Welcome to Season 1, Episode 1 of The Messy Podcast!
Tagline: The Making of a Matriarch – Exploring Ruby’s upbringing, marriage, and Shari’s traumatic entry into the world.
In this episode, we explore:
Ruby’s Early Life:
Born in Logan, Utah (1982) into a devout LDS family.
Moved to Roy, Utah.
Eldest of 5 siblings, tasked with raising them.
Childhood shaped by LDS teachings: motherhood as the "highest calling."
Ruby & Kevin’s Marriage:
Met at Utah State University (2000); engaged within 2 weeks.
Vision board for a husband: "5 inches taller," "engineer," "handsome."
Wedding on December 28, 2000: mismatched shoes, Southwestern blankets.
Dynamic: Ruby as "Ultimate Mother," Kevin as the "supporting actor."
Shari’s Traumatic Birth:
Born March 3, 2003, after a high-risk pregnancy.
Emergency surgery for intestinal blockage at 3 months.
Parenting philosophy: "let babies cry it out," no coddling.
Early signs of anxiety: night terrors, fear of demons, unexplained stomach pain.
Early Family Dynamics:
Ruby’s temper: slapping Shari for "wrong facial expressions."
Rise of mommy blogging ("Good Lookin Home Cookin").
Shari’s realization: "Mommy isn’t very nice to me."
Key Quotes from the Book:
"Ruby’s self-worth was built on exceptionalism—if she couldn’t be extraordinary at piano, she’d be extraordinary at motherhood."
"My earliest memories are of Ruby crying... ironic, since she seemed immune to anyone else’s tears."
"I learned my pain didn’t matter. My needs were inconvenient."
"Ruby’s blog recipes were aspirational. I’m not sure she ever made those dishes."
Themes to Highlight:
Religious Pressure: LDS teachings on motherhood as divine duty.
Performance vs. Reality: Ruby’s curated online persona vs. her temper.
Generational Trauma: Ruby repeating her strict upbringing with Shari.
Emotional Neglect: Shari’s journal entries about self-loathing and isolation.
Narration & Discussion Points:
Ruby’s Motivations: How did her LDS upbringing shape her need for control?
Cultural Context: Why does Utah’s "family vlogging" culture blur faith and exploitation?
Shari’s Trauma: Analyze her recurring nightmare: "Even in heaven, Ruby’s voice condemns me."
Foreshadowing: Ruby’s early cruelty (e.g., buzzing Chad’s hair) as a precursor to later abuse.
Recommended Interviews:
LDS Scholar: Discuss doctrinal emphasis on motherhood and large families.
Parenting Expert: Analyze Ruby’s "cry it out" methods and psychological impacts.
Family Vlogging Historian: Connect Ruby’s early mommy blogs to later fame.
Soundtrack Suggestions:
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