We've all thought about it. Hell, we've all done it (right?). We discuss the 1976 Spanish movie "Who Can Kill a Child?," about a vacationing British couple terrorized by feral children on permanent siesta. Don't let the opening documentary footage depicting dying children deter you! (or excite you, you sickos). And would we have ever seen this movie if it had gone by its American title "Island of the Damned?" Answer: No.

The gang begins its discussion of underseen 70s horror with Martin, aka the movie everyone is telling you to see following George Romero's death. Martin is an interesting film, a pre-Dawn Romero channeling early Scorsese, about an effete, silent loner who might just be a vampire. Despite being violent and deeply awkward, Martin still gets the attention of his desired lady, showing that in every era women just loved a bad (or crazy) boy. Let's just say that Martin breaks some hearts and gets his heart broken.

The gang talk to Nathan Ballingrud, author of the great horror collection "North American Lake Monsters," about envy, spite, failure, regret, mistakes, dropping out of college, child-rearing, the truth in horror fiction, and his upcoming works. Not all of those topics are depressing (alright fine they basically all are).

The gang abruptly concludes their discussion of "In the Dust of This Planet" when it becomes too painful to continue. Not in a satisfyingly nihilist / cosmically pessimist "painful." Ironically, more like "life might be pointless, but it's still too short to waste on this" type of painful. Before we tap out, we discuss magic circles, slime, ooze and a godawful internet poem about weather cycles.

Horror is about the paradoxical thought of the unthinkable, according to the introduction of "In the Dust of This Planet." We talk about this book and find out, unfortunately, that nothing in this book actually supports the thesis and instead offers discursive scatter-shot ramblings on black metal, demons, and whether demonology is a valid field of investigation. But don't worry about that because did you hear guys Jay-Z once wore a shirt that had the book's logo on it!

The gang reviews the 2016 "horror-thriller" The Love Witch, which received such critical adulation that it makes us question everything we know about the world. I mean, it's listed on Rotten Tomatoes as the 30th best reviewed horror movie OF ALL TIME. Spoiler: this movie is, in fact, terrible. Terrible Terrible Terrible. It is a three minute joke trailer dragged out to 2 hours. If you disagree, you are wrong, and must live with the terrible knowledge of that fact.

The gang reviews Ana Lily Amirpour's 2014 critical darling "A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night," billed as the "first Iranian Vampire Western." But we're Movie Truthers, so we reveal that it's really just a Persian language cologne ad filmed in California, featuring a vampire in a supporting role. That doesn't mean it's bad, though! It sure is well-shot! Black and White! Smoke! Cats! Come on in and listen!

The gang discuss director Robert Egger's 2015 critical darling The Witch, in all its ambitious, admirable, frustrating, kind of disappointing madness. (Excuse us, we mean "The VVitch: a New England Folktale," if you are pretentious and ignore that it was actually filmed in Canada). We also discuss the exceedingly silly critical commentary that now seems to accompany every critics' darling these days, where every critically-worthy horror movie has to be interpreted to speak to some worthy social cause.

The gang finishes their discussion with the last four stories of "Some Will Not Sleep." We have a wannabe-recluse who is dragged into dealing with old people problems, a Japanese girl with her ghost and hungry toys, a spat between estranged friends in a depressing town, and house that makes you old and senile.

The gang continues with their discussion of "Some Will Not Sleep." We have the soaring highs of "Yellow Teeth," we get the sinking lows of "What God Hath Wrought," and we end on the creamy middles of "Doll Hands."