Yes, I have kids.

No, they haven’t always eaten everything I’ve put in front of them.

In spite of all this, I stand by my statement: there is no such thing as a “picky eater.”

This is not an argument over semantics but an attempt to understand attitudes and behaviors - both around food and otherwise - in a way that seeks to recognize the Hunger for Connection that is behind them.

In today’s episode, we’ll look at the neuroscience of fear and safety and how something really good can make things really difficult - especially when it comes to getting children to eat their blue vegetables (see what I did there?).

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I did not misspeak… or mistype? Many of the most beneficial foods for you and your child are blue vegetables - at least, that’s what they’d say in ancient Japan.

Were they colorblind? No. While the colors we see are the result of light wavelengths interacting with the sensory receptors in the backs of our eyeballs, the way that we interpret those signals are largely learned and formed through culture.

In today’s episode of the Hunger for Connection, we once again dive into the science of food and how our bodies experience flavor - including through the eyes! You’ll see how this understanding of perception can open you up to greater empathy and compassion for children having a difficult time dealing with what their bodies are sensing.

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The holiday season came and went before I could sit down to record an episode. Election season is over, and the college football season is wrapping up in a few short hours (go Bucks!). The winter season is now upon us, as is a new year and visions for what the future will hold.

In our lives as parents, we go through different seasons - and caring for disconnected children can bring with it some dark and difficult periods. Are you looking forward to this year and this next chapter of your parenting journey with hopeful anticipation or guarded concern?

In this episode of the Hunger for Connection Podcast, I’ll draw on my own experiences of some tough seasons and give you encouragement routed in the trusted philosophy of the Hunger for Connection. I hope you take value from it, and please share it with a friend.

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Do you enjoy watching celebrities recoil in pain as they munch on wings dipped in sauces of increasing degrees of “heat?” Hot they really are not.

Your sensory system has an incredible capacity to detect all sorts of various sensations - light, dark, hot, cold, sweet, sour, rough, smooth, heat, and pain. However, it sometimes gets it wrong.

Hot foods are a perfect example. In spite of the searing, burning tingle they bring to your tongue, spicy dishes are not in fact “hot,” but your body thinks they are.

Today on the Hunger for Connection Podcast, Chef Kibby dives into the neuroscience of hot stuff and the important lesson it can teach us about how a disconnect between the body and the brain can impact the way we show up in relationships.

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Refreshments are such a common part of our culture that we don’t often consider just how important a role being fed plays in allowing us to be in better relationship with ourselves and others.

Today on the Hunger for Connection Podcast, Chef Kibby dives into the neuroscience of eating and how being refreshed is about more than simply satisfying a craving for chips and guacamole!

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In this turbulent time in our country’s history, it’s easy to get stuck into the us-versus-them mentality - a mentality that can just as easily creep into our parenting.

Today on the Hunger for Connection Podcast, join me as I show how seeing the Hunger for Connection in others - including those with whom we disagree politically - can open up hidden stores of empathy and compassion, allowing us to build relationships where it seems next to impossible.

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How is it possible for us to be both hungry and happy, and what does it have to do with the Gospel?

In a recent episode of the Bible Project Podcast, Tim and Jon discussed a familiar passage in the Gospel of Matthew that drew my attention — mainly because my understanding of it differs slightly from theirs. I want to share with you my perspective on this section of the Beatitudes and explain why it is important to understand that Jesus is not using a metaphor when He says, “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness for they will be satisfied.”

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— Chapters —

0:00 Intro

1:18 Theme

1:53 Tim Mackey made a logical presumption

6:30 In must be a metaphor… right?

7:33 Understand hunger

10:47 Understand righteousness

13:34 The gospel of connection

15:35 God’s story of reimagining our hunger

17:22 Applications

19:39 Final thoughts

If you’ve ever had a child spin out of control over something seemingly small and insignificant, then you know what it’s like to live in the Distress Cycle.

In this installment of the Hunger for Connection, we continue to dig into the meaning of hunger, how it relates to how our children relate to the world around them, and how understanding the Distress Cycle can help us as foster and adoptive caregivers to see our children differently.

In the process, you and I will also begin to come to terms with our own tendancies to get caught in the Distress Cycle and how to avoid it.

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— Chapters —

0:00 Intro

1:29 Theme

2:03 Thanks & leave a review!

3:30 Review of the 4 D’s and the cyclical nature of hunger

5:23 Returning to infancy and distress

7:54 The cycle intensifies

12:35 Your distress cycle

15:13 Your child can’t feed you

18:09 Find the comfort to escape your distress cycle

21:09 Closing thoughts

At the intersection of interpersonal neurogastronomy and child development is an insightful truth: none of us were born understanding hunger.

That’s not to say we weren’t born hungry or for the capacity to be hungry; hunger is more than simply the discomfort it causes us. In order for hunger to do its job, understanding must be developed — a set of neurological connections formed in relationship that allow us to recognize hunger for what it is and be able to discern how to satisfy it.

This perspective holds powerful lessons for those of us who are trying to help kids from hard places to contextualize the discomforts they are feeling in their bodies — whether by the hunger for food or by the Hunger for Connection.

I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.

Click here to check out the book Neurogastronomy by Gordon Shepherd!

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— Chapters —

0:00 Intro

0:33 Theme

1:09 A review of neuroplasticity

2:28 Discomfort without context

5:05 The power of feeding and being fed

8:46 The important role of feeding in contextualizing feelings

10:46 Kids need help contextualizing their feelings

13:56 Struggling to connect with a disconnected child

14:51 The context of your own discomfort

17:02 Closing thoughts

The first lesson I learned when I began to study the realm of interpersonal neurogastronomy is this: food has no flavor.

You may not realize how important this distinction is to understanding our relationship with food, but after listening to this episode of the podcast you’ll also see how much an impact this change in perspective can have on caring for children from hard places.

I hope you are served by this episode. If so, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend.

Click here to check out the book Neurogastronomy by Gordon Shepherd!

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— Chapters —

0:00 Intro

1:17 Theme

1:53 Red-pilled by Neurogastronomy

4:21 No flavor?

8:04 Flavor factor 1: Hard wiring

9:43 Flavor factor 2: Soft wiring

10:43 Flavor factor 3: Situation / emotional state

12:08 All brains are not the same

16:47 The flavor of trauma

21:45 Closing thoughts