions.

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Hannah's Breastfeeding Journey

02:40 Challenges and Solutions

06:00 Birth Experiences and Their Impact

09:45 Sharing Breastfeeding Plan with Family 

12:22 The subject of Tongue Tie 

20:25 Discusses Frustrations 

23:29 Conclusion and Acknowledgements

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"I researched so much about it, put so much effort into it and it just still wasn't working."

 "My mum was amazed at how much I knew about it, you know, from what I'd researched and how much I'd been taught by the midwives and how much support I was getting for it."

Sinead, a mother from Bradford, shares her emotional breastfeeding journey after an emergency C-section. Initially struggling with latching issues, she felt like she was failing despite extensive research. Encouraged by a lactation consultant, she joined a creative writing workshop to share her experience, despite feeling out of her depth. Through the workshop, she found solace in hearing other mothers' varied birth and feeding stories. Sinead reflects on the lack of breastfeeding support in previous generations and how her mother learned alongside her. Her journey highlights the emotional and physical challenges new mothers face and the importance of shared experiences.

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Meet Sinead and her family 

01:06 Breastfeeding Journey with the First Child

11:30 A Tramatic Labour Story

13:45 Reflections on Breastfeeding and Support Systems

26:04 Conclusion and AcknowledgementsSupport the project by becoming a Patreon member⁠⁠

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"It’s about having choices, being informed, and feeling in control of my body and birth. That’s what I wanted."

"I think it's really lovely to be able to, you know, enjoy breastfeeding, which was never something I felt would ever happen with my first journey."

Alison’s journey through birth and breastfeeding was marked by resilience and adaptation. Initially unprepared, she faced painful breastfeeding struggles, complications during her first home birth, and a hospital readmission due to her baby’s weight loss. Diagnosed with insufficient breast tissue, she turned to donor milk, aligning with her ethical vegan beliefs. For her second child, she chose an empowering freebirth and successfully supplemented her milk supply with donor milk. In this interview, Alison highlights the power of community, informed choices, and perseverance, encouraging new mothers to seek support and reminding them that challenges are temporary.

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Alison's Breastfeeding Journey Begins

01:23 Challenges and Misconceptions

02:40 Birth Experiences and Their Impact

06:05 Finding Confidence and Control

08:52 The Role of Donor Milk

12:53 Community Support and Empowerment

23:46 Reflections and Advice for New Mothers

25:53 Conclusion and Gratitude

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"I felt incomplete at times, but I kept going. Because motherhood isn’t about perfection—it’s about perseverance."

"It’s not just about feeding; it’s about connection, about learning, and about standing up for what your baby needs."

Rana recounts how she planned to breastfeed her first child for two years but became pregnant again when her daughter turned one. She struggled with guilt over weaning early, especially due to her high-risk pregnancy. She discusses her experience with the NICU, where her baby needed observation but was physically far from the postnatal ward. She was determined to breastfeed and asked nurses to call her whenever her baby cried, making frequent trips in a wheelchair despite the pain of her C-section recovery.  She reflects on how a maternity ward painting of a mother breastfeeding two babies inspired her during pregnancy, making her believe she could do the same.

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Personal Breastfeeding Journey Begins

01:20 Navigating High-Risk Pregnancy

01:35 Challenges of Stopping Breastfeeding

02:52 Reflecting on Guilt and Relationships

03:36 Traumatic Birth Experience

04:06 Induction and C-Section Decision

06:24 NICU Experience and Breastfeeding Struggles

10:53 Support Systems and Self-Advocacy

14:54 Community Resources and Activities

24:45 Concluding Thoughts and Gratitude

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"Breastfeeding isn’t just about feeding—it’s about connection, comfort, and transformation."

Maddie, a medical doctor and mother to a three-year-old, describes breastfeeding as a transformative experience that led her to switch careers from Obstetrics and Gynecology to public health. Initially, she saw breastfeeding as a casual choice but soon realised its deep emotional significance, especially after overcoming early challenges like weight loss and jaundice. Her journey inspired her to co-found MILC, a support network for breastfeeding doctors. She highlights systemic gaps in medical education, emphasizing the lack of lactation training for healthcare professionals. Passionate about change, she advocates for better breastfeeding support and hopes to establish lactation medicine as a recognized specialty.

"We need to do better. We need to change the system so that women get the support they deserve."

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Meet Maddy: A Journey of Breastfeeding

01:56 The Impact of Breastfeeding on Career Choices

02:36 Challenges and Triumphs in Breastfeeding

07:12 The Role of Medical Professionals in Breastfeeding

10:59 Cultural and Structural Barriers to Breastfeeding

23:45 Future Goals and Aspirations for Breastfeeding Support

25:43 Conclusion and Acknowledgements

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"I wholeheartedly appreciate what my body went through in order to give me two beautiful children. I cherish that."

"I think my biggest hurdle after pregnancy was being told, ‘Oh, you’ll just know what to do.’ But when your baby is crying, and you’re crying, you think, ‘I’m supposed to know... but I don’t.’"

Reena shares her journey of motherhood, highlighting both the joys and challenges. She describes her first pregnancy as a mostly positive experience but was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  This diagnosis impacted her birth plan, leading her to opt for a hospital birth instead of a planned home water birth. She talks about how she struggled with the reality of newborn care, feeling overwhelmed despite having a strong family support system. She describes feeling lost in early motherhood and candidly shares the physical changes after birth, including prolonged postpartum bleeding and the emotional shift of seeing herself in a new body. 

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Meet Gwena: A Mother from Bradford

00:50 First Pregnancy and Gestational Diabetes

02:48 Birth Experience During COVID-19

05:37 Postpartum Challenges and Support

20:29 Breastfeeding Journey and Public Perception

26:10 Conclusion and Gratitude

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 "I was really determined to breastfeed. I just knew I’d power through it no matter what."

"The reality of motherhood and birth and all of that is very, like, dirty and it’s grizzly and it’s just very primal... No one can tell you what that’s like until you go through it."

Alexandra’s breastfeeding journey was far more challenging than she expected. She initially believed it would be natural and easy, but quickly realised the reality was much harder. She struggled with positioning and attachment, lacked proper guidance, and felt unprepared despite attending an antenatal class. The experience was emotionally and physically draining, contributing to her postnatal depression. She also faced intense sleep deprivation and frustration. Over time, things improved, but she deeply regretted not knowing more beforehand. Looking back, she gained immense respect for mothers who struggle with breastfeeding and now understands why some choose not to continue.

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Birth Stories and Experiences

08:18 Challenges and Triumphs of Breastfeeding

12:47 Reflections on Motherhood

15:56 The Reality of Postnatal Depression

19:13 The Raw and Primal Side of Motherhood

23:29 The Misconceptions About Breastfeeding

25:41 Conclusion and Acknowledgements

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"I 100 percent wanted to breastfeed. I knew about the benefits for mum and baby, and just thought it was something that I would do without question."

"I was desperate to know any detail to make me remember, to understand what I had been through. And that journey helped me heal."

Clare’s story highlights resilience, the power of informed choices, and the possibility of healing after birth trauma. Her first birth and breastfeeding experience was traumatic, marked by severe illness, sepsis, and spinal headaches, leaving her unable to nurse and leading to PTSD. With therapy and support, she processed her trauma, enabling a more positive second birth and a successful breastfeeding journey. Clare emphasises the importance of professional help, family support, and healing, crediting therapy for her recovery. Breastfeeding her second child became a meaningful part of that process, bringing closure and joy. 

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:51 Clare's Early Breastfeeding Challenges

03:13 Difficult Birth and Postpartum Struggles

09:40 Therapy and Recovery Journey

13:10 Second Pregnancy and Positive Experience

23:19 Reflections and Final Thoughts

26:14 Closing Remarks and Acknowledgement

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"Throughout my pregnancies, I had Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction… where my hips no longer like each other or any other muscle in my body."

"When the baby latches on, if the baby's got a particular infection, your body will pick that up and it'll produce the antibodies for that infection."

In this interview Salma shares a deeply personal experience about the premature birth of her first daughter at 28 weeks. She described the medical challenges, including the importance of breast milk for premature babies, and how she dedicated herself to pumping milk every two hours for 12 weeks while her daughter was in the hospital. She discussed her struggles with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction during pregnancy, which caused significant pain but made labour relatively easier. Despite the difficulties of pumping, sterilising, and storage, she remained committed, recognising the health benefits for her baby.

00:00 Introduction to the Holding Time Podcast

00:41 Meet Our Guest: A Mother of Three

01:04 Career Journey: From Science Teacher to Women's Zone

02:27 Genetics Project and Community Work

03:53 The Importance of Breastfeeding for Preemies

04:07 A Premature Birth Story

08:30 Challenges and Triumphs of Breastfeeding

09:14 Expressing Milk: A Personal Mission

19:49 Cultural Perspectives on Breast Milk

22:24 Conclusion and Acknowledgements

Support the project by becoming a Patreon member⁠

⁠https://holdingtime.org/portfolio/⁠