The Homestay Kitchen: Cultural Connections with International Students who Study Abroad

Each student has separate, distinct connections with every member of your family. These connections build bonds to strengthen those networks, especially in a crisis. Or perhaps those connections could never be linked. Some relationships are not meant to be and having an awareness of these friendships, or lack thereof, are key to successful placements of international students.

Today, we chat with Dean Fox, a veteran homestay host with his wife and two kids. Dean shares with us his perspective of being a homestay Dad with a very practical and matter of fact frame of mind. He describes how miscommunication can happen even when no words are being used and how his family even vacationed to Disneyland with another student. We hope you enjoy his insight into making a connection with students and how providing a good foundation of boundaries leads to success. Enjoy!

Key Points From This Episode:

• We reminisce about cake and skittles.
• Dean tells us how he got into hosting students.
• Miscommunication happens a lot when hosting.
• Dean shares a story about hosting his first student… and the long ride she went on!
• We discuss cultural differences.
• Dean opens up about how he puts students at ease in the beginning.
• On the topic of boundaries and being strict, Dean shares a story about catching a student breaking the rules.
• Wondering how to manage kids of your own, all their activities AND hosting? #justdoit
• The challenges of hosting and the need for boundaries... and a dog with a bone.
• We talk about how student meals are prepared in each of our homes.
• Dean describes the interesting lunch his student prepared day after day.
• Dean fesses up on which student was his favourite.
• We talk about eating disorders in students.
• Dean shares his experience on building bonds with students during moments of crisis.
• Dean chats more about his favourite student and the family adventures they went on.
• Preparing for a new student… after the bar has been set high.
• When student placements don't work out.
• We chat about building student connections.
• Dean talks about his toughest student and how he navigated the placement.
• Dean's advice before committing to hosting.
• Dean reflects on his favourite moments from hosting.
• Dean describes the most mouthwatering favourite meals he would eat with his students.
• Finally, Dean reveals his secret to building trust and getting to know students.

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With new students coming into your home, it's always tough for them to adjust to a new culture. One way we believe that will help support your students in having better success at achieving a great experience, is to make friends.

Getting students to make friends is hard, especially when they are here for a short term or with a group from their own school. Coming into a new culture, having the time to settle in, and then on top of that, having to make friends can be daunting, but don't you worry. We've got tips to make your student's life a little easier because these new friendships can define their and your experience in hosting an international student.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Why is Erin in denial?
• Erin's update on her students and her combo party plan.
• Mary gives an update on her hosting plans.
• We chat about encouraging students to make friends.
• Mary's tips for local event info.
• Mary has even more tips for homestay parents. #showwhatyouknow
• Erin messes up her words. #shesblushing
• International clubs and athletic teams.
• How to deal with shyness. #tellmemore
• Sidenote: Erin's Blake story.
• We discuss the importance of friendship.

Links: Camp Victoria VIHSP Victoria Buzz Google Earth

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Being a homestay parent comes with many challenges and rewards. If you are new to hosting or considering taking on this gratifying experience, you'll want to listen to our chat with seasoned host parent, Jodi Johl.

Jodi has great tips for new homestay families about not overthinking it and how a joke can go a long way in settling in with your new student. She also shares how hosting students can have different choices based on your lifestyle, as she reminisces about her past students when she had little kids... to the present, transitioning to hosting while living on her own.

It was such a joy to talk to Jodi as she shared her know-how of hosting students since the early 2000's. Key Points From This Episode:

• Jodi talks to us about life and mothering with a full house.
• What it's like to parent alongside another parent (in a homestay situation).
• How it all began… Jodi chats about how she got into hosting.
• Jodi shares one of her most memorable (annual) hosting experiences.
• We start talking food! #asuitcasefulloffoods
• Jodi opens up about some of the challenges of hosting. #ilikethosepants
• We chat about some of Jodi's past students.
• The time Jodi was called upon to deal with problem parents and advocate for students.
• Jodi describes a strange situation and how her most memorable students came to be placed in her home. #mamabear
• We pore over Jodi's memory album and reminisce about some of her past students.
• Hosting during the holidays - ways to make the event special.
• On kids and family bonding… hosting with small children.
• Jodi gives advice for people just starting out with hosting.
• Jodi's tips for lunches.
• We reflect upon dinnertime.
• Even more talk about food! Jodi's favourite dishes to make for students.

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This episode about what not to do as a homestay parent has a lot of laughter. Not because the subject matter isn't serious, but because humour boots creativity and problem-solving. Laughter encourages risk-taking and develops thinking skills that we use to analyze situations to create more positive outcomes for you as a host and your student's experience. These tips are for all host families and cultures to help integrate your student into their new surroundings. So listen in on what you should not be doing as a homestay parent and flip that around, so that you understand what you should actually be doing instead.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Erin teases Mary.
• We discuss the reasons why you shouldn't go into a student's room.
• And then count down the Top 5 Things to Not Do as a Homestay Parent.
• Mary shares a story about why a student's friend wants to transfer homestays.
• We give tips for homestay parents on how to break the ice and create a warm, welcoming home.
• Erin reminisces about a story a coworker shared with her where there was confusion/a big miscommunication about toilet paper usage.
• Erin's fun tip for showing students how to use the shower.
• We talk about taking the bus.
• Mary thinks back to her over anxious bus riding student.
• What wakes Erin up at night?
• @22:17 Why was Mary giving Erin 'the look'?
• We talk about connection and gratitude. #anemotionalhug

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Food brings people together, but what if food becomes a barrier? Eating disorders are mental health issues and some students arrive with a negative dependency on food, without you even noticing. So what are the clues?

Today, we chat with Carla Beer-Carpenter, a registered dietitian for almost 30 years with a passion for helping people improve their relationship with food while working towards their health and nutrition goals.

In this episode, she shares tips and signs to look out for with students who may have food-related issues. She's also been a homestay parent since 2008 and has hosted dozens of students from many countries over the last decade. She reveals how hosting is an impactful experience, more than on us as hosts, but with the students. Finally, she uncovers how her own 3-week exchange as a young teenager changed her entire life. So listen in on this truly wonderful conversation with Carla Beer-Carpenter that we hope inspires you as it did for us.

Bio: Carla Beer-Carpenter has worked as a registered dietitian for almost thirty years, with a focus on renal nutrition and obesity management. She is passionate about helping people improve their relationship with food while working towards their health and nutrition goals. She has been a homestay parent since 2008 and has hosted dozens of students from many countries over the last decade, first girls while her two daughters were teenagers, then boys once her stepson started high school. She lives with her fiancé Richard and their blended family in Oak Bay.

Carla Beer-Carpenter, RD Good Sense Nutrition www.goodsensenutrition.ca (250) 661-0394

Key Points From This Episode:

• We chat about Carla's background, her business and how she came to host students.
• What is food culture?
• We talk about house rules. #thoushallnoteatinthebedroom
• Carla's tips for meal time and getting students (and picky eaters) to try new things.
• What are some of the signs that someone may be struggling with an eating disorder?
• Carla gives tips for how to deal with concerning behaviour around eating issues.
• We discuss body image. #dontcommentonlooks
• Carla shares the importance of not making a fuss over how much/how little children eat. #braceyourselftothrowfoodaway
• Carla gives Erin advice for the picky eater in her home.
• Healthy relationship with food vs. context of culture? We discuss different student scenarios.
• Carla talks about cooking for students and the difference between cooking for girls and boys.
• Carla opens up about the challenges of hosting and lets us in on a little secret.
• Carla reminisces about some of her positive hosting experiences.
• Carla uncovers how her own 3-week exchange as a young teenager changed her entire life.
• Carla shares her reasons for hosting.

Links: Good Sense Nutrition Instagram: @goodsensefoody Facebook: goodsensenutritionservices Twitter: @beer_carpenter How to deal with eating issues in all ages

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Okay let's get real. One of the top or main reasons families participate in a homestay program is so that they can make some money or at least they think they can. Heck, it's why we both started looking into the opportunity for our own families. However, over time it becomes more than that. We've made real connections with people all around the world. But yes, in an exchange, there is a remuneration. But what does it actually cost to host a student? Have a listen to where our money goes into hosting international students and why we think it's not always about the money.

Key Points From This Episode:

• Why does Erin think Mary is a bad girl?
• Erin breaks down the length of her marriage in terms of teenagers/young adults. #marydoesntdomath
• Erin is schlepping the fam jam up to Parksville.
• Mary gives an update on her student.
• We discuss the Victoria Day Parade (and why Erin has a love/hate relationship with them).
• We get into the financial realities of hosting. First up… housing!
• Mary explains why she doesn't like math.
• We talk about the importance of treating students like your own kids.
• We talk environmental awareness, energy efficiency and being frugal.
• Where does our money go?
• How do you do your laundry? Everything together or do you separate all the colours? We share a story about one of our friends…
• We talk about Wifi and cable tv and the differences between Erin and Mary's houses are vast.
• Mary's Sunday night ritual with her student.
• Mary talks about the meal her student prepared.
• Side note - Mary prances to the fridge for sour cream. Listen to Erin's rousing play by play.
• Homestay Kitchen News - Erin has an update!
• We talk about how the time spent with a student is a factor.

Links: Victoria Day Parade Victoria Buzz Parade Coverage Sour cream

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How do your intentions bring out the best in your family to have a successful homestay experience? What differences do the big city of Toronto and the west coast of Canada provide to an international student?

In this episode, we chat with Rosalyn Benatar, a recent transplant from Toronto to Victoria, BC. She shares her hosting experience from her perspective of living in the biggest city in Canada. She also reveals why you need to keep a positive attitude and an open heart when hosting international students and why your home is your sacred space, so students should respect your rules. Each homestay situation is so unique and has its own distinctive challenges, so let's listen in on Rosalyn's approach.

**Rosalyn Benatar** is the Owner Operator of Spa Birthday Parties for Kids & Owner Operator of De-stress Express. She is a holistic practitioner, holistic nutritionist, healing arts therapist, intuitive and event planner. You can connect with her through her website at [www.spabirthdaypartiesforkids.com](http://www.spabirthdaypartiesforkids.com) or find her on Facebook at [@spabirthdaypartiesforkids](https://www.facebook.com/spabirthdaypartiesforkids).

Key Points From This Episode:

• Where is the "Best Place in Canada"?
• Rosalyn chats about her history of hosting students.
• We discuss 'boy energy' and why Rosalyn chose to host females.
• Is there a difference in the way people parent in Toronto?
• Find out why Erin's student Jenny is moving to Montreal.
• Rosalyn answers Jenny's questions about Canadian winters and what she needs to pack.
• Authentic Canadian winter activities her students experienced.
• We talk about Montreal's reputation and Rosalyn makes recommendations for Jenny for her time there.
• We chat about students study habits and messy bedrooms.
• Rosalyn shares a story about one of her students who had to get a job.
• Rosalyn talks about positive parenting with an open heart.
• Rosalyn's tips to get to know your students better.
• Food is so important to the homestay experience. Rosalyn shares how she made holidays special for her students.
• T&T store - the "Asian Superstore" - and Erin's entrepreneurial idea!
• Rosalyn shares her favourite dish to make for students.

Links: T&T Fairway Markets

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Mother's Day, in North America where we are and in a large portion of the world, is May 12th. To mark this occasion, we give examples of how we mother our international students... or not. It really depends on the situation, the student's needs, and your own parenting views. Whether you actually have your own kids or not, you are still a homestay parent and this comes with some responsibility.

In this episode, we share our stories of Erin's way vs. Mary's way, of being a homestay Mom and the unexpected journeys it can take us on.

Key Points From This Episode: #maryspartytrick #shehasabendyelbow

• Do we mother international students differently than our own children?
• We talk about space and student bedrooms.
• Mary has a student! She shares her mothering strategy.
• Erin does a ton of mothering.
• Erin shares a story about decoding language between boys and girls.
• The time Erin taught a student about ovulation.
• We talk about cherry pick parenting.
• Erin admires the way Mary handled the time Kira left her stuffie on the bus.
• Mary shares how the voice of Erin saved her from her stubborn child.

Links: Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler Island Sexual Health Beyond The Talk

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How do you say something in North American English versus British English? Throw in an accent and you can very well have an extremely funny scenario.

In this episode, we get into the difficulties of learning English and how you need to see the humour in embarrassing situations. When your student enunciates a word differently, this could result in miscommunication. We provide plenty of examples of how saying a word slightly different can lead to some very awkward situations. But we do it all in stride with plenty of self-deprecating humour.

What are some of your favourite regional English words? In Canada, one of our favourites is a toque. If you need a winter hat, you'll know who's the Canadian when they ask for a toque. Share your words with us over email at [email protected]. We can't wait to learn some new ones! Thanks for sharing!

Key Points From This Episode:

• We talk about being afraid to make mistakes when using English.
• Pronunciation errors and how we mishear.
• Mary tells her favourite story about her Dad.
• Erin shares some of the words her students are scared to say. #remembertosmile
• The time one of Erin's students had a bad cold. #itsrudetosniffle
• What is the plural of platypus?
• More pronunciation errors - meanings in multiple languages.
• We talk about how to handle compliments.
• Erin's Italian student's most embarrassing story. #thatonetimeinmathclass #ownyourmistakes
• The time Mary's cousin got mad at her.
• What is a spanner?
• Mary gives us a new name for "hoodies". It's super cute!
• We discuss prairie terms for mealtimes. Erin gets super confused and doesn't know when to eat.
• Teeter totter or seesaw? What do you call it? Erin reenacts why they both make sense.
• Find out why Erin's Italian student wants to put a GoPro in Erin's car.

*#morelaughingaterin* * If you have tips that will help Erin roll her r's… send them our way! [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])

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In this episode, we share our top 5 reasons for hosting an international student. There are so many points, but these 5 things are the core of what we do and love. They encompass our own personal values and how those desires play a significant role in our everyday lives. Living and sharing our day to day with our students has definitely changed our outlook on a few things. What are your top 5 reasons? Or have you got a reason similar to ours? We'd love to hear about it! Email us at [email protected] or email us a voice message from your phone and we'd love to include it in our show!

Key Points From This Episode:

• We compare outfits. #ourpreschoolmoment #weareyoungatheart
• Mary gives an update on her sister's students.
• We talk about the financial stability of hosting students.
• And start counting down our Top 5 Reasons for Hosting International Students.
• Erin gives tips on what to do if you encounter a cougar.
• And explains the difference between a female and feline cougar.

#tranquilizedcougar

• We talk about all the sayings/ways to cheer at sporting events.
• Mary shares her love of berry picking.
• Big news! Mary announces her big goal for next year. #shewroteitdown #eringetsthegoosies
• Mary's great idea for Erin's goal.
• Mary's student who loved katsu.
• Diverson #1: We try to pronounce "worcestershire". #isthereanecho
• Erin talks about her Italian student and the balsamic vinegar incident.
• Erin talks about the cookbook she is putting together (see links below for a recipe!).
• Diversion #2: Erin goes to the cupboard for balsamic vinegar. #willmomanddadgetupset #isitsubstandard
• Erin and Mary try rolling their 'r's like Italian's. #erinandmaryaresocompetitive
• What is the region known as Modena? When in doubt ask Siri!

Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: Recipe - Balsamic Vinegar Pork Cutlets Ingredients for 2: 2 pork cutlets 1 tablespoon of all-purpose flour 1 tablespoon of butter 1 tablespoon of balsamic vinegar Salt Parsley (optional)

Bread the pork cutlets with flour on both sides and set them apart. Heat the butter in a medium pan and add the cutlets. Sprinkle the top with a small pinch of salt, wait a minute or so, and flip them on the other side. Sprinkle them again with a tiny pinch of salt. Add the balsamic vinegar, stir and mix one more minute. Serve immediately and hot, sprinkled with finely chopped parsley, if you please. Thrifty Foods Compliments Balsamic Vinegar

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